Copyright

Copyright © 2007 by Charles Barsotti

Foreword copyright © 2007 by George Booth

All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Little, Brown and Company

Hachette Book Group

237 Park Avenue, New York, NY 10017

Visit our website at www.HachetteBookGroup.com.

First eBook Edition: April 2009

ISBN: 978-0-316-07568-8

Charles Barsotti’s cartoons have been a staple at The New Yorker for more than three decades. His distinctive round pups, rendered in just a few simple lines, are instantly recognizable and beloved for their depiction of canines in human roles, bringing their dog’s eye view to human concerns.

The juxtaposition of their simple world—consisting only of food, play, and the goings-on of their owners—with the utterly human tasks of going to therapy, talking business, or seeing a lawyer is both adorable and hilarious. A dog standing at a podium announces, “If elected, I promise to beg, fetch, and roll over.” An older dog frowns down at a young pup and says, “Don’t be smug, all puppies are cute.” An angry dog with brush in hand paints a BEWARE THE DOG sign. With an irresistible blend of biting humor and affectionate observation, this is a perfect gift book for dog lovers everywhere.

“You’re right, he is smiling. Now get him to stop”.

In memory of Jiggs,

the world’s greatest dog

Contents

Copyright

Dedication

Foreword

Charles M.Schulz Creative Associates

They Moved My Bowl

Acknowledgements

About the Author

A Howlingly Funny Collection of Dog Cartoons by Beloved New Yorker Cartoonist Charles Barsotti

FOREWORD

Charley Barsotti is a longtime friend. When he asked me to write a few words a few words for this book I said, “I’m going to write a bunch of lies about you!” I didn’t.

Barsotti is a whole package. First, an idea man. Then, the refined idea. And the right drawing. He zeroes in on the target. Art! You know that. Or you are invited to discover it soon in They Moved My Bowl.

Here is a Barsotti: One mild-mannered pup says to another, “My bark is worse than my bite, and my bark is sort of a yap.” Think of all the barks out there that are really only yaps.

Another Barsotti: Executive dog behind desk to possible employee dog: “And when the time comes, the company will put you to sleep at its own expense.”

Caution: When you are alone on the park bench across from the post office and you recall a Barsotti, do not giggle in a strange manner; when eating spaghetti, be careful; when on a train in a seat for three being squeezed from both sides, and you think about a Barsotti, do not giggle; and during intimate moments with your yokemate, do not giggle or snort at a Barsotti. Especially do not snort!

George Booth

CHARLES M.SCHULZ CREATIVE ASSOCIATES

May 23, 1990

Mr. Charles Barsotti

419 E. 55th street

Kansas city, MO 64110

Dear Charles:

I have been wanting to write to you for some time to tell you of my admiration for the work you have been doing.

I think the little dogs that you draw are funniest cartoons that anyone has been doing in recent years. I keep hoping that someone will collect them all in book form some day.

Best regards with great admiration,

Charles M. Schulz

CMS/P1

“O.K., laugh, but this is going to be my ticket out of here.”

“It’s O.K. I’m not really in the mood, either.”

“I’m back. Move.”

“The special, sir. Shall I spread it out or will you knock it over yourself?”

“If elected I promise to fetch, beg and roll over.”

“I do what they tell me, I eat what they give me. How do I know they’re not a cult?”

“Well, it’s not my fault. You can see that it says‘Gourmet’ right on the can.”

“Front yard. All’s quiet. Over and out.”

“I’m not angry, I’m just very disappointed.”

“It’s been moved that we adjourn for an afternoon nap. Is there a second?”

“And what do you think will happen if you do get on the couch?”

“The bidding will start at eleven million dollars.”

“Talk? Hell, after a few drinks you can’t shut me up.”

I had to bite him once, but now I always get a great table.”

“Stay cool—we’re picking up a lot of chatter.”

“The rug will not be sent out for lab tests.?

“I give you the seven-billion-dollar pup,then you give me back the seven-billion-dollar pup,and we’ve each made seven billion dollars.”

“Oh, God, am I housebroken.”

“Well, please look again, Operator. It’s Fluffy—F-L-U-F-FY—and she lives in Larchmont.”

“Yeah? Well, I happen to know that you’re not supposed to be in here, either.”

“My bark is worse than my bite, and my bark is sort of a yap.”

“The old tricks, young fellow, have served me well.”

“What the hell did you do with your day before I retired?”

“Now, now, Harrison, we all start somewhere.”

