How to Analyze People with Dark Psychology

3 Books in 1

Dark Psychology and Manipulation, How to Read People Like a Book and Psychological Warfare.

Understanding Human Behavior for a Better Life

CHRISTOPHER KINGLER

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

DARK PSYCHOLOGY AND MANIPULATION

Introduction

Chapter 1: What is Dark Psychology and How Does it Work?

Chapter 2: How to Use Dark Psychology in Your Daily Life

Chapter 3: Dangerous Dark Personalities

Chapter 4: The Dark Triad and Dark Tetrad

Chapter 5: Manipulation and Deception

Chapter 6: Manipulative Personalities

Chapter 7: Personality Traits of Victims

Chapter 8: Emotional Manipulation Tactics

Chapter 9: Mind Control/Brainwashing

Chapter 10: Neuro-Linguistic Programming

Chapter 11: How to Deal with Manipulative People

Chapter 12: How to Defend Yourself from Manipulation Techniques

Chapter 13: How to Avoid Being Manipulated

Chapter 14: Myths and Misconceptions About Dark Psychology

Chapter 15: Common Cons Worldwide and The Dark Psychology Behind Them

Chapter 16: The Internet and Dark Psychology

Conclusion

HOW TO READ PEOPLE LIKE A BOOK

Introduction

Part 1: Verbal And Paraverbal Communication

Chapter 1: Voice

Part 2: How To Understand the Body: Interpret the Most Common Signals

Chapter 2: What Is Non-Verbal Communication?

Chapter 3: How to Read Facial Expressions

Chapter 4: The Eyes

Chapter 5: The Mouth

Chapter 6: Interpreting Body Gestures

Chapter 7: Posture

Chapter 8: Breathing

Chapter 9: The Hands

Chapter 10: The Chest and Shoulders

Chapter 11: The Vital or Proxemic Space

Chapter 12: How to Understand Body Language: Interpret The Most Hidden Signals (Advanced Techniques)

Part 3: Techniques to Identify If a Person is Lying

Chapter 13: Beware of Bluffing

Chapter 14: How to Seduce and Attract Someone

Chapter 15: What Really Motivates Us?

Chapter 16: Personality Types

Chapter 17: Practical Application

Chapter 18: How to Fake Your Body Language

Conclusion

PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE

Introduction

Chapter 1: Why You Should Know the Art of Psychological Warfare

Chapter 2: What Is Psychological Warfare Theory?

Chapter 3: The Greatest Exponents of the Art of Psychological Warfare

Chapter 4: What Can We Learn From Sun Tzu and Machiavelli?

Chapter 5: Dangerous Dark Personalities

Chapter 6: The Psychology of Deception, Influence and Domination

Chapter 7: The Art of Blackmail, Manipulation and Brainwashing

Chapter 8: Manipulative Political Propaganda and Media Tactics

Chapter 9: What Is Psyop?

Chapter 10: Why Do People Join Cults? How Do Cults Work?

Chapter 11: Psychological Warfare and Strategic Thinking at Work

Chapter 12: Psychological Warfare and Strategic Thinking in Relationships and the Power of Words

Chapter 13: Psychological Warfare and Strategic Thinking For Entrepreneurs and Business

Chapter 14: Defense Strategies In Psychological Warfare

Chapter 15: Train Your Mind To Be Calm In Every Situation

Chapter 16: Persuasion vs Manipulation

Chapter 17: Earn Respect

Conclusion

DARK PSYCHOLOGY

AND MANIPULATION

CHRISTOPHER KINGLER

INTRODUCTION

The combination of dark psychology and manipulation is perhaps the most sinister, malevolent, evil, and damaging form of controlling behavior. It can be life-threatening to the victim. It is characterized by extreme harmfulness and premeditated deception.

This book aims to give some understanding of the dark psychology and manipulation process. It explains how people can be induced into doing things that are harmful to themselves or others. Understanding what is happening in such situations can help break the cycle of control. It will also help prevent such situations from happening to another person again if it has happened to you at some stage in your life.

There is mounting concern about the rise in controlling behavior by people in positions of trust such as teachers, religious leaders, politicians, and employers. Some unscrupulous people use creative mind games to control others for their own gain. This can include forcing someone to do things against their will or stealing their money or property. It can also include more serious abuse such as rape or even murder.

Such acts go way beyond bullying, which can be a passing phase for some perpetrators. Dark psychology and manipulation instead involves long-term abuse and the deliberate use of false information to deceive a victim into believing that they are immune to being exploited by another person.

Many forms of mind control involve the suppression or blocking of information to the conscious mind of the victim. This enables them to be exploited by unscrupulous people.

Examples of Dark Psychology and Manipulation Include:

a) Being forced into doing things against your will for no apparent reason

b) Having your money or possessions stolen by manipulating you into giving them to another person for no apparent reason

c) Being exploited for sex by a person that claims to love you but in reality does not care at all about you

d) Being forced to take illegal drugs by being told that they will help you with an illness

e) Being forced into illegal activities or being forced to keep silent about them

f) Being deceived into going along with something because you are led to believe it is for your own good or the good of others

g) Being forced to not tell anyone about a situation because you are being told that it is for a good and noble cause

h) Being deceived into thinking that a certain person would never manipulate you because they are your friend, relation, or religious leader

i) Being told that if you leave a bad situation or relationship, then something worse may happen to you

j) Being denied help because of such things as your age, gender, religion, or culture

k) Being told that you are the only person that can save yourself

l) Being encouraged to stay in a bad situation because it is less stressful than leaving it

If you are involved in any of these situations, then this book may be able to help you. It explains some of the techniques that can be used in these situations.

This book will mainly describe dark psychology and manipulation from the victim’s point of view. However, there are also examples of how such methods can be used by perpetrators to exploit others for their own gain.

CHAPTER 1: WHAT IS DARK

PSYCHOLOGY AND HOW DOES IT WORK?

What is Dark Psychology?

Psychology underpins everything in our lives, from advertising to finance, crime to religion, and even from hate to love. Someone who can understand these psychological principles holds the key to human influence.

Learning all the different principles of psychology is not necessary. Start with the lessons on these pages, and you'll have a solid foundation. You have to be able to read people, understand what makes them tick, and understand why they may react in ways that may not be normally expected.

If only a few people understand psychology and how the human mind works, why is it so important to understand? Those who know how the human mind works can use that power and knowledge against you.

Dark Psychology Tactics That Are Used Regularly

- Love Flooding

This includes buttering up, praising, or complimenting people to get them to comply with what you want. If you want someone to help you move some items into your home, you may use love flooding to make them feel good, making it more likely that they will help you. A dark manipulator could also make the other person feel attached to them and then get them to do things they may not normally do.

- Lying

Recounting a fictitious version of the situation. It can also involve a partial truth or exaggeration.

- Love denial

This one can be particularly hard on the victim because it can make them feel lost and abandoned by the manipulator. This includes withholding affection and love until you can get what you want out of the victim.

- Withdrawal

This is when the victim is given the silent treatment or is avoided until they meet the other person's needs.

- Restricting choices

The manipulator may give their victims access to some options, but they do this to distract them from the options they don't want the victim to make.

- Semantic manipulation

This is a technique where the manipulator will use some commonly known words that have accepted meanings by both parties in a conversation. But then they will tell the victim, later on, that they had meant something completely different when they used it.

- Reverse psychology

This is when you tell someone to do something in one manner, knowing that they will do the opposite. But the opposite action is what the manipulator wanted to happen in the first place.

Who Will Deliberately Use Dark Tactics?

Many different people may choose to use these dark tactics against you. They can be found in various aspects of your life, which is why it is so important to learn how to stay away from them. Some of the people who may use some of these dark psychology tactics deliberately include:

- Narcissists

These individuals will have a bloated sense of self-worth, and have a need to make others believe that they are superior. To meet their desires of being worshipped and adored by everyone they meet, they will use persuasion and dark psychology.

- Sociopaths

Sociopaths are charming, intelligent, and persuasive. But they only act this way to get what they want. They lack any emotions, and they are not able to feel any remorse. This means they have no issue using dark psychology tactics to get what they want, including creating superficial relationships.

- Politicians

With the help of dark psychology, a politician could convince someone to cast votes for them merely by convincing them that their point of view is the right one.

- Salespeople

Not all salespeople will use shady tactics against you. But it is possible that some, especially those who are regularly getting high sales numbers, will not think twice about using dark persuasion to manipulate people.

- Leaders

Throughout history, there have been plenty of leaders who have used dark psychology to get their team members, subordinates, and citizens to do what they want.

- Selfish people

This could be any person you come across who will make sure that their own needs are put before anyone else's. They aren't concerned about others, and they will let others forego their benefits so that they can benefit themselves. If the situation helps them, it is okay if it helps someone else. But if someone will be the loser, it will be the other person and not them.

How Is Dark Psychology Used Today?

- When you were a child, you would see how adults, especially those close to you, behaved.

- When you were a teenager, the mind and your ability to understand the behaviors around you were expanded substantially.

- You were able to watch others use dark psychology tactics and succeed.

- Using these tactics may have been unintentional in the beginning, but when you found that it worked to get you what you wanted, you would start to use those tactics intentionally.

- Some people, such as politicians, public speakers, and salespeople, are trained to use these types of tactics to get what they want.

Broad, Practical and Theoretical Observations

Murder, rape, incest, and abuse are all words that can send chills up your spine. As a culture, we have saturated ourselves with contrary ideals for entertainment purposes. We sit and watch horror movies, crime shows, and reality shows, diving into the deviants’ minds. The darkness within becomes an obsession for some, and though they don't re-enact or find the actions preferable, there is a connection that few want to recognize outwardly. While most human beings have a buffer in their mind, which helps us know fact from fiction and right from wrong, some lack it.

Imagination is one thing. Combining people's worst fears to find what scenario can be the scariest and most grabbing is something fiction writers and creators often do. Often, though, when watching these dark psyches at work on the screen in front of you, the human mind finds a specific recognition of why the predator or villain does what they do. Some movies and books even prey on the idea of the worst parts of the human condition. Depraved and distraught, the father who witnessed his family's murders climbs out of his ominous depression to wreak havoc on those that committed the acts to begin with. There is satisfaction for people in the revenge of heinous acts. But then, doesn't that apply the same dark psyche to the perpetrator, regardless of the reasoning behind it?

Dark psychology has no pointed targets and cares little for the reasoning behind the actions. It is the actual act of manipulation, deceit, and harm that carries the dark psyche's weight. The idea of revenge has been around for a very long time. Prominent examples of the "eye for an eye" concept are still in existence today. The death penalty is one such example, though its root is broad and doesn't currently encourage one person's private actions to another. The government is in charge of carrying out the punishment. But long before that, laws were erected in civilizations that based themselves on the idea of revenge.

Psychological Definition

The human condition is studied continuously, broken down, dissected, and used in the psychological community. Dark psychology subscribes to this as well. However, in dark psychology studies, its focus relates to the nature of the predator vs. prey relationship of the human condition. Psychologists focusing on the dark psyche move their research toward people who perpetrate crimes or abnormal activity with little or no instinct or care for the social norms. Most people have that buffer protecting others from these ideals, while the perpetrators lack this ability to keep control of their most basic instincts.

You may be thinking that basic instincts do not include the often-heinous acts performed by someone with a dark psyche. And while you are correct, there is a significant difference to the .01% of criminal acts performed by dark minds, and if you think about the most primal humans from millions of years ago, they lacked one major player that we all deem reasonable. The very early primitive human beings did not have a societal construct that had been bored into them from birth, augmented with religious ideals, and regulated by high functioning governments. Their most primal instinct was survival.

In a world fraught with danger, both natural and nurturing, the human mind protected the body at all costs. There were most likely times that manipulation and deceit were committed in an uncalled-for situation. However, our brains are wired to perceive danger and either act on that or flee. Survival back then had more to do with the ability to fight off animals and find food, water, and shelter. There were no other societal norms.

Since our brains are the same brains inside the Neanderthal man, our perception of danger is the only thing that has changed. In a world where almost everyone has food, water, and shelter at their disposal, the fight for those types of situations is less frequent. In today's society, we see the instinct of survival manipulated into a course where we fight for better, and more. Frequently the crimes committed outside of the realm of revenge or the .01% are based solely on those theories.

CHAPTER 2: HOW TO USE DARK

PSYCHOLOGY IN YOUR DAILY LIFE

How Psychology Can Improve Your Life

The Following Are Some of the Top Ten Realistic Uses for Psychology in Regular Life

1. Get Motivated

Whether your goal is to stop smoking, lose weight, or learn a new language, some training from psychology provides pointers for staying motivated. To maintain your motivation, make use of some of the tips derived from research in cognitive and educational psychology:

- Introduce new or novel factors to keep your interest high.

- Vary the order of things to help stave off boredom.

- Study new matters that build on your present understanding.

- Set clear goals that might be at related to the assignment.

2. Enhance Your Management Abilities

Having true leadership abilities will, in all likelihood, be vital sometime in your existence. Now, not all of us are born leaders, but some easy suggestions taken from mental studies can help you improve your leadership capabilities.

One of the most famous research papers on this topic looked at three distinct management styles. Primarily based on the findings of this and subsequent studies, here are several tips for when you are in a management position:

- Offer clear steering but permit group contributors to voice opinions.

- Communicate possible answers to troubles with contributors in the group.

- Focus on stimulating ideas and praise creativity.

3. Be a Better Communicator

Conversation involves a whole lot more than just the way you speak or write. Research indicates that nonverbal indicators make up a big portion of our interpersonal communications.

Some key strategies encompass the following:

- Use proper eye contact.

- Start noticing nonverbal indicators in others.

- Use your tone of voice to boost your message.

4. Learn to Better Understand Others

Just like nonverbal communication, your capacity to comprehend your emotions and the feelings of those around you perform an essential role in your relationships and professional lifestyle. The term ‘emotional intelligence’ refers to your potential to comprehend each of your emotions in addition to those of other human beings.

What can you do to become more emotionally stable? Recall a few of the following techniques:

- Cautiously assess your own emotional reactions.

- Record your enjoyment and emotions in a journal.

- Try to see situations from the perspective of a different person.

5. Make Wise Choices

Studies in cognitive psychology supply a wealth of statistics about decision making. By making use of these techniques, you can discover ways to make wiser choices. Next time you have to make a huge decision, consider the following techniques:

- Try using the “Six Thinking Hats” technique, which involves seeing the situation from multiple points of view, including rational, emotional, intuitive, creative, advantageous, and dark.

- Recall the negatives and positives of each choice.

- Appoint a grid evaluation approach that offers a score for how a selected decision will fulfill unique requirements you may have.

6. Enhance Your Memory

Have you ever wondered why you can remember the precise information of childhood events yet forget the call of the new customer you met yesterday? Research on how we form new memories and how and why we forget has caused some of the findings that can be implemented without delay in your daily life.

What are some methods you can use to improve your memory?

- Develop an awareness of the data.

- Rehearse what you have discovered.

- Do away with distractions.

7. Make Wiser Financial Decisions

Nobel Prize-winning psychologist Daniel Kahneman and his colleague Amos Tversky performed a chain of research that looked at how humans manipulate uncertainty and danger while making decisions.

One study looks at how workers could more than triple their financial savings by making use of some of the following strategies:

- Don’t procrastinate. Start saving now.

- Commit earlier to dedicating your future profits to your retirement savings.

- Try to be aware of non-public biases that may result in dark money choices.

8. Get Higher Grades

The next time you are tempted to whine about pop quizzes, midterms, or finals, consider that research has confirmed that taking exams honestly helps you better consider what you have learned, even if the material in question wasn't on the test.

Studies discovered that repeated test-taking might be a higher memory aid than studying. College students who were tested again and again were able to remember 61% of the content while the ones within the control group recalled an average of 40%. How can you observe those findings to your lifestyles? When researching new data, test yourself frequently to cement what you have learned into your memory.

9. Become More Effective

It sometimes looks as if there are hundreds of books, blogs, and magazine articles telling us how to get more completed in an afternoon. But how much of this advice is based on real studies? As an example, think about the variety of times you have heard that multitasking can help you become more productive. Studies have discovered that trying to carry out multiple missions at the same time severely impairs pace, accuracy and productivity.

What lessons from psychology can you use to increase your productivity? Consider the following:

- Avoid multitasking while completing complicated or dangerous obligations.

- Focus on at the task at hand.

- Eliminate distractions.

10. Be Healthier

Psychology also can be a useful device for improving your day-to-day health. From approaches that encourage workouts and better nutrition to new remedies for depression, the sector of fitness psychology gives a wealth of beneficial strategies that can help you to be healthier and happier.

- Research has shown that both daylight and synthetic light can reduce the symptoms of seasonal affective disorder.

- Studies have demonstrated that exercise can contribute to better mental well-being.

- Studies have determined that helping people understand the dangers of bad behaviors can lead to healthier choices.

CHAPTER 3: DANGEROUS

DARK PERSONALITIES

What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the dark triad? Probably some fictional realm created by Hollywood, right? Well, this is a crucial concept that ties together all aspects of dark psychology. The dark triad, in a nutshell, is the theme that houses the three most destructive and harmful psychological personality traits known to man. In the following pages, we shall seek to bring these traits to light and better understand them for adequate preparation against them. By the time we are done, you will realize that all other themes of dark psychology stem from this same theme.

These traits are psychopathy, narcissism, and Machiavellianism. The majority of individuals will associate the description of a psychopath as a murderous person, and a narcissist as a human who is obsessed with themselves. There is, however, much more to these antisocial disorders than just the stereotypes. These concepts must be respected and understood for their power to become apparent.

Machiavellianism

This is a technique that traces its origins from the famous political philosopher known as Machiavelli. In his established work on influence and political power, The Prince, Machiavelli shares his ideas, principles, and tactics serve as a sort of blueprint for those individuals who might be seeking to understand influence throughout history. We then ask ourselves what this Machiavellian person is and how he comes about.

What puts this particular trait on the map is the manipulator's affinity to only focus on one's self-interest at all times, the exercise of ruthless power and cruelty, one's understanding of the importance of image. In a nutshell, Machiavellian individuals are people whose approach to life is widely strategic, meaning that their actions are usually well thought out and assessed. You may simply identify a Machiavellian by their speech, which often revolves around something like, “How will this benefit me, and how will this result impact my public reputation?”

Psychopathy

To tell you in black and white what psychopathy is would be difficult, but the fundamental definition of what psychopathy is, or rather who a psychopath is, is that particular individual who seems to be suffering from a type of psychological disorder that heavily involves a superficial charm, impulsivity and a lack of commonly held “human” emotions such as empathy and remorse. These psychopaths can be regarded as the most dangerous people on the face of the earth as they are the best examples of two-faced sons of bitches. Pardon my language. When most people hear the mention of a psychopath, the first image that usually comes to mind is of a haggard-looking individual wielding a machete and wearing a mask. But the reality is far from this.

They are most likely to be very handsome strangers who win over their victims by being just the right amount of charming before eventually ruining or even ending their victim’s lives. Surprisingly, based on a series of tests, experiments, and observations, it has been discovered that a large number of these individuals exist at the helm of the business world. The majority of people are just now beginning to view psychopathy as more of a problem to the whole of society. Psychopaths are usually programmed in such a way that they can survive in any field they chose to go into. This is mainly attributed to the indifferent views they have regarding normal human feelings of love, compassion, and so forth.

Narcissism

If you ask anyone who they think a narcissist is, I can bet that the most likely answer you is that of an individual who simply loves themselves. This is along the correct lines but not accurate enough, particularly when narcissism is viewed through the dark triad lens. You can have self-love without being a narcissist. What are some of the differences between a highly self-esteemed individual and someone selfish to the extent that they are regarded in the dark triad range? Someone who meets narcissism's medical diagnostic requirements, to the point that they are deemed to have a psychological disorder, is likely to display a variety of the following characteristics continuously:

They are usually have an inflated sense of self-worth, which manifests itself in several ways. These include seeing themselves as the most special and important person to have ever existed, believing themselves of a higher status than “normal people.” This behavior is often reflected in their sense of self-worth.

Sadism

Those who exhibit sadism enjoy hurting other people. Physical or mental, it does not matter—either is enjoyable for the sadist. These people will manipulate others just for the fun of it, and enjoy watching the fallout after the fact. For example, someone who constantly causes problems between friends, telling one friend one thing while telling the other friend the opposite just to cause issues and watch the fallout could be a sadist.

Characteristics of Dark Psychology Traits

Machiavellian

We know that a Machiavellian person is a political schemer who is obsessed with his public image. These individuals are considered the most cold-hearted in their pursuit of self-interest above all else. What then could be said about the behavior of these types of individuals? Due to their master level skill of masking their true intentions from the public eye, their behaviors can be hard to decipher.

For most individuals who do not fulfill Machiavellianism's clinical definition, their public persona is generally a reflection of their true personal self. Everyone polishes their image and conduct in public a little, but in general, the outward persona of most people is nothing more than a polished portrait of who they are. There is often have a fine line between what they truly are and the person they mold themselves to be in the public eye. Perhaps the best example to be given here is that of serial killers.

Examples of such a distinction between intent and appearance can be found in areas less extreme than serial murder. There are countless tales of business leaders who ruthlessly cut jobs and pursue profit over people whenever possible. In terms of Machiavellianism, the very best of these bosses can get individuals to buy into the idea that they are behaving by necessity or even compassion! Such leaders can become almost role models for those who only want to serve their wishes, while appearing to be a "person of the people."

A willingness to exploit people is another hallmark of Machiavellian individuals. Let us look at an example to have a better understanding of this. A newcomer in a particular office who possesses these Machiavellian traits would see each colleague, boss, or team member as a resource or piece of a puzzle to utilize. The Machiavellian person would see a sequence of strategic threats and weaknesses to handle, exploit, or neutralize instead of seeing others as fellow human beings. This is a big reason why Machiavellians are so conscious of how they are viewed. They understand that this outward depiction is the key to making an impact and effectively exploiting everybody they encounter.

Psychopathic

It is necessary to know how this group of individuals manifest themselves in order to detect them early and put up the necessary defenses against them. Charm is one of a psychopathic person's most prevalent behaviors. It must be understood that this charm is superficial rather than real. If you think of a genuinely charming individual from your lifetime, you will probably acknowledge that they have favorable characteristics that underpin outward behavioral displays. However, if an individual genuinely displays a charming personality as an expression of kindness, they should not be labeled as a psychopath.

Psychopaths can show all the outward indications of charm such as physical appeal, obvious warmth, and interest in others. The inward motive behind these outward displays is why it's such a red flag. Psychopaths see charm as part of an equation. The manipulator usually asks himself if displaying a particular emotion towards the victim will prove to be advantageous for themselves. They are very calculative people who are numb to normal human feelings.

Lying is another trait that makes psychopaths stand out. We all lie in our day-to-day lives. This doesn’t necessarily mean that we are all psychopaths. However, it can show a psychopathic personality when coupled with other characteristics.

A psychopath can convincingly present lies as reality. Also, psychopaths do not demonstrate outward indications of lying because they do not have any emotional attachment or emotions of shame, guilt, or excitement about their lies. Lying is just "doing what's required at the moment" for psychopaths.

Another signature aspect of psychopathy is a lack of impulse control. Most individuals have processes and internal controls that stop them from acting rashly. These mechanisms of prevention are lacking in a psychopath. If a psychopath sees a chance to exploit, they will act without hesitation. This may be murdering someone they want to kill, violating someone they want to rape, or stealing something they want to steal. This cruel impulsiveness makes psychopaths in areas such as the army some of the most dangerous individuals.

Narcissistic

One of the most prevalent characteristics in almost all narcissists is the fantasies of their absolute power and an elevated sense of importance. Most of these individuals lay blame on the constant praise they got as children while talking about these fantasies. As adults, these individuals will still demand praise from all around them since they have nurtured the feeling of being the most important of their peers to the maximum.

The inflated sense of self-worth experienced internally by narcissists also has consequences for their external reality. This typically manifests in two ways—the need for consent praise and criticism of rejection of hate. For the selfish ego, praise and consensus are like oxygen, while criticism and dissent are like poison.

Picture a dictator in a hermit state to comprehend what narcissism looks like when taken to its logical conclusion. Such individuals request worship from those over whom they have authority, statue building in their likeness, and full obedience and recognition. Any act of dissent or disagreement shall be punished quickly and brutally. North Korea is an ideal contemporary illustration of narcissism's extreme manifestation. That nation's rulers request god-like reverence and execute and torture anyone who even dares to convey a thought or concept that is not entirely consistent with the formal doctrine of the state.

CHAPTER 4: THE DARK TRIAD

AND DARK TETRAD

The Dark Tetrad is the name given to a "suite" of personality traits and their combinations that have been suggested to possess predictive qualities about adverse psychopathy-like behavior. The description is based on research on human psychology and the construct of psychopathy. The term "suite" indicates that the traits may be independent of one another yet related and not necessarily found together in all individuals who are characterized as having psychopathy.

Both psychologists and the general public have been fascinated by the dark side of human beings for ages. And the only thing that is common among these three traits is that there is a certain level of evil to all of them. These personality traits make it challenging to have a conversation with someone who exhibits them, or deal with them, in general. Things become disagreeable very quickly, and these people are usually very arrogant, volatile, and domineering.

Now, coming to the triad, the three constituents are as follows—psychopathy, narcissism, and Machiavellianism. The people who have these qualities often have a toxic personality, and having intimate relationships with them is not only complicated but also dangerous to the partner. The personality profiles of these people are created when the three qualities of the Dark Personality Triad overlap.

Here is an example that might help you understand better:

A woman was once the subject of identity fraud. All her financial instruments like the credit card and her bank accounts were compromised in the process. She lived with her boyfriend in an apartment where she had to pay monthly rent. Naturally, she was under a lot of stress as she was questioned regularly by the FBI, and this caused a tremendous amount of anxiety too. But even after all of this, the culprit couldn't be caught. But she thought that at least her boyfriend was with her in all of this. He was very supportive of her. He also took on the responsibility of paying monthly rent but from the money that the woman gave him. To cheer her up, he brought her gifts from time to time. After a few days, the landlord of the apartment called the woman. He informed her about all the rent that was overdue. It was at that moment that she realized that the actual culprit in all of this was her boyfriend. He was taking the money for the rent but spending it on gifts. She was in complete denial because this was a case of extreme gaslighting. She couldn't believe the fact that it was her lover who was doing this to her.

What Does the Dark Triad Mean?

So, let us have a more in-depth look into the Dark Triad and what it means. It was in the year 2002 when this term came into existence, and it was coined by Williams and Paulhus. You already know about the three characteristics that constitute this triad, but in this section, we will go into the details.

It is said that anyone who has the traits belonging to the Dark Triad is showing subclinical symptoms. If we simplify this, it means that the person is not fully suffering from ASPD—Anti-Social Personality Disorder—or NPD—Narcissistic Personality Disorder—but they are showing some symptoms.

You probably all have an idea of what narcissism means, but here is a simplified description of it—it is a state where the person has a feeling of grandiosity, superiority, or entitlement. The person simply thinks that they are superior to everyone around them, and they try to dominate everyone they meet. They are forever in the pursuit of ego gratification.

The principal characteristic of Machiavellianism is a manipulatory attitude. People who have this trait are always focused on their own gain in any circumstance whatsoever, and they always focus on their self-interest. They are also very duplicitous and calculating.

Lastly, if we are to explain psychopathy in simpler terms, then I would say that it is marked by bold behavior where the person is anti-social and repulsive and shows a lot of callousness.

What are the Characteristic Traits of People Belonging to the Dark Triad?

I have already explained the three traits of the Dark Triad separately, but it is time that you understand the overall traits of a person who belongs to the Dark Triad.

- Deception: The first characteristic that can be easily spotted in these people is their deceptive nature. They do not have any humility or honesty. They are greedy and are not sincere at all. When research was conducted on the three personality traits individually, it was found that all those with these traits tend to cheat on their partners or family members when they think they are not going to get caught. On the contrary, when the risk factors were high, it was found that Machiavellians and psychopaths continued to cheat. They are in the habit of continuous lying. On the other hand, if we are talking about narcissists, then instead of being dishonest intentionally, they are more prone to self-deception.

- Callousness: As you must have understood by now, people who belong to the Dark Triad lack empathy. Research was conducted focusing specifically on affective empathy. Affective empathy simply means the power to respond to the emotions of others properly. The research concluded that Dark Triad personalities lacked affective empathy as well. People with these personalities felt good when they looked at sad people. Similarly, they automatically became sad or angry whenever they saw someone who was positive or happy in their life. Psychopaths were also found to be happy whenever they saw someone in fear. Similarly, both psychopaths and narcissists were found to be happy when they saw the expression of anger on people's faces.

- Big Five Personality Test: This test focused on the qualities of openness, conscientiousness, agreeableness, neuroticism, and extraversion (Lewis R. Goldberg, 1992). Now, I just want to clarify something here because most people tend to get it wrong. Charisma and agreeableness are not the same things. Agreeableness is more like compliance, straightforwardness, and trustworthiness. All of these qualities are of the utmost importance when you want to form strong relationships. Conscientiousness was something that was found to be lacking in both psychopaths and Machiavellians. The level of neuroticism was the lowest in the case of psychopaths, and so that is how you conclude them to be the most sinister of all. When it came to extraversion, narcissists were the ones who excelled in this criterion, and that is quite predictable too.

Tips to Deal with People Who Have Dark Triad Traits

If you think that someone in your life has the traits belonging to the Dark Triad, it can be hectic dealing with them. You have to understand that the process is not easy, but it is possible with patience and the willingness to address these negative behaviors.

- Handle the Anger: The first step will be to manage their aggression because this is something that is very often seen in people belonging to the Dark Triad. If these situations are not controlled, they can easily defuse into something bigger. It is quite easy to spot when someone is angry, even if it means that they are showing signs of passive-aggressive behavior (ignoring you or sulking). You can talk to them or distance yourself from them for a while, or you can figure out where all of that rage is coming from.

- Don't Let Them Bully You: This is extremely important. It is not right or healthy if you have to withstand verbal or physical abuse. If you are in such a situation, you have to take a stand against it and take some action. Even if the abuse is indirect, for example, if the person is belittling you or criticizing you unnecessarily, you have to find a way to hold them accountable for their behavior.

- Identify the Manipulators: We will go into greater detail about identifying manipulators in the next part of the book. But for now, you should know that when someone's Machiavellianism traits take the upper hand, they become manipulators. They will always find some excuse or another for their hurtful behavior and try to make you say yes to things you don't want to do.

- Learn New Skills: Dealing with people with Dark Triad traits is no cakewalk, and so, you need special skills. It includes increasing your emotional intelligence, and you will learn about it in the latter part of this book. Once you acquire these skills, managing these people becomes easier, and you can spot any kind of unwanted behavior at once.

CHAPTER 5: MANIPULATION

AND DECEPTION

This chapter delves deeper into the world of dark manipulation and its cohort ‘deception.’ There is always a bit of deceit in every manipulation. We see manipulation every day, and we are familiar with manipulating circumstances to our advantage. Everyone manipulates in a small fashion here or there; it is part of the human condition. Parents are probably the guiltiest in this endeavor. My mother manipulated me into eating green veggies most of my life. But remember, intent always plays an essential role in any interaction. You should always be observant of what motivates this person to manipulate you. What do they want? Manipulations are not as destructive as long as there is balance. So, when does manipulation grow into deception-based manipulation?

If manipulation twists the truth, deception breaks it. Deception changes someone’s perception of reality with lies to some gain of the deceiver. This deception is where we enter the realm of dark psychology, and its first tools are deception and manipulation. Dark psychology refers to the skills of manipulation, deception, coercion, and dark persuasions that predators use to get what they want.

Covert Manipulation

There are many ways covert manipulation tactics can be used to keep power with the manipulator in a relationship. You could fill a stadium with all the tactics and skills out there, but these are the most common:

1. Love Flooding

The manipulator showers you with gifts, attention, compliments, and affection to the point that you are almost drowning. This love flooding creates and strengthens the bond between you. Remember, the manipulator is after power, always power, so giving you all of this love and attention, it will be tough for you to say ‘no’, and you will become dependent on it, as well as feel its absence when it is gone. These are tools to bind you to them and make you dependent and compliant.

2. No Love for You

Now that you are enticed by the romance and gifts, it is time to take that away. If you do not behave appropriately in a manipulator’s mind and abide by their rules, they will pull out or become absent altogether until you ‘earn’ their attention back. This restriction of love furthers your bond with them as you give up other things to pay special attention to them to win back their devotions.

3. Guilt is the Weapon

Manipulators will play upon your emotions and use passive-aggressive behavior. They will not quite confront or argue with you but rather leave subtle hints to get you to behave accordingly. Manipulators will use your empathy and feed it guilt and sarcasm to get you to do what they want.

4. Semantic Manipulation

Semantic manipulation refers to the manipulator saying words and then later saying they don’t share the same definition of those words as you do. In this way, they didn’t break the agreement because they simply had a different understanding of it. We all remember that Bill Clinton’s definition of “sexual relations” was not the same as the American public’s definition of “sexual relations,” so, in his mind, he did not commit what he was accused of because the descriptions didn’t match up.

5. Social Embarrassment/Mind Games

Social embarrassment is when you are in public with the manipulator, and they demonstrate their superiority through domination tactics to make you look simple or embarrass you. This mind game is part of taking down your self-esteem.

6. Gaslighting

Gaslighting is when you know that something occurred, and the other person immediately says “it is all in your mind,” or “that never happened” to make you doubt what you have seen or heard. Nothing rocks self-doubt like gaslighting. It makes you depend on the manipulator to interpret what you see and hear. This behavior is especially insidious and cruel.

Those with dark triad personality traits are not the only people that use covert manipulation. It is around us every day. We see it in politicians, lawyers, teachers, you name it. What I am getting at here is there is no real way to stop dark manipulation; the practice of these things isn’t illegal. Knowing about the tactics is only half the battle. The key is to not allow yourself to be manipulated and have the tools to fight back. Now, where does deception fit into this?

Deception

Deception is hidden behind a mask. It is hard to spot, and you must look at the intent as you receive the information. Deception is getting someone to accept something that is not their accurate belief. Deception has the victim believing in a false reality that the manipulator created.

Levels of Deception

1. Advanced. (Run). Advanced deception is used by psychopaths, serial killers, sociopaths, and others with a criminal mindset. They are skilled deceivers with years and years of practice and a persona that is quite likable because they can be whatever they need to be to get what they want. They are social chameleons. They have no problem using you for whatever purpose they need and have no empathy for how you feel about it. This group contains smooth operators that can navigate your emotions as if they live in your head. They are mastery level ninjas at the abuse techniques. If you feel that someone is in your head, they usually are.

2. Above Average. (Run). This group contains narcissists, those with personality disorders, and love-them-and-leave-them types (without the love). They have an established record of using covert manipulation to get what they want; however, you will not know about it because they are very good at hiding who they really are. Their reality is a bit off, and they want to pull you in with them to see things the way that they do. They are also fans of abusive techniques and have little to no empathy for how you feel about things.

3. Slightly Above Average. (Proceed with caution). These are usually people who have personality traits that lead to deception. They typically don’t know that they are behaving deceptively. They don’t seem to connect with why their actions would be considered deceptive. When these deceivers are wrong, they will argue strictly from a place of emotion rather than logic because they understand they can get their way by merely exhausting the person they are talking with. Slightly above-average deceivers are incredibly persistent.

4. Average. (The usual suspects). This group includes the average, everyday Joe. For example, teenage rebels trying to create autonomy and get away with as much as possible. Defiant people fall into this category. They like identifying as rebels, so their deception is far more apparent. They are not nearly as skilled as the advanced or above average deceivers and are usually spotted reasonably quickly if you are looking.

Knowing these levels of deception, you help you to recognize what you are dealing with. The University of Florida created a Dirty Dozen rating scale that is a 12-point methodology test that measures the personality traits of the dark psychology triad. The higher the score, the more likely the person is to have those personality traits.

We have established how emotional intelligence can play a significant role in progressing yourself and others in the workplace and other areas of life. The Dark Triad operates in direct conflict to that, setting out to unravel everything accomplished through positive goals and twisting it with greed, bullying, and self-indulgence.

Michael Douglas in Wall Street is the epitome of a selfish wolf chanting ‘Greed is Good.’ He doesn’t care who he takes down, and any relationship with him is toxic. The movie is fantastic and a must-see, but the character he plays is lethal to any business or association.

Remember, these types of people hide who they are and can operate with extreme efficiency, damaging relationships within the workplace and other areas of life. If you see this type of behavior, it should be dealt with quickly before the wolf's teeth are allowed to sink in.

CHAPTER 6: MANIPULATIVE

PERSONALITIES

You may wonder; what are manipulators trying to do? Why do they put so much work into manipulating others instead of just focusing on improving themselves?

The fact is, manipulators have a deep-seated psychological need to control others, and they seek to "weaken" their victims to gain dominance over them. When they manipulate others, they are trying to erase their willpower, to destroy their self-esteem, to seek passive-aggressive revenge against them, or to confuse their reality so that they become more malleable. Let’s look at how and why manipulators do those four things.

Cancellation of Willpower

It’s because of our willpower that we can retain control over our lives and resist people’s attempts to dominate us and force us to do their bidding. That is why one of the primary intentions of manipulative people is to obliterate our willpower.

So, how can someone take away your willpower? Well, first, you have to understand that willpower isn’t unlimited. We can lose our willpower through a process that psychologists refer to as "ego depletion." To understand this, think of willpower as a resource that can only be renewed at a slow pace. So, if we spend that resource on one thing, we have less of it to spend on another thing that demands it. So, ego depletion occurs when we spend all the willpower that we have, and we are left without adequate willpower in the face of subsequent challenges.

Manipulative people know that willpower doesn’t come from a bottomless pit, so they tend to overload us with scenarios where we are forced to use our willpower until it gets depleted. For example, a malicious person may keep trying to agitate you while you keep trying to stay calm and keep your cool. However, if he keeps doing it for a prolonged period, chances are you will get to a point where you snap and react with anger.

Psychologists believe that willpower is like a muscle; it gets stronger when you exercise it, but during the moment of exertion, it can fail if it’s pushed past a certain point. Malicious people can erase your willpower by forcing you to overexert it.

Willpower makes it possible for us to make the right decisions in the face of serious temptation or pressure. It’s what makes us spend time studying for an exam instead of watching videos online. Without willpower, we become highly suggestible, and people can get us to do their bidding with little resistance.

Ego depletion is sometimes also referred to as "decision fatigue." The idea behind this concept is that the more decisions we make, the more tired we become, and as a result, we are unable to make good decisions. When manipulative people put us in situations where we have to keep making decisions, they can eventually wear us out.

Several other factors have been known to destroy willpower. The first one is scarcity. When something is scarce, we are tempted to act in a more impulsive way to acquire it, abandoning our principles in the process. For instance, when you are hungry, you might be forced to abandon the “thou shalt not steal” principle just to feed yourself.

People who are adept at emotional manipulation can chip away at your willpower by introducing the element of scarcity. For example, when a person gives you the silent treatment, she is essentially withholding human interaction and affection, thus making it a scarcity for you. This increases the likelihood that you will abandon your stand and comply with her request.

Another way to cancel someone’s willpower is by threatening their wellbeing or livelihood. Malicious people can compromise your willpower by doing things that jeopardize your job, your relationships, or your happiness. When a colleague does something that puts your job security in jeopardy, or if your partner does something that makes your life a living hell, you will become somewhat desperate, and at that moment, your willpower is more likely to be compromised, leading you to either surrender or do something detrimental to yourself.

Stress is another factor that can cause the depletion of one's willpower. When we are constantly stressed, our minds are filled with worries that cloud our judgment, and we end up making bad decisions. Malicious people will work both overtly and covertly to introduce stressors into our lives, hoping that the resultant stress will take up all our energy, and we will be left more susceptible to their manipulation.

When manipulators succeed in canceling our willpower, they gain the power to control us and tell us what to do. We will start deferring our judgment to them, and we will lose our identities.

Destroy Self-Esteem

Apart from depleting your willpower, malicious people also want to destroy your self-esteem. Unfortunately, there are dozens of different ways that they can do this. In as much as we try to draw our self-esteem from within, the fact remains that as social beings, we put a lot of stock in what other people say about us, and that is where manipulative people draw their strength.

Manipulators can chip away at your self-esteem by using carefully worded phrases aimed at attacking and belittling you. Their words are usually carefully calculated to either upset you or confuse you so that you spend a lot of time thinking about what they mean. We have already looked at the kinds of manipulative techniques that can cause you to start questioning yourself or thinking that your own emotions aren’t valid.

Manipulators also chip away at your self-esteem by continually blaming you for all sorts of problems. When someone keeps telling you that certain things are your fault, a seed of self-doubt will start growing in you, and as this idea is reinforced, you will get to a point where you start internalizing the person’s criticism, and this ruins your self-esteem.

Sometimes, manipulative people can pass the blame onto you without even saying a word. When something bad happens, they’ll give you a look that says everything you need to know about how they feel, and even in the absence of an accusation, you will start questioning yourself.

Another way manipulative people destroy your self-esteem is by flooding you with negative information. We all know that self-esteem can be affected by the company we keep. If we surround ourselves with negative people, and they keep saying bad things, we start internalizing those things. Manipulative people, especially Machiavellians, can dupe us by feeding us negative information.

For example, a colleague at work could keep pouring cold water on all your ideas until you get to a point where you start believing that you can’t get things done. In relationships, manipulators can destroy your self-esteem by neglecting you emotionally until you start thinking that you don’t deserve love and affection.

Manipulative people can also destroy your self-esteem by feeding your fears. Once they discover that you have certain fears, they’ll start nurturing those fears in you so they can use them against you. The more afraid we are, the more our self-esteem diminishes.

Manipulative people like it when their victims have low self-esteem, for many reasons. You have probably heard the saying that if you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything. That is what manipulators are counting on. They know that if you don't have a strong view of yourself, they can gain the power to control how you view yourself. If you start doubting who you are, they'll take over and create a version of you that they can push around.

Manipulators also know that when we have low self-esteem, we become very agreeable because we want to please other people to gain some positive attention and win the approval of others. They want their victims to turn into people-pleasers, and they want to put themselves at the center of the victims’ lives so that they are the ones benefiting from it.

At work, manipulators may want to destroy your self-esteem to make you feel like you are not up to the job so they can climb over you on their way to the top. If they can’t completely convince you that that you are a loser, they’ll settle for making you so afraid of failure that you are unable to gather the strength to compete with them.

Manipulators may also want to destroy your self-esteem so you are unable to maintain your boundaries, and they can get in and take advantage of you. Like we have mentioned, when your self-esteem is destroyed, you are unable to stand up for what you believe in, so you can’t enforce your principles. You may feel like you don’t even have the basic right to assert your preferences, so manipulators will be at liberty to walk all over you.

Passive-Aggressive Revenge

If you have ever slighted a narcissistic person, a sadist, or a psychopath in any way, they are probably holding some sort of grudge against you, and they may manipulate you because they want to get even.

Now, ordinary people hold grudges or go after each other for clear reasons that both parties are aware of. However, people with dark personality traits can target you for pretty much any reason, as long as it makes sense to them. There is no logical threshold that you have to meet for them to set their sights on you. They could hold a grudge for years because of a statement that you made in passing. They could make you their target because your boss complimented you instead of them. They could even target you because of deep psychological issues that even they cannot comprehend.

For instance, a psychopath may seek to victimize you and destroy your life because you look like the girl who rejected him way back when he was a teenager. The point is, you don’t have to do anything specific for a malicious person to decide to seek passive-aggressive revenge against you. It’s possible that you just have the misfortune of reminding them of a mean parent, or in the case of Machiavellians, it could just be that you are in their way, and they have to destroy you to get ahead. It could also be that they think you are weak, and therefore you are an easy target for them.

CHAPTER 7: PERSONALITY

TRAITS OF VICTIMS

According to George Simon, a psychology writer, there are distinct qualities that define a manipulative person. If someone possesses these traits, their chances of being successful manipulators are extremely high. In the same way, if one lacks these traits, they cannot use other people to attain their selfish goals. I bet this is one of those qualifications none of us want!

According to Simon, a successful manipulator must:

- Have the ability to hide their aggressive nature and intentions from the public, especially their potential targets.

- Have the ability to identify the vulnerable aspects of their potential victims in order to decide which approach to use for efficient manipulation.

- Have an extraordinary level of ruthlessness that enables them to overcome the qualms that might arise from the harm they cause to their subjects. Cruelty can be emotional or physical.

As we can see, the first trait that a manipulator needs to successfully influence other people is the ability to cover up their aggressive intentions and behaviors. Imagine if they went around talking about their dark secrets and plans – nobody would dare to befriend them for fear of being manipulated. Due to this, the manipulator develops a camouflage that hides their thoughts and plans from other people, ending up appearing normal. Often, the victim walks into the trap with the least suspicion. The oppressor will come off as a Good Samaritan, a best friend, or a random person acting sweet. By the time the target becomes suspicious, the manipulator already has enough information to successfully coerce them as they please.

Next, the controller must have the skill to observe and determine the vulnerable traits of their victims. This is a typical proverb application that if you must cut down a tree, you better take your time to sharpen your ax. From the identified weak points, they can decide on the best approach to effectively manipulate them. At times, the manipulator will use observation to identify the vulnerabilities, while in others, they need to interact with their subjects for a certain period.

The final trait is that ruthlessness must be applied. It would be pointless for the manipulator to put in the work required in the above steps only to start worrying about what their victims will feel or what will happen to them. If they cared about anyone at all, they would not come up with these plans in the first place. The manipulator ignores any emotional or physical harm that may occur to the victim. To them, what matters is that they achieve their end goals.

From these three traits, we can tell why manipulators succeed most of the time. The amount of planning and trickery they use is bound to catch anyone off guard. Due to this, the subject will not be quick to realize that they are in the middle of a manipulative process until the effects begin to show up. They might assume that the oppressor wishes them well, making them drop all defenses. By the time they come to their senses and want to get out, they are already stuck.

The Behaviors of Manipulative People

We already know the traits that define a manipulative person. These are the requirements that one needs to possess before being a potential manipulator. Let us discuss a few of them.

1. Reinforcing

In psychology, reinforcement is a stimulus, positive or negative, that increases or strengthens the probability of a certain outcome. When we talk of positive reinforcement, it is a tactic that a manipulator will use in public to pick their subjects. The manipulator will fake some moves such as loud laughter, random smiles, giving gifts, crocodile tears, excess apologies, exaggerated praise, and temporary charm, to mention but a few. Positive reinforcement places the manipulator above random strangers and draws attention to them. The point of fake behavior is to make people want to befriend them. Often, if a person offers us a gift or starts a friendly chat, our minds immediately soften, and we want to return the favor. If we find an innocent-looking lady crying by herself at the park, we genuinely want to know how we can help. Unbeknownst to us, some of these people are out there hunting for victims.

In negative reinforcement, the manipulator will offer to “rescue” the victim from a negative situation if they agree to do something in return. For example, a teacher might offer to grant a student pass grades after they have failed if the student offers sex in return. This is a tricky situation because the victim is usually in a fix, and at times, the offer by the manipulator might be their only way out.

There is also intermittent reinforcement. This is a behavior where the manipulator creates a climate of doubt, hope, and fear. The victim, caught up in a maze of hope and doubt or fear, falls into a dilemma. Take gambling at the casino for an example. The odds at any game are set that in as much as the gambler will lose some money, they will have intermittent wins in between the losses to blind them. If they take the bait, they continue playing for extended periods and only realize they have been on a losing streak when their funds dry up. In the same way, a manipulator will throw regular rewards at the victim while manipulating them so they can keep them long enough to achieve their goals.

2. Rationalizing

Rationalization is the act of making up excuses to make one appear innocent. Even if a manipulator were caught red-handed in the act of negatively influencing others, they would not accept it. Instead, they would come up with convincing reasons as to why they committed the act. In most cases, they claim to have been trying to help the victims.

3. Punishing

Punishing, in this case, is not necessarily the use of a cane to flog someone. It is a method of control where the manipulator will deploy a set of behaviors to influence the victim. Some of these punishment tactics include the silent treatment, playing the victim, nagging, yelling, crying, threatening, and sulking, among others. These actions aim to make the victim feel guilty for something they might not have done. If the victim plays along, they start apologizing, throwing themselves deep into the manipulator’s trap.

4. Minimizing

Minimization is a combination of denial and rationalization. If caught, they defend themselves by stating that their behavior is not as negative as it appears. We have all met people who throw bad-tasting jokes at us, only to claim that they were mere jokes and should be taken lightly.

5. Explosiveness

Explosive behavior, also known as traumatic one-trial learning, is the act where the manipulator will throw tantrums at the slightest provocation. The sudden reactions, which might include verbal abuse and explosive anger, are meant to discourage the subject from upsetting, confronting, or contradicting the oppressor. Beneath the skin, the manipulator is playing a game of dominance, intimidation, and superiority over the victim.

6. Diverting Issues

When a manipulator is asked a question, especially ones related to their conduct, they are excellent at diverting the question. Instead of giving real or straight-to-the-point answers, they give confusing responses. They aim to distract from the question, especially if it might expose their negative behavior. In most cases, they will respond vaguely then come up with a diversion tactic such as introducing another topic, asking a question of their own, or exploding.

7. Lying

Manipulators are masters at telling lies. Because their intentions and actions are generally unpleasant, they know that nobody would fall for them if they were to tell the truth. As such, they come up with lies. The lies that they fabricate are so complex that it is usually impossible to tell when they are false or not. While the truth might ultimately come out, it will usually be too late for the victim to respond. A manipulator will use any form of lies to convince their subjects and get their way.

8. Intimidation

A manipulator likes to keep their victims on the defensive or in fear. They pile threats and blame on the victim so it appears that the victim is at their mercy. Whenever the victim tries to get away from them, they are threatened, forcing them to obey the manipulator. No doubt you have heard of relationships where either of the lovers threatens to leak indecent photos of their partner if they try to walk out or report them. This is a common form of intimidation that is aided by the wide use of the internet.

9. Lying by Omission

Omission lying is closely related to lying, only that in the latter, everything the manipulator says is a lie. In omission lying, though, the controller will tell a truthful idea but omit important issues that needed to be highlighted. This is a form of manipulation that many parents are victims of today. A good example is when a child requests money to buy some treats but end up buying drugs with the money. In this case, the child told the truth about needing money to buy “treats” while, in reality, the treats were drugs. If the parent knew the real intent of the child, they would not have given them the money.

10. Denial

The whole life of a manipulator is lived in denial. They never see things for what they are, because if they did, they would have to face the bitter fact that their lives are messy. One of the reasons that a person will be okay with invading others’ lives and destroying them is because they hate their own. Another behavior that is common with manipulators is that they will refuse to take responsibility for anything, regardless of whether there is evidence or not. They will reverse the blame and place it on the subject.

11. Playing the Victim

The final behavior we will discuss, which is common in manipulators, is playing the victim. No matter how ruthless these people can get, they always make the world think they are oppressed, despite being the oppressors. This method usually works in their favor because when they appear hurt, they easily evoke feelings of pity, sympathy, and compassion. The majority of people in the world are willing to help others who are suffering, and manipulators are fond of exploiting such people and using them to further their plans.

CHAPTER 8: EMOTIONAL

MANIPULATION TACTICS

Emotions are a core part of our existence as human beings. Regardless of the attempts made by most of us to construct a persona that is tough and formidable in this dog-eat-dog world, we still feel things. All of us do. And many people find themselves making decisions based more on their emotional states than hard, logical rationalization. It is this propensity that emotionally manipulative people exploit through several tactics, strategies, and techniques.

The most potent emotional manipulation techniques are covert; that is, they are designed in such a way that they change your behavior, character, and attitudes without you realizing it. They are underhanded methods that operate so deeply that they often penetrate your consciousness, burrowing so deep that they reach your subconscious. Don’t be fooled by individuals who are charming and likable around you. They could be your boss, a coworker, a friend, or even a relative, and your interactions with them could seem as normal as with any other person – but be on high alert.

Even harmless-seeming behavior can be very toxic. For instance, you may have a friend with whom you find it difficult to share negative feelings that you’re having or worries that keep you awake at night. This may be because this friend always projects a conscious positivity on everyone around her and maybe even frowns when you mention something negative around her like you’re staining her vibe or dampening everyone’s spirit. Your natural reaction may be to view this trait as positive or helpful. This friend is trying to make you focus on only the good stuff because, you know, life is too short to spend time complaining about bad things that may be out of your control anyway.

However, if you scrutinize this scenario deeply, you’ll realize the intense manipulation that is happening underneath it all. Because of this friend, you find it difficult to speak your mind and express the things you truly feel. Incredibly enough, this exterior of eternal positivity may simply be a coping mechanism for this person, but because of their quest for mental and emotional stability, they box you into your headspace so they can feel good within themselves. That’s manipulation.

Emotional manipulation exists in so many forms and can be employed through various techniques. Below are seven major emotional manipulation strategies.

Negative Reinforcement

Have you been in a scenario where someone did something to you that they knew you didn’t like? At this point, did you feel the urge to do something to them that they wouldn’t want in return? The guiding law behind this is that the manipulator understands that if they do something you wouldn’t like as payback for what you have done, chances become higher that you will do something that favors them in the future.

Imagine a sibling who lets you use his car for a side hustle on the weekend. This sibling then does something that hurts you and, angry, you go for happy hour drinks at the bar without him. This sibling then becomes cold, refusing to let go of his car keys until you apologize and do something he likes, such as promising a larger cut of the pay you earn from using his car, or doing his laundry.

The trick is straightforward. The manipulator knows that if they persist with their hurtful actions, you’ll give in eventually and do what they want. This way, they not only get you to do what they like; they further increase the likelihood that you’ll do similarly in the future.

Premature Disclosure

Say you work in an office, and a new associate joins the team. As a professional, you want to be careful about the kinds of conversations you have in the workplace and are very skeptical of non-work-related conversations. This new associate, however, having heard that you’re the best on the team in a specialty that could greatly enhance her output, comes to you and engages you in an unexpected conversation. She invites you for coffee during lunch and then opens up to you about an intimate matter. She tells you personal stories and opens up about her dreams, goals, fears, embarrassments, likes, and dislikes. You are taken aback, shocked that someone you just met could let you in on matters so personal, but this false gesture of intimacy moves you, and you feel the burden of trust that she has placed on you become heavy on your shoulders.

This is what the manipulator is counting on. You are scared about opening up, but because she has exhibited such vulnerability toward you, you decide that it wouldn’t hurt to tell her a few things. You are at first skeptical that she may not understand your perspective or accept your stories at face value, but she does, even going further to say that she has experienced similar things and feels the same way you feel.

What this manipulator has done, however, is build a false connection. She could have also done this by trying to impress you with her accolades and achievements so you see her as a worthy and valuable colleague. Ultimately, however, all she wants is to exploit this make-believe “relationship” to call in special favors with you on that expertise that only you possess.

Guilt

The capacity to feel guilt is a symbol that you still have a conscience. In your drive to remain a good person, you will make mistakes and feel guilty about this. Because guilt is a negative emotion with close ties to shame and anxiety, it can be very uncomfortable, but this doesn’t make it a weakness. It is a part of you. It only becomes a problem when emotional manipulators use it to control you.

As family, society, religion, and many other forms of moral instruction have taught you to feel guilt, especially when you feel like you have harmed someone through your actions or/and inactions, manipulators seize this cow and milk it to death. When you feel guilty, you want to get back in a good place with the offended party, usually using an apology or making amends. Manipulators divert this need for penance to make you do their bidding. Because your thought process has become clouded by guilt, you are instead focused on fixing things, and you fail to see that the manipulator is making you do something that you don’t want to.

Empty Words

Many emotional manipulators are skilled with the use of their tongues. They can build castles in the skies and take you across the galaxies, all through their words. These manipulators realize that most individuals have an inbuilt desire for verbal approval. People like to be told that they are loved, admired, respected, and appreciated. By using empty words to fill this need, manipulators get you to lower your guard so they can take over the reins of your life.

It’s not just enough for someone to tell you that they love you. If their actions don’t show this love, then there’s a problem. Chances are this person is merely inflating your head so you do what they want you to do. If you’re ever confused about someone’s true intentions, judge the person solely based on their actions. You’ll have your answer.

Gaslighting

If you’re in a relationship where you apologize all the time, feel endlessly bewildered or withdrawn, or find yourself having trouble making decisions, you may be a victim of gaslighting.

With gaslighting, the manipulator denies your perception so strongly that you begin to doubt your ideas and feelings. By denying an obvious reality, they render it invalid. Something happens, and they tell you it never did, or that it’s all in your head, or that your memory is playing tricks on you, or they even go as far as to question where you got the idea. By doing this, they undermine your understanding of events and perception of reality to the point where you begin questioning your sanity.

Gaslighting should be apparent to most folk, but because expert manipulators tend to start small and increase its severity over time, and also couple it with other subtle manipulation tactics, victims’ perceptions are questioned so frequently and severely that they lose all trust in their perceptions. They lose the capability to function independently, relying on the manipulator’s definitions of reality. At this stage, the manipulator has already won. Having rubbished every ounce of self-esteem in the victim, the manipulator finds it easy to exercise complete domination.

Rationalization

A man hits his wife only to come around minutes later to issue the following apology: “I’m so sorry I hit you. You just hit so many buttons, and I lost control. I’m sorry.”

The above seems perfectly sincere and heartfelt but could very much be the words of an emotional manipulator. As humans, when we love or trust people, we always want to see them in the best possible light. As a result, even when they do the wrong things, as long as they come up with an explanation that makes some level of sense and tugs at a few heart strings, we will most likely overlook what they have done. Manipulators use this to their advantage.

Although what they have done is wrong, they find a justification that sounds logical and rational, so their bad behavior is minimized till it doesn’t seem so bad anymore, and so that they can get you to stop talking about it and move on.

Creating Fear

You may observe this trait, especially with manipulative individuals close to you, such as family members or lovers. These individuals know how much you cherish the relationship you have with them and how special they are to you, so they’ll use this to get you to do what they want. By sowing the idea in your mind that they will terminate their relationship with you or dilute it if you take certain actions, they manipulate you into doing things that you would not naturally do.

The fear of loss is a powerful fear that nobody wants to relive. As a result, the strategy of creating fear works in keeping you right where the emotional manipulator wants you to be. What makes it worse is that, in this scenario, the person who created the fear is the same person who can relieve you of it, putting all the power in their hands automatically.

Emotional manipulators come in many shades and guises and employ techniques vaster than the number presented above. The guiding idea here, however, is for you to develop an understanding of their techniques and strategies and understand that they could be anyone. Who knows, you may have been a victim of emotional manipulation for years without even knowing it. Now, you have all that you need to cut the puppet strings and rewrite the narrative.

CHAPTER 9: MIND

CONTROL/BRAINWASHING

Defining Brainwashing

Brainwashing refers to thought reform. It involves several different techniques that, over time, sway a person to change their very thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and core beliefs. They change so much that they have essentially lost their ability to make free choices; they become obedient. The techniques that cause the change can vary greatly, but as a general rule, when brainwashing occurs, it is typically combined with some sort of danger and threat, with force frequently used.

Brainwashing is essentially the gradual process of replacing the ideas of a victim with new ideas that should adapt to a manipulator’s own needs. Often, brainwashing occurs when people believe they are being called for a higher purpose such as joining a terrorist organization. Most believe that brainwashing is a Hollywood fiction of someone who continually imposes certain concepts on their victims, and within a short period, the person becomes the manipulator for every bidding. More realistically, it is a process that generally changes an individual's perception of reality far from what they orginially had; a very gradual but voluntary process. The fundamental trick is to make the victim feel as though they are always in control.

The Process of Brainwashing

The starting point of brainwashing is the social circumstances and the mental state of the victim. These elements are the foundation for the rest of the process, and if the manipulator is not able to figure this part out, then the brainwashing won’t be successful. Brainwashing is not a process that is going to work on everyone. It requires the identification of a person who has a void they are trying to fill.

This brings us to an important point. Who is the ideal victim for a brainwasher? People who have had their existing reality shaken up because of recent events are great targets for brainwashers. If you have lost someone you are close to or had another dramatic or traumatic event in your life, then you may be more susceptible to brainwashing.

Once the brainwasher has found their victim, either through the Internet or in person, the process of brainwashing can begin. Contrary to the popular image you may have in your mind about a brainwasher, this person will often come across as rational, friendly, and calm. Someone who seems to have their life together in a way the victim wishes they could have their own. Imagine how it would feel if you were homeless and a celebrity you admired befriended you. This is often how the process of meeting the brainwasher will feel for the victim.

The brainwasher will get to work right away. The first step for them is to create a level of rapport and trust between themselves and the victim. This will be done by identifying both superficial and deep similarities. The superficial similarities could involve some surface-level preferences, something like enjoying the same food or sport as the other person.

They will then move on to a deeper level of rapport, possibly involving a deeper shared experience that they had in the past. The brainwasher will most likely convincingly fake this to create these bonds. So, if the victim shares with the brainwasher that they lost a close relative in the past, then the brainwasher is all of a sudden going to have a story that is similar to share with the victim.

This false connection and emotional warmth are not the only things that are going to occur. The brainwasher wants to cement the new bond as quickly as possible. It is not uncommon for them to provide favors and gifts for their victim. They could send them a gadget or some other item they may find useful. They may treat the victim to a meal. The point of doing this is to create a sense of gratitude and indebtedness from the victim to the brainwasher. This will soften up a lot of the resistance that the victim may experience.

After the resistance has been stripped away a bit, the next step is a sort of utopian presentation. This involves the brainwasher slowly and increasingly offering a solution to all the problems that the victim previously opened up about. This is not going to be a big hard push or sell. Rather, the brainwasher knows how to do this in an offhand and casual way to make sure they don’t deal with any negative experiences by pressing the victim. This solution is always going to be the personality, ideology, or cult that the brainwasher is working to make the victim convert to.

When these steps are done properly, the victim will be left wanting more; more information and more understanding of the solution that the brainwasher has hinted at. The brainwasher may even withhold some of this information in the beginning, treating it as something that the victim needs to work to attain. The point of doing this is to motivate the victim to seek out and accept the information they are eventually going to hear.

After the victim has had some time being spoon fed snippets of this belief system, and they have shown they will respond well to them, the brainwasher will carefully reveal the right information at the right time. This is a concept called a gradual revelation or “milk before meat.” It includes the presentation of an easy-to-accept idea before the controversial idea is revealed.

For example, if the brainwasher is trying to convert the victim over to religious terrorism, they would not start with the terrorism part. They may initially focus on the fact that God loves the victim, something that the victim is likely to accept. The more objectionable ideas, such as God wants you to blow yourself up, are ones that are saved until much later in the process. Once the victim has accepted that last part, then this brainwashing session is at a point of no return.

At this point, you may be curious as to why the victim is still engaging with the brainwasher, especially when these more objectionable ideas start to become apparent. There are three main reasons:

- The vulnerable victim has been worked on by the brainwasher. They feel a strong sense of liking toward the brainwasher, and they want to get their approval.

- The victim has invested time, and in some cases, money, in the process up to this point. This is often known as the sunk cost fallacy. The victim is going to feel like it is a bad idea to throw away all the hard work and money they have put into the process.

- During this process, the brainwasher has been amassing a lot of sensitive and secretive information on the victim. They are often willing to hold this information over the victim to keep them on the right path.

Undetectable Mind Control

The truth can be a destroyer of illusions. This is why it can be hard to hear, and you can use this fact to your advantage. You have heard about the law of attraction. If you think it, you attract it. That is the basic premise. Now, whether this works or not remains unseen, but you can modify this tactic to persuade others.

The first step is making sure that you have full control over your mind. This allows you to think efficiently and gain a greater understanding of how the human mind works. You must understand this before you can control the mind of another person without being detected. The following tips will help you gain control over your mind first:

- Identify the troubles in your mind and sort them out.

- Go into controlling your mind with a plan.

- When working on this, be calm because it ensures an open mind.

- Still your visceral responses.

- Relax your muscles.

- Utilize breathing exercises and meditation to get deeper into your mind.

- Sense the physical symptoms that come with your thoughts.

- Evaluate all of your thoughts for a source and reason.

Once you do this, you will know what all of your thoughts mean, and you can control them. Once you master controlling your mind, you will be able to seamlessly control the minds of others without being detected.

Mind Control in Society

You see mind control every day, and you have even fallen victim to it when is is used in advertising and marketing. For example, you see a television commercial that captures your attention. The product is not one you need, but the commercial captured your mind and essentially told you on a subconscious level that you need the product. So, you go and buy it. You had no idea your mind was being controlled. You probably did not realize it until reading this section right now.

When you master undetectable mind control, you will essentially be marketing yourself. The result will not be others buying you but giving you what you want.

Undetectable Mind Control Techniques

There are several techniques that you will use when you are working to control the minds of others. All of these are relatively simple to implement once you have gained control over your mind.

Think for Them

When you need something from someone, do not give them a chance to think it over. Tell them what they are thinking and what they are going to do. People are naturally busy and if you ask them to consider something, they are likely to either forget or not give it enough thought to give you your desired outcome. When you help them not have to think, they view it as if you are helping them, making them more likely to give you what you want.

Ask for an Inch

When you are assessing how easy a person is to control, you want to take baby steps so that they never catch on to what you are doing. So, start with small things first, such as asking them to buy you a drink or making them take you to a movie. From here, you can persuade them to do larger things, such as paying a bill for you or buying you something on the pricey side. It is all about testing the waters and essentially priming your target.

Give Some Too

If all you do is take, no matter how naïve a person is, they are going to eventually catch on to what you are doing. So, on occasion, buy them a drink, compliment them or offer to pay for the movie. This makes the relationship seem balanced and even, but what you are doing is ensuring that they continue to be available for whatever you need from them.

CHAPTER 10: NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING

Neuro-linguistic programming is a system of education and training based on an understanding of developmental, behavioral, and cognitive psychology. Education and training in NLP focus on three aspects of human psychology: the neurological system, which regulates the physical functioning of the human body; language function, which determines how we interact with other people; and “programming,” a term used to describe the beliefs, knowledge, and experiences we accumulate over time that together inform our worldview and determine how we behave.

NLP was originally founded in the 1970s by John Grinder and Richard Bandler. The theories behind their work are based on both the scientific study of linguistics, sociology, and political science, as well as New Age mysticism and the self-improvement movement that also began in the 1970s. Specifically, their claim that the “map is not the territory,” as a way of describing the disconnection between our subjective perception of the world and reality itself is taken directly from the work of Alfred Korzybski, who founded the school of general semantics in 1933.

They also reference Gregory Bateson’s work detailing the conflict between flaws in societal and governmental systems and how these can cause problems in human communication and government. Finally, the work of Noam Chomsky, whose theories of transformational and universal grammar linked the important influence language function has in areas as seemingly unrelated as world government and politics, is one of the primary theories used to support claims that NLP therapy can transform the lives of its followers.

NLP is also influenced by many non-scientific movements, including the mystical writings of Carlos Castenada. Many sociologists have categorized NLP not only as pseudo-science but also as a quasi-religion that belongs to the large sphere of New Age and/or Human Potential movements. Some have criticized NLP as a form of folk magic that borrows the language and theories of science and medicine to validate completely non-scientific practices.

Carlos Castaneda wrote a series of novels in the 1970s portraying the power of shamanism among the indigenous tribes of North America, and many of the NLP modeling techniques borrow directly from Castaneda’s novels, including “double induction” and “stopping the world.” NLP behavior modification techniques based on modeling and the use of NLP language coaching use mimetics similar to the rituals of many New Age syncretic religions.

There is a basic philosophical assumption underlying all of the human potential and self-improvement programs that originated during the time NLP was developed. Objectivism is a philosophy based on the understanding that reality is a fundamental, physical fact—the material world that surrounds us is an objective reality, and we can come to an understanding of this reality through our senses. More importantly, objectivism insists that reality is the same for everyone because it is objective. Though individual perceptions may differ, the objective reality does not.