“Of course the company appreciates your years of loyalty.”

“I bark at everything. Can’t go wrong that way.”

“First, can we agree that it’s a big back yard?”

“Yes, they are crazy, but they can open the fridge.”

“File!”

“Keep talking, I’m listening.”

“It’s non-negotiable.”

“Scooting across the lobby rug on your butt,that’s not the behavior I expect from avice-president of this corporation.”

“They think they’re accidents.”

“Today’s lecture is on loyalty.”

“Not guilty. He needed new Top-Siders anyway.”

“Must you people always call at dinnertime?”

“I’ll have what he’s having.”

“Whenever you’re ready.”

“They throw it, I chase it—there are worse gigs.”

“Bad dog, bad dog,’ she said. ‘We should have gotten a cat.’”

“My advice is to learn all the tricks you can while you’re young.”

“But first, a distraction.”

“I understand you’ve learned some new trickssince you were here last.”

“Pay attention to what I say, kid,I’ve been around the block.”

“So you’re little Bobbie; well, Rex here has been going on and onabout you for the last 50 years.”

“Dog bites man, eh? Great, we’ll hold the front page.”

“I never used to think in terms of dog years.’

“I was clipped for summer.’

“Hey, do you want to hear a good cat joke?”

“It’s good for my image.”

“If I didn’t know before I sure as hell know who Manolo Blahnik is now.”

“So you woke up and found yourself in the pound.

Is that when you decided to turn your life around?”

“Yeah, I’m O.K. Are you O.K.?”

“Cut that out.”

“Tell him to fetch his own damn slippers.”

“You heard, me, pal, the bitch gets the part.”

“As unbelievable as it may seem to you today, this court was once a puppy, too.”

“It’s agreed then, we’ll name him Rex and keep him.”

“Don’t be so smug, all puppies are cute.”

‘The damn cat’s got caller ID.”

“I’m a bad dog. I’m a bad dog. I’m a really bad dog.”

“Well, I think you’re wonderful.”

“I’m trying to deal directly with my fears.”

“Someday, my son, that will mean you.”

“When I’m ready to retire I’ll call you about a goddam burglar alarm.”

“I’m trained, yes, but not highly trained.”

“All the interesting traits have been bred out of me.”

“They’re out. It’s the damn answering machine.”

‘Yes, I’m talking to you. I believe you’re the only Sparky in the house.”

“Unconditional love? I don’t think so.”

“My God, will I ever stop falling for that fake throw?”

“Oh, I would bite, but only if the cause were just.”

“Not guilty, because puppies do these things.”

“Thanks for asking, but no. My frisbee days are behind me.”

“She’s really upset.”

“O.K., I’m on my way home.”

“And only you can hear this whistle?”

“It makes me want to pee.”

“News Flash: I don’t have to do that anymore.”

“Damint, Winslow, don’t just barge in withoutscratching and whining at the door first.”

“O.K., so how wide is this pet door?”

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I should have a short-haired, mixed-breed dog named Buster.

Instead we have a Maltese named Chloe. When I looked up the Maltese breed years ago the first word that caught my eye was “aristocrat.” And that’s our Chloe.

Chloe, to her credit, gets on well with Buster Buster being imaginary. And Buster for his part is a marvelous model for the pup cartoons, while Chole waits impatiently for royal portrait that she is sure is her due.

So I want to thank Buster for his help in pulling these cartoons and this book into being, as well as Michael Sand, Jeannie Schulz, George Booth, Bob Mankoff, Lee Lorenz, Anne Hall, Martha Kaplan, Michael Wolff, and the good people at The Cartoon Bank. In the Heartland, special thanks go as always to Ramoth and to p.a. Carol Jonas (who finds things).

Chloe was no help at all.

Charles Barsotti, formerly the cartoon editor of the Saturday Evening Post, has been a staff cartoonist at The New Yorker since 1970. His work has also appeared in Playboy, USA Today, Punch, and Fortune, Small Business among other publications. He lives in Kansas City, Missouri.

George Booth has been a New Yorker cartoonist since 1969.

A Howlingly Funny Collection of Dog Cartoons by Beloved New Yorker Cartoonist Charles Barsotti

“Stay cool—we’re picking up a lot of chatter.”

“I think the little dogs that you draw are funniest cartoons that anyone has been doing in recent years. I keep hoping that someone will collect them all in book form someday.”

—CHARLES M.SCHULZ, in a letter to Charles Barsotti, 1990