The philosophies upon which NLP is based take a radically different approach and may be regarded as subjectivism. The basic theory is that each of us is incapable of knowing, because we all perceive the world subjectively, filtered by what we have learned from previous experiences and cultural and traditional learning. Also, the part of the world we live in is governed by laws and customs we have come to know as “true.” But these laws and customs differ from one geographical location to the next and from one demographic group to the next. Thus, for each of us, the world is limited because we can only perceive it from a limited and subjective perspective.

According to the founders of NLP, your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs are not things that exist; they are things you have learned to do. Because we have spent so many years of our lives learning how to do these things from the people around us, our neurological systems, at some point, accept them as reality. We stop questioning whether other facts or perspectives exist, or, using the language of NLP, whether some other facts and perspectives would help us to do other things. In the language of NLP, this is known as an internal “map of the world” that we learn through sensory experience.

We learn to communicate using both verbal and non-verbal language. The words we use, the metaphors we are most comfortable with, the analogies that are most common in our speech, our vocabulary, our level of discipline in using correct grammar or pronunciation, the amount of slang we use, whether our language is casual or formal, the ideas we talk about, the accent we are most likely to use when speaking—all of these linguistic abilities follow directly from our map of the world. Although this dual form of communication is very complex and powerful, our ability to communicate is limited by this subjective reality experience. Together, these two elements, our neurological maps, which in turn form our patterns of linguistic expression, represent our “programming,” hence, neuro-linguistic programming.

Below is a diagram illustrating the theory behind NLP:

(NLP model of therapeutic change, n.d.)

CHAPTER 11: HOW TO DEAL WITH

MANIPULATIVE PEOPLE

We all have been guilty at one time or another of resorting to manipulation to get something that we wanted. It is almost painful to never talk without any form of agenda. Every time we need a friend's favor, we might resort to slight manipulation or persuasion in trying to get them to go along with what we need them to do. If we need a colleague at work to go along with our agenda, we might need to resort to bribery or intimidation to get them to act. Leaders, managers, and supervisors rely on some techniques of manipulation to either inspire (persuasion) or play on your emotions and fears to get you to listen and follow their instructions. Manipulation is all around us, despite the negative association with this term. It is either that you are being manipulated, or you are the one who manipulates.

As we know by now, manipulators always want to be in charge, to put themselves above you and everyone else around them in order to feel superior. To be the one who pulls all the strings and lets everyone else dance to their drumbeat. To do this, they will do whatever they can to try and rattle your faith, making you second guess yourself. Even if you don't necessarily see yourself as a manipulator, you might have done something like this before. Have you ever met a new friend at work who was laughing and joking while you tried to get them to take a step back and tone it down? Maybe you felt a little jealous that everyone was starting to warm up so quickly to the new colleague, and you didn't like to feel your popularity could be threatened. That colleague might have been taken aback by your sudden remark, and what you would have done is to put in their minds a little seed of doubt that their behavior may not have been as acceptable as they thought it was. Or maybe there was a friend you were in danger of losing a promotion to, so you secretly pointed out all the "errors" they made, playing on their insecurities to throw them off their game.

Manipulators want those around them to feel as if they never are good enough. What's worse is that most of us already feel inadequate, and we're concerned that other people might notice it too. This feeling has now become so prevalent, with studies finding that 70% of the population is experiencing this feeling, that it has its own name—Imposter Syndrome. According to the California Institute of Technology, those who suffer from this syndrome continually feel incompetent or like a failure. Many who live with Imposter Syndrome tend to feel self-doubt and believe they are intellectual frauds, no matter how much evidence suggests their success. Another study found that people who regularly experienced this syndrome were often poorly performing (although they were able to do better) and were usually much more nervous than those who experienced Imposter Syndrome less often. Sufferers of Imposter Syndrome also experienced a higher, more significant loss of self-esteem after what they perceived as a failure. This sensation often hits them harder than anyone else, and several studies have shown a strong correlation between Impostor Syndrome and feelings of shame, humiliation, and self-sabotage.

Individuals with the Imposter Syndrome are just the kind of people that manipulators target. When they can tap into this psychological fear, you become easy targets for them to prey on, and they will make your insecurities worse by continually questioning your actions in a way that makes you doubt your self-worth. They do this purposefully to keep you as unfocused and off-balance as possible, making it easier for them to strike when the time is right.

Handling the Manipulators in Your Life

Manipulators are everywhere, and if you're sick of being a target of their mind games, it's time to put a stop to it. Nobody has the right to manipulate and take advantage of your insecurities, whether it’s your parents, siblings, uncles, aunts, friends, colleagues, bosses, supervisors, or customers. No one has the right to make you feel bad about yourself, and no one should force you to do something that you don't want to do. A relationship with a manipulator can continue for years, often within your own family. Cutting ties with manipulators you're not related to is more comfortable, but what do you do if they are your parents or siblings? Or friends that you have known all your life? Remembering your fundamental rights is the first step towards learning how to deal with those people. You have the right to:

- Have value

- Express your emotions

- Express your views

- Express your wishes

- Set priorities

- Say no without feeling guilty

- Take what you are owed

- Take action to defend yourself from any form of moral, emotional, or physical harm

- Do what makes you happy

Your Basic Rights

These are the fundamental rights that belong to us all, and no one should be permitted to take them from you. Remembering those rights when dealing with manipulators will help you steel your resolve to fight off their attacks. Remember that you are responsible for your own life and your happiness, and you should never put those two things in someone else's hands, especially if that person happens to be a manipulator.

The next steps needed to manage manipulators are:

- Stay Away From Them: This is the only way to eliminate their power over you. If they aren't members of your immediate family, consider staying away from them altogether, even cutting ties with them if you can, because unless they change their ways, it's unlikely that the relationship will ever do you any good. If the manipulators are members of your family, you may not be able to cut ties with them completely, but you can minimize the time you spend with them. Avoid spending some time alone with them, remain "too busy" to have too long a chat, and be careful about how much time you allow yourself to spend about them. Don't forget the fundamental rights you hold.

- Start Defending Yourself Against Their Bullying: Some manipulators will resort to bullying if they know that their targets are weak. Manipulators whose personalities fall within the Dark Triad enjoy intimidating their victims mentally and emotionally, relishing the strength they feel when they realize they've struck fear in others' hearts. Defend yourself against their manipulation by recognizing that the manipulator clings to the vulnerabilities that they feel are yours. If you give in and play their game the way they want, you reinforce their belief that they are right. When you choose to stand up for yourself and confront them, they tend to retreat, as most manipulators are cowardly under all that bravado. They will never put themselves in a position that allows others to see their true colors.

- Don’t Let Them Pressure You: Even if you feel pressured to make a decision, do not let them know. Say firmly, "I'm going to need some time to think about it." Whenever you begin to feel the pressure inside you, take a deep breath, and remember that no one has the right to force you to do something you don't want to do. You have every right to say no, and you need not feel guilty about it. People pleasers often struggle with this step because they have a strong desire to avoid upsetting anyone, even if they know full well that they are being exploited. Yet you have to stand your ground and let the manipulator know once and for all that they can't push you around like your thoughts aren't worth anything.

- Learn to Say No: It's not the world's most comfortable feeling to say no, but as guilty as you feel, your happiness and your needs must come first. You owe nothing to the manipulator, and they have no right to expect you to bend to their will (though that is precisely what they intend). When you learn to say no, you don't deliberately annoy others, you love yourself, and you set your limits. Knowing to say no is how you stand up for yourself, knowing that you won't be bullied, and saying no is within your rights if it doesn't fit with your happiness.

- Point Out the Consequences: When you see that the manipulator has put you in a situation where you feel verbally and emotionally abused, let them know that you are aware of that by pointing out the possible consequences of what they are trying to do. Putting yourself one step ahead of them by letting them know that you're completely aware of their actions will take them by surprise and signal that you're not someone to be messed with. You'll force them to re-evaluate their strategies and think twice about trying to take advantage of you in the future.

- Do Not Expect Anything from Them: Particularly with regards to getting them to see things from your viewpoint. This won't happen because most manipulators are self-absorbed people, concerned solely with their own desires and interests. They care little about other people's feelings or opinions, and they certainly won't go out of their way to try and see things from your perspective. They lack empathy and can never see past their own interests. If you expect them to change their tune, you're only setting yourself up for disappointment. Never expect them to change their ways, or even attempt to fix them because that's not going to happen. A manipulator will only change their ways when they themselves decide they want to; not because someone else has asked them to.

- Diffuse and Exit: When you find yourself in a confrontational situation with a manipulator, there are only two goals to consider. The situation needs to be diffused and then exit. Even if the "exit" means to put an abrupt stop to the conversation or to end a friendship altogether, the longer you keep engaging with the manipulator, the more they may try to rile you up by criticizing you, arguing with you, accusing you of something you've never done just to get a rise out of you, trying to make you lose your patience, and even pressing your buttons until you become overly emotional and likely to do something you might regret.

CHAPTER 12: HOW TO DEFEND

YOURSELF FROM MANIPULATION

TECHNIQUES

At this point in your reading, I assume you have a clear understanding of manipulation with regards to what it is, how it happens, and the techniques that are involved. When people realize they have been manipulated, they may feel ashamed, weak, used, or stupid. Generally, being manipulated sucks, especially after realizing that we have been used to help other people further their selfish agendas.

Chronic manipulation can have devastating effects on the victims. The most obvious effect is that the affected person develops a negative image of themselves and the world. This is true, especially for people who have been manipulated and had their bodies or minds abused. Some people stop trusting everyone and everything out of fear of being used again. Nobody wants to have their worldviews negatively affected by intruders.

All the same, there is some good news. The good news is that just like we can put measures in place to prevent us from falling ill, we can also implement some to prevent and discourage manipulation. Manipulation will only affect us if we allow it to, or fail to recognize it before and while it happens. By identifying manipulation before it occurs, we can retain control over our lives. Even if we are already being manipulated by applying these effective anti-manipulation tactics, we can overcome the vice and reclaim our beautiful lives.

We are going to discuss six powerful ways to avoid or reverse manipulation. Some of the ideas might not be desirable or effective in every situation. However, from the six suggestions below, you are sure to settle on a few, which will be your best bets against these malicious mind controllers.

1. Understand Your Rights

The main reason that you will feel as if someone is manipulating you is that you will feel as if your rights have been violated. However, you might fail even to realize that someone is manipulating you if you have no idea what fundamental rights you are entitled to. As long as you stick to your lane and do not harm other people or interfere with their lives, you remain on the safe side. Fundamental rights are the acceptable boundaries that define the extent to which one person can affect the life of another. Therefore, one of the most effective ways that can help you to keep manipulators away is to understand where your rights start and end. Below are some of the common fundamental human rights:

- Everyone has the right to be respected. If someone is disrespecting you, it might be a sign of manipulation.

- Everyone has the right to determine their own priorities. If you decide to prioritize yourself, nobody should try to interfere with that.

- Everyone has the right to express their wants, opinions, and feelings. As we have already seen, manipulation happens by taking away free will.

- Everyone has the right to refuse something without being made to feel guilty. This is very important because if you realize that you do not want something, saying “no” should be respected.

- Everyone has the right to have opinions that differ from others. Disagreements are normal. Therefore, nobody should mistreat you in any way for holding different opinions.

- Everyone has the right to create and live their own healthy and happy life. If anything threatens to take this right away, such as a toxic friendship, you have the right to cut it down.

- Finally, and very importantly to our topic of avoiding manipulation, everyone has the right to protect themselves from being emotionally, physically, or mentally threatened. If you feel this right is being violated, object, and move away.

2. Maintain Your Distance

It is easy to detect a manipulator because they tend to show their true colors when faced with different situations or interact with different people. As humans, we are allowed to adapt to situations and people. However, with toxic people, their variations are extreme. A manipulator might be highly polite when with you, but when they meet someone they have less regard for, they can become overly rude or aggressive with them. Similarly, they might seem helpless at one moment but become very controlling the next. This is a sure red flag that the person is unstable and unreliable, and that it will only be a matter of time before they extend the same treatment to you.

The best course of action when you come across such a person is to maintain a healthy distance. A healthy distance means you might not necessarily cut them off completely, but you do not put yourself in situations that might make it easy for them to control you. Avoid engaging with such a person as much as you can. We have seen that chronic manipulators do it as a result of psychological complications, and it might be easier to avoid them than try to change them. However, this is a personal choice.

3. Understand Them

It is very important to understand that manipulation can manifest from a psychological problem. If you understand something, then you can determine how to deal with it. For example, we do not scold babies for soiling their clothes or keeping us awake all night because we know it is beyond their control. As they grow up, these habits improve. In the same way, you should look at a manipulator as someone who is experiencing a problem with themselves. Manipulative people tend to possess low self-esteem, lower willpower, and an irresistible urge for chaos and drama.

Their way of expression is affected such that it does not go well with normal people. One of the reasons they might tend to control others is that they feel inferior and need to hurt others so they can feel better. They do not even realize that their actions affect others because they lack empathy. In short, if we understand that manipulation is a form of mental illness, then we can take any attempts at manipulation lightly. In this way, the manipulator does not gain any power or control over us.

4. Hide Your Weaknesses

Manipulation only occurs if we allow it to. One way to enable it to happen is by allowing outsiders to know our weaknesses. A manipulator’s agenda is usually to find out the weaknesses of their victims and then use them to evoke feelings of inadequacy, guilt, shame, blame, or weakness. Therefore, always keep your weaknesses hidden unless it is completely necessary to reveal them, or if the person you are opening up to has proven to be genuine and trustworthy. The downside to opening up even to real friends is that you never know when the friendship might end.

To some extent, sharing our weaknesses is not even necessary. Weaknesses are part of being human, and everyone has them. Therefore, if you can keep your shortfalls to yourself and feel satisfied with them, it can be the best defense against manipulation. After all, everyone has their flaws, and they do not go around preaching about them. Once the manipulator has no shortcuts to accessing our most powerful emotions, they cannot succeed in invading our lives. In short, know what to share with others and what to keep to yourself.

5. Do Not Ask for Permission

In our upbringing, we are taught to always ask for things to be done for us. As children, we had to ask for food rather than prepare it ourselves. We also needed permission before going out or sleeping over at friends’ houses. Requesting permission was meant to keep us in good standing with everyone, so we could avoid doing what would otherwise offend them. Unfortunately, this training led to conditioning whereby to do something, we need to seek permission or validation even as adults. Manipulators have taken advantage of this kind gesture and turned it into a part of their artillery. They want us to feel tied to imaginary ideals and rules that we must consult with some authority before taking action. Worse still, they install themselves as these authorities, which we must consult.

Honestly, asking for permission, especially to do things in one’s personal life, is outdated. It is about time we stopped being concerned with the opinions of others about our life decisions. If we needed others to approve or disapprove of all our decisions, we’d get cast into an abyss of confinement.

For example, parents should not decide who their children should marry. While this was a common practice in the past, things have changed. Arranged marriages risk pitting two people who have no connection together. Such relationships feel like prisons for both partners, and usually, they end in disaster. Therefore, to avoid manipulation of this kind, we should make our decisions without seeking the opinions of others (manipulators).

6. Ignore Manipulators

If you cannot move away from a person that you know is manipulative, apply the shield of ignorance. One of the mistakes that we make when dealing with such people is giving them the attention they so desire. Once they get the attention, they gain the upper hand in initiating the mind poisoning process. If you see or suspect that a manipulative person is making moves on you, just ignore them. For instance, if someone gives you too many compliments yet you are not acquainted with them, resort to ignoring them. You can tell them that the compliments are enough and ignore them henceforth.

One risk of ignoring manipulative people is that it might trigger more aggressiveness in them. They are usually fighting with their inner selves and will pour out the anger if they feel ignored. This does not mean you should not apply ignorance where necessary. When a normal person feels ignored, they pull back and stop their advances. Therefore, assume that this is the response that they will give. If they resort to aggression, you can take appropriate action, such as reporting them. We will go into this point later.

CHAPTER 13: HOW TO AVOID

BEING MANIPULATED

You do not have to be a victim of manipulation. Here are some tips on how you can avoid being manipulated:

1. Observe People

Observe people; watch how they act towards others and in various situations. While it is true that everyone has a slight degree of social differentiation, a manipulator tends to be more habitual. They usually act to the extreme, rude to some and overly polite to others—or fiercely aggressive one moment and helpless the next. When you meet this kind of individual, the best course of action is to stay away from them. Keep your distance unless it is absolutely necessary.

2. Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries for yourself is a basic defense against would-be manipulators. Know your basic rights are and use them to set your limits. As we previously discussed, your rights include:

- Saying no

- Setting your own priorities

- Expressing your own opinions, feelings, and desires

- Being treated respectfully

- Protecting yourself

- Having a healthy and happy life

- Having a different opinion from others

- Getting paid what you are owed

Adhering to these rights will set your boundaries. As long as you are not inflicting harm on others, you have the right to defend and stand up for yourself against anyone.

3. It Is Not Your Fault

When you feel your answers do not seem to satisfy the manipulator, never blame yourself. Remember that manipulators exploit your weaknesses and use them against you. There is nothing wrong with you; the manipulator aims to make you feel bad and inadequate to gain control and power over you. If this happens, remember your basic rights and ask yourself:

- Is this person treating me with respect?

- Are his or her demands reasonable?

- Is our relationship one-way or two-way?

- Does this relationship make me feel good?

From these questions, you will be able to determine if the problem is you or the other person.

4. Counter Their Demands

Manipulators always demand from their victims, and more often than not, the victims give in to these demands. When their demands become too unreasonable for you, counter them with your own requests to see if they know they are demanding too much. You can throw back some questions to make them aware that their request is putting you at a disadvantage:

- Are you telling me or asking me?

- What do I get if I say yes?

- Does that sound fair to you?

- Do you expect me to do that?

When you ask questions like these, the manipulator may become aware of the inequity of their demands and may stop or back down. However, not everyone will do so, such as the narcissist who will ignore your questions and insist on getting their own way. When you meet this kind of person, use the next tip to stop the discussion and retain control.

5. I’ll Think About It

These words are probably the most powerful words you can utter to counter an unreasonable demand. Manipulators have a way of putting pressure on you to give an immediate answer. When this happens, buy yourself time and distance yourself from their influence. Give yourself power by saying “I will think about it.” These words give you the power. You now control the situation; as the manipulator must wait for your answer. This also gives you enough time to weigh up the pros and cons of their demand and consider whether you should negotiate or just say no.

6. Say No

Saying no is not as easy as it may sound. For some, saying the dreaded two-letter word is uncomfortable; while others may want to say yes but would like to think about it first, others just want to avoid conflict. Saying no is not a sign of rudeness if you say it articulately and diplomatically. You can say no without being rude or impolite.

- If you are saying no, do not feel guilty. You do not owe the one making the request anything.

- They are making the request because they need you and your influence. If you feel that saying yes may violate your boundaries, do not give in. Remember that you have the right to say no without guilt, the right to set your priorities, and the right to live a happy and healthy life.

- Protect your most important resource – time. If saying yes will take up time from your other priorities, be honest. You can say, “I would like to help you but, I have a prior commitments.”

Take away the sting of your rejection by referring them to someone else who maybe able to help them.

7. Set Consequences

When a manipulator refuses to take no as an answer, set consequences.  This would give him pause and could make him change his behavior. For example, “If you continue with this offensive behavior, I will leave (or ask you to leave).”

8. Stand Up for Your Rights

In tip number two, you learned about your basic rights and how to use them to set boundaries. However, manipulators can also employ bullying through intimidation and physical harm. What you need to remember is that bullies can only bully those they see as weak. Most bullies are cowards inside, and when they see their victim fighting back, they will normally back down. As long as you are not harming other people, there is nothing wrong with standing up for your rights.

Manipulation only happens if you allow it.

CHAPTER 14: MYTHS AND

MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT DARK

PSYCHOLOGY

There are a variety of subjects that are appropriate for dinner discussion. Dark psychology is not one of them. The last thing you want to know at Thanksgiving is how Uncle Joe performed on his Machiavellian orientation. Due to the maliciousness around dark psychology, there are generally very few accessible conversations on the subject.

Take the Dark Triad experiment, for example. Are you thinking of taking it? If so, are you willing to disclose your findings to anyone? The odds are that if you responded positively to the first query, you would presumably respond negatively to the second question. Most people want to speak of themselves as decent citizens.

Furthermore, they want other people to think of them as nice individuals. Putting your Dark Triad evaluation on a show for everyone to see might not help this objective. Because of all this hush-hush, there are several assumptions and misconceptions concerning character traits that are critical to dark psychology.

MYTH ONE: Psychopaths and sociopaths are the same things.

TRUTH: Psychopathy and sociopathy are two distinct forms of antisocial personality conditions.

The words “psychopath” and “sociopath” are used synonymously in daily conversation. However, there are notable differences between these two personality disorders. Experts find sociopathy to be a less severe condition than psychopathy. The list below illustrates some of the features that differentiate a psychopath from a sociopath:

Psychopath

- Lacks moral scruples

- They are willing to fit in by being attractive and are therefore more difficult to spot.

- Cold-hearted and highly tactical

Sociopath

- Has a poor conscience

- Don't have any intention of fitting in and are therefore easy to identify

- Will only be concerned about themselves

- Hot-headed, will jump without checking

MYTH TWO: Psychopaths are raised – it is not something you are born with.

TRUTH: Psychopaths are indeed born that way.

Psychopathy is a very complex personality disorder that more often than not, begins at birth. Psychopaths emerge from the womb already programmed to behave differently from most people. Consequently, they move away from what is considered normal and often find themselves in situations in which any other “average” individual would not typically find themselves. A study has shown that the psychopath's brain functions differently to the brains of individuals who do not have any personality disorders. So, what happens when a psychopath is born?

Depending on the setting in which the psychopath emerges, they will grow into one of the following pathways: If a toddler who exhibits indications of psychopathy grows up in a supportive family, he or she could be expected to become a corporate or political figure with a lot of power. If the infant grows up in a dysfunctional or abusive setting, they are likely to become a serial killer or murderer. Psychopaths who are molded in an atmosphere that is somewhere between the first two conditions often end up in positions of control in areas such as law enforcement and administration.

MYTH THREE: Sociopaths are born that way.

TRUTH: Sociopaths are primarily the result of their surroundings.

More often than not, sociopaths are the product of the society in which they are raised. It often begins with a biological or hereditary propensity to sociopathy, compounded by the form of care they receive. For example, a boy who grows up in a society where nobody appears to care for him is likely to have the same lack of sympathy for others in later life. When children grow up around parents who possess little sense of morality and have no social code, their morals will be profoundly weakened as a result.

MYTH FOUR: Women cannot be psychopaths.

TRUTH: There are reported cases of female psychopaths.

More often than not, when you hear the word “psychopath,” you immediately assume it is a male character. However, this is not always the case. Many females are recognized as psychopaths who utilize their sexuality and womanhood to exploit others. Female psychopaths also tend to have a large number of intimate partners.

MYTH FIVE: Psychopaths are fascinated with murder.

TRUTH: Psychopaths have a need for exhilaration.

Murder is just one way that psychopaths quench their need for exhilaration. When most people think about psychopaths, they think of the massacres that happen left, right, and, center. Though while a murderer is more likely than not to be a psychopath, some psychopaths are no more likely to commit murder than the majority of the population. Most psychopaths go through their life pursuing thrills but never really cause violent damage to anyone. Yes, they could break a few hearts when they hop from one romantic partner to another and throw a few people under the bus to scale the professional ladder, but that is as far as many of them go. If you search for a psychopath in your life, you are unlikely to find one if you are only searching for brutality and lust for blood.

MYTH SIX: Psychopathy is a mental disorder that can be treated.

TRUTH: Psychopathy is a personality disorder that has no treatment.

If it were a mental disorder, there would be a chance of therapy. Psychopathy, however, is a personality disorder, and this means that no treatment can make psychopaths calm, emotional, and empathetic. Because they don't accept that anything is wrong, they would not even be concerned about taking medication, even if it did exist. In situations where psychopaths have been persuaded to try therapy to fix broken relationships, it is not unusual to find them trying to manipulate the other party into believing that the therapy is effective or has already worked. Note that these people are extremely deceptive and capable of using whatever methods are necessary to overcome challenging circumstances. Owing to their brazen lack of fear and compassion, a psychopath will have no trouble wasting a loved one's time in therapy, if only to make it seem like they are trying.

MYTH SEVEN: You can transform an individual on the Dark Triad by treating them appropriately.

TRUTH: Most of the individuals who rank highly on the Dark Triad evaluation continue their behavior for the remainder of their lives.

Love is a curious phenomenon in that it lets people feel that they are capable of the impossible, even though the truth is revealed before their eyes. Manipulative characters have a way of love-bombing you into assuming they are the perfect match you have been looking for all along. Sadly, this is typically just an effort to draw you into a friendship that is simply smoke and mirrors. When someone has gotten into this kind of partnership, and the true character of the manipulator then surfaces, you will often see a romantic partner hanging around in the belief that things will improve and love will be sufficient to turn things around. Unfortunately, this is rarely the case.

First of all, the fact that psychopathy is mostly inherited indicates that it is impossible to overcome it. At best, psychopaths can only turn their lack of empathy into goals that are not harmful to social structure as a whole. As for Machiavellianism and narcissism, these often derive from profound psychological distress that may take a great deal of strategy to conquer. Most people who lean heavily towards Machiavellianism and narcissism do so as a defensive mechanism. Every effort to get them out of this state will only appear to them as an assault, leading them to mount their resistance. As such, interference in the form of love can be extremely inefficient. It is also important to remember that love and other shimmering feelings are not necessarily highly rated by a person in the Dark Triad. They may not even recognize love, regardless of how it seems. As such, if you are in a relationship with a partner who has the traits of the Dark Triad, you might want to reconsider whether that is what you desire.

MYTH EIGHT: Individuals who rank high on the Dark Triad are more alluring.

TRUTH: This has been proven to be false.

Why is it that people still tend to be drawn towards the narcissists and psychopaths of this world? Is it because the Dark Triad characters are more appealing than most of us? In an attempt to ascertain if Dark Triad characters are better-looking, academic scholars investigated a variety of individuals with higher Dark Triad ratings. The findings of this research indicated that the main reason these participants looked appealing was that they dressed and portrayed themselves in a way that was well organized. When they were dressed in bland clothing, these individuals didn't seem as appealing as before. As such, it is reasonable to believe that the care and energy that goes into getting dressed and the confidence that comes with it are what renders a narcissist or psychopath more appealing.

MYTH NINE: Psychopaths can improve when they have children.

TRUTH: Psychopaths are unable to be empathic toward or responsible for their offspring.

Psychopaths typically have a very difficult time raising their children. Unlike average parents who are not on the Dark Triad scale, it is challenging for psychopaths to view their children as unique individuals. Rather, they perceive them to be devices or extensions of themselves that are accessible for their use whenever they wish. Psychopaths are more inclined to see their children as achievements that make them feel good, than as young, emotionally fragile beings who are looking for somebody to protect them throughout their early lives. As such, a psychopath will usually force their children to develop skills in something they have no desire to participate in, even though it may be to the detriment of the children's mental health and development. They could forcefully sign them up for swimming classes, for example, as they feel that their child will become an excellent swimmer and a champion, just to boost their social status in the neighborhood. It is very difficult to convince psychopathic parents to see that they are acting only in their own interests, and they will not comprehend why their children will not do whatever it takes to get to the highest level.

MYTH TEN: You are either on the Dark Triad, or you are not.

TRUTH: The Dark Triad is a scale on which some feature highly while others appear further down.

The characteristics of narcissism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism are rooted in every individual. The only distinction is that in some individuals, these behaviors are amplified to the extent that they become toxic to those around them. Take narcissism, for example. Everyone has their way of thinking about themselves. Perhaps you like to think that you are nice-looking, intelligent, and easy to love. For a narcissist, this self-image is taken out of context to the point that their entire life circles around it.

CHAPTER 15: COMMON

CONS WORLDWIDE AND THE DARK PSYCHOLOGY BEHIND THEM

As we mentioned before, con artists are a great example of dark psychology at work. As such, we thought you might enjoy a chapter detailing several famous cons practiced across the planet. This can keep you out of trouble when you run into these scams yourself, and can also teach you a little of the dark psychology behind the cons. Some of them are only mildly malicious, but others are quite horrible. We hope this will help to explain a little the mindset behind these dark persuaders so that you may be better equipped to avoid them in your future. Before we go into this list, let's discuss a little how con artists use dark persuasion so effectively.

Embarrassment

Con artists know that most folks will NOT report the incident, as they will feel embarrassed at having been manipulated by a scammer. If it happens to you, you should report it, because we can guarantee that you are probably not the only one and it might not stop for a very long time without your help.

Mirroring Your Body Language

Con artists know that if they mirror your body language, you are more likely to like and trust them. Be sure to watch out for this technique to help protect yourself.

Dress for Success

Con artists know that you are more likely to trust someone well-dressed than you are to trust someone who looks like they just came in off the street. They will take advantage of this. Watch out when someone very well-dressed starts treating you like a best friend, especially if they are talking about new business opportunities. If you do decide to do business, there is nothing wrong with insisting on a background check.

Appear Trustworthy

Con artists will buy you drinks and tell you stories that make them seem more down to earth, in an attempt to win your trust. Conning doesn't always occur in the space of an evening, so even if you have known someone for a month or two, you should still be careful where money is concerned. Anyone you barely know that asks, “Do you want to make some the money?” should be viewed with suspicion at the very least.

Get You Talking About Yourself

As dark manipulators, con artists know that people like you more if you get them to talk about themselves. They also know that this gives them information they can use against you to get what they want. Pay attention to their body language and remember the background check advice that we gave you. It gets you information, it's legal, and you can throw it away once you've protected yourself by checking. It's not popular advice, but it is good advice.

Target You When You Are Vulnerable

Dark manipulators know when you are vulnerable and likely to make bad decisions. Con artists are among the best of them. If you've recently lost someone or lost your job, and someone has popped into your life that you seem to be spending a suspicious amount of money around, be careful. This might be the kind of “friend” that you'll never see again once the money is gone.

Play on Your Greed

The scams that con artists like to employ the most play on your greed. They usually involve buying items or investing in something that is going to have an unrealistic turnaround time and profit. Be especially wary if there is a time limit or it's a “one-time offer.” If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

Now that we have mentioned the basic tactics employed, here are some examples of real-life cons to give you a glimpse into this branch of dark manipulation:

1. "Your Hotel is Full"

This may be familiar to some of you with a fondness for travel. If you have never experienced this ruse before, a taxi driver will get you in the car and when they hear the name of the hotel you are going to, they will then advise you that this hotel is full/overbooked that night and offer to take you somewhere nice where you will be able to get a room. Many weary travelers have fallen for this one, providing unscrupulous business for the taxi driver and the hotel which is owned by one of his friends or family members. This can be easily avoided by insisting that the driver take you to your hotel, by calling your hotel, or by leaving the unscrupulous cabby's vehicle immediately to find yourself a more honest driver.

2. The Petition

This one is popular in Paris but occurs in many places around the world. When entering an area of interest to tourists, you'll notice several people going around with clipboards. They will come up to you and advise that they are rallying for a particular cause and ask you to sign a petition. Once signed, they will then insist that you have to donate and they will get 'offended' if you resist. Many people will pay to avoid a scene or to avoid being viewed as someone who cares for a cause but is not willing to help. Avoid the clipboards altogether, as they are only after your cash.

3. Renting a Vacation Apartment

This one is particularly nasty and occurs in many places across the globe. A con artist posing as a tourist will rent a property with stolen cards, only to then begin advertising the property on the Internet so they can collect as many cash deposits as possible before fleeing the scene. By setting the availability date of the property to be at the end of the month and giving out keys to help sell the con, they end up with a lot of money and plenty of time to disappear before the duped people start arriving. If it's too good to be true, it probably is. Keep a paper trail and never pay a cash deposit.

4. “I'm Making a Video!”

One story we heard was a con involving a woman who went into a popular expensive clothing store, claiming she was a music producer. She told them that she was making a video and that the store could advertise their items if they were willing to donate clothing for the band members to wear in the videos. As she had had the place scoped out well beforehand, she knew who could and could not make that sort of decision, and was able to procure some very expensive clothing at someone else's expense.

5. Art Student

A very popular scam in Europe, tourists will find themselves approached by someone friendly who claims to be an artist working their way through art school. They will be asked to see the art on display, and only find out too late that they have paid 2-4 times the cost of the copy print they have just purchased.

6. Your Grandson is in Jail (or the Hospital)

This one is truly horrible. Many con artists, scammers, and other dark manipulators will arm themselves very well to get what they want from you. Information is something they covet. Finding out your name from your mail or bills in the trash, things only get worse from there. For a time, there were reports of dark manipulators contacting elderly targets and telling them that their grandchild was in jail and needed money wired for a bond, or worse, that they were in the hospital far away and needed someone to get money to them. Using the love for a family member is truly vicious, and helps you understand that some of these people will stop at nothing to get what they want.

7. Versace Manager Needs Gas

Everyone has had someone come up to them at a gas station and ask for money but one con artist was a bit more prepared. Dressed in expensive clothes and claiming to work for Versace, this individual asked for gasoline, and even showed the targets fabric and clothing samples in the process to make them feel that this was just a person down on their luck. Reportedly, some people made loans to this person for 20, 50, and even 100 euros. Trust, but verify. You can be a Good Samaritan and still be careful.

8. Dead Husband's Debt

This is another horrible scam perpetrated largely on the elderly. Con artists will review obituaries to find out the names of the recently deceased so that they may contact the widow or widower. They will then proceed to tell them that their spouse owed a sum of money and attempt to collect on this while the victim is in a vulnerable emotional state. Dark manipulators like to catch us when we are unbalanced and, for many of them, nothing is sacred. If you ever experience someone contacting you like this, be sure to go straight to the police.

9. Broken Meter

Another staple when traveling to a new city or a new country, the old 'broken meter' trick has fleeced many a victim. The scenario is simple. Your taxi arrives, you get in, and are advised that the meter is broken as the cabby starts to pull out of the pick-up zone. Once you reach your destination, the price has been doubled or tripled and they will threaten to call the police if you don't pay. Let them. In this information age that we live in, you can easily map a route from the airport on your smartphone and demonstrate the distance.

The difficult part, however, is that this is very popular in many foreign countries where you may not speak the local language. The best you can do is make sure that the meter is running before you leave and, if not, insist on another ride.

10. Bird Poop Clean-up

This is a common street scam. Imagine you are walking and someone comes up to you and points out what looks very much like bird poop on your shoulder. This person immediately pulls out a handkerchief and offers to help you out of this embarrassing situation by cleaning off the offensive item. You thank them and leave, only to find that they also cleaned out your wallet and smartphone. If something similar happens to you while on vacation, don't let anyone clean your clothing, simply thank them and go into the nearest bathroom to do it yourself.

CHAPTER 16: THE INTERNET AND

DARK PSYCHOLOGY

Psychology is a science that encompasses the study of human thoughts, behavior, emotions, and the mind. The beautiful thing is when one gets a deeper understanding of how psychology operates, it can significantly benefit ourselves and our everyday interactions with others. Man is a social being; therefore, it must process social behaviors that psychology seeks to understand, usually explains, and sometimes predicts.

A large part of psychology aims to diagnose and treat mentally derailed individuals who possess a threat to the general public.

Psychology is all around you; your everyday activity, and your interaction with others, that TV commercial you saw recently, the print ads, the website you are most frequently on, and so on.

Interestingly, there is psychology involved in any human problem, no matter the age or gender, and psychologists aim to make life better and improve human behavior. Part of this, as we know, involves looking at ther darker side of human nature.

Dark psychology aims to understand the various thoughts, reasoning, perception, or feelings that often lead to human predatory behavior that leads to the inhumane and brutal victimization of others without any reasonable human comprehension.

Internet trolls can also be an agent of destruction. An Internet troll starts a quarrel and offends people online. According to psychology, such people sometimes have dark personality traits. They live a life based on their sadistic nature, and others must suffer the same fate; they naturally make you feel bad. Most times, there is a psychological disorder triggered by experience or an ongoing occurrence. When you encounter a troll, the best thing to do is completely ignore them as they feed on your suffering, which gives them great pleasure.

These internet trolls can be called predators. These people are first-class cyberbullies, stalkers, criminals, sexual predators, and the like. They use the power of the Internet to gather useful information about their victims or targets.

A predator can be a group of people or persons that, directly or indirectly, enjoys stalking, exploring, and victimizing unsuspecting individuals by using the power of information communication technology (ICT). They are often consumed with their desire for power, fantasies, or just suffering from loneliness and searching for acceptance. A predator can be any age, gender, or economic status. Once upon a time, all we had to deal with were human predators. But with the rise of the technology age, things are now even more complicated as predators harness ICT's power and use it to their advantage, creating profiles, and becoming almost untraceable.

Dark Traits and Online Activities

The Internet is a world of its own. It is a chain of networks communicating with billions of other systems. You have access to almost anything you can think of. Despite having wonderful advantages, the disadvantages can be life-threatening. One of the common disadvantages is that people who spend a lot of time working in front of a computer often get ill. They get weaker, develop eye issues, back pain, and the like. Some people develop addictions, some fall into depression, and suffer from other serious health issues, while many end up with serious social issues or psychological disorders.

The Internet takes the different behaviors and activities we engage in offline and makes them practical online as well. Imagine someone addicted to sex, games, or shopping. When such a person gets online, it becomes unlimited, which later turns into a habit. If the Internet has such an effect on the average person, imagine what dangers it would pose in the hands of a predator. Narcissists are proud and lack empathy. Machiavellian are manipulative and lack morals, while psychopaths are selfish and remorseless.

Categorically, the dark personality triad is a big influence in the behaviors of predators that troll online. The online behavior of a psychopathy can be remorseless while a Machiavellian manipulates, and a narcissist is preoccupied with getting attention. With all of these traits in mind, one can easily pinpoint an internet troll that possesses a dark personality. Several researchers discovered that dark personality triad behaviors are mostly found on their social media platforms like Facebook. Most trolls have a psychopathic tendency and promotes themselves or their social status using social media platforms.

Since he has pride, the online activity is a display of superiority, though uploading images that exhbits his wealth and success. They can be materialistic and display a sense of superiority; they can be domineering and have a thirst for power and status. Machiavellians, on the other hand, seek to manipulate and deceive unknowing victims to achieve their own goals. The psychopath, in their way, is the most destructive of all the three personalities.

The psychopath has no conscience, is violent, and very aggressive. Hypothetically speaking, psychopathy in the form of trolling is more frequent among popular people on Facebook. On the other hand, a narcissist might not be a troll, but will see themselves as superior to everyone. They look down on people, and they believe that they are special. Psychopathic traits can be sadistic and they may find pleasure in harming others for fun's sake. So, it is acceptable to say that abnormal online behavior is mostly psychopaths.

CONCLUSION

This book examined dark psychology, and the use of different techniques that can be used to manipulate people. It is becoming more and more prevalent in our society. This book also examined how you can prevent being manipulated, including steps you can take if someone is trying to manipulate you.

A person who is suffering from these dark psychology traits will not hesitate to use trickery, lies, or deceit to achieve their goals. When they are successful and finally get what they want, they will show no remorse for the people they have manipulated. Most of the time these people may even feel justified and believe that what they did was okay.

Those that are manipulated by such a person may not even know what is going on. Instead of seeing the person for who they are, they might mistake the manipulator as someone with good intentions.

Dark psychology has no boundaries. These tactics may be used by a young person to get what they want or they may be employed by someone much older and more experienced in manipulating others.

To give the manipulator the upper hand, it is common for them to disguise their efforts as something else entirely. Rather than admitting that they are using someone else, they may claim to be doing something nice for them. However, this is just a ploy to get what they want.

This form of manipulation cannot be stopped by being aware of it, as the manipulator will find a way to convince their intended victim that it is all in good fun or something else entirely. Laws have been designed to help prevent this form of manipulation, but they do not always work as planned.

What are the signs that you might be the victim of dark psychology? Do you feel that someone is using you? It is important to figure out quickly how someone is using you and to do everything possible to avoid being manipulated. Learning to spot the signs of manipulation is an important part of overcoming this negative form of influence.

One sign that you could be the victim of dark psychology is when you feel like someone may be using your emotions to get what they want. This may come in the form of friendship or even love, but it can be difficult to tell when someone is doing this. Again, just because you are aware of someone using your emotions does not mean that they are doing it on purpose. A manipulator will use any means to get what they want, even if this means using your emotions to do so.

Another sign that you could be the victim of dark psychology is when someone is playing with your mind. There are many ways that someone can play with your mind to get what they want, and this is an effective way to manipulate their victim. You may have heard of the term “mind games” or even “emotional games”, and these are just different names for what dark psychology is all about.

One of the most common ways that someone will play with your mind is through manipulation. They may claim to be doing something nice for you, but this might not be true at all. Instead, they may be using you to get what they want. This could come in the form of attention, or it could come in the form of a free meal or even a gift.

The main thing to watch out for when you are around someone that uses dark psychology is their intentions. If someone is doing nice things for you but this is not because they care about you or want to help, then there is a good chance that they have an ulterior motive.

As you can see, being manipulated with dark psychology is a serious thing. While it may not be possible to avoid everything in life, you do have the ability to try and overcome this negative form of influence. By learning about it and watching for the signs that someone may be using you, you will be able to overcome this problem more easily.

The most common method of using hypnosis and brainwashing has been through cults. While there seems to be no broad consensus on the definition of a cult, most authors agree that cults are small groups that can be easily controlled and kept separate from outside influences and that their teachings may be in opposition to the views held by the rest of society.

Cults are known to follow certain patterns related to hypnosis and brainwashing. For example, while concentration and meditation are part of the routine of cult leaders, they also commonly use isolation to keep their followers away from the rest of society. Since many cult leaders tend to have a charismatic personality, followers often feel special or privileged just for being accepted by them. This is accomplished through processes that tend to isolate the followers, while at the same time, they are forced to rely on the leaders for scarce resources such as food and clothes. This results in deep psychological dependence on the leaders and leaves them unable to make decisions without their approval and support. In this way, cults can be seen as a transition from segregation or isolation to imprisonment.

Some authors have also described a process of brainwashing as a three-stage cycle: an indoctrination stage, where the followers are educated about the cult; an isolation stage, where followers are exposed to psychological pressure and deprived of their identity; and an indoctrination stage that reinforces the original teachings given in the first part.

The tendency of cults to use brainwashing techniques is evident in the way they are created. In most cases, cults can be attributed to a charismatic individual who has implemented basic techniques of hypnosis or mind control to attract followers. Then, through social interactions and rituals that pressure people into submission, they seem to convert their followers from a normal state into an abnormal state where they are completely dependent on the leader. Whether it is done through hypnosis or mind control, the effect is the same, and there seems to be a strong relationship between mind-altering techniques and cult creation.

HOW

TO READ PEOPLE

LIKE A BOOK

CHRISTOPHER KINGLER

INTRODUCTION

Body language encompasses a variety of forms including facial expressions, gestures, eye movement, and posture. It includes voluntary facial expressions and gestures used to control the flow of interpersonal communication; it can also include control of bodily behavior that is not always conscious.

Body language is one of the three cues used in social interaction (besides speech and touch) and involves nonverbal communication between human beings. It can be used to express an emotion or thought, to manipulate others into feeling a certain way or simply to attract attention. Body language can serve functional purposes, such as to attract the attention of another person, to show interest in what another person is saying, etc.

It also serves social purposes, such as indicating a friendly or hostile attitude towards another person, indicating whether a person is comfortable with another, or showing one’s attitudes about, or beliefs in something. It can also be used to advertise that one is looking for a sexual partner.

Body language involves the unconscious observation of natural human body movements such as gestures and posture. In this way, body language is a form of interpersonal communication. The term implies the existence of a range of communication which includes those acts that do not require speech. Body language is also sometimes known as kinesics from its early identification in the work of Dr. Meredith Regan in 1955. The field has become popular largely due to the efforts of famous experts such as Paver, Birdwhistell, and Mehrabian.

Body language can be more accurate than tone of voice in conveying a mood or attitude. Body language can be consciously controlled, but may also be the result of cultural or emotional conditioning. Body language is a form of nonverbal communication.

Body language exploits natural human cues and signals to display attitudes and intentions to others. It consists of facial expressions, hand gestures, posture, and eye movements.

The field of behavioral kinesics emerged in the 1920s as an offshoot of psychoanalysis. A part of psychoanalytic theory, body language was related to the study of mind or mental states. Sometime after World War II, social scientists and psychologists began to criticize the study of psychology, which ignored situational factors and environmental influences. This was the beginning of nonverbal behavior, the study of environmental influences on behavior. The new field proved useful in several ways:

As a result, manuals for law enforcement officers and security personnel emerged whereby they could learn more about preventing criminal activity, including how to identify subtle facial expressions or other body language cues that might help locate weapons or tell if a person was lying.

The American anthropologist Edward T. Hall was among the first scientists to study cross-cultural differences in nonverbal communication. He also developed one of the earliest theories of personal space.

Body language may be able to help people with autism spectrum disorders better express emotions and socialize in ways they can understand more than words alone.

Neurologists believe that humans are hardwired to control their bodies in certain ways. They suggest that this may be due to the existence of mirror neurons, which give people a sense of how others around them might feel during social interactions.

There are two categories of communication:

Verbal cues are communications that include spoken and written language.

Nonverbal communication: Can be observed through direct body contact or the lack thereof. While direct body contact, like holding hands or hugging, is an obvious example of nonverbal communication, the absence of direct body contact can also serve as a cue. For example:

Touch: is one method that can help let another person know how you feel about him or her. Touching of any kind serves several main purposes:

Touch may also be used as a form of communication to express affection or intimacy (e.g., hugging, hand-holding), or to indicate familiarity or friendship (e.g., a pat on the back). Touch, however, may also be used as a form of power and control (e.g., pushing someone out of the way).

Pace and proximity: This term refers to spatial relationships between people. People use these cues to determine how close they stand, and, consequently, how intimate an interaction is. When individuals are standing close to each other, it usually means they are comfortable talking to each other.

Proxemics: This is the study of human use of space. It describes personal space, social-cultural space, public spaces, intimate spaces, and others. An example of personal space is tending to feel uncomfortable or awkward when a stranger stands too close.

Gestures: Are nonverbal actions that communicate a message to another person without the use of words.

A gesture is understood within the cultural context it occurs in. For example, a thumbs-up gesture in the United States is understood to signal that everything is okay. In Brazil, Mexico, and other countries in South America, the same gesture signals an insult.

Gestures can be broken down into categories

Gestures can be grouped into several categories: greetings, distance-keeping behaviors, stances and poses, gestures of power or control, insults and obscenities, sexual gestures, and body decoration.

Nonverbal cues of discomfort may be communicated by different behaviors like facial expressions or physical actions that reveal emotions like sadness or anger.

While some bodily signals are universal, the context is essential to understanding them. A smile, for example, can mean "hello," or it can mean "I'm happy." It can also be a signal of embarrassment or discomfort. The context and the meaning must be interpreted to understand how that person actually feels.

Head and Facial Movements Are Used in Many Nonverbal Communication Cues

Head movements can indicate agreement or disagreement with what the speaker is saying. They can also be used to express the speaker's attentiveness towards the other person. Head tilts show attentiveness and interest, while a tilt to one side indicates inattentiveness or uncertainty. When nodding, there is usually a slight pause and no movement of the chin or facial muscles. This type of nod is used to indicate understanding, confirmation, or agreement.

Facial Expressions Can Communicate a Wide Range of Emotions

The facial expression may be the first cue a person will give that reveals their inner feelings. Facial expressions can be controlled voluntarily or involuntarily.

Don't Believe Everything You See: The Body Language Charade

If you want to understand what people are really thinking, studying their body language won't always help.

A dissertation by Tim Leighton, PhD candidate at the University of Portsmouth, UK showed that we are better at hiding our real feelings than most people think. In a test with 60 volunteers, only during 37 percent of the experiment did the participants seem to be really honest. The other 63 percent of the time, they tried to hide their true feelings from researchers.

"This suggests that most of the time we are better at hiding our emotions than we think, and even when we seem to be giving an honest opinion or expressing an emotion, there's a good chance that this is a front," says Leighton. "We simply can't help it—it's a constant source of deception. Humans seem to be hard-wired to hide their true feelings."

But there's no need to despair. Leighton says, “It's more important to be aware of our body language rather than trying to read what people are thinking. Our body rarely lies, but we need to exercise caution when reading people,” he explains. “Anyone who tells you they can read body language with more than 50 percent accuracy is wrong.”

PART 1

VERBAL AND PARAVERBAL

COMMUNICATION

CHAPTER 1: VOICE

A

s with any form of body language, the voice should be analyzed against the entire gamut of body language to draw a reasonable conclusion. Individuals that work in customer care or call centers understand the value of voice. It is what the customer meets and on which they form an opinion of the service and the company. Concerning voice, what counts most is what one hears. If you are a fan of music, you probably have had comprehensive exposure to the role of voice in communication.

A high volume communicates nervousness, and one should seek to convey energy and sound persuasive. At one point, you might have felt unease having to shout on the phone due to the mouthpiece or network issues because it makes you sound aggressive, and that is not how you want to be perceived. Listening to an individual that appears to be shouting suggests that the individual is irritated, tired, or unwell. A speaker that sounds like he or she is shouting comes across as someone that is offended or irked by an issue or the audience.

Then there is the speed of speaking. Speaking fast indicates panic and selfishness. Slowing down the speed of speaking allows the receiver to effectively process what is being spoken. Speaking fast also indicates that one is in a hurry and wants to move on to the next point. If you have ever called a call center and got an agent that spoke faster than usual, then you likely felt the agent was not listening or that they were not valuing your concern, as it should be.

Pitch concerns the lowness or highness of the voice and is highly important in the English language. Through pitch, we express emotions and attitudes by changing intonation. From the pitch of the voice, we can determine if one is feeling stressed. Variation of pitch helps make the conversation sound natural, as emotions are not static. From the analysis of pitch variation, one can determine if one is a native or non-native speaker of a language. A monotone voice is not expressive and not interesting to hear.

Regarding tone, it is critical because it can mislead or enhance the outcome of the conversation. If one has an angry tone, then the receiver will assume that the speaker is upset. A professional and understanding tone is preferred. A critical tone makes the person sound as if he or she is judging the audience. A professional tone makes one appear diplomatic and knowledgeable in what he or she is presenting to the audience. Organizations invest significantly in attaining a professional tone.

Tone also includes the choice of words, however, in this context, we are focusing on nonverbal communication. Perhaps at one point, you tried making a joke, but no one laughed, or you had to offer apologies because the audience processed it differently. Maybe part of this mishap was due to the way you voiced the joke, making it appear like you were shouting, taunting, or expressing disdain. Even the best comedians lose the audience in some instances due to the way they express their jokes.

Having a consistent content tone of voice enables the audience to view you as consistent. Take time to search the late and former United Nations Secretary General Koffi Annan to appreciate the pitch and voice of a speaker. There is a justification for insisting on a pleasing tone during communication. Your tone is likely to be associated with your personality and profession, and it is the reason organizations invest time and resources in evoking a tone that connects them with their clients.

Exhibiting a unique tone can help charm and convince your customers. It is not just about having a pleasant tone but also about creating an identity. If one exhibits a consistent and particular tone, then the public is likely to form an image of your values and personality, and this can make it easier to connect with customers. For instance, your favorite social media influencer has a particular tone that you associate with the individual.

Particularly outside of face-to-face communication, tone is critical to avoid misconceptions and backlash. As most services are online these days, customers occasionally need assistance with applications and access to online services, and this requires a responsive call center. When customers contact the call center, the only thing they interact with is the tone of the speaker. The tone of the call agent can worsen the emotions of the client or thaw their emotions and make it easier to solve the issue facing the customer.

The role of tone in communication is to make one appear human. People prefer to deal with humans, and tone helps create a relatable personality that the customer can bond with. A rising and falling tone helps make the communication feel natural. Having the same tone will make one sound monotonous as well as appear rehearsed. If you sound monotone, then it suggests that you cannot elicit the emotional aspects of the communication, and this makes you appear less human to the audience. Most likely, your favorite actors effectively use tone to convey different emotions. At the national level, your favorite political figure varies their tone, making their message appear relatable.

Tone also helps establish authority. You probably know someone that sounds commanding and authoritative, courtesy of their tone of voice. The preferred tone is consistent and natural that communicates confidence in what one is speaking about, and this makes the person appear in charge. Try watching National Geographic wildlife documentaries or TED talks, and you will realize that the narrators and speakers have a consistent and varying natural tone to suggest confidence in what they are talking about. Most documentaries provide a learning opportunity for the role of tone in communication.

It is through tone that one sustains the focus of the communication. Tone helps keep the audience positioned in what the speaker intended. Again, using the call center example, most call agents politely try to keep the conversation formal even when the caller tries deviating the communication. The tone of the conversation makes the audience appreciate the formality level of the conversation. During interviews, the formality of the tone helps make the content delivered by the interviewee sound believable.

Lastly, tone helps one develop an identity. As indicated, you regard certain people as commanding, comical, or reserved based on their tone, among other factors. Again, try recalling which celebrity or politician sounds convincing, professional, commanding, or angry. Tone is connected to the way people feel the emotion you are trying to communicate. In some cases, the tone contradicts the intended emotion, thus distorting the message.

Activity

Search YouTube for industrial strikes in the United Kingdom and the United States and listen to the pitch and tone of the leaders. Now search for industrial strikes in any African or Asian countries that speak English and listen to the pitch and tone of the leaders. Then comment on the tone variation or lack of tone variation in the selected leaders of the industrial leaders. Go further and comment on the pitch of the selected leaders of the industrial strikes. Then, listen to any speech by Barack Obama and a speech by Teresa May. Which of the two sounds convincing and natural to listen to?

PART 2

HOW TO UNDERSTAND BODY: INTERPRET THE MOST COMMON SIGNALS

CHAPTER 2: WHAT IS NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION?

Nonverbal communication is difficult to define. Ray Birdwhistell claimed, “Studying nonverbal communication is like studying physiology with no heart.” For that reason, it is difficult to propose a single definition of it. Using the general and accepted definition of communication (sender, receiver, and messages) we can accept that any behavior is considered communication.

Characteristics

Nonverbal communication is omnipresent and multifunctional.

It can lead to misunderstandings.

It has phylogenetic and ontogenetic primacy.

It can express what is not said verbally.

It is reliable.

In humans, non-verbal communication is frequently paralinguistic; that is, it accompanies verbal information by shading it, expanding it, or sending contradictory signals.

When we talk (or listen), our focus is on words rather than body language, although our judgment includes both. An audience is simultaneously processing the verbal and nonverbal aspects.

The movements of the body are not generally positive or negative in themselves, rather, the situation and the message will determine its evaluation.

Gestural and Body Language

Body communication, evolutionarily before structured verbal language, is an essential part of the human communication system and that of many primates. In modern humans, nonverbal language makes paralinguistic sense and is important in many human communicative exchanges that adequately complement verbal discourse. It is mentioned that gestures transmit moods and the bio-psychic situation of a person, such as their degree of stress or fatigue.

Some authors point out that success in communication depends on the correct and proper functioning of all components of the communication system. We start from the conviction that being understood by a small or large number of people is an art that can be learned to the extent that several resources are known and implemented by the sender; in this case, the monitor, the transmission of the message, and its correct assimilation by the receivers will be favored.

Look

The look is an important aspect of nonverbal communication since it complements verbal information by corroborating it or clarifying its content. In most conversations between human beings, there is remarkable eye contact. In children, the lack of eye contact is frequently associated with lies, distortions, and other interesting psychological facts. It can also point to autism. In public communication, very persistent eye contact can cause restlessness and nervousness in the person speaking, or the audience.

On the other hand, the look serves to interact and mark the word shifts in a conversation. Before answering a question, it is common to look away. The gaze also serves to establish the duration of the word shift. Many of the gestures and attitudes are derived from an unconscious behavior, although they are acquired in childhood and are not innate. Children gradually learn to distinguish between a mocking look, a look of surprise, and a challenging look, etc. Finally, the time for which the gaze is maintained can also help to know what the interlocutor thinks. Thus, an insecure or nervous person is unable to keep his gaze fixed on his interlocutor for a long period. Also, talking about personal issues decreases (or even causes loss of) eye contact.

The look is a basic technique of nonverbal communication in the field of communication. In this communicative field, we have studied the existence of three levels to which we can direct the gaze according to what we want to convey:

Low or Ground Level

This is when the gaze is directed to an area near the ground or on the ground. This type of look conveys feelings related to the earth in semiotic terms. Self-assimilation is typical of this level, suggesting that the sender is having an internal conversation with himself. Other feelings related to this level are disgust, anger, and sadness.

Medium or Neutral Level

This is a gaze at the level of the emitter's eye or between the ground and sky. The issuer uses this level to give a sense of truthfulness and neutrality about the information that is he emitting. It is related to the truth, sincerity, or the feeling of trust that the sender intends to generate over the receiver. It is also used to express feelings related to the upper and lower level, reinforced with the veracity of the level. It is not so much an internal conversation of the sender with itself, but rather a direct and voluntary projection of nonverbal information to the recipient.

Upper or Aerial Level

The gaze is directed to an upper point of the middle level, closer to the sky. In semiotic terms, the feelings related to this level are joy and illusion. The gaze directed to heaven has historically been related to the gaze towards a magical world of gods and superstitions. We can also relate the look to the sky as an acceptance of the issuer of a superior figure, trying to convey humility or a request for mercy.

The Analysis of Nonverbal Communication Requires at Least Three Basic Criteria

Every nonverbal behavior is inevitably associated with the whole communication of the person. Even a single gesture is interpreted as a whole, not as something isolated by the members of the interaction.

The interpretation of nonverbal movements should be made in terms of their congruence with verbal communication. Normally the emotional intention is revealed by nonverbal movements, and intuitively we can feel the incongruity between them and what we are told verbally. Nonverbal communication needs to be congruent with verbal communication and vice versa so that total communication is understandable and sincere.

The last criterion of interpretation of the meaning of nonverbal communication is the need to place each nonverbal behavior in its communicational context.

CHAPTER 3: HOW TO

READ FACIAL EXPRESSIONS

Some people have just too much ego to allow their true facial expressions to be shown. When a particular matter has clearly hurt them and that they are undergoing immense pain on the inside, their big egos do not let them reveal such details. These are the kinds of people who suffer in silence, and within a couple of days you may get information that they did something more harmful—suicide for example.

There is also a category of people who hide their facial expressions, not because they want to do so, but because they just do not know how to overcome negative emotions. As negativity builds up from the inside and starts to show in the face, they devise ways to hide any negative expressions to lock you out from analyzing them. They want to look happy when, in reality, they are sad. They want you to see that they are having a good time, but in reality, there is a sickness or issue that has been stressing them for months now. We all know that negative emotions can lead to frowning, which essentially makes a person seem not so approachable or appealing. Thus, in an attempt to retain their attractiveness, they conceal any negative facial expression.

In other cases, people may hide their facial expressions just to please. These are the people who believe in the philosophy that what you do not know cannot hurt you. Their idea is that when they keep information from you, you may still have a happy life. Thus, when they speak to you, they will struggle to build a certain kind of facial expression that conveys the message that all is well while, even though this is far from the truth. Let’s say, for example, one of your best friends gets some bad news from the doctor that they have cancer and that they have only a few years with you. They love you so much and know how devastating such news could be to you. In order to save you all the pain, they may choose to struggle with the pain on their own, believing that if you do not know about it, you will have a happy life. Whenever they speak with you, they will do their best not to let you into the inside. From their facial expressions, they will be smiling for you, while only they know the agony they are experiencing. You have the responsibility of decoding this so that you get the message they are trying to lock inside.

5 Signs Someone Is Faking Facial Expressions

1. Taking a Deep Breath

This is a technique that seems to be universal amongst all people who express untrue facial expressions. You will often see them continuously breathe in and out heavily in the midst of their explanations. This is because they know that for you to believe the facial expression they just wore to impress you, they have to appear calm. That is what the deep breathes are meant to do—take in more oxygen so that they can recollect their composure and be cool. If you do not pick up on the breathing pattern, they may succeed in the deception.

2. Putting On a Fake Smile

A smile doesn’t mean someone is happy at all times. Someone who smiles and has a bubbly look on their face can win hearts and affection. As a result, many assume that with just the right smile, they will be able to hide feelings like anger or sadness. But a fake smile will always be fake. It may convince some people at first glance, but a keen individual will soon realize this smile is fake. How well you know the individual could guide you into distinguishing between the smile they just put on and their real happy smile. But even if you do not know them that well, their inability to sustain the smile will eventually prove it fake.

3. Trying Not to Support the Head

There is something about ‘cooked’ facial expressions that makes the head heavy. People who understand the technique of hiding facial expressions know this. Thus, they always try to make sure that their head is held up high to better deceive you. When you pick up on this, there will be occasions when they can no longer hold the head up and end up burying the face in their palms for some seconds before realizing that they may show you they are lying. Careful analysis of the struggles not to support the head could reveal to you that they are faking their facial expression.

4. Struggling to Relax the Face

A relaxed face can easily build up a deceiving facial expression. When you speak to someone, and at one moment their face is relaxed and the next moment it is not, that is a sign of a problem. This shows that they may have tried to relax it up to a certain point when they could do it no more. There is something here; take a deep look at their face, and you shall see the truth.

5. Silent Lip Movements

To become calm, some people speak to themselves. They may say something like, “Calm down, you can do this. Just stay cool.” If you are not careful, they may actually succeed in being calm and creating a falsified facial expression. Through a keen look at the lip movements, you may tell that the person has more things that they are hiding under their facial expressions.

Monitor Body Language

Communication is a combination of tonal variation, body language, and spoken words. Of these three, body language is the most important element that determines how the message is passed across. To get the message, you need to embrace body language from a neutral perspective. Don’t anticipate anything. In an attempt to analyze someone, you might go overboard and overthink the message.

It is advisable that you relax, observe, and allow your subject to express themselves comfortably and freely. Allow your subject the same freedom of expression that you need to interact with them and understand them well.

There are a few things you need to pay attention to that can help you analyze their actions and body language and decipher the message in their communication better. Here are some of the things you should look at:

Posture

To analyze someone, you must take note of on their posture. There are subtle messages you can identify from someone’s posture, like confidence, self-esteem, and ego. These have an effect on the message passed across or the inferences drawn from the message.

Appearance

Appearance matters when communicating with someone. It can influence your perception of the recipient or their message. Many people will assume someone is deeply spiritual if they show up in Buddhist attire, casual if they have a T-shirt and jeans on, and professional if they are in a power suit. By their clothing and appearance, you are already biased about their personality, hence the message you expect from them.

Motion

Physical movements can also influence the way you analyze someone. Some of the things you should focus on are subtle, but they can tell you so much. Someone who feels under pressure can pick their cuticles or bite their lips in a bid to ease the situation or to overcome an awkward moment.

This might not apply all the time, but in most cases, when someone is not forthcoming about something, they tend to put their hands behind their back, on their lap or in their pocket.

Anger, defensiveness, or need for self-preservation is portrayed when someone folds their arms and legs. Look keenly, and you might also notice that people tend to lean toward those they feel more comfortable with or those they like and further away from their foes. It is amazing how such simple reactions can tell you so much about someone even without them uttering a word.

Facial Expressions

While it is easy to hold back from saying something, it is not easy to hide facial expressions. Facial expressions can also tell you a lot about someone’s reaction. Someone who is overthinking a situation or worried might have deep frown lines. Contempt and anger are associated with pursed lips. The same can also be expected of a bitter person. In a tense moment, many people will grind their teeth or clench their jaws.

Emotional Attunement

Ever heard someone say you give off positive or negative vibes? This is true. Emotions express your energy about someone or something. When you are around them, you feel either good or bad. Some people drain your energy while others make you feel vibrant. The energy might be invisible, but it has a profound impact on your perception of someone, which also affects the way you analyze them.

To sense someone’s energy, notice how you feel when talking to them. Do you feel comfortable in their presence, or do you want to back off? Look at their eyes. You can tell whether someone is angry or content by looking at their eyes when they speak to you.

Another feature you should look at is the tonal variation. From someone’s tone, you can tell whether they are annoyed or happy. You can also tell how their mood changes from their tone.

Intuitive Approach

Intuition is about gut feeling. This goes beyond the spoken word and body language. Intuition rises above everything you might have read or heard about someone. It is about what you feel about them the moment you meet them.

During your first meeting with someone, how easy are you around them? Gut feeling is a primal method your body uses to determine whether you can trust someone or not. After your gut feeling, think about whether you got goosebumps. Goosebumps represent striking a chord with someone or a sign that you resonate with someone who inspires you even if you have never met them before.

CHAPTER 4: THE EYES

The eyes are said to be the windows to our soul and our thoughts. There is so much that you can tell just by looking at a person’s eyes and the various movements that they make.

To Be a Stellar Analyzer, Follow the Steps Below

1. Establish Your Reason for Wanting to Analyze Someone

Do you want to know whether they are lying to you or are you trying to validate their authenticity? It doesn’t matter if you are dealing with a stranger or not. The rules are the same.

2. Baseline the Eyes

The baseline process involves establishing how a person’s eyes behave in a normal and non-threatening situation. Do this by asking about casual and neutral topics such as what they think about the weather, what they would like to drink, as well as movie and hobby preferences. The baselining questions should be no-brainers and something that nobody would really lie about. Take note of how the eyes behave as you are having this talk, and you have your baseline.

3. Look for Any Signs of Eye Deviation from the Baseline

For instance, if you are on a first date, keep tabs on the conversations and topics that make the other party’s eyes deviate from the baseline. These are potential red-flags, and you may want to dig a little deeper. Psychologists and the FBI use this tactic all the time, and they are able to establish which questions they need to dig deeper on.

Baseline deviations can take the form of:

Eye blocking. Eye blocking often happens when a person feels threatened, or when they are repulsed by something they see or hear. This is an indication of a very uncomfortable situation, mostly due to disbelief or innate disagreement. Some people display eye blocking by rapid blinking while others take to rubbing the eyes. Learning to read eye blocking can help you realize when you have repulsed people, enabling you to make it up or change the topic immediately.

Many years ago, I was out on a date with a person that I really liked and felt an instant chemistry with. As we got to know each other, I said something demeaning about people who opted for a divorce rather than staying and fighting for their marriage. I was trying to come off as a keeper, and I missed his sudden change of demeanor, which involved a lot of eye rubbing. Turns out he had married young and had already been divorced once. Needless to say, we never went out for a second date. If I had known what I know now, I could have potentially saved the situation.

Squinting. People will often squint if they do not like you or something that you are saying. This behavior is similar to eye-blocking, and you should address it quickly or clarify whatever it is that you have said before it gets worse.

Eye positions. Understanding eye positions is immensely important in the analysis process, and it will tell you a lot with minimum effort.

You can analyze these eye movements when doing cross-examinations, interviews, or generally when a person is talking to you. From this analysis, you can tell whether a person is lying to you or not.

Right eye movements are associated with truth, while left eye movements are associated with lies/making things up. You must realize that human beings will always have a strong desire to be liked and accepted, and sometimes creating a façade of who they want to be seems like the best option. Regardless of the content through which you are analyzing a person, knowing this technique will help you know who you are really dealing with.

When a person is talking about a past event, they often rely on stored memories that they can vividly remember and describe. The memories are said to be on the left side of the brain, and that is why eye movements are to their upper left (your right if you are directly facing them). However, if a person is just being deceptive and has to come up with a fake story, the eyes will shift to your left. The same applies when they are talking about remembered sounds such as conversations they claim to have had in the past.

When a person is having an internal dialogue/debate, they will most likely glance toward the lower left. However, remembering a feeling will have them glancing toward the lower right

Movement of the eyes is considered to be one of the most accurate methods of analyzing a person/situation, although it is not fool proof. You have to pay very close attention to the movements and put them in the context of the discussion to avoid making wrong judgments. In most cases, you have to associate the movement with the exact word or sentence that a person is saying. Consider the following scenario:

A person may be telling the truth about an incident and add bits of lies in between. For example, a statement like “I graduated in business and commerce from Harvard University” may have two parts. It may be true that indeed the person graduated in business and commerce, with the only exception being that they did not attend Harvard. If you are keen enough, you may notice the sudden shift in eye movements which will be red flags. If you are not sure about what you have observed, it is prudent to ask to follow-up questions. For example, you can ask the person to tell you all about Harvard and what their experience was in the institution. Such a question requires a lengthy answer, and you will be able to observe eye movements much more accurately at this point.

Sideway Glances. When a person is giving sideways glances, it is often an indication that they are uncertain, and often an indication of nervousness. You may want to ask to follow-up questions since this may be a sign of deception. Again, it really depends on the context of the conversation since most people are prone to making sideways glances when they are withholding certain information. Maybe they just don’t trust you.

In most cases, you will only make credible inferences when you understand what all the eye movements mean and connect them to the context of the conversation. Remember, if you are not sure, the best thing to do is to ask more follow-up questions and analyze more signs.

CHAPTER 5: THE MOUTH

Nonverbal Behavior of the Lips

Lip Compression

Have you ever watched the recordings of someone testifying before a judge or Congress? You will likely notice an eerie similarity in the way the person’s lips seem to disappear during those moments. When we are faced with stress, we often make our lips disappear unconsciously as a way of shutting ourselves off from the world. Lip compression is a vivid sign that the person is troubled or something has gone wrong.

Mind you, this behavior doesn’t necessarily show deception. Sometimes, when the person is in a high level of discomfort, the corners of the lips might turn downward. You should also know that it is hard, perhaps impossible, to fake this gesture.

The Lip Purse

When people disagree with what you are saying, they are likely to purse their lips. It could also mean that they are either considering what is being said or searching for an alternative to your offer. Knowing this gesture will help you to modify and present your case.

To know if the lip-purse gesture stems from disagreement or the person searching for an alternative option, you need to consider the ongoing conversation to pick additional cues. The lip purse is rarely faked, and you should give it special attention when you notice it in those you are interacting with.

Tongue Display

There are numerous tongue signals that can give you an insight into what people are feeling. For instance, people’s lips become dry when they are stressed, and they tend to moisten their lips by licking them. Also, people tend to run their tongue across their lips as a way to calm themselves during discomfort. It is also common to see people stick out their tongues at someone they feel like antagonizing. It is usually a sign of insecurity when people lick their lips while pondering their options.

Let’s examine the tongue-jutting behavior that occurs in various contexts. This is a universal gesture that you will observe anywhere in the world.

I’m sure you are trying to conjure up a mental image of this gesture. Don’t worry if you can’t since you will get a clear picture as we proceed. The tongue-jutting gesture is seen in interviews, restaurants, meetings, and even in gambling rooms. It is often done at the conclusion of a deal or when you think you have the upper hand in a transaction. The gesture has several meanings. For instance, it translates to “I got caught again,” gleeful excitement, “I did something foolish,” or “I’m naughty.”

In business discussions, you often see the tongue-jutting behavior when one person feels he has gotten away with something. So, if you see this expression, ask yourself what could have triggered it. Perhaps you have been cheated or fooled.

Smiles and Laughter: The World’s Most Irresistible Gestures

Children are often told by their parents to put a big smile on their face when their cousins come over for Christmas. We also learn the art of faking laughter to cover up embarrassing moments. We have integrated so many gestures into our daily routine that help us navigate different situations.

Smiles have the ability to evoke positive emotions at an intuitive level. It’s a common tool used to disarm people.

When we probe deeper into the significance of such smiles, we often find a whole different type of meaning. You need to know that the zygomaticus muscle, which is responsible for the smile gesture, can be consciously controlled. Smiles can be faked!

How to Differentiate Between Real and Fake Smiles

To an person inexperienced in reading body language, it’s difficult to differentiate between a real and fake smile. One of the major reasons for this is that when a person smiles, our defense usually comes down, and this makes us powerless in telling the difference between a real and fake smile. So how can we tell the difference in order not to fall prey to those who would manipulate us through the smile?

There is another muscle referred to as the orbicularis oculi, which controls the corners of the eye. It acts independently and reveals the sincerity of a real smile. So, the first place to check a real smile is to look at the wrinkles in the corner of the eye. A sincere smile creates wrinkle lines at the corner of the eye, while a fake smile involves just the widening of the lips.

The Smile Leniency Concept

The smile leniency concept is a tool used by people, especially transgressors, to disarm dangerous situations. According to Dale Carnegie, the author of How to Win Friends and Influence People, people believe that smiling can not only help you win friends but also influence people.

For example, applicants smile more in a job interview to boost their chances of getting the job. People smile more when they are trying to get others’ approval.

The smile-leniency effect, when applied by transgressors in a court of law, can result in a less severe sentence since the transgressor is more likely to come across as likable and nonthreatening. So why does this effect have such an impact on others?

This concept is a sign of deference, apology, and submissiveness, all rolled into a charming smile. People who don’t want to seem weak or submissive often move around without a smile in a bid to look grumpy and aggressive.

Five Common Types of Smiles

While it’s easy to detect a fake smile, we often have difficulty deciphering the types of smiles that we come across every day. Let’s take a look at the five basic types of smiles:

Tight-Lipped Smile

This is the type of smile you put on when you have something to hide. In this gesture, the lips are stretched tight against the face without showing the teeth. This gesture is a favorite of women, and it shows they have a contrary opinion that they’d rather not say.

Interestingly, other women are quick to detect these signals, while men often remain oblivious to them. For instance, a woman might say another woman is capable and strong while maintaining a tight-lipped smile. She secretly harbors thoughts that the other woman is bitchy and controlling.

You will also observe this gesture in successful businessmen who look as if they hold the key to success but aren’t willing to divulge it. Conversely, some successful businessmen like Richard Branson walk around with a wide toothy grin and are glad to explain the secret of their successes because they know most people won’t attempt it.

Twisted Smile

This gesture reveals only one thing—sarcasm. This is a smile used to show contrasting emotions on the face. For instance, the left cheek, left zygomaticus muscles, and the left side of the eyebrows might be pulled up by the right side of the brain to form a smile while the muscles of the right side of the face are pulled downward by the left side of the brain.

What we have here is a contrasting emotion on each side of the face—i.e., one side of the brain features a cheesy grin while the other part forms a smile. This gesture is usually accurate, and it’s a good indication that the other person is using sarcasm against you.

The Drop-Jaw Smile

The drop-jaw smile is a feigned gesture meant to boost happy reactions in people. You often see this gesture on Bill Clinton and the Joker in Batman. It is a practiced gesture that involves dropping the lower jaw to give an impression of laughter or playfulness.

Sideways-Looking-Up Smile

This coy smile gesture has been known to generate widespread empathy for women, especially from men, since it evokes their parental nature to protect and care for females.

This involves slightly turning the head downwards and away while looking up with a tight-lipped smile. This gesture creates a smile effect that looks secretive, coy, and juvenile.

People like the late Princess Diana were able to use this gesture effectively to captivate the hearts of those around her. It’s an important courtship gesture used by women to attract men. It is analyzed as a seductive and “come on” gesture. Interestingly, this same smile is used by Princess Diana’s son, Prince William, which not only reminds people of Diana but also melts their hearts.

What to Do When There Are Mixed Signals

Sometimes we don’t say what we are thinking, but the face betrays our innermost thoughts. For instance, someone who’s consistently looking at the nearest exit while walking with you is giving you clues that he would rather be somewhere else. I call these ‘intention cues.’

Other times, we say something and believe otherwise. This brings us to a general rule about observing and analyzing words and emotions by looking at the facial expressions. Whenever you are confronted with mixed signals from the face (such as anxiety signals along with happiness clues, displeasure displays alongside pleasure behavior) or if the nonverbal facial behavior is not in coherence with the verbal statement, always pick the negative emotion as the more honest and accurate of the two.

In this case, the negative sentiment is the more genuine and accurate of the person’s emotions and feelings. You might wonder, “Why side with the negative emotions?” The answer lies in the fact that our immediate reaction to an objectionable situation is always accurate, and we quickly attempt to mask it with some socially acceptable behavior. So, when confronted with mixed signals, rely more on the negative emotion, especially if it’s the first.

Here’s a tip before we move on—it is possible for you to be confused about the significance of a person’s facial expression. When you find yourself in this situation, try to copy the facial expression and see how it makes you feel.

And don’t bank all your judgments on the facial expression alone since it can mislead. Rather, look for clusters of the body language and assess it in the context of the person’s circumstance and environment.

CHAPTER 6: INTERPRETING

BODY GESTURES

There are actually two ways to deliver a message when you are engaged in a conversation. Of course, the usual way is simply by talking; however, there is another way that is also as effective but is often overlooked, and that is through the use of gestures. Gestures as small acts that you do while you talk. By learning how to read gestures, it is even possible to say whether the person you are talking to is lying or not. Gestures may also reveal the current mental and emotional state of a person. As they say, “actions speak louder than words.” Indeed, if you want to master the art of manipulation, then learning how to use, as well as read, gestures are very important.

Take note that a gesture is not limited to the movements of the hand or crossing of the arms. It can also involve such small and often neglected movements with the eyes. If you want to stress something strongly, it is suggested that you say it while looking directly into a person’s eyes. Also, leaning slightly forward while placing your hand on your chin and nodding your head shows that you are eagerly listening to the other person as he talks. Snapping your fingers is also often used to show that you have just realized something. As you can see, there are so many gestures that you can do. Gestures add more energy and give more expression, which makes the conversation more interesting.

Learning how to interpret gestures is also important. Again, the key to manipulating a subject is having a good understanding of your subject. The crossing of the arms and/or legs usually shows a defensive posture. It may show that the other person is not being open and relaxed. Covering one’s mouth, as well as touching the ear, may mean the person is lying. If you want to know what a certain gesture means, a good piece of advice is to do the gesture yourself and be open to how it makes you feel.

Of course, there is always the possibility for gestures to be interpreted in a different way. For example, just because a person rubs his nose as he tells you something does not always mean that he is lying to you. However, although gestures may be hard to decode at times, they will allow you to have a better insight and understanding of a person.

What if the person you are talking to does not use gestures? Indeed, you cannot compel someone to express themselves with gestures as they talk. Also, to be real and authentic, gestures must come naturally. Most of the time, when a person remains calm and still, it is a sign that you need to do more to penetrate his defenses. Once you are able to get into his mind, he will be more open, and will naturally use gestures as he talks to you. To do this, simply make him more relaxed and encourage openness.

CHAPTER 7: BODY POSTURE

The same way you train a dog to listen to your body language and cues, you can train a human being to follow you without question. The first step to control those around you lies in analyzing them, however, which is why this will discuss how to analyze people based on their body language.

Positive Body Language

There is a chance that you or someone you are observing is feeling insecure and trying to mask it. However, if you are not dealing with a melancholic personality, you might be dealing with a choleric personality. Everyone has heard the phrase “fake it until you make it.” This is the dogma of the choleric personality type. Whether they were cut out for something or not, they will not give up easily.

If you are confronting this type of personality, the mere act of uncrossing your arms or legs should give you a little confidence. Add to that a genuine smile for the next person that you encounter and watch as they lighten up a bit in response. It might take a little practice, but this type of body language gives you control of the situation.

Understanding Eye Contact: This one can be tricky as it is easy to misinterpret, but long eye contact is almost always meaningful in some way, shape, or form. If a person can look at you without looking away for more than a few seconds, then usually they are confident around you and are likely to be genuine. This is likely to be your phlegmatic personality type; one who is displaying a little bit of awkward shyness. They will notice you scanning the room, but do not count on them calling you out on this.

Typically, eye contact can make you look interested and says a lot about the person you are dealing with. If you find yourself being stared at by a person, you are likely dealing with a sanguine personality. This personality type is an observer and tends to be the sincerest of the four. Looking people in the eye is their way of proving those qualities.

Depending on the situation, you might look down and away out of shyness. When people are shy, they are deemed innocent. Phlegmatic personalities are really good at this as well. You want to seem innocent, no matter what your intentions are, and the best choice for drawing other people in is to keep them interested. Since you want people to trust you, you have to get close enough to analyze what type of personality you are dealing with.

If the other party looks away and down, and then back up at you, take advantage of this opportunity to consider them more closely. This is a sign of vulnerability which means they trust you, so you are free to do with that trust what you may. This is often a good time to ask them about themselves or offer something personal to break the ice. Compliments are always a good choice as it is hard to dislike someone who has recently paid you a compliment.

Smile: The most important asset anyone has is their smile. If you are walking down the street and someone gives you a genuine smile, it can change your day. That is the power you want to carry around with you. This is the gift of most sanguine personality types. They are cheerful on the outside and can easily make people laugh. Faking a smile is hard. The truth of any smile lies in the eyes. Pay careful attention to the lines that form when the cheeks rise as the evidence of a genuine smile.

If you ask someone to do something and they decline, smile anyway; they will feel bad for saying no. Depending on their reaction, you could say it again in a different way and in a cartoonish voice (humor), and follow up with a serious voice. Ask for the favor again by adding another smile. This is best used in social situations and is to be avoided at work, unless you are super cool with your co-workers or if you are sure you are dealing with a sanguine personality.

If your co-worker or boss displays a dislike for emotions or seems impatient, you could be dealing with a choleric personality. You will need to make it seem like they are the leader. You’re pushing boundaries, but you don’t want anyone to recognize this game. No matter how it ends, do not give too much of a reaction. If you are too happy, it could kill the vibe. The same is true if you are too upset; just smile. You will not be able to change your own personality type as the theory is that you were born that way. However, by knowing more about yourself, you can control the display or even master your weaknesses to have influence or get close enough to other people that you may sincerely analyze them.

Negative Personality Cues

Now that you have a basic understanding of positive body language, let us take the opportunity to dig into the negative cues often given by different personality types. Sometimes even the most trustworthy and genuine people can give off signals of distress through body cues, so it is important to take them with a grain of salt to avoid being misled.

If you find someone who is trying to discourage you, or they are judging you, it is likely that their personality is phlegmatic. If the negativity you are picking up on is coming from someone who is demanding attention or seems phony, you are amidst a sanguine personality type. You want to recognize the difference and how to respond to either situation to achieve a goal, whether that is to cheer someone up so you can enjoy their company, or perhaps get away from someone who seeks to destroy your aura. Either way, practice makes perfect, and observing takes a lot of it.

Personal space: If someone moves away from you, this is often a sign that they believe you either did something wrong or you represent something negative to them.

This mentality applies to all four personality types. It hurts to feel rejected. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, move back into their realm if you want to change the vibe.

Body Language and Posture

Posture and general movement can also express a great deal of information. Our knowledge of body language has developed considerably since prehistoric days, however, well-known media have concentrated on the over-interpretation of protective postures, arm, and leg crossing. While these nonverbal acts can show thoughts and attitudes, studies indicate that body language is far more restrained and less perfect than previously believed.

Personal Space

Individuals often refer to the need for personal space, which is a vital element of nonverbal communication. The level of space people need and the level of space people tend to perceive as belonging to them are swayed by several factors comprising social models, intellectual potential, situational aspects, personality distinctiveness, and level of knowledge. For instance, the amount of individual space required when having an informal talk with another person frequently varies from one to four feet. On the contrary, the individual distance required when talking to a group of people is approximately eight to twelve feet.

Eye Gaze

The human eyes play an important role in nonverbal communication, and such aspects as staring, looking, and blinking are considered significant nonverbal acts.

When people meet someone or something that they adore, the pace of blinking goes up and pupils enlarge. On the other hand, staring at another individual may show a variety of emotions including hostility, concern, and desirability.

People use eye gaze as a way to conclude if someone is being sincere. Fixed eye contact is frequently taken as an indication that someone is telling the truth and is dependable. Deceitful eyes and failure to maintain eye contact is often a pointer that somebody is being dishonest or misleading.

Haptics

Communicating via touch is another essential element of nonverbal conduct. There have been considerable amounts of study on the significance of touch in childhood and infancy. For instance, a baby raised by a negligent mother experiences a lasting deficit in conduct and social relations. Touch is used to communicate love, awareness, compassion, and other related emotions.

Touch is also used to communicate both position and authority. Researchers have established that high-status persons tend to attack other people's individual space with superior rate and strength than lower-status persons. Gender differences also play a part in how individuals use touch to bring out the intended meaning.

Appearance

People’s preference of color, outfits, hairstyles, and other aspects affecting appearance are also regarded as a method of nonverbal communication. Research has confirmed that diverse colors might suggest different personal moods. In addition, appearance might also change physiological responses, judgments, and understanding. Think about all the judgments people rapidly make about somebody based on their look. These initial impressions are vital, that is why specialists propose that work seekers dress properly for interviews with prospective employers.

Researchers have also established that appearance plays a part in how individuals are viewed and even how much money they make. For example, a study established that attorneys who were perceived as more attractive than their workmates earned more than those viewed as less good-looking. Culture also has a significant sway on how appearances are viewed. While slenderness tends to be respected in Western cultures, a number of African cultures associate full-figured people with superior health, prosperity, and social class.

Objects

Items and images are also as tools that can be deployed to communicate nonverbally. On an online discussion, for instance, people might pick an avatar to symbolize their distinctiveness and to share information concerning who they are and the things they adore. People frequently spend a huge amount of time creating a particular picture and surrounding themselves with items intended to transmit information regarding the things that are important to them. Uniforms, for instance, may be applied to convey a marvelous amount of information regarding an individual. A warrior puts on fatigues, a police officer dresses in uniform, and a physician wears in a white lab coat. A simple glance at this attire tells everybody what an individual does as an occupation.

CHAPTER 8: BREATHING

There are different ways you can read someone’s body language. It can be read by their leg and arm movements, facial expressions, eye contact, or smiles. But do you realize that how a person breathes has meaning too?

Emotions and how you breathe are connected. If a person’s emotions change, the way they breathe might be affected. See if you can notice breathing patterns in your family, friends, coworkers, or significant other.

Deep Breathing Might Indicate Excitement, Attraction, Anger, Fear, or Love. Deep breathing is the easiest pattern to notice. If somebody suddenly starts to hold their breath, they might be feeling a little scared. If someone takes a deep breath and then shouts, they could be angry. People who are experiencing shock might suck in a deep breath. They might also take in a deep breath and hold it for a few seconds. If their eyes start to glow, this might indicate that they are surprised or excited. A person might start to breathe deeply if they feel an attraction toward another person. You may notice someone take a deep breath in, suck in their stomach, and push their chest out to try and impress somebody they are attracted to.

Sighing Might Signal Hopelessness, Sadness, or Relief. When you sigh, you are letting out a deep, long breath that you can hear. Somebody might sigh if they are feeling relieved after a struggle has passed. They are thankful that their struggle is over. A sign might show sadness or hopelessness, like somebody who is waiting for a date to show up. It could also show tiredness and disappointment.

Rapid, Heavy Breathing Might Show Fear and Tiredness. You may have just seen a person rob a place, and the police are chasing them. You notice they are breathing rapidly. This is because their lungs need more oxygen since they are exerting so much energy. After all, they are running. Their bodies feel tired, and their lungs are trying their best to keep up. We feel the same effects when we feel scared. This happens when we experience fear; our lungs need more oxygen, so we begin to breathe faster. You can easily see when somebody has been scared or running by noticing the way they are breathing.

Another interesting fact about breath is that smells can influence breathing. Any odors that are tied to emotions can change a person’s respiration rate. Several studies have shown that the body will respond to bad and good smells by breathing differently. If you were to smell something rotten, you would end up breathing in a shallow and rapid manner. But, if, instead, you smelled baking bread and roses, your breath would be slow and long. The really interesting part of this is that the breathing rate will change before the brain has ever been able to consciously register if the smell is good or bad.

According to Scientific American, smells are extremely associative. We started learning about these different smells in the womb, and then during our lives, our brains learn to refine our views of emotional rewards, pleasures, and threats that are contained within a certain odor. If a person breathes deeply, they feel that something is safe, creating a pleasurable emotional state. If you notice a person’s breathing rate suddenly changes, let your sense of smell catch up first. It could be that they have gotten a whiff of something they either like or dislike.

The interesting thing is that while we can learn how people feel based on how they are breathing, the way a person breathes can also affect their emotions. In a 2006 study published in Behavior Response & Therapy, they discovered that undergraduates who practiced slow breathing exercises for 15 minutes had a more positive and balanced emotional response afterward than the group faced with 15 minutes of unfocused worrying and attention.

And it doesn’t even have to do with just being calm. French scientist Pierre Phillipot asked some study participants to identify the pattern of breath that they connected with certain emotions such as sadness and joy. He then asked a separate group of people to breathe in a certain manner, and probed their emotions. The results were amazing. If the subjects were told to breathe in a particular manner, even if they were unaware of it, they felt the associated emotion, apparently out of nowhere.

I want to share one more way you can use a person’s breath to tell how they feel. This is something that you can’t readily do, but it is still interesting.

A new idea that is being studied is that what you exhale also plays a role in emotional response. Chemically analyzed exhalations can be used to determine how a person felt. An article from Science News claims the air's chemical makeup within a soccer stadium varies when people begin cheering, and the same is true in movie theaters. They studied 9500 people as they watched 16 different films that ranged from rom-coms to horrors, and then studied the air composition of the room to see if it changed during certain scenes that were rather emotional in one way or the other.

The crazy thing is that it did. In suspenseful moments, there were more CO2 and isoprenes in the air, which are chemicals associated with muscles tensing. Every type of emotion came with its distinct chemical makeup.

Facial Microexpressions

Learning to decode facial expressions is similar to having superpowers. The face, with all its subtle expressions, which are called microexpressions, could be a window into a person’s soul. Knowing how to read them can help you to understand a lot about how someone is feeling.

Methods of Nonverbal Analysis

To perform any nonverbal behavior analysis, you have to use techniques that can help you describe the behavior in a way it can be trusted. Scientific analysis helps you:

To identify a person’s weaknesses and strengths during normal relations.

To expose lies by using a combination of facial and verbal expressions.

To anticipate a person’s behavior.

To identify another person’s state of mind and emotions.

It doesn’t take long to learn these techniques with an interactive and focused program based on specific exercises.

Scientific Based

The first text about emotional expressions was written by French neurologist, Guillaume Benjamin Amand Duchenne de Boulogne. This text was written in 1862 and demonstrated the method of using electrodes on the facial muscles to establish their relationship between the facial muscles' movements and the subsequent emotional expression. To honor him, a true, authentic smile can sometimes be called the Duchenne smile.

Charles Darwin wrote the Expressions of the Emotions in Man and Animals in 1872. In this, he says that emotions are just another evolutionary product and are inherited. Body and facial expressions go hand in hand with emotions and look to be the same in people who live in different parts of the world, and in other animals and primates. Darwin’s studies didn’t continue after he died because of the scientific community's hostility toward his theories. He was criticized for saying animals have emotions. According to his critics, only humans can feel things. His methods were based on observations rather than science.

This concept of emotional expressions being universal was furthered in the late 1950s. Researchers like Birdwhistell, Izard, Ekman, Ellsworth, and Friesen tried to validate Darwin’s theory. They worked together to develop a set of theories, tests, and methods that created the “Facial Expression Program.” They believed emotional expressions and emotional experiences come from a specific number of inherited neurological programs. We know now that there are specific paths for every emotion that causes a facial expression associated with that particular emotion. According to the Theory of Evolution, emotions have adaptive functions that let a human react through immediate responses to various stimuli for survival.

There Are Two Groups of Nonverbal Techniques

Decoding technique: This interprets and will give meaning to movements.

Coding technique: This describes the body and facial movements.

Facial Expression Techniques

ISFE or Interpretative System of Facial Expressions

Jasna Legisa developed this in the NeuroComScience laboratory in 2013. It is a table of what facial movements mean. It comprises a set of descriptions and tables that order and integrate facial expressions according to the emotions they are related to. This information was taken from existing literature and previous systems about this subject.

Other than secondary and primary emotional expressions, other facial signs get described as regulators, illustrators, and manipulators. According to Ekman, Izard, and Hjorstjo, emotional expressions get grouped into “big families.” These “families” include many facial expressions that, even though they mean slightly different things, get united because they receive the same emotional range. Within the “surprise” family, you will have an annoying surprise, fake surprise, real surprise, awe, and many more.

Primary emotional movements get put into three categories:

The first category includes muscular movements that belong to specific emotions.

The second category includes movements that might belong to primary emotions.

The third category includes minor variations to emotions that could be part of many emotional families.

These categorizations make the interpretation and accuracy of the whole analysis.

Mimicking Language and Man’s Face or the Hjorstjo Method

In 1969, an anatomy professor at Lund University located in Sweden, Hjorstjo, tried to systematically categorize certain facial movements with their meanings into eight emotional families. His handbook reports the decoding and coding of facial expressions, so it is possible to determine the facial muscle contractions either in combination or by themselves.

MAX or Maximally Discriminative Coding System

This system gives meaning to the facial movements instead of just describing them. Izard developed MAX in 1979. In 1983, he worked with Hembree and Dougherty to create an advanced version of MAX that was named AFFEX. The created facial configurations based on regular expressions of emotions like shame, disgust, pain, surprise, happiness, interest, fear, sadness, and anger. Basically, every emotion and expression gets classified.

EMACS or Emotional Facial Action Coding System

Friesen and Ekman worked to describe the expressions of six emotional families: fear, surprise, anger, disgust, sadness, and happiness. Hager has been working at Ekman’s laboratory since 1994, studying facial expressions by using a computer to identify their techniques. This database created the FACSAID or FACS Affect Interpretation Dictionary system.

Hanes

During the same year that the first version of FACS was published, the Hanest Manual was also published. The Hanest Manual was created by Gergerian and Emiane, who are two French scientists. It has the same goal as FACS – to describe facial movements.

FACS or Facial Action Coding System

In 1978, Vincent W. Friesen and Paul Ekman introduced FACS, or the Facial Action Coding System. In 2002, while working with Hager, they release another version.

BabyFACS or Baby Facial Action Coding System

The same structure that is used for adults can be used for small children and babies. In 1993, Oster looked at babies’ facial expressions and changed up the descriptions as needed. These are only descriptive and don’t give any meaning to the emotions.

CHAPTER 9: THE HANDS

We all talk with our hands often. For some people, the gesturing matches their message well. Some people do not deploy hand gestures, while others overuse hand gestures. Most hand gestures are universal. A person that does not use hand gestures may be seen as indifferent. For this reason, the audience may feel that one does not care about what the speaker is talking about. If your hands are hidden, then the audience will find it difficult to trust you. If one's hands are open and the palms wide enough, then the individual is communicating that he or she is being honest and open.

Randomly throwing hands in the air while talking may suggest that one is anxious or panicking. Extreme anger will also make one throw their hands up in an uncoordinated manner. For further understanding, take time and watch movie characters quarreling, and you will note that most people being accused of something will throw their hands in the air randomly. It is something that they have little control over because most body language happens at the subconscious level of the mind. Randomly throwing hands in the air indicates that one is overwhelmed with emotions or has given up defending their position in the argument and left the argument to the individual that started it.

Additionally, one may point at an object or a person. Pointing as a gesture helps the focus of the speaker and the audience. During your school days, you probably saw your teacher point in a particular direction without speaking until the students that were talking had to stop. As such, pointing at particular students drew the attention of the entire class to their direction, making them become the center of attention, and they had to do a quick self-evaluation and stop talking.

Furthermore, pointing while waving the index finger indicates a warning. When one points the index finger at someone and waves it up and down, then you are denoting a stern warning and judgment to the individual. It is the equivalent of saying, "this is the last warning." Your parent or teacher may have had a point and wave gesture to signal a warning that what you are doing was wrong and that you should stop. The finger signal singles out the individual and reduces the focus to just that one aspect of behavior that the speaker wants the target person to understand.

Relatedly, if one spreads all the fingers and holds them together against those of the opposite hand, it indicates strong personal reflection such as when praying or remembering a departed soul. The same gesture can be used when one is focusing the mind during meditation or yoga. The holding of each of your fingers against their peers of the other hand may also indicate feeling humble and thankful for everything. For instance, followers of the Catholic faith frequently use this gesture when praying. The gesture shows humility and thankfulness.

Sometimes one may tap on the head once or continuously. This indicates the individual is thinking hard or trying hard to recall something. Children often tap their heads once or continuously using one finger or the entire palm to signal attempts to recall something. The gesture is the equivalent of saying, "Come on, what was it?" or "Come on, what was the name again?"

Similarly, a fully raised palm with fingers spread may indicate that one should stop. When stopping a vehicle on the roadside, one raises one of their palms high. The same is true in the sporting environment where raising one palm commonly communicates that play should stop.

If one claps the palms together, it may indicate applauding the message or the speaker. When the speaker is done speaking, the audience may clap to mark appreciation of the message or of both the message and the speaker. However, when the hands are spontaneously and violently clapped, it is a message that the audience should stop because what they are doing is unethical or irritating. At home, one of your parents probably clapped their hands suddenly and violently to make you stop as well as draw attention to their presence, especially when you were playing loudly around the house.

Relatedly, if one interlocks the hands, this gesture indicates that one is attentive but uneasy. During an interview, meeting, or a class session, the audience is likely to interlock their fingers and fold them. In a way, the interlocking of the fingers is supposed to offer some form of assurance to the affected person that he or she is safe. One is likely to also use this gesture when he or she is mentioned negatively. Think of how you reacted when you were mentioned among noisemakers or workers having challenges following the rules of the company. Most probably, you interlocked your fingers.

Additionally, if one is feeling shy or uncertain, they are also likely to interlock their fingers and raise them when speaking. The gesture in this context appears as a sort of prop for the affected individual, enabling them to navigate the anxiety. The gesture in this context is not just about communicating the physiological status of the affected person but as a coping mechanism.

If one raises both hands behind the head and interlocks the fingers, then it is to act as a cushion for the head. The gesture is used to indicate that one is feeling casual, tired, or simply not tasked by the current conversation. The gesture may also indicate that the individual is feeling tired by the conversation or the activity. Think of how you react when feeling exhausted when talking to a friend or after watching a movie. You probably raised both of your hands behind the head and interlocked the fingers to act as a headrest. In most cases, when one invokes this gesture, the individual is likely to let the mind wander to escape the current conversation.

Correspondingly, there is the gesture where one lets one of their palms to brush down their face. The gesture is used to signal deeper thinking, processing new contradictory information, or accepting humiliation in front of the audience. The gesture suggests surrender. It indicates yielding to inner thoughts or views from the audience that one may have initially opposed.

To indicate rejection or strong disagreement, both hands with palms wide are waved in an alternating manner to create the letter X. In class, you probably drew the letter X using both hands to indicate that you disagreed with or rejected what was being proposed. As a kid, you probably drew letter X to signal that you would not follow instructions. The sign also indicates retreat to your inner world to avoid listening to or watching the speaker.

CHAPTER 10: THE CHEST AND SHOULDERS

While many people focus on facial expressions when making a judgment, the shoulders also play a certain role when it comes to body language.

Hunched Shoulders

When a person has hunched shoulders, usually with the arms crossed or tight and holding the body, it can mean they are feeling cold. It might also mean that the person is aloof.

Shoulders Curved Forward

When a person has curved their shoulders forward, you need to read something along the lines of them being defensive.

This usually happens when a person feels threatened.

Shoulders Pushed Back

Pushing the shoulders backward forces the chest to come out, which then exposes the torso.

This can be used to taunt you, showing power.

Shrug

The classic shrug usually means negation, and might be accompanied by other body movements, especially facial expressions.

The movement of the shoulder might not be much; it might be just a slight raising of the arms that you barely notice.

Shrugging usually indicates a sense of uncertainty or lack of understanding. Shrugging might show lying when it is more prolonged. You need to understand the context in which the shrug is being used to make a decision on whether it is positive or negative.

Clothes and Jewelry

Discussions around body language are often biased toward features like genuine smiles, pupil dilation, and crossed arms and legs. Most people ignore the importance of appearance and clothing. How you dress tells someone a lot about you and your perspective of them. If you are attending an event, your attire tells your audience what you think of the event or how seriously you take it.

On its own, appearance might not mean much to an audience. However, it sets the tone for everything else you might say. If your appearance contrasts the message that they expect from you, working your way up might be a tall order. If your appearance aligns with the message or theme that the audience expects, your work is relatively easier.

Clothing can project a low authority, high authority, or neutral image of yourself. When dressing, remember you are not doing it for yourself but for your audience. Consider the demographics and cultural expectations because it affects your message.

If you are meeting an international audience, it is advisable to consider cultural affiliations when dressing. It helps the audience embrace you better. At the same time, however, you should also ensure you are comfortable in your clothes. It would be pointless for you to go the extra mile only to end up uncomfortable and awkward.

Dressing right also affects your confidence. It empowers you and makes you feel good about yourself. You don’t feel out of place, in which case you would be in a hurry to get out of the situation you are in. Spare a few minutes on YouTube and find speeches President Obama delivered to working-class citizens. In most of these speeches, he didn’t have a jacket on and had his sleeves rolled up. Without uttering a word, he already conveyed a message to them that he is also working hard like they are. This sways the audience and makes it easier for him to address them.

The color of your clothes might be about what you feel that day or something else in your personal space, but it means a lot to your audience. Light colors represent flexibility, openness, fresh ideas, and a loud persona. Dark colors represent precision, calmness, and sophistication. Bright colors represent energy, responsiveness, cheer, and stimulation.

What about the prints on your clothes? Curved lines tell people you are approachable, romantic, graceful, and casual. Straight lines, on the other hand, give a picture of a formal individual; persuasive, strong, and crisp.

Of course, even though these might be true, context is still king.

CHAPTER 11: THE VITAL OR

PROXEMIC SPACE

Now, imagine that you are standing in front of someone. You can see that they are crossing their arms with hands hidden behind them, their eyes shifting nervously from you to veer off to the left now and then. They shift their weight from foot to foot and struggle to maintain eye contact. Something about the body language of this person makes you uneasy, but you cannot place it. They keep their distance from you, and every time you get closer, you notice that they move away.

Body language is good at making us feel on edge, offended, or relaxed, but if you do not know what you are reading, you will struggle to understand why you feel that way.

Proxemics refers to the distance between yourself and someone else—it is the usage of space between yourself and the world around you. Naturally, people put varying degrees of space between themselves and others. When you are looking to understand proxemics, the best way to do so is to consider it a judgment of the relationship between yourself and those around you. You can also judge others' relationships based on the distance they put between each other, both vertically and horizontally.

The Use of Vertical Space

Vertical space is the space relative to your position height-wise. When someone utilizes vertical space, they attempt to make themselves taller or shorter, depending on the context. Those who want to make themselves taller may want to be an authority or someone deserving of respect and compliance. They may even use this space when they are trying to look at others who are taller than them—they simply tilt their heads back to look down their nose at the taller person to create the same impact.

When you make yourself smaller, you typically want to be seen as less dominant for some reason. You may be attempting to shrink down to speak to a child to be understood truly, for example, or you may be lowering yourself to make yourself seem more submissive. People will pull their chins inward when they want to be smaller because they will then be required to look up through their eyelashes at the other person, even if the other person is taller.

The default, eye level, is deemed to be the most respectful—it marks you and the other person as equals deserving of the same respect and consideration.

The Use of Horizontal Space

In horizontal space, you are looking at how near or far people are to each other. You will use this when you are picking apart the relationships of others. There are four distances used between each other, ranging from intimate distances to public distance.

- Intimate Distance

This refers to being as close as possible to the other person. When you are in this position, you are usually touching without trying or are close enough to do so. It is typically only young children and parents, or lovers that are comfortable being this close to each other. Generally speaking, this zone is only about 18 inches away from you.

- Personal Distance

Slightly further away than the intimate distance, personal distance covers about 18 inches away up to about 5 feet around you. It is what people are talking about when they say that you are invading their personal bubbles. This zone is usually reserved for those you like or feel comfortable with, such as friends and family members, or children who are too old to be within the intimate zone. The closer you can get to the center, the closer your relationship with that other person.

- Social Distance

This is a bit further out. It is the distance you naturally try to maintain with strangers around you or when interacting with someone else you do not know. Typically, this is between about 5 and 10 feet. You will use this when you are out and about unless you have no choice. When you are forced to encroach on this distance, you will most often make it a point to ignore the other person in an attempt to ignore the fact that they are violating those personal boundaries, such as when sitting on the bus.

- Public Distance

This refers to anything beyond 12 feet and is reserved for instances in which you speak out toward a crowd. You want to be loud enough that everyone in the crowd can hear you, so you want to ensure that people are a bit further away from you. It is reserved for lectures in classrooms, for example, or performances.

CHAPTER 12: HOW TO UNDERSTAND BODY LANGUAGE: INTERPRET THE MOST HIDDEN SIGNALS (ADVANCED TECHNIQUES)

Making a deep, lasting, meaningful connection with others is something we all yearn for. We’re social creatures by nature, and we don’t do well in isolation. Loneliness is something we try to actively avoid, and therefore, there exists a necessity to form strong bonds with the people you surround yourself with. Everyone wants to feel that sense of belonging, but to achieve that, we need to be able to trust the people we’re with.

Your ability to effectively analyze someone has a big effect on how you deal with them. But you cannot achieve this without at least some understanding of your own behavior. As much as you learn to analyze others, you need to learn to analyze yourself too, looking at the way you interact and the body language signals you’re sending out to the rest of the world. What do those signals say about you? Are they the right signals that you want to send? There’s a lot to think about in behavioral analysis, both for yourself and others too.

NLP Techniques and Tools to Help You Analyze

Your Behavior

Neuro-Linguistic Programming, or NLP for short, was created in the 1970s by Richard Bandler and John Grinder in California. NLP has three components. The neuro component focuses on neurology, linguistic refers to language, and programming is about using neural language functions. NLP, in other words, means learning the language of your mind. Isn’t that interesting? NLP is now introduced in seminars and by companies looking to train their managers to enhance their skills in communication and better governance. But how does that help you understand your behavior? Let’s find out.

Imagine you’re in a foreign country on a holiday. You’re trying to communicate with a local who doesn’t speak your language. Try as you might, they can’t understand you, and likewise, you can’t understand them. If you’re sitting at a restaurant trying to order a meal, what you think you ordered and what comes to your table could be two very different things. The missing communication link and inability to understand each other causes immense confusion and sometimes frustration on both ends. That, however, is the kind of partnership most of us have with our subconscious mind. The same part of the mind responsible for body language.

NLP is meant to bridge the gap between your conscious and subconscious mind. It is about understanding what your brain is trying to tell you. Without this understanding, it would be challenging to connect to your thoughts, which makes it more difficult to regulate your behavior and body language. What you think and feel, and what you want to say, will be two different things. Like the restaurant scenario. You need NLP to help you connect with your mind and understand your thoughts in a way you never have before.

To regulate your behavior and body language, you must be able to identify your current limitations and break through them. NLP’s focus is about learning how to tap into the subconscious mind and become more adept at managing your emotions. It helps you learn how to manage the situation according to the circumstances you’re in, which will help you empathize on a deeper level and maybe see things from a whole new perspective.

NLP’s Tools for Behavioral Analysis

NLP practice and techniques enable you to connect with yourself and your relationships in a more enriching way. You will be open to more learning possibilities, easily adapt to the changes happening in your life, and will learn as life moves on. Your ability to immediately identify and push through your limitations will increase. Along the way, you will become more adept at steering your emotions so they do not get the better of you. You will learn to handle your emotions based on the situation you are in, and become a more effective and powerful communicator both verbally and nonverbally.

There are several helpful tools within the NLP framework which can be used to help you better understand your behavior:

- Tool 1: Submodalities

NLP believes that the brain codes emotional significance differently in different people. This means everyone’s brain is going to code differently based on their own mental “image” or representation. Submodalities in NLP are classified as visual, auditory, kinesthetic, and olfactory/gustatory, each of which represents the way we encode and attach meaning to our experiences. Submodalities can help you minimize your stress, either indirectly or directly. Using submodalities will help you learn to disassociate yourself from stress so it doesn’t reflect in your behavior. Learning to listen to the way that you feel is your first step towards altering your submodalities. When you’re feeling a particularly strong or tense emotion, do something else that takes your mind away from focusing on the negative.

- Tool 2: Content Reframing

Reframing involves taking a negative situation and empowering yourself by changing the meaning that you associate the experience with, subsequently turning it into a positive experience. This technique is extremely useful whenever we feel helpless or when negative thoughts and emotions weigh us down. Take a negative scenario and reframe it to give yourself an entirely different experience.

- Tool 3: Perceptual Positions

This technique teaches you to put yourself in another person’s shoes. In other words, see things from their perspective by developing your empathy and social skills. Better empathic abilities help you understand others in a way you can relate to, and your body language will start to mirror theirs, making you more relatable.

- Tool 4: Anchoring

Anchoring is best described as a neurological association between a sound, scenario, or situation and the behavior we have when we come face to face with that situation. It is a very significant and commonly used NLP tool, you need to anchor yourself to the situations you face. Anchoring helps us to associate a desired positive emotional response when we face a certain sensation. When we choose a positive emotion or thought and connect it deliberately to a simple gesture, we also trigger the anchor whenever we feel negative emotions.

NLP Tools to Analyze Your Behavior

This technique is meant to change our emotions immediately, and with it, our behavior and body language.

Human behavior is learned, and it is a product of several influencing factors, including our environment, social circle, ecology, and lifestyle. It is learned, but it also has a structure to it, which means it can be changed and adjusted with the right framework and tools. NLP techniques are one such approach to working with, understanding, and altering human behavior.

Speed Reading People and the Art of Listening

Everyone is different. Each person comes with their unique behavior patterns, quirks, and tendencies. No two people are ever going to be the same, not even twins. Add this to the fact that not all body language gestures are definitive, and speed reading people becomes even more challenging.

People display different body language cues for a reason, and while we may not be able to read minds, we can certainly read bodily signals, and that can be used to our advantage, particularly when combined with another overlooked, but just as a vital skill – the art of listening.

As with nonverbal communication, this form of communication is not without its challenges.

Misunderstandings can happen for several reasons, including a poor choice of words. Arguments may take place when two people have a difference of opinion. When poor communication techniques are used, messages conveyed are misconstrued, causing a breakdown in communication, and if you happen to misread the nonverbal cues too? That’s a recipe for communication disasters.

This is why speed reading people must be combined with the art of listening, instead of just relying on an analysis of body language alone.

Defining Communication and Its Purpose

You would think that communication is an easy, straightforward process, especially since we’re engaged in it every day. But nothing could be further from the truth. That’s because communication is more than just trying to understand and interpret what you’re being told. There’s a lot of other dynamics that come into play, which makes it hard to take their verbal communication at face value.

- There’s no way of knowing whether you’re being told the truth unless you can learn how to analyze the hidden nonverbal signals. That’s the whole reason why you learn to analyze others in the first place.

PART 3

TECHNIQUES TO IDENTIFY IF

A PERSON IS LYING

CHAPTER 13: BEWARE OF

BLUFFING

Imagine a world where people say the first thing that comes to mind, a world where you tell the truth to everyone you talk with.

For example, let’s say you take one look at your boss early in the morning and tell him he looks like a weakling.

What do you think would be the result? Peace or chaos? Here’s another scenario most people are quite familiar with: your spouse turns around and asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?” Even if the dress does make her look fat, I know most men will say something along this line, “No, it doesn’t; it’s probably the mirror playing tricks on you.”

So why do we opt to lie or gloss over important facts? Well, it is to avoid chaos. As we grow older, we learn the art of deceit to grease our interactions with others and help us maintain healthy social interactions. We know how much the cold, hard truth hurts sometimes, and it’s no wonder research supports the fact that social liars are more popular than those who repeatedly tell the truth.

This type of lie is referred to as a white lie since the other person is trying not to hurt our feelings.

So, what about the malicious lies people tell in order to deliberately deceive others for their personal gain? This is what we are going to focus our attention on. We will take a look at the common clues malicious liars give when they lie or withhold the truth. Before we explore these common deception cues, I want you to understand why it’s so important to study deception signals.

You and I deserve the truth. Society functions on the ability to trust people’s words, the knowledge that people will choose to abide by their words. If it didn’t, society would descend into chaos, relationships would have a very short life, there would be no commerce, and parents and children would not trust each other.

In as much as we will sometimes use the white lie to avoid chaos, society also depends on honesty because we would all suffer in the absence of the truth.

Millions of people paid with their lives when Adolf Hitler lied to Neville Chamberlain. When Bill Clinton lied, it destroyed the reputation he had built over the years. When Richard Nixon lied, it nearly broke the steadfast loyalty and confidence of the American citizens in their country. Truth is, undoubtedly, essential in all relations, be it professional or personal.

We are lucky that people speak the truth most of the time, and most of the lies we come across are usually social or white lies. When it comes to crucial matters, it is essential for us to assess the truth of what we are told.

It is not always easy to find the truth. For millennia, people had to rely on the use of torture devices to get the truth from those suspected of deception. Today, people have learned how to analyze handwriting and voice and use the polygraph test to uncover the truth.

Still, even with our advanced techniques, there are a lot of concerns about the accuracy of these methods. You may think you have little chance at succeeding when these modern deception analysis techniques can still fail. Don’t be discouraged. With practice, you will become better at reading these deceptions cues.

After all, it is impossible to totally conceal deception.

Why Lying Is Difficult

Practice makes perfect, and most people have spent a good amount of time practicing and honing their lying skills. We have learned how to lie from an early age, and we’ve done it so often that we have become good at it.

Despite our perceived skills of deception, we still give off nonverbal cues that betray our innermost emotions to the astute observer.

For instance, people tend to smile less when they lie. This is contrary to the popular misconception that we smile more when we lie.

The difficulty in deception is that the subconscious mind gives contrary signals to our verbal statements. That is why it is so easy to catch someone who’s not experienced in deception. On the other hand, actors, politicians, and public figures have learned how to refine their body gestures to the level where it’s difficult to catch them in a lie. They tend to restrict their gestures in order not to reveal negative or positive gestures when they lie.

Researchers have discovered that it is easier to lie over the phone or in an email. It is also easy to lie when part of your body is obscured by the interviewer or interrogator. It is no surprise that law enforcement agencies place their suspect on a chair in the open in a bid to have an unrestricted view of their body language.

How to Detect Deception

People give off different types of signals that reveal deception. Some of these signals are so subtle that even veteran body language readers might miss them if they don’t know where to look. Some signals are insignificant, unless you study them in clusters.

In some cases, you will be looking for signals of omission—looking for the hidden piece of information. Other times, you will be searching for verbal statements or actions that are inconsistent with the rest of the message.

Sometimes you won’t have access to these deception clues since you might be communicating via an email or phone.

Variables such as ethnicity, gender, and cultural background can also influence how you detect nonverbal deception cues. Let’s examine the major signs of deception in people:

Study the Body Language

Every part of the human body betrays our true feelings. By studying the arms, legs, eyes, nose, and torso, you can effectively deduce if someone is lying.

Liars Will Try to Avoid Eye Contact

When lying, people often avert their eyes in order not to betray their true emotions. They often do everything in their power to avoid looking at you since they think their lies will be uncovered through their eyes.

Conversely, people often give you their full attention and concentration when they tell the truth.

Restricted Body Movement

The arms and feet are great indicators of negative emotions, like deceit. It is easy to detect the gestures created by these body parts.

When someone is lying, they tend to be less expressive with their arms or hands. This means they are conscious about exposing themselves.

Have you ever noticed your arm movements when you are passionate about something? Your arms will wave all around as you try to emphasize your point.

When you notice a person sitting with his legs and arms close to his body, it’s a sign that he’s keeping something in. Watch out for unnatural hand and arm gestures. People who lie often try to overcome their restricted body gestures by using their gestures to convince us of the honesty of their verbal statements.

Involuntary Cover-Up

When the person’s hand goes straight to the face when making a statement or responding to a question, it is a clear sign of deceit. Liars often cover their mouths while speaking as if they don’t believe what they are saying.

Watch Out for Contradictions and Consistencies

We will take an in-depth look at the correlations between verbal statements and the accompanying body language.

From obvious contradictions, such as shaking your head from side to side while saying yes, to a more subtle form of contradiction, such as pursed lips, you will learn how to accurately interpret these signals.

These signs occur both on the conscious and subconscious levels. You will notice when people make a conscious effort to embellish their points through their forced gestures and off-timing.

You will also learn how to read people’s initial reaction. This is the initial expression you notice on people’s faces before they mask it with other body language. Even if you can’t read the fleeting initial expression, it is usually an indication that someone has something to hide.

Observe the Timing

Timing is everything when detecting deception. For example, if a person’s head begins to shake in an affirmative direction before the words come out, then there’s a high chance he’s telling the truth. But if the person’s head shakes after the point is made, it is a sign that the person is trying to demonstrate conviction.

Watch out for the arm and hand movements that demonstrate a point after it’s been made. This gesture is an afterthought, and it’s the work of a shoddy liar. These arm and hand movements won’t only start late but will also seem mechanical and at war with the “verbal” statement. Someone who is truly convinced about his statement will nod or shake their head in tune with every point he makes.

Be aware that a mechanical nodding when there’s no point to emphasize is a sign of deception.

Sniff Out the Contradictions

Timing is crucial, but we need to pay more attention to contradictions between verbal and nonverbal cues. The woman who smiles while saying, “I hate you” is sending a contradictory signal. There’s an obvious disharmony between her facial expression and verbal statement. Another example is a man telling his girlfriend or spouse he loves her while clenching his fists. Similarly, the gesture and the verbal statement are not in harmony.

Study the Timing of the Emotion

It is also difficult to fake the timing of emotions. For you to detect deception, carefully observe the timing of the emotions, and you will never be fooled. A fake emotion is not spontaneous; there’s usually a delay in the onset of the emotion. The fake emotion lasts longer than normal and ends abruptly.

Let’s take the emotion of surprise. The surprise emotion is always fleeting, and it is a fake response if it lasts too long. So, when people feign surprise, they usually keep the surprised face longer than usual.

The Unhappy Smile

Here’s another contradiction you need to watch out for. I briefly touched on this aspect when I explained the concept of smiles. I elaborated on the difference between fake and real smiles and how the former is limited to only the mouth area. When you pay close attention, you will notice that most deception signals are restricted to the mouth region.

Interpersonal Interactions

You need to consider a lot of factors when searching for signs of deception in people. Take a look at their posture in relation to the environment. Observe their stance to see if it’s defensive or offensive. Research shows that guilty people are likely to go on the defensive since they feel they are boxed in.

CHAPTER 14: HOW TO SEDUCE

AND ATTRACT SOMEONE

As social creatures, we have a long history of utilizing sure non-verbal signs to show interest in others or check whether others are keen on us.

Today, this has become more refined, however antiquated signs are still there and can be utilized with excellent outcomes. Temptation is a game played at all levels, not just in your romantic life. A man might need to entice a lady to take her to bed. A lady might wish to attract a rich man so she can have a peaceful monetary life. A vocalist might need to allure the majority with her appeal so she can sell her music. A legislator might need to entice the electors to have success.

Enticement can be both negative and positive. It may be tied in with beguiling somebody, causing somebody to have a positive outlook on themselves, or decreasing their feelings of trepidation. It may be about utilizing impulse to mislead individuals and getting them to accomplish something that they wouldn't ordinarily do.

In this chapter, you will discover a series of non-verbal communication techniques that help you utilize the craft of temptation in order to get what you need.

Get Yourself Noticed

Non-verbal Sign

- Drop something deliberately, and twist down to get it. Ideas include a glove, a book, a watch, or a napkin.

Mirror your Partner

Non-verbal Sign

- Mirror each move the individual you are attempting to tempt makes. At the point when he folds his legs, copy it. When he lifts his hands behind his head, repeat it. If he touches his face, do likewise.

How Does It Work?

When you and the individual you are communicating with move in synchronization and match each other's non-verbal communication, you suggest that you think the same way. The other individual will get this non-verbal sign unwittingly. As a rule, we find individuals who resemble us more appealing.

Seem Vulnerable

Non-verbal Sign

Female

- Show the rear of your wrist.

- Tilt your neck and uncover it.

Male and Female

- Wear a shirt with an open neckline and touch your neck or collarbone.

How Does It Work?

The neck and the rear of the wrist are weak parts of the body. By leaving these parts undefended, you suggest that you believe the person you are speaking with, and are not apprehensive. It also infers you may be happy to go above and beyond with other parts of the body.

Be More Visible than Others

Non-verbal Sign

- Walk near the individual that you need to tempt.

- Aim to be inside their field of view more regularly than others.

- Bump into them a few times with the goal of becoming a recognizable face.

- Have a casual discussion to break the ice, so you don't feel like strangers.

How Does It Work?

If others see you frequently, they are bound to get inspired by you. Commonality prompts interest. Plan to be around your target individual more regularly than others. In time, they will undoubtedly give more consideration to you than others.

For instance, trying to say hey to an individual you don't know will make you a familiar face. It will be much simpler to interact with them, become more amicable, and take it to the next level.

You can't be enchanting if the other person is not aware of who you are.

Seem Approachable

Non-verbal Sign

- For ladies. Tilt your head down and turn your eyes upward. A side tilt now and again enhances this.

How Does It Work?

This signal emulates how a kid admires a parent. Because of the stature contrast, a youngster will consistently gaze upward with wide eyes. It is a motion that proposes blamelessness and is generally utilized by young ladies.

As a grown-up, you can utilize a comparative signal to show accommodation to an expected accomplice and demonstrate that you can be drawn nearer.

Physical Contact

Non-verbal Sign

- Touch an individual's shoulder.

- Touch an individual's hand.

- Hold an individual's hand.

How Does It Work?

Begin with an incidental touch. This can be a light touch on the hand while trading something or sitting together. It will serve to break the ice with regards to contact. Specifically, this can be your beginning stage while alluring a lady. This non-verbal communication strategy is especially appropriate to those from nations that are socially more hesitant to contact.

When all is said in done, contact can be very ground-breaking. Examination shows that servers who make a light touch while conveying a bill for their clients are bound to get a bigger tip. Curiously, the client is usually unaware of the communication and just "feels" like tipping more when the opportunity arrives.

In another example, if a clerk in a retail shop gently touches a client's hand when the client is paying for a product, the client will probably rate the exchange and the experience more positively than if the client was not contacted. Once more, this occurs on a subconscious level.

Appear Exotic

Non-verbal Sign

- Surprise individuals by how you look.

- Appear offbeat and intriguing.

- Look not quite the same as the common person.

- Offer a vital service.

How Does It Work?

This procedure is maybe best depicted by the activities of the expert of temptation. It was the year 48 B.C. Julius Caesar was in an Egyptian castle having a gathering with his military commanders. A gatekeeper announced that a Greek vendor needed to meet the Roman general to give a significant blessing. Caesar permitted the trader to approach. The trader came in carrying an enormous floor covering. Once before Caesar, the shipper fixed the rope tied around the rug and spread it out with a fast snap of his wrist. A youthful, wonderful half-bare woman, the young Cleopatra, the sovereign of Egypt, was covered up inside the carpet!

It caught everybody off guard, as it was evident how much trouble Cleopatra had gone to in designing this move. The move was so enchanting that Caesar was snared.

Like Cleopatra, plan your passage, what you look like, and your general non-verbal communication.

Be Symmetrical

Non-verbal Sign

- Use cosmetics to show up as balanced as could reasonably be expected. This is especially pertinent to ladies.

- Wear evenly lovely material.

How Does It Work?

Analysts have discovered a connection between evenness and sexual choice. We will, in general, be pulled towards individuals who have even faces and bodies. Individuals who are ill-suited or unfortunate often have topsy-turvy bodies. Any deviation from evenness suggests that a specific individual has not developed appropriately or is unsuitable for procreation. An even individual is generally viewed as being more appealing. If your utilization of cosmetics or fabric makes you look balanced, you are bound to seem alluring.

A good first impression can make the resulting experience much more straightforward. Furthermore, when individuals know nothing about you, they will be anxious to discover more.

A good first impression comprises non-verbal signs, alongside the underlying short welcome and conceivable casual discussion. Fortunately, you are your promoter. You can prepare for the experience. You can determine precisely how you appear. With such a significant amount of rivalry in publicizing and catching individuals' consideration, getting the initial introductions right is critical.

Be Prepared for First Impressions

When you are going to meet somebody, regardless of whether it is for business or pleasure, ensure that you show up at your best. You do not want to be rushed, fail to remember something, or look ill-equipped. If you seem ill-equipped, the other individual's impression of you will be that you are someone who doesn't value that experience or them. Strive to show the other individual that you care about them and their needs.

We should repeat over that once more. The initial introduction isn't about you. It is about the impression other individuals have about you. Henceforth, it is eventually about them; it is tied in with causing them to feel that you will help their lives.

Focusing on this fundamental objective, you can use the following non-verbal communication rules:

- Dress appropriately, and in a way that makes the other individual agreeable when you are near.

- Be on time.

- Appear sure and ingenious, so the other individual understands you are worth his time.

- Be open with the goal so the other person will feel relaxed.

CHAPTER 15: WHAT REALLY

MOTIVATE US?

Now, we’re going to talk about the motivations of people. This is the principal thing that keeps them going, and if you want to be able to read a person’s body language correctly, you need to understand the motivations that drive them. Think of this like driving on a highway. Everyone is driving towards a destination, which is their main motivation. If you’re driving right alongside them, you might not be 100% sure of where they’re going. However, if you take a good look at the car’s movements, the blinkers, their position in the lane, and so on, you should be able to make a close-to-accurate prediction and therefore adjust your own driving accordingly. Even if a person lies to you, knowing what motivates them or what their “end game” is can help you to figure out what the lie is all about.

One more note, motives are defined as the conscious or unconscious factors for people’s behaviors. Motives are the reasons we do what we do. Behaviors are the acts themselves; the actions that are reflective of a person’s motivation.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

This is possibly one of the oldest rationales for understanding human motivation. It’s not perfect, but what is? Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs is a lot like the Nutrition Pyramid. It explains that motives have a bottom-up approach. The bottom needs are the most basic and prevalent which must be met first before the other’s needs are addressed. There are five levels to basic human need, starting from the bottom, and these are: Physiological, Safety, Love/Belonging, Esteem, and Self-Actualization.

Here is a brief look at how this works:

Physiological Needs

These are the components that are aimed towards survival. According to Maslow’s theory, humans are compelled to fulfill these needs first before they can ascend to higher levels. So, what exactly are these physiological needs? These are:

Homeostasis, or basically the balance of the body in order to preserve its living condition.

Health.

Food.

Water.

Sleep.

Clothing.

Shelter.

Social Belonging

Once you have the most basic needs and security, the next step is to seek out social belonging. We are social animals after all, and the need to be accepted by our peers is one of the most common driving forces for people. The need for social belonging is typically met by the following:

Friendships.

Intimacy.

Family.

The need to be accepted in social groups exists regardless of the size of the group itself. Small social connections include family, friends, and colleagues. You will notice that most people will go to extra lengths in order to have this sense of acceptance and belonging in their chosen social circle. Failure to meet these needs leads to problems like social anxiety, clinical depression, and loneliness.

Self-Esteem

Next is self-esteem which is connected to the second level. People often use the second level to jump to the third. Acceptance in their social circle tends to boost a person’s self-esteem as they find themselves worthy because others find them worthy. What does this level cover? There are actually two versions of this: the lower and the higher version. The lower version speaks of self-esteem derived from others. There’s a need for status, fame, prestige, recognition, and attention from others.

The higher version speaks of self-esteem derived from your own competency. This speaks of self-confidence, knowing that you’re capable of independence. This means being able to take care of yourself, know your needs, and have the ability to meet those needs. This gives an individual a sense of value and prevents them having an inferiority complex.

Self-Actualization

This is the toughest level of the motivation pyramid, and is all about managing to reach a person’s full potential. Maslow describes it as the ability of an individual to accomplish everything they can possibly achieve in life. It is a lifetime goal and for many people, it can be difficult to actually pinpoint that lifetime goal. Others, however, know what this goal is, but have a hard time reaching it.

Self-actualization Can Include

Parenting.

Partner acquisition.

Utilizing and developing abilities.

Utilizing and developing talents.

Pursuing other goals.

These self-actualization motives are described by Maslow as the intrinsic drive that pushes people forward into completion. People who have a clear grasp of this goal need to understand how their four needs in the pyramid interact with each other to help them achieve the ultimate goal.

The Fifth Level—Transcendence

Oddly enough, the developer of this hierarchy also talked about a sixth level. He called it transcendence and according to him, it is a level of achievement where a person surrenders himself to something or someone more powerful than himself. You are probably thinking about religion, but that’s not all there is to it. Transcendence is also pursued through meditative exercises. According to him, transcendence refers to the highest and most holistic level of human consciousness.

So How Does This Help with Reading People?

If we rely completely on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, you’ll note that most people’s actions are geared towards reaching any of these five needs. It can be a tad difficult, but what you want to do is try to figure which of these five needs a person wants to achieve through a particular behavior. Do they want social acceptance? Do they want to achieve the basic needs of maintaining life? Or do they want a sense of security? If you can figure out exactly what ultimate need one wants to fulfill, you can at least fill in the gaps and make a reading on what their body is saying.

Experience Matters When It Comes to Motives

Obviously, there is a lot more to motivation than just figuring out which of the five needs a person wants to meet. Experience is a big predictor when it comes to figuring out motivations. Plus, it’s on a case-by-case basis, with YOU as a big factor in the equation. Simply put—what does this person want from me? What need is this person trying to fulfill through me? What need can I fill for this person?

Guidelines for Understanding People

Let’s say you’re ready to figure out people’s motivations and understand them to forge better connections. The question now is this: how do you start? The way you start varies from person to person, but there are certain “general rules” that can help you move forward with connections.

Here are some of the typical guidelines to make things easier for you:

Most Social Behaviors Are Hidden

We’ve been talking about the different actions of people and what they mean, but it’s also important to look at the opposite end of the scale. You should keep in mind that more often than not, people draw inwards instead of pushing out. Many actions or reactions are done in order to suppress rather than express. For example, people close their arms, suck in their lips, or look away from people. It’s a pull motion rather than a push. How does this apply when you’re trying to connect with people?

Well, you have to pay extra attention. There’s this precious moment between a push and a pull when a person starts to react to something and then quickly holds that back in because they realize that they’re showing emotions they don’t want people to see. That’s the moment you have to catch.

Now, you might not always catch this deliberate inaction, but knowing that it’s there is half the battle. A lot of things are beneath the surface. This is why you need to focus on empathy, instead of just interpreting what people say. Put yourself in the person’s shoes, and you should be able to at least have an idea of what they’re trying to do or what they’re trying to achieve.

Conceit Trumps Malice

Another thing to keep in mind is that people aren’t naturally evil. If you’re going to guess a person’s motivation, malice should NOT be your first choice. In law, accused people are often considered “innocent until proven guilty” because the default setting is that a person is “good” unless there’s enough evidence to show that they’ve been bad. This is also important if you want to understand people better.

In any situation where people are doing something that is harmful to others, first assume that they’re doing it because they’re unaware or ignorant or believe that their way is more important. By having this mindset, you are more likely to react in a kind manner. Chances are you’d react by explaining to them exactly why their choice of action is not the best one. In contrast, walking into a situation believing a person is simply “evil” makes you react badly, perhaps even rudely or violently.

Selfishness and Altruism Often Dictate Behavior

Selfishness is often viewed as a desire to please only yourself while altruism is its exact opposite. Altruistic people are said to be selfless and want only the best for others. Oddly enough, people can be driven by these two factors at the same time. Perhaps the simplest way to explain this is: people are giving, but they are giving in a way that also helps themselves. For example, people have no problem lending money to a friend, knowing that this particular friend can help them fix their computer or fix their car without charge. You trade in a car from a dealer and the two of you benefit. In some cases, helping someone is a sign that you have more power than that person, therefore helping you establish a feeling of dominance over another person.

Memory Is Fickle

Another thing that might help you in understanding people for the better is that they don’t have excellent memories. Memory is incredibly fickle and people are likely to forget certain things, ideas, or concepts. Hence, if you’re expecting someone to call or someone promised to do something for you, and it did not eventuate, you can always assume it’s because they simply forgot instead of it being deliberate malice. Do not assume that people are naturally evil as this will leave you feeling bitter and closed to the possibility of connecting to and understanding others.

CHAPTER 16: PERSONALITY TYPES

Researchers examined data that was collected from over 1.5 million people and it was found that there is a minimum of four distinct personality groups: reserved, regular, exemplary, and egocentric. The findings go against the existing paradigms that are present in psychology.

The study used questionnaires in which volunteers responded in exchange for more information about their own personality.

People have tried to categorize personality types since ancient times, but scientific literature has long rejected the idea.

Personality types were only found in self-help literature and not in scientific journals. From the answers to the questionnaires, specialists pointed out the five basic traits of personality: neuroticism, extraversion, openness to new experiences, sympathy, and conscientiousness. Once the new algorithms were developed, there were four types of personalities that emerged.

Regular

Regular people are rich in neuroticism and extraversion and have low levels of openness to new experiences. Women are usually more prone to falling into this category.

Reserved

The reserved individual is emotionally stable but has no openness or neuroticism. He is not extroverted, but he is pleasant and aware.

Exemplary

Exemplary people score low on neuroticism and high on all other characteristics. There are more women in this category. The likelihood of someone being exemplary increases with age. They are the kind of people that you can trust, and they are open to new ideas. These are the kind of people that will take care of things.

Egocentric

This group scores very high on extroversion and below the required score in openness, sympathy, and awareness. There is a substantial decrease in self-centered numbers as people age, both with women and men.

Researchers also developed a new method, reducing the possibility of aggregation of the algorithms. This procedure revealed the four groups.

To make sure the categories were accurate, they used a group of egocentrics – adolescent boys – to validate the information. We know that adolescents behave in an egocentric way.

According to experts, this research can help health care professionals evaluate people with extreme personalities. In addition, you can use this information to help select candidates for job vacancies or even to find a loving partner.

The analysis also points out that as people mature, their personality types change. For example, older people are usually a lot more conscientious and sympathetic than people under the age of 20 years. When we look at people in large groups, it becomes very clear that trends exist. Some people can change their characteristics over time.

Classification of Personality Types

The classification of your personality type comes from the combination of 4 criteria.

These criteria are the opposite and exclusive. For example, if you are extroverted, you cannot be introverted. In order for a personality to be formed, it is necessary to choose an answer from each criterion. The combination of the four chosen criteria gives the personality type, for example, ENTP or INFJ.

Check out the acronyms and the four classification criteria below:

Introverts or Extroverts

The first classification of personality types is related to the way we interact with the world. With respect to this question, we can be: Extroverts (E) or Introverts (I):

Extroverts (E): Someone with this type of personality is extremely sociable and likes to talk and interact with other people. He is not afraid to state his opinions and is very communicative. They focus their energy on the real world.

Introverts (I): These are usually people who feel better alone, are less sociable, and interact with fewer people. In general, they do not open up easily. They concentrate their energy on the world of thoughts.

Sensory or Intuitive

The second classification of personality types is related to how we observe and absorb information from the world. With respect to this criterion, we can be: Sensory (S) or Intuitive (N):

Sensory (S): Corresponds to the most materialistic personality type, obtains information through the observation of facts and concrete details. They are realistic and practical people.

Intuitive (N): These are people who have a more imaginative profile. Instead of obtaining information through concrete facts, they prefer to observe and draw the final conclusions from their own thoughts and beliefs. They are the most creative and complex people.

Thinkers or Sentimental

The third classification of personality types concerns how we judge other people's actions and also how we make decisions. With regard to this criterion, we can be: Thinkers (T) or Sentimental (F):

Thinkers (T): They make decisions and always judge people based on logic, generally weighing up the pros and cons of the situation. They are objective and fair; they rarely let feelings influence their decisions. They value logic, justice, and equality.

Sentimental (F): People with this type of personality judge people and make their decisions guided by their instincts and also by feelings (i.e. decide based on what they are feeling at the moment). They value harmony; empathy does not follow strict rules; they accept exceptions well.

Judges or Perceptive

The fourth classification of personality types is related to whether we prefer to act spontaneously or whether we prefer to think well before acting. With respect to this criterion, we can be: Judges (J) or Perceptive (P):

Judges (J): Whoever has a judging personality is satisfied after decisions have been made; they are distressed by letting problems accumulate. In general, they do not think much before acting, they prefer to regret later.

Perceptive (P): They make well-thought-out and more accurate decisions; they take time to act. They become distressed if they need to make a decision quickly. They usually think hard before they act because they are afraid to repent.

CHAPTER 17: PRACTICAL

APPLICATION

Exercises and Practice for Masterful Analysis of Others and Broadcasting of Yourself

You’ll find several basic exercises to practice to enhance your analysis of others and influence social interaction. Select one or two you’re comfortable with and start there. When you’ve become comfortable with those, select one or two more, and even add other practices you’ve found elsewhere and learned by observing others. Learning from others you admire and then mirroring that behavior is an effective process of adapting more influential behavior. The key is to practice them regularly and record your results.

Regulate Your Breath

This is a common breathing technique used in meditation and in the practice of mindfulness. Like most breathing exercises, this is designed to guide the individual into a slower frame of mind that most often includes a slowing and calming of the body. The individual is encouraged to listen to, and focus on, his or her own breath. When the mind wanders, gently guide it back to the breathing exercise.

This exercise can be practiced almost anywhere, but it does require the individual to block out the rest of the world for a solid 5-10 minutes for maximum benefit. There is no preparation necessary, and while it’s nice to practice this exercise in a comfortable and relaxing space, it’s possible to implement this in a space that isn’t perfect. Doing so will strengthen your ability to block out distractions and concentrate deliberately for 5-10 minutes.

The primary function of this exercise is to regulate a slow, and steady breathing pattern of 3-count inhales, and 5-count exhales. It’s also suggested that when breathing in, you breathe deeply through your nose, and when exhaling, you do so through the mouth as if you’re blowing air out from your lips.

By adding this breathing exercise to your repertoire, you’ll improve focus and memory and decrease stress chemicals in the body. This exercise also decreases your overall sense of anxiety, lowers heart rate and blood pressure, relieves muscle tension, and improves eyesight.

To practice this exercise:

Get as comfortable and quiet as possible in a place you can sit undisturbed for 5-10 minutes.

Sit comfortably and close your eyes.

Breathe in deeply and exhale.

Hold your breathing for a moment on the exhale.

Inhale again, but this time, breathe in slowly and steadily for a count of 3.

Hold your breath for a count of 3.

Exhale, but this time, exhale slowly and steadily for a count of 5.

Inhale again, slowly and steadily for 3 counts.

Exhale again, slowly and steadily for 5 counts.

Continue this pattern of slow and steady inhales and exhales at a 3-count, and 5-count, respectively.

You may opt to continue to hold your breath in between inhaling and exhaling as part of your pattern, but it’s not mandatory. Do what is most comfortable. If the mind begins to wander, gently bring it back to the observation of the breathing process. Your analytical mind should be listening closely to your breathing for any sign of faster or unsteady flow. The analytical mind can also remain focused on the evenness of your counts, trying to maintain the slow and steady flow. After a 5 or 10-minute period, you can slowly open your eyes and readjust to your immediate surroundings. With regular practice of this breathing exercise, you will teach your mind and body that you have the power to bring yourself to this peaceful moment whenever you want. This is a personal micro-vacation you can use any time in your day; it feels good.

Try Reframing

In reframing, you’re encouraged to take a situation you feel negatively about and put it in a new light; paint a different picture of it. This can be done anywhere, at any time, and takes only seconds or minutes. It can be done silently in your own mind or out loud. Reframing out loud has the added benefit of strengthening the story, and the accompanying emotions.

This exercise works well for people who regularly overthink, and form exaggerated and dramatic stories based on one small piece of evidence, often taken out of context. Examples of situations that reframing can work well on might be someone standing you up for a date, someone taking the seat you saved, someone cutting you off in the grocery aisle, a stranger giving you a nasty look, and so on. These situations often put us on the defensive quickly, as we feel we're wrongly judged or mistreated. It’s easy to imagine a personal injustice or that the situation was done against you, personally.

This exercise forces the individual to look at the situation objectively, as if no personal emotion was involved. Through this lens, the individual can often slow the pattern of negative thought and put the situation into a more realistic perspective.

There are no step-by-step instructions for this practice. When you notice a situation you feel personally offended by, stop. Take a moment to analyze what’s really going on from an objective point of view. Ask yourself if you could be seeing some of these details wrong and if something else, which is not a personal attack on you, could actually be going on. Imagine a scenario where the same situation plays out, but it has nothing to do with you. For example, the person who stood you up could have had an emergency. The person who took your seat probably didn’t realize they did it. The person who cuts you off in the grocery aisle could have been in an important rush to get somewhere. The stranger with the nasty look could have made that face because of a thought of their own, and they just happened to be facing your direction.

Read Others in Public

The next time you’re in any line, take your time reading and observing the body language of others around you, both customers and clerks. Note the correlations you observe, and even make notes on your phone about this while you’re in line. Once a month or once a quarter, look back over that which you’ve recorded to analyze your progress and the spots you still may need more work on.

Exercise Written Influence

In-person interactions are a prime way to maximize influence, but this isn’t always possible. Many times, we interact with others on the phone, in chat, or on social media. If email and text is the way you communicate for most of the day, try writing a persuasive email at least once per day. Plan what outcome you want to see, and then try to implement one or two of these tactics to see if you can get the email recipient to do what you want or agree with you.

CHAPTER 18: HOW TO FAKE

YOUR BODY LANGUAGE

Now, we will go through some easy and simple ways to fake your body language in order to convey different emotions or expressions to those around you. These methods can be beneficial in everyday life as well as in the workplace. They can also serve you well when starting out relationships. These methods also do a good job of helping you feel how you are trying to feel. Have you ever heard the cliché, “Fake it till you make it?” Well, in some ways, this is true. By pretending to feel a lot of the emotions, you may be able to convince yourself that you actually feel that way.

Taking a Deep Breath

Amplifying the supply of oxygen within our lungs gives us more power and more ability to fake our emotions through body language. This will also give us a moment to collect our composure and pretend to be calm and collected. In addition, deep breathing tends to stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system, which can trigger a relaxation response. This is very helpful, especially when trying to trick those around you into believing that you are calm and controlled in a situation. Deep breathing is a very good trick for mindful living, as it gives you more control over your body and your reactions to stimuli.

Controlling the Movement of Our Eyebrows

Our eyebrows can convey a lot about our inner feelings. A lot of movement from our eyebrows can convey feelings that you do not want to express. You need to be aware of the movement of your eyebrows when you are trying to fake certain emotions through your body language.

Trying Not to Use a Fake Smile

While it is good to smile even if you don’t feel like it, that is not always beneficial when faking your emotions through body language. While looking happy and bubbly may make others like you, it is not the best look to have constantly. Fake smiles are far too easy to see through, and humans are naturally inclined to try and search for any inconsistencies within somebody’s smile. A better way to hide your emotions is to keep your mouth straight and not smiling or sad.

Relaxing Your Face

By keeping your facial muscles relaxed, you can more easily control the movements of your face. Stay away from movements such as teeth grinding, frowning, or displaying any other type of emotional expression. Having a calmer look on your face makes it easier to control the emotions you are putting out through your body language.

Supporting Your Head

A person’s head that is being held up or a face buried into one’s palm is a very obvious and clear giveaway of a bad mood or sadness. Keep your head held up high and your neck and back straight in a situation where you feel sad, but you do not want those around you to know that you feel sad. Another important thing to remember is to try and stop yourself from touching your face when you're feeling sad, as it is a strong sign of anxiety and stress.

Avoiding Fidgeting

Moving suddenly or very quickly are obvious signs of discomfort and anxiety. If you try to relax your body and try to look as though you are comfortable where you are, it can be easier to control your emotions and feelings. It also becomes harder for those around you to decipher what you feel because you simply look calm and relaxed.

Speaking in a Balanced Tone

This one is very important. If you want to come across as anything other than how you are currently feeling, take a moment to think about what you're going to say. Speak in a balanced and even tone to those around you. The tone of your voice can give away your thoughts faster than you can think. Speaking too fast or changing your tone very quickly and frequently is an obvious sign that you aren't quite sure what you are trying to emote or what you are feeling. Try to slow down before you answer any questions. In addition to this, try to speak with your mind in a logical setting. Focus exclusively on facts and remove any emotion from the situation. Through focusing on facts, you can stop your body from exclusively feeling the said emotions and focus on the task at hand.

Trying to Disassociate

If you can manage to detach yourself from a situation you are in, it will become much easier to control your body language and the emotions that you are seeking to hide. An easy way to do this is to think of good memories. Doing this will help take your mind off of whatever is happening around you, and it will make it more challenging for others to read your thoughts. By detaching yourself from the situation around you, you will more easily be able to see the logical side of what is happening, and be able to accurately portray the particular body language and emotions that you want to exude.

Speaking to Yourself

Tell your mind to think the way it should. This will make it easier to control your body language and your emotions, as you are in the process of controlling your own mind.

CONCLUSION

How to Analyze People with Your Own Powers of Observation

#1. Body Language

The body is the most important part of any person’s communication. Hands, feet, arms, and legs are all used in different ways which reflect a person's moods, likes, and dislikes. If you see someone thumping their feet on the floor and crossing their arms over their chest, this means they are feeling stressed or annoyed. If someone is standing very still and staring at the floor, they are feeling embarrassed or shy.

#2. Voice

What someone says and how they say it can reveal a lot about their personality. A loud or quiet voice, too high or too low pitch, deep or high-pitched laughter can all give clues to a person's character. Just the way they pronounce certain words, or their grammar can reveal a lot about their education and social status. For example, if someone is constantly laughing nervously it may indicate that they are feeling nervous and defensive.

If a person tries to control the way they speak, for example, if they try to sound smarter than they are, then this will also reveal something about them. For example, if someone speaks in a slow and quiet voice it is a sign that they want people to like them and feel comfortable with them. If someone speaks too loudly in an aggressive way, then this may mean that they are being defensive and trying to be intimidating.

#3. What They Say

It is the conversation that reveals the most about a person. People who talk a lot are more extroverted and probably have lower self-esteem. They enjoy attention and want to be popular. People who speak quietly are often very happy with themselves, or may be shy. It is difficult to know why they act in this way, but either way, it shows something about their personality and character.

#4. Appearances

The way people dress can tell you a lot about their personality. People who wear expensive, designer clothes tend to be more confident and successful than others. People who wear their clothes in an untidy way are probably more relaxed and laid back, as they don't care what they look like. People who dress very smartly have high standards and want to look good. This is usually a sign of a good self-esteem. If someone dresses very badly, or in clothes that are too young for them, it could mean that they are trying to hide their real personality.

#5. The Way They Look At You

The way a person looks at you when you speak to them can reveal something about their feelings towards you. If someone is looking away from you or at the floor it could mean that they are not listening to you. If they are listening but looking at something else, like their mobile phone, it could mean that they are not interested in what you have to say. If their eyes are focused on you and they are following what you are saying it means that they are listening and taking in what you're saying.

#6. Your Own Reactions

The best way to observe people is to notice your own reactions. If you get along with someone it means that you feel comfortable around them. If you are not comfortable around a person then this probably means that you don't like them or that they are intimidating. If you are interested in a person or think that they are interested then it means that you like them and feel attracted to them. If you are jealous of someone then it shows that you respect them and think they are better than you, or maybe that you feel threatened by them.

#7. Looks

If someone is giving you a dirty look, this most probably means they don't like you. If someone looks you straight in the eye when you speak to them then it means that they are interested and open to what you have to say. If they are staring at you in a very intense way it may mean that they like you. If they look away when you speak to them it could mean that they are not interested in what you have to say.

#8. Confidence Level

People who are confident and relaxed will act differently to those who are nervous and uptight. If someone is confident and relaxed, they will stand tall, speak in a clear voice and look you straight in the eye. If they are nervous and uptight, they may fidget, speak quietly, and look away when listening to you. Nervous people are usually more defensive because they don't feel good about themselves.

#9. Facial Expressions

If someone is smiling, then they are probably happy. If they are smiling when talking to you then it means that they are interested and like you. However, a tight-lipped smile can mean that the person doesn't like you, or maybe that they are trying to hide their feelings.

#10. Age and Gender

The way a man acts is generally very different to the way a woman acts. Men tend to be more confident and extroverted, whereas women are more sensitive and caring. If you are talking to a boy or girl then it is important to notice the difference in their body language, facial expressions, and tones of voice. You will be able to tell whether they like you by their actions and reactions towards you.

#11. Where They Are Looking

Where a person looks can also reveal a lot about their personality. People who are observing their surroundings may be more confident than those who are not. Those who are not looking at what is around them usually have low self-esteem and do not feel comfortable in their environment.

#12. Their Interests

If someone is interested in something, they will speak about it a lot, and watch a lot of films/TV about the subject. A person who doesn't care about anything will not pay attention to anything and won't watch any films or programs on TV. Also, if someone is interested in fashion, they will do a lot of research on the internet about different styles.

#13. Intelligence Level

People who can't speak very well are often very defensive about their intelligence and have low self-esteem. If someone speaks in a confident way, then it shows that they are intelligent and have high self-esteem. People who try to speak in a smarter way than they are used to are probably trying to impress someone.

Psychological

Warfare

CHRISTOPHER KINGLER

INTRODUCTION

Psychological warfare is the use of propaganda and psychological manipulation to influence a target audience toward the accomplishment of a political, economic, or military goal.

I am severely saddened and a little bit disturbed that the United States of America, with all of its might, has used psychological warfare against its own people. This psychological warfare has been going on for so long that "We the People" have forgotten all about it and allowed it to continue. If a country was being used as a guinea pig in a psychological warfare experiment, and the results were not favorable, the experiment would be discontinued.

The question is this, are we the guinea pigs? I don't know! But upon researching the concept of psychological warfare, I have concluded, "well, we sure might be."

From the birth of the United States of America, right up to the present day, we the people have been subjected to an ongoing psychological warfare program, and the war will never end. The war will never end because we are unaware of the full extent of the loss of freedom that has occurred and is still occurring.

From my own investigations into the topic, I do not believe the psychological warfare program is only taking place in the United States, but also in other nations in the world. Secret documents have been leaked to an international news agency revealing that countries like Russia were also singled out for their participation in a psychological warfare program. I'm not making this up, I have read a ton of these leaked documents that a national news agency obtained from one of the countries being subjected to psychological warfare.

Psychological warfare also happens in our ordinary lives. Those who practice psychology know it is possible to conduct surveillance on a person based on subtle clues provided by that person. A common example would be when someone is looking around at the paintings at a museum and then later that person gets hit by a spell that was cast against that person just because they looked at a bunch of paintings.

As I said before, psychological warfare is nothing new, it was being practiced long before I was born, and I didn't grow up with the computer. But the computer sure made it a hundred times easier to practice psychological warfare, and made it harder to detect as well. We need to be aware that we have been heavily programmed by the government and television while we were in the womb – yes, while we were in the womb.

A major reason why it had to be done while we were in the womb is that we are all born with a superpower called intuition. The government and television program people in that area of the brain the least because that is where people are stronger than them. The rest of the brain has been hard at work since before we were born.

This psychological warfare program is used in all of society's sectors. An example would be in the media. Investigative journalism has been around a long time, but recently a lot of investigative journalists have been silenced because of the psychological warfare program. The reason behind the attack on the media is that the psychological warfare program is nothing more than an attempt to sustain the illusion of a strong, powerful, invincible USA.

I have also researched the Pentagon and have read about a few situations where they have acted out psychological warfare programs by using the services of individuals who have been trained in the art of covert warfare.

I will not go into the process of the psychological warfare program in any great detail, as I am a writer, not a trained psychologist. However, this book will cover the various branches of psychological warfare. This is so you will be aware of the truth and be able to avoid psychological warfare programs, thus reducing any damage that they may cause you. It is up to you to decide what to do with this information; whether you will simply ignore it, or whether you will react to it positively and vigorously.

The psychological warfare program, though it is a covert program, is not a secret to journalists. While people like ourselves may feel naïve about some of the things we have heard and read regarding psychological warfare, spies think about us, “Hey, we all know about you.”

I've met with many reporters who have covered the psychological warfare program, and none of them are aware of any of this information. You would be surprised by the number of people who are aware of this information, and they only talk to other individuals who are already aware of it – they don't talk about it to the public.

Be aware that the psychological warfare program is always just around the corner – nothing can be taken for granted.

I am of the opinion that the psychological warfare program is being carried out by people in our own government. These people are professionals in covert warfare, and they are professionals in psychological warfare as well.

It is up to you to decide what you will do about the psychological warfare program. React positively or react negatively. How you choose to react will have an effect on your life and the fate of your loved ones, so to speak. The psychological warfare program is so subtle that it is virtually impossible to avoid. Even the most experienced and dedicated truth-seekers may still be subjected to the psychological warfare program.

There is one thing I do know. Our only hope is that we can change the way we react to things for the better.

It is our duty to make positive changes in our lives; create change.

CHAPTER 1: WHY YOU SHOULD

KNOW THE ART OF PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE

All people have a dark side. Some people just suppress that side and don’t explore all the power it has to offer. You, on the other hand, have decided to explore and even enrich your dark side. Many benefits await you. Human beings are naturally ruthless and competitive creatures. The only ones who succeed are people who are willing to violate morals and ethics to get to the top. Now that you have decided to do this, you will get to the top too. You will only fall behind and lose in life if you don’t become cutthroat and shameless about going after what you want.

But in our society, we have to at least pretend to follow the current social code of morals and ethics. Otherwise, people will judge us harshly and avoid us. They won’t be as willing to like you and to help you out. Your psychological warfare training will not work if people start to dislike you and avoid you. Therefore, you must create a façade that totally obscures your dark side. You must hide behind an elaborate and beautiful façade that fools people into liking and trusting you. It is the only way to get away with psychological warfare.

Create a Foolproof Façade

So how do you create this lovely, warming façade that fools the world? How should you look to others? How do you hide what you are really up to? How do you make people believe that you mean only the best and that you are not ruthless and self-serving?

Well, deception is part of it. But so is denial. And so is confidence. You can create a very convincing façade if you blend these three elements into your outward projection of yourself. You will create a façade is so convincing that you will have everyone fooled.

Deception

It’s OK to lie about yourself and present yourself deceptively if it builds your image. You can use deception to make yourself look good to others. Just make sure that your lies are not blatant. You want to mislead people by making yourself look good, but you don’t want to lie and look pathetic should you get found out. Always tell at least most of the truth when you talk about yourself.

Let’s say you are on a date. You want to make the best impression but you don’t have a great job. You don’t want to lie outright about your job as you might get caught. Instead, talk up your job and use words that exaggerate the importance of your position.

Focus on your strengths when you speak about yourself, too. Try to show off your strengths. Don’t show off your weaknesses. Downplay your weaknesses to make yourself look better. The better your outward image is and the more positive of a character you appear to have, the more people will like you. Then you will have better luck with people.

Denial

Denial can help you appear innocent. There are many aspects to denial. You should combine deception and denial in order to fool people into thinking that you are incapable of wrongdoing.

The victim card is a good one to play. Deny that you have ever done wrong and pretend to be an innocent victim to justify your actions.

You can also pretend that you didn’t know what you did was wrong. You made an honest mistake. Now, you’re repenting and consumed with guilt. Deny that you are immoral and pretend to be the grieving sinner. People will feel that you have a good heart, even if you have messed up in the past. They will forgive you and admire you for your bravery.

You can also just flatly deny that you have done what others say about you. Act shocked when you hear stories about yourself. Then tell people some stories of your own to discredit those who talk badly about you. Deny that you had any involvement in any wrongdoing in the past.

Confidence

Confidence is the key to creating an innocent and believable façade. In fact, confidence is the key to getting others to like you. People are attracted to those who possess healthy confidence and ego. If you project confidence, you will draw people to you. And then your façade will definitely work.

Have you noticed that vain, narcissistic people are usually the most popular and well-liked? This is because they are totally confident and don’t let others ruffle their feathers. Basically, they have such thick skins that nothing can stir up their insecurities. They are bold and passionate about who they are and what they want. You need to become this way.

Confidence is not just something that you must possess. You can fake it. Faking it will actually make you confident over time. And you can convince others that you possess lots of confidence, even if you really don’t. Start acting confident today. It all lies in body language and speech. If you walk with a straight spine, look people in the eyes, and speak first, you will appear far more confident. You should also speak very directly and avoid stuttering or being inarticulate. Doing this will make you appear as if you have nothing to hide and nothing to be ashamed of, which will inspire trust and admiration in others. This is partly why confidence is so attractive. You may also establish dominance over others by being confident, which gives you that authoritative edge that is so beneficial in persuasion.

You can also take being confident a bit further. Being cocky may go against your nature and your sense of modesty, but it’s really the best way to charm people. Yes, people claim that they are put off by cocky people, yet look who gets the most women or men. Being cocky is not the same as being confident. But it can work for you. Putting on a charmingly cocky façade is a great way to make people feel attracted to you. They won’t know why, but they will feel inexplicably drawn to your suave and vain nature. Be sure to brag about yourself, while also complimenting others. Shamelessly talk to people, forcing your nature on them and never taking no for an answer. Don’t ever speak doubtfully or belittle yourself.

Confidence also helps you justify what you do to yourself. If you believe that you are a great person who deserves the best and that there is nothing wrong with what you are doing to others, then you won’t give away your secret dark side out of guilt, doubt, or hesitation. You will simply act on your desires boldly and shamelessly.

Shockingly, people will believe you more often than not if you act like you are in the right.

CHAPTER 2: WHAT IS PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE THEORY?

The term “mental fighting” or “psychological warfare” is utilized to mean any activity which is rehearsed with the intention of inspiring an arranged mental response in other people.

It is utilized to initiate admissions or strengthen dispositions and practices ideal to the perpetrator’s goals, and often includes dark activities or bogus strategies. It is additionally used to pulverize the confidence of foes.

There is proof of mental fighting throughout recorded history. On many occasions, mental fighting endeavors have been utilized widely. Today, the web causes numerous battles of disinformation and falsehood, perpetrated by operators in any place on the planet.

Tactics of Psychological Warfare

Perpetrators of psychological warfare are advised to choose not just ONE of the techniques available, but SEVERAL at the same time, organizing them into a campaign that will mutually reinforce one other.

This is a key point, and you would do well to note it, because, in order to accomplish true psychological warfare, it requires more than one person’s involvement. It then becomes one of the classic meanings of the word “conspiracy.”

Conspiracy—An agreement to perform together an illegal, wrongful, or subversive act.

Subversive, in the context of this document, means:

A destructive, aggressive activity aimed to destroy your will to resist being forced into conforming with an enemy’s view of who they want you to be, how they want you to act, what views they want you to have, and what decisions they want you to make.

It is a military term in its basic origin and is considered a war tactics.

Since psychological warfare requires a campaign in order to have any chance of working, you can see that this would usually involve more than one person trying to subvert you into giving up your will to fight. And at that point?

You have a conspiracy.

This is why one of the first things trotted out by psychological warfare supporters when they or someone they work for comes under fire publicly for illegal, immoral, and undeserved acts are to call them a “conspiracy theorist.”

See the thing is, in most cases, the people that trot out the Conspiracy Theorist term know for a fact you are telling the truth. Or at least that you are too close to the truth. Their first priority in a well-publicized situation is to try and prevent others from realizing that it’s true. The goal is both to discredit you by any means possible, and to distract from the hard, cold, truth. Their second priority is to try and wear you down so you’ll stop. It’s always a two-pronged approach that, as you can see, lines up perfectly with their own guidelines for psychological warfare.

There exists in every person, a completely accurate perception of what IS, at any given point in time. And things can change very fast—but so do you.

You don’t live in a void. Other people are always doing this, that, and the other thing. It’s just the way it is. Take a “feeling of having done something wrong.” You will usually have both the feeling that you have done something wrong, and the feeling that THAT idea is wrong. They can both be TRUE in that they both exist, but they cannot both be true as to accuracy.

As long as both are present and part of NOW, you see what is, so you will see/perceive BOTH because they exist.

Food for thought.

And remember, it is exactly that kind of effect on a target’s mind that is sought by psychological warfare tacticians.

You have a problem.

You can’t decide.

You can’t tell what is true.

Or how about this one…

Question everything.

Think that is a “good policy” to have?

No, actually it’s not—not as a policy, that’s for sure. It’s actually quite subversive because it pre-supposes that you are an idiot who can’t tell the truth about something, or that you are an idiot who just accepts whatever passing data crosses your path instantly as truth. Either or both must be taken as a given to even pre-suppose a NEEDING to “question everything.”

Well, here’s what my answer might be, to the person that invented that particular subversive policy:

OK. Why should someone “question everything” when they don’t have a question in the FIRST PLACE?

Sometimes there are things to question, but that’s not the same as actually being uncertain and needing to question in order to find the truth. It’s more of a rhetorical question.

I’ll give you a question that isn’t a question, because neither you nor I have a question about what I’m going to ask. Some like to call this particular rhetorical question “the real question.”

Question: Why are you trying to sell to the rest of us that we are inherently blind, wrong, and ignorant and needing “fixing”?

Everyone’s words don’t need to be questioned as to their truthfulness, but YOURS most certainly do.

Other Tactics of Psychological Warfare

Basically, all tactics of psychological warfare include using mind games on enemies. These are some modern tactics that are extremely dangerous and destructive, however they can be used in any situation:

(1) Heart reaping: This is a tactic where the enemy is successfully distracted from his mission by hearing a suggestive conversation that is directly related to the topic of the mission. His body and mind are disturbed because the nerve synapses will light up and the brain will focus on this feeling.

(2) Long-Distance Suggestion: The act of using expectations to build faith that the mission is possible and that time is on their side. They will exhibit a feeling of unwavering courage.

(3) Human Trafficking: To get the enemy from his position into ambush tactics, illegally recruiting and changing the mind of the enemy.

(4) A Vigilant Disciple: A technique that makes the enemy despair and abandon his mission.

(5) Psychological Intelligence: This is a technique that uses the enemy's mind against him. It, like other psychological warfare techniques, uses surprises to distract the enemy and cause him to abandon the plan, but this also can actually defeat the enemy. This furthers the psychological warfare tactics to keep the enemy's mind positioned in any unexpected situations, or just to mess with their mind and make them doubt themselves in their mission.

(6) Mind Reading: Another tactic is called mind reading where the enemy is told to think of one thing and the person doing the reading will be able to see what the enemy is thinking by indirect reasoning. This technique could possibly work on the mind of an enemy that has advanced technology. This could come from a futuristic alien or any kind of scientific advancement. This is most effective when the enemy's mind is open to the mind-reading. It will also work best on enemies who are naive.

(7) Monitoring Profile: This is a process where profiles of the enemies are monitored in every way possible until it is possible to predict their movements. This is done using a camera or any other type of viewing device.

(8) Social Engineering: The idea here is to manipulate information and excite the enemy and distract him from the goal of the mission by using a series of propaganda and ideological beliefs.

Psychological warfare tactics will most likely evolve just as humans are constantly evolving. Technology and science will probably come out with a versions of this stuff. The idea is to keep disrupting your enemy's mind and stop the mission from happening until the enemy is gone.

CHAPTER 3: THE GREATEST EXPONENTS OF THE ART OF PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE

Learn to Analyze Friends, Coworkers, Lovers

Learning to apply psychology to friends, coworkers, and lovers is primarily a matter of boundaries. Each person might have different interests in their possible angle of manipulation. Each of us plays a number of different roles throughout our lives. In one role, we are called to be a family member. This might refer to your given or born family, or it might refer to your chosen family. “Chosen family” refers to the people who you include in your life to the closest degree. This might include friends or other people to which you have chosen to be closest.

Coworkers include people we are often required to be around. Some lucky people get to choose who they work with, but most of us are required to work with people at random. Friends are a category of people who we choose to spend our time with, mostly doing enjoyable activities. Lastly, lovers include those with whom we choose to be romantic.

When dealing with friends, we must establish the types of boundaries we want to have. Friendships should bolster your health and overall well-being.

Coworkers are a little trickier because these are not people we necessarily choose to be around. Having a good relationship with coworkers means that you are able to be pleasant and nice and effective in the workplace, while not asking too much about the intimate details of their lives.

Family is yet another category of people with whom we must figure out our relationships. In some cases, a relationship with family members is not possible or necessary. For people who grew up with abusive parents, it can be healthy to cut out traditional family members and grow a new chosen family. However, for many people, family connections are deep and important.

Once you have firmly established the different roles for the people in your life, you can start analyzing whether or not the relationships are equitable. You might find that someone has set up the relationship to be more beneficial for them than for you. You might find that you are manipulating someone else!

Confidence and Charisma

Confidence and charisma are ways to both employ dark psychological tactics on others as well as protect yourself from being manipulated. What do you think of when you think about confidence?

Rather than focusing on the modern conception of positive psychology’s confidence, let’s roll back the tape of history a little bit and consider Machiavelli’s style of confidence. Machiavellianism is defined as a cold and calculating ability to work for and towards your own goals, for yourself. It does not emphasize morality or empathy, and it is an essentially cynical mindset.

Nice guys finish last. That’s the mindset of Machiavellianism. It is all about strength. Cynicism helps to frame the world in a realistic way. People are out to get you and they want to stop you from accomplishing your goals. Think about it. There are not many people who are actually just in the world. Justice is a concept that is very fluid, and it is rarely placed on the right people. The world is filled with predators, people who want to take advantage of other people. The world is filled with con artists, scams, mind control, brainwashing, and darkness.

Looking Inward

One thing that many people have to do to reach this state of confidence is address their unfinished business. This is not business in the conventional meaning of the word. This is business in any form, whether it comes from past relationships, things that happened, things that you have been putting off for a while, or many other things. There can be many sources of unfinished business that have to be addressed.

Non-verbal Communication

Non-verbal communication is a huge part of your life, whether you realize it or not. Each time that you talk to a person, there are tons of messages that are being conveyed through the slightest body movements. When you are talking to someone, and you are listening to what they are saying, you are using your mind to connect with them. However, your sight, smell, hearing, and other senses also perceive tons of information that is processed automatically.

Self-Realization

Self-realization is a term that comes from the humanistic school of psychology. It references the idea that each person has an authentic self somewhere that can be reached through the process of understanding the self and doing work to achieve a more authentic and real you.

Communication

Communication is a huge part of being an effective leader, and it is very important if you want to have charisma and confidence. We use words to describe things, people, feelings, attitudes, theories, philosophies, and so on. We can choose many different words to describe the same thing—and this is where the trouble often starts.

You Are What You Think

Ever heard the expression, “you are what you eat”? There is a variation on that phrase that I enjoy, it goes: “You are what you think.” When you think negative thoughts about yourself, you are participating in a sort of self-loathing, self-fulfilling prophecy. If you are always telling yourself that you are lazy and worthless, you encourage yourself to do types of behaviors that you consider worthless or lazy. You start to think about yourself as the worst version of yourself. This is something that needs to be battled against. Positive thinking is much better for your overall health. It will improve your mood and attention span and even your physical health.

CHAPTER 4: WHAT CAN WE

LEARN FROM SUN TZU AND

MACHIAVELLI?

Ultimately, Sun Tzu and Machiavelli both discuss power. They do this in different ways and have different areas of emphasis, but the bottom line is that both sets of ideas are based on gaining, maintaining, and exercising power. As a leader, power can seem like an abstract concept that is difficult to grasp and put into actionable ideas. Two very actionable concepts appear as key themes in both The Art of War and The Prince—deception, and perception. This chapter explores how being able to strategically deploy deception in a range of situations can lead to a significant advantage for leaders. It also shows how being able to control, influence, and even manipulate perception is a vital part of powerful leadership.

Sun Tzu’s Deception—Updated and Applied

Let’s take a look at some of the ways that Sun Tzu spoke of deception in The Art of War and how these can be interpreted and understood in the modern era.

“When able to attack, seem unable” is one of the most famous sections of The Art of War.

Essentially, we can apply the idea of “attack” in the sense of “an aggressive or outgoing course of action.” Think of the term “plan of attack”—it does not literally have to be violent. With this new, non-literal definition of attack in mind, what are some of the ways we can apply Sun Tzu’s famous maxim?

Personal Attacks

One of the key applications of seeming unable to attack is within the personal sphere of career and business. Many corporate environments feature a range of highly coveted promotions that are known about and sought after by many. This is where the concept of “office politics” comes from. Even the most mundane office environment is likely to have a range of rivalries and dramas. Almost anyone who has ever worked in the modern era will be aware of the focus of these dynamics—rivals trying to push each other out, pull off feats of one-upmanship, and look better than their foes.

Guess what? The most effective way to attack is to do so when no one sees it coming. If you are going for a promotion, keep it as secret as possible. If you are not perceived as a threat, as a challenger, you will be off the radar in terms of competition. If you are targeting someone’s job, keep it secret. They will never know your attack is coming and will be unable to defend themselves against your intentions in time.

Large Scale Attacks

The idea of hiding your intention to attack so your targets are unprepared does not just apply on a small scale, personal level. It also works on a larger scale, such as the actions and strategic plans of an entire organization. This concept is easy to illustrate with an example—Apple product launches.

Think about the drama and excitement that comes with the launch of a new Apple product. People speculate like crazy about what the new unveiling will bring. Apple is as secretive as possible ahead of time. Then, on the day of the launch, the product is revealed and usually announced to be on sale within a very short period of time. As a result of this, competitors are on the back foot. They never know exactly what is coming and what they should do as a result. The launch of the original iPhone was a game-changer—Apple did not necessarily seem set to attack the portion of the tech market that they chose. As a result of this, competing firms had no real time to prepare. Look at the fates of Blackberry and Motorola if you doubt this concept.

Stealth

Another famous quote on deception from The Art of War states “when using forces, seem inactive.” This is truer than ever these days. We live in an era where people are encouraged to broadcast their every thought, plan, and intention through social media. Countless cases of people being caught out in terms of identity fraud, affairs, or going against workplace rules have come to light because of people not being cautious enough. If you work quietly and behind the scenes, you have a significant advantage over those who do not.

One of the key areas in which working behind the scenes can work is politics—both in the electoral sense and in general. Often, politicians focus heavily on preparing their views, appearance, and perception in a way that makes them seem favorable in comparison to a known rival, then out of nowhere, a little-known challenger will make a massive push and catch the favorites off guard. It’s not as if the newcomer started overnight—they likely began to work diligently and quietly a long time before. They just had the good sense to not make a big deal of what they were doing, which would give their rivals a chance to prepare and take countermeasures.

It is not enough to just act quietly—it is sometimes vital to seem specifically inactive. This can be done through sleight of hand. Let’s say, for example, a skill is valued in a workplace. A number of people are working hard to acquire this skill in the hope of advancing up the career ladder. Someone else is also acquiring this skill—but in secret. They not only do this secretly but make a point of seeming uninterested or uninvolved whenever the topic of the new skill arises. This is an example of proactively hiding one’s efforts in order to gain a strategic advantage.

The Illusion of Distance

“When near, make the enemy believe you are far away” states The Art of War. This is a powerful concept that can be applied in a number of fields.

Human beings have evolved to be conscious of the immediate and obvious threats to their safety and prosperity. If something is obviously dangerous and nearby, our guard goes up and our defenses heighten. If something seems like a distant prospect, however, we are less worried by it at the time. Let’s look at modern warfare to see how this works.

Take two modern situations—the conflict in Korea between the North and South, and the ongoing threat of terrorism. In Korea, the threat is obvious and near. Troops are massed on either side of the border and there is a constant awareness of the potential for conflict. Both sides are prepared and ready, and therefore are in something of a stalemate. Terrorism, on the other hand, remains under the radar. There is no formal membership structure. People assume they are safe and then, suddenly, a bomb goes off. The proximity of the threat is unknown at any given time and therefore cannot be adequately expected.

So, what are some of the non-violent uses of strategic deception relating to proximity?

Market entry is one area of business where seeming to be distant can provide an advantage. If you wish to enter a new market, such as a region, then it may be useful to prepare to do so quietly and discretely. If your competitors don’t know you are close to entering a market, their attention is not drawn to it. They are unlikely to assume the market is worthy of consideration as a result of your interest in it.

The Power of Machiavellian Perception

One of the key recurring themes in The Prince is that a leader can get away with almost anything if he appears a certain way in the eyes of the masses. Therefore, almost any true nature can be covered up by careful management of perception. Numerous examples show this is as true in the modern day as it was in the time of Machiavelli.

Countless corporations are adept at using marketing to seem as if they are ethical or praiseworthy while secretly pursuing entirely different motives. Politicians are another prime example of this idea. How many candidates running for office, or even prominent politicians, have claimed to be wholesome and family-friendly and then have been exposed to be engaged in infidelity or some other vice?

Interestingly, even when someone or something’s true nature is exposed, many people will often still rush to defend it. Why? The person or entity in question was so skilled at using perception to appear a certain way while being another, that the false perception is deeply embedded in people’s minds. People hate feeling like they have been duped, so will do almost anything to cling to the false image they held. Think of the countless celebrities who have been caught doing disgraceful acts but still command legions of fans who claim the individuals in question were simply “misunderstood.” Perception is powerful—use it to your advantage.

Keeping a true behavior or nature hidden is harder in the modern era than it ever has been. Think of the countless examples of old photographs or emails giving the game away. Even old data can be hacked and released into the public to devastating effect. It is therefore absolutely vital that anything you wish to remain hidden is kept in the utmost secrecy. Stay away from email, text messages, social media—anything that could come back to haunt you. Conduct your true plans in secrecy and away from any chance of ever being exposed.

While doing one thing in secret, it’s important to leave a trail of doing something different and acceptable in the eyes of the public. Let’s say, for example, as a manager you need to get rid of one of your workers. You know you must plot their downfall in secret. It’s not enough to plot and scheme behind closed doors—you must appear to be very fair, even on the doomed worker’s side, in public. If done skillfully enough, they will eventually feel almost bad for you when you fire them, as you will seem like a true friend who had their back. Really, their demise was inevitable the entire time.

Deception and Perception—Sun Tzu and

Machiavelli Combined

Like many powerful concepts, deception and perception are more potent together than apart. If you take away one core idea from this chapter, it should be that it is not enough to actively do one thing in secret—you need to put out false information and seem to be doing something very different in the eyes of the masses.

To really apply the ideas in this chapter, always keep two ideas in mind:

1. Which parts of my current course of action should I do in secret?

2. How can I appear to be doing something different to others?

It’s also important to always remain aware of the variables in any given situation. A form of deception that worked once might not work again.

CHAPTER 5: DANGEROUS

DARK PERSONALITIES

The Dark Triad

The “dark triad” is a collection of character traits that are present in every person. However, these traits are more prevalent in some than in others. When they are predominant in an individual’s personality, they can lead to inappropriate behavior, and in some cases, to criminal activity. These traits are the hallmark of manipulators. While it is not entirely known how they form, we do have a good understanding of how they can be fostered.

When one of these traits is predominant in a person, you will find that they are generally disruptive in many ways, but highly creative and energetic in others. Moreover, people who exhibit dark triad traits in high order are generally more skilled and intelligent individuals who have a keen sense of the world around them. This is why they are able to make the most of their desires and push their agenda along.

In some cases, you’ll see them as people who will stop at nothing to get what they want. Other times, you will see them as people who don’t care much about the feelings of others, especially if that gets in the way of their achieving something.

So, if you are dealing with someone who exhibits any of these traits, or heaven forbid, all three, then you really need to watch where you’re stepping. Often, the best course of action is to get away from them. If you try to do battle with people exhibiting dark triad characteristics, you need to be several steps ahead of them. But, be warned that winning a war with these folks may turn out to be winning a war of attrition more than one based on skills and tactics.

Manipulators are all around us. There is no question about that. Some are very easy to spot, while others may go unnoticed. Some manipulators act out of impulse, while others are perfectly aware of what they are doing. In such cases, manipulators may not spare any expense to get what they want. Others may have a little more moral grounding, thereby enabling them to set certain boundaries as to what they will and will not do.

Narcissism

Narcissism is broadly defined as love for oneself. This name comes from the legend of Narcissus, who was in love with himself. From this legend, narcissism is used to define a person who is extremely selfish. While it is true that we are all selfish to a certain extent, the average narcissist is so enamored with themselves that they will hatch whatever schemes they can come up with to place themselves in the spotlight.

Narcissism is typically associated with feelings of entitlement and conceit. These are individuals who seek to be the center of attention at all times while trying to get others to do their bidding. The most rudimentary of narcissists don’t really care how they get others to go along with them. All they care about is that others do what they want. End of story.

More skilled narcissists are able to use many tactics at their disposal to get others to go along. Often, these types of narcissists seem charming and very pleasant.

Yet, it’s all a ploy. Their main objective is to get others to trust them and admire them. As long as they are admired and shown constant displays of affection, they are good with people. The problem occurs when they are not given the feedback they seek. Often, it is a question of having their ego stroked.

For example, a narcissist will become livid if they get no recognition for the work they do. This is compounded if they feel that they have put their best foot forward. The lack of recognition will drive them up the wall. On the contrary, if they are showered with praise and accolades, then all is good. They bask in the glory and seek to move on to the next display of affection and appreciation.

The biggest issue with narcissists is that they are control freaks. Since they feel that everyone must do their bidding, they need to control everything and everyone around them. Consequently, if a narcissist feels that they have lost control of their environment, they are liable to go to all means necessary to ensure they regain full control. If this means destroying people along the way, they may not stop to ponder the effects of their actions on others.

A typical narcissist is formed in childhood, usually as the result of neglect and oftentimes abuse. Generally speaking, kids who go through abandonment and neglect in childhood tend to develop issues with control and lack of affection. If untreated, these conditions can develop into a full-blown narcissistic personality. In adulthood, a typical narcissist may have serious trouble being part of social groups, leading them to isolation. While extroverted narcissists may have a lot of friends early on, they may end up becoming isolated as they struggle to form genuine relationships.

If you suspect that you are in the presence of a narcissist, be prepared for someone who demands a great deal of attention and affection. In addition, they will try to control every aspect of your life. In the end, you will have to either move away or play their game as best you can.

Machiavellianism

Machiavellianism refers to the teachings of Machiavelli, a renaissance political thinker and strategist. His most famous work, The Prince, is a classic for all students of political science. In this book, he outlines what a prince, or any leader for that matter, must do in order to achieve power and control. Many famous phrases are quoted from this book such as “divide and conquer” and “it is better to be feared than to be loved.”

From this, psychologists have coined Machiavellianism when referring to a character trait in which an individual is cunning and calculating. Highly intelligent individuals can be Machiavellian in the way they act. They can be very methodical in their approach. In the worst of cases, they can be ruthless and will stop at nothing until they get what they want.

This includes using people for their own purposes. Many times, Machiavellians see people as “a means to an end.” As such, they want to use people, and when they no longer serve a purpose to them, they will discard them without any regard for their feelings. Highly skilled manipulators may exhibit a considerable predominance of Machiavellianism in their personality set. If you suspect that you are dealing with such a person, then you are in for a war of attrition as they will not back down easily.

The limits to how far Machiavellianism can go essentially depend on the intelligence or support network of the person. There are cases, such as those of master criminals, who may be unable to figure out schemes for themselves but will employ those who can. This is a good example of how scruples and morals may be quite loose on some folks.

If you are dealing with a Machiavellian person, you may have to choose if you want to be in such a situation or move away from it. Generally speaking, beating a Machiavellian involves total defeat, that is, destroying them completely. For instance, if you’re dealing with someone who is defrauding others, this may involve bringing them to justice. Even then, you might be involved in a complex legal battle that you may not have the will to see through.

Psychopathy

The third element of the dark triad is psychopathy. In general terms, psychopathy is an absence of emotion. In particular, psychopaths are unable to feel empathy. They are unable to gauge how others feel. This is why they are incapable of understanding that their actions hurt others. When you look at serial killers and other types of criminals, they genuinely believe they have done nothing wrong as they are unable to comprehend the pain and anguish they have put others through. Think about white-collar criminals who embezzle pensioners out of their savings. They have no remorse over their actions as they couldn’t really care less about those affected.

In some instances, psychopathy is associated with physiological issues in the brain. When this occurs, neurochemical reactions may not take place. As a result, these individuals may be unable to process their emotions leading to flat reactions to emotion.

In other cases, it may be a purely psychological issue as psychopaths tend to have a dissociative personality. Dissociative personality is usually the result of prolonged exposure to abuse and trauma in childhood. Regardless of the type of trauma, a child may develop a dissociation between their feelings and the situations around them. This leads them to cut out their feelings from the mental processes that they carry out. Consequently, a perfectly normal person can develop into a psychopath purely through an abusive and neglectful environment.

If you are in consort with a psychopath, you had better get a good idea of what they are capable of. These individuals may be capable of just about anything. They may not necessarily have any sinister motives, but whatever they do is purely for their own pleasure and nothing else… even if it means inflicting grievous harm on others.

The Dark Triad in Action

Having just one of the dark triad traits fully developed is enough to foster an evil individual. When all three come into consort, even to a lesser degree, the individual may have no morals, scruples, or ethics. While they may not actually become serial killers, they may engage in activities that harm people in the pursuit of their personal aims and pleasures. This may lead to unspeakable acts of horror, crafty business schemes, or a relentless pursuit of power in which people fall by the wayside.

There is no real way to deal with such individuals. It takes a lot of courage and energy to stand up to them. That is why the most common course of action is to get away from them. For example, people who grow up with narcissistic parents often leave home at a young age as they are unable to put up with the behavior of their parents.

In other cases, children of Machiavellian parents tend to have their parents concoct clever ways to run their life well into adulthood. And if someone happens to grow up with a psychopathic parent, they may be in for a childhood filled with abuse.

At the end of the day, the dark triad is present in all of us. We all have some type of manifestation of these traits, though most of us will never exhibit them to a degree that is harmful to others. If you happen to recognize the predominance of these traits in your own life, it is worth doing some introspection so that you can determine if you need to get a better handle on your feelings and thoughts. After all, letting any of these traits run wild may end up consuming you to the point of emotional and psychological exhaustion.

CHAPTER 6: THE PSYCHOLOGY

OF DECEPTION, INFLUENCE

AND DOMINATION

Understanding Deception

Deception is any word or action that is capable of making someone believe something that is not true. Fraudulently providing evidence for something that is false, implying falsehood, omitting the truth, and lying are all examples of deception.

Not all types of deception count as dark psychology. At some point in their lives, everyone is going to deceive others to some extent or another. They may do so because they feel inadequate, because they feel embarrassed, or even as a kindness. For example, some studies have shown that many men lie about their height. This doesn’t mean they practice dark psychology. In addition, it is common for people to deceive themselves about a range of issues such as their happiness, their ambition, and their health.

Deception becomes dark when it is carried out with an indifferent or negative intention towards the victim. Dark deception is an understanding that the truth is not going to serve the deceptive aims of the deceiver. The deceiver is going to take the truth and either ignore, hide, or change it in favor of a version of events that suits their purpose a little bit better. Those who employ dark deception do it as a way to harm, rather than to help. They want to foster their own interests, and they don’t care who gets hurt in the process.

Deceptive Tactics

There are many different deceptive tactics that the manipulator is able to use. Remember that this deception is the process of hiding information from the victim in order to reach their overall goals. There are four categories of tactics that fall under the umbrella of deception, and any given deception is likely to involve a blend of each of them, which can make it even harder for the victim to figure out what is going on.

The first deceptive tactic is lying. This is the first technique that the manipulator is going to choose as soon as they know that the victim is susceptible to lies and has trouble figuring out the truth. This is often because the victim is someone who trusts others. Or the manipulator may have worked on this victim for some time so that they lower their guard. The manipulator is able to find ways to hide the lies and then explain the discrepancies if the victim starts to notice.

Implication is another form of deception. Implication is when the manipulator suggests something false is true, rather than outwardly stating it. If the manipulator wants to deceive a victim about how much money they have, then they could either lie or imply about it. A lie would be something like, “Oh I’m a successful guy. I’ve made a lot of money,” even though the manipulator knows this information is not true. But when they imply they are rich, they may say something like, “It’s so stressful trying to handle things with my accountant. Trying to get my tax bill down takes a lot of my time.” The manipulator has acted and spoken in a way that makes the other person think they are wealthy, but they never overtly state it.

Omission is another option for the deceiver. This is a failure to mention something – usually a fact that is pretty important – that is true. Omission doesn’t use falsehood in order to cover the truth like the other two options. Instead, it ignores the truth or just leaves it out. Often this piece of information is important for the victim to know about in order to make an informed decision. The manipulator leaves this out to protect themselves and ensure that the victim doesn’t have all the information.

The final form of deception is the most elaborate, and often criminal, form. This is known as fraud. Instead of the deceiver simply lying about something from the past, this kind of deceit involves false stories, documents, and other “evidence” in order to back up their lie. The deceiver will use these things in a subtle way. They would never say something like, “I’m a doctor; take a look at my certificate!”

Instead, they will use some subtle displays to show off to the victim. They will avoid being too pushy with their fraudulent claims because they know that doing this will make the victim feel that something is wrong with the situation.

Fraud is becoming more common than ever because of the Internet. Deceivers often work with professional software in order to make fraudulent documents that look realistic. This can make it really hard to tell whether you are working with someone who is telling you the truth or if they are deceiving you.

When this dark deception starts to enter the realm of fraudulence, it can be a bad sign. It shows that the deceiver is dangerous and they are committed to sticking with dark psychology. They are risking serious criminal charges to do this kind of manipulation, and they are confident that they will be able to do this without anyone really noticing it at all.

The Art of Subtle Influence and Domination

Did you know that you do not have to be overly dominant to succeed? If you can subtly influence someone to do what you want, then you are still dominant because you are getting this person to do something they otherwise would not do. You are still exerting control. But the subject does not realize this, and thus will not be as resistant.

Sometimes, a more discreet and subtle form of dominance is in order. You may not want to flex your biceps and be the one in charge. You just want to get your way with a person who intimidates you. Therefore, you can use subtle influence and persuasion to your advantage. You can be dominant without letting the other person know. This influence can work great with people who are in charge of you, such as bossy family members, elders, and superiors at work. It can help you get what you want without a big power struggle and stressful resistance.

You are about to learn about all three of these methods of influence. So be prepared to gain lots of power. The world is in your hands, even if you are not the dominant alpha that this book is teaching you to be. No one will know what you are doing and you can have dominance without even trying.

Rewards

Most people operate on a reward principle. You can use this to your advantage by making someone feel that there is a reward in store for them for doing what you want.

Benefits

Always point out the benefits to someone. Show him what he will gain by doing something. The more appealing you make something seem, the more likely he will take advantage of it

Reciprocity

Do someone a huge favor and then call on him or her later to return the favor.

Liking

People will do things for those they like. So, gaining the favor and pleasure of someone who is dominant over you can ensure that you get lots of brownie points.

Make Someone Feel Good

There are a number of ways to make someone feel good. When you do so, you essentially make sure that this person wants to serve you to gain more pleasure.

Touch creates a dopamine rush in someone’s mind and creates a strong bond between two people.

Eye contact can also accomplish this. Warm eye contact, rather than staring someone down, and pretending to be submissive by smiling and looking away can make your dominant counterpart feel really good.

The power of words cannot be underestimated. A simple compliment or thank you can go a long way. People love feeling good about themselves, so make sure they feel good because of what you say. Find out a person’s insecurities and play on that by reassuring him that his insecurities are not true. Flatter him by telling him what a great person he is and how great a leader he is.

Also, giving someone a warm cup of coffee or some other hot beverage can really make a difference in how they feel about you. It can subtly influence them to change their thinking about you and to view you as a warm person.

Threats

Threatening someone’s needs or sense of safety by pointing out what he stands to lose is an excellent motivator for most people. However, you do not want to overtly threaten someone in order to avoid a power struggle. Instead, you want to act as an advisor serving his best interests. Point out ways that he may lose out if he does not take a certain action. Tell him that you care about him and would hate to see him miss a great opportunity.

Scarcity

You can use this principle of influence to your advantage by making someone feel that he must do something because the opportunity is passing by quickly. Speak to your subject with a degree of urgency and point out that the opportunity is only here for a short time.

Extreme Loss

Learn what your subject cares about. That way, you know what he has to lose. Then find ways to work that into your persuasion. Most people care about their loved ones, their jobs, and their social status, so you can safely employ those as threats. Tell your subject how he stands to lose something he loves if he does not act in a certain way.

Leading Questions

A leading question plants an idea in someone’s mind, getting him to say something or make a conclusion on his own. Leading questions are powerful ways to get your own way.

Yes Framing

In yes framing, you get your superior to grant you permission by framing his mind to say yes. You start by asking a series of questions that make him think “Yes.” Once he has said yes, a few times, ask for your favor and notice how he says yes!

Idea Planting

The minute you bring up an idea or topic, you automatically put it in someone’s brain. Continually mentioning it, especially in casual conversation, can plant the idea in someone’s brain enough to make him think about it a lot. Then, when he is forced to decide, the idea that he has been mulling over all day will be on the forefront of his brain and he will propose it as if it were his own idea. He will be open to your idea because he thinks it is his own.

Leading (Literally)

Sometimes, physically leading a person in a certain direction exerts a strong influence over him.

Hiding What You Want

Let’s say you work with a stubborn person who seems to have it in for you. To get your way, you want to make it seem like you don’t want something when you really do. Therefore, you get this person to think that you don’t want something and that he or she should choose it.

CHAPTER 7: THE ART OF

BLACKMAIL, MANIPULATION AND BRAINWASHING

Blackmail

The next form of mental manipulation is the classic blackmail strategy. Here a manipulator uses an object or piece of information to control the subject. Control mechanisms for blackmail generally stem from the fear of exposure to topics that would cause either social embarrassment, actual loss, harm inflicted on the subject, or their loved ones, or an induced state of helplessness.

While the subject being blackmailed may want to disclose the wrongdoing, they most often won’t because the consequences of telling outweigh the benefits. Experienced blackmailers know to work on a subject’s most sensitive areas.

A classic blackmail line is this:

“If you tell anyone, I’ll tell them it was yours!”

In-Depth Techniques of Manipulation

Projection

Projection is easy to pinpoint because it often consists a manipulator being unwilling or unable to see their own shortcomings and avoiding being held responsible for anything they have done wrong in the past. In other words, a person using projection will “project” their negative behavior or actions onto another person by finding a very extended and unreasonable connection between an action of the other person and the action of the manipulator. This form of manipulation is also often used as a defense mechanism and tends to be instinctual for most people.

Denial

Denial is a very versatile form of manipulation. There are many different ways that a manipulator can deny their actions or deny the actions of another subtly. They can do this using a method known as diversion. Using diversion, a manipulator will refuse to give a straightforward answer to questions and instead will move the conversation onto a different topic time and time again to avoid the said question. This is a way of denying the answer by not even giving it. A very similar tactic to this is known as evasion; these two tactics are often confused. The difference between diversion and evasion is that while diversion intentionally steers the conversation onto a different but interesting topic, evasion is more an act of giving vague and confusing responses that seem to have no meaning or are irrelevant in the current situation.

Intimidation

There are many different forms of intimidation that can be used by a manipulator to control their victim. The first one we will discuss is known as covert intimidation. This is the subtle, indirect, or implied threats of a manipulator that puts their victim into a defensive mindset. These threats are often not threatening in a physical manner but rather in a business, social, or economic sphere. These threats are very subtle, and may not be picked up up on by the people around the victim.

Conditioning

Conditioning someone is a process of learning that happens through the use of rewards and punishments in response to or desired or not desired behavior. This can also be called operant conditioning. In this particular form of conditioning, an association is made between a behavior and a consequence of that behavior. This is not to be confused with classical conditioning which is similar but not exactly the same. All of the steps leading up to the end result of both forms of conditioning are the same; the difference lies in the very last step. Operant conditioning is based on voluntary behavior by the individual being trained, whereas classical conditioning is based on the involuntary behavior of the person being trained.

Now we can begin to see the connection between these two types of conditioning with manipulation. If a manipulator knows even the basis of these two types of conditioning it becomes very easy for them to subconsciously train their victim to bend to their every whim.

Stalking and Gossip

Stalking and gossip are very interesting and very dangerous forms of manipulation. When a manipulator stalks their victim, their intentions are very different from normal manipulative intentions. This form of manipulation is more a method of researching the victim. This is beneficial to the manipulator because it allows them to know the victim's vulnerabilities and insecurities. This form of manipulation is very different from obvious stalking. There is of course a type of stalking in which the stalker wants their victims to know that they are being stalked. This is more a method to elicit fear into the victim.

While gossip is normally fairly insignificant and not the subject of psychological studies, it can also be used as a form of manipulation. False gossip more specifically is used as a form of manipulation.

Seduction

Seduction is a form of manipulation that is very well known throughout history. It is often connected to attractive women seducing sexually frustrated men, but this form of manipulation can go both ways. It can include the use of conversation as well as sexual scripts. They may also use certain methods of nonverbal communication.

Brainwashing

Brainwashing is, without a doubt, the biggest and most complex mental manipulation tactic in a psychopath’s repertoire. If every other technique was bad, this is Game of Thrones Red Wedding half-your-favorite-characters-just-died kind of bad. The kind of bad you have a hard time even imagining.

How Does It Work?

Well, simplistically speaking, brainwashing deals with the use of ideologies or cults to slowly but steadily replace the beliefs that the victim holds on particular topics, with the newfound beliefs that the manipulator wants them to have. Those new beliefs are more in line with the manipulator’s plan. Brainwashing is convincing a subject about a particular issue so deeply that the subject no longer questions it, the same way in which we would view a universal truth such as the sun rises in the east.

There are multiple ways in which brainwashing is carried out; however, some of the most common and most effective techniques are listed below:

Isolation

Since it is much easier to control people individually than it is to control them when they are in groups, a common tactic to start the whole process of brainwashing is to isolate the subject. The subject is initially put in a situation where they are distanced from their friends, family, and loved ones. This not only makes it easier to control how they think and act, but also creates a form of forced dependency, so the person who is being worked on feels like the only person they can depend on or rely on is the manipulator.

By positioning themselves as their only source of information as well as their only source of support, the manipulator has created an artificial ecosystem that the subject thinks they need to survive. This feeling makes the subject not only see the manipulator as a hero, but also makes them less likely to allow third-party influencers to influence or question what they know to be right or true. Isolation is critical to the initial stages of brainwashing as it makes the subject more malleable and also ensures that they don’t rebel or act out against the restrictions or the new reality that the manipulator is slowly enforcing on them. Worst of all, if you are dealing with a skilled manipulator, the subject won’t even know they are being isolated and will blame their friends or surroundings for the things that are happening.

Mental Abuse

Another common ruse is the emotional battering technique. Here the manipulator uses common forms of mental abuse such as bullying, public shaming, humiliation, embarrassment, insulting, and badgering to weaken or mentally destabilize the subject. Once the victim feels like they have no choice but to give in, the manipulator starts to teach the victim how they need to act or think to escape this hellish environment they have been put into.

Physical Abuse

Mental abuse, however, is also often substituted with physical abuse. A lot of these techniques are commonly used in wartime scenarios or even by police to get the subject to act in the manner desired. Common physical abuse tactics include light therapy, waterboarding, sleep deprivation, and starvation. Subjects are also put in cold, completely silent, or extremely loud situations where the sound balance damages them mentally. These constant physical tribulations have a way of overwhelming the subject and making them more susceptible to the manipulator and the suggestions, making it a critical brainwashing tool, particularly for militaries.

Repetitive Music

Another fan favorite when it comes to brainwashing is the use of repetitive music. Scientific studies have shown that when a person is in an environment where they not only are listening to a specific repetitive beat but a beat that is in rhythm with the beating of one’s heart (generally at about 45 to about 72 beats per minute), the subject enters a state of consciousness referred to as the Alpha state. (The normal state you are in is the Beta state.) The Alpha state, however, makes you 25 times more susceptible to suggestions and as such is used as a common brainwashing tactic.

Selective Contact

Selective contact deals with the social control aspect of cult-like brainwashing techniques. Here, instead of isolating the individual, the manipulator only allows the subject to have access to similarly minded individuals. This creates a sense of false enforcement. The person being brainwashed is surrounded by people who are preaching or stating the same things the manipulator is saying, and this starts to give weight to the manipulator’s words. They must be right because they are all saying the same thing. It’s a lot like social proof or mob mentality. The idea is that if so many people are saying it, it must be right.

Us Versus Them Mentality

The “us versus them” mindset is a common form of brainwashing seen mostly in teenagers, particularly in high school or in specific wings of colleges such as frat houses. Here the subject seems to be given a choice: Do you want to be with us or do you want to be with them? The choice is meant to create a sense of loyalty or obedience. Now the manipulator can ask the subject for just about anything, and because the subject thinks they need to do it to stay in the group, they are much more likely to comply.

Incessant Push and Pull

Another familiar tactic is the push and pull scenario. Here, the manipulator plays good cop, bad cop on a routine basis to upset the subject’s sense of normalcy. On one hand, they are being loved and adored, while on the other hand, they are being abused or demeaned. The manipulator uses positive reinforcement when the subject is doing what they want them to do, and then when the subject steps out of line, the manipulator comes down on them with negative reactions to get the subject to associate those actions with negative consequences.

CHAPTER 8: MANIPULATIVE

POLITICAL PROPAGANDA AND

MEDIA TACTICS

History has given us some amazing examples of propaganda, and two of the most striking forms originate from the Soviet Union and Nazi Germany. The two nations used effective methods of propaganda to influence their citizens into believing that they had the correct side of the story. They bombarded the population with varying forms of propaganda designed to persuade them to toe the party line.

Here Are Some of the Ways the Soviet Union

Disseminated Propaganda

1) Schools and youth organizations: They formed a program named the Young Pioneers for children aged between ten and fifteen years old, which taught their members to oppose the enemies of socialism.

2) Media: Poor people in Russia had no way of accessing any form of entertainment, so the Russian propaganda machine used this fact to “educate” them and keep them informed.

3) Propaganda trains: They authorized the use of propaganda trains filled with printing presses, projection equipment, radios, and public speakers to preach to the masses.

4) Posters: They regularly depicted the “new man,” who believed that hard work and severe discipline were the best methods to overcome the more basic instincts of mankind.

5) The printed word: Russian people were only allowed to read newspapers that were favorable to the Communist cause.

These methods were designed to encourage Russian people to band together and oppose any form of rebellion. People listened and watched the propaganda together and formed like-minded groups. Punishments for non-conformists were swift and harsh. It was impossible to tune out the noise of propaganda, as it was literally everywhere.

Propaganda in Nazi Germany

The emergence of Nazi Germany took political propaganda to a new level. Hitler was a master of propaganda, and he appointed Joseph Goebbels as the head of his campaign to ensure the Nazi Party was seen in a positive light. He was also tasked with ensuring the German people had no access to harmful information regarding the Nazi movement.

The production of powerful propaganda films furthered this display. The films were made to highlight several issues and bring them to the nation's attention:

The greatness of Hitler and his vision for the future

The Jewish people: The Nazis used beautiful and artistic posters to promote the hatred and fear of Jewish people and other non-conformist groups. They used beauty and art to mask the ugliness and hatred of their message.

The way forward for the future: They promoted the idea of a “master race” that began with “perfect children.” Any imperfection was an insult to the Nazi vision of perfection.

The mistreatment of Germans in Europe: As WWII became imminent, the Nazis recognized the need to demonize the rest of Europe. They did this by highlighting how badly migrant Germans were being treated in Eastern Europe.

While films like Triumph of the Will (1935) addressed serious subjects, Goebbels recognized the power of entertainment propaganda.

He also recognized the power of saturation.

They used symbolism to its full extent. The use of the swastika, the salute, and uniforms made sure that people in the street recognized the power the Nazis held. While Hitler understood the importance of grandiose titles for his henchmen, he was astute about his own title. He refused to be called President, as he claimed the title was too “august” for him. This appealed to the common person, and Hitler garnered popular approval with this move.

Nazi Germany was a prime example of mass brainwashing. The Nazis used a barrage of information, images, and events to create an environment of hatred and reverence.

Political Propaganda in the US

As one election passes, the preparations for the next one begins. We are constantly being told to give our vote to one candidate or the other for different reasons. While this is a fact that nobody can escape, are we hardwired to believe the propaganda, or are we capable of making an informed vote?

Recognizing the techniques used is the first step to becoming a savvier voter. Let's examine some of the more popular ways that politicians have used propaganda while angling for our vote:

Presidential Ads

We need to travel back to 1952 to witness one of the earliest ad campaigns for a presidential candidate. “Ike for President” was a catch song used to promote Dwight Eisenhower. In 1960 JFK also used a catchy song to head his campaign.

The Bandwagon Technique

This is a technique that appeals to the masses and makes people feel part of a movement. This type of ad plays on the insecurities of the masses and the desire to belong.

The Testimonial Technique

Also referred to as the “endorsement” technique. These can include endorsements from political hard hitters, media outlets, sportsmen and women, and celebrities.

Symbolism Technique

When a candidate is trying to appeal to a base feeling of patriotism, they will use all-American symbols to stir the emotions.

Glittering Generalities

These are statements that use vague words and phrases to influence the public. They have no real meaning; they are mostly emotionally appealing and are designed to have a positive effect on the general population.

The Plain Folk Technique

This is when politicians try to appeal to the man on the street. They may have had Ivy League educations and never known what it is like to “miss out,” but politicians know how to appeal to the common person.

Stacking the Cards

This type of propaganda may sound harmless, but it can be devastating. The perpetrator will highlight their personal accomplishments and triumphs without addressing any of their failures. They will then proceed to trash their opponent and drag their name through the mud.

Media Manipulation and Subliminal Influencing

Media is all about influence. Everything you see in the media is designed to influence you. However, have you ever wondered if the media is also manipulating you? Some believe that the media is more a tool of manipulation than influence. What if these people are “onto something,” as they say on social media? According to Wikipedia, media manipulation is “all about techniques in which partisans create an image or argument that favors their particular interests.” Basically, the media can create a certain perception of an issue, a person, a group, or anything to the public. The public believe it because the media is supposed to be the ultimate source of factual information. The media does this through the use of subliminal messages.

Anybody that consumes media content is susceptible to media manipulation and subliminal influencing. For years, subliminal messages have been regarded as one of the dark arts used in persuasion and manipulation. Advertisers, marketers, politicians, and the media are believed to use subliminal messages to manipulate and modify people’s behavior. But how effective are media manipulation and subliminal influencing? Do subliminal messages actually work?

It is believed that the media subliminally influences consumers’ perceptions by deliberately using communication techniques that are engineered to generate specific responses. The aim is to get people to do things that they ordinarily would not do. In short, both the perception and response to subliminal influencing happen in the subconscious mind.

Visual subliminal messages in the media are either sub-visual or embedded. Sub-visual cues are flashed very quickly in media content, so quickly that you cannot perceive them. Embedded messages are static visuals in plain sight, with an unchanging environment. They are often used in advertisements. An example is the dollar bill in some KFC burger ads. Auditory subliminal messages are either sub-audible or backmasking. Sub-audible messages have low-volume sound inserted into high-volume audios, such that you cannot hear them. Backmasking is a visual-audio message recorded in reverse so that the actual message is hidden when it is played forward.

Now, how exactly do these messages influence your behavior? One of the proposed theories is that subliminal priming works to distribute activation in the semantic network. Humans have semantically connected links of concepts in the brain, and each concept exists in a bigger network of interconnected concepts. Take Microsoft as an example: When prompted about Microsoft, you will probably think of Bill Gates, computers, Windows, etc. Microsoft is often associated with innovation. So, if you were to briefly flash a Microsoft logo to someone and then ask them to complete a task, they are likely to be more innovative in their approach because their subconscious has picked up on what Microsoft is associated with.

Because subliminal messages are targeted at your subconscious so that an advertiser, politician, and other people can influence you to do things that you ordinarily may not agree to do, they count as a form of manipulation. This explains why people think the media is all-powerful. They understand the power the media has and how they use that power. Media manipulation and subliminal influencing should be considered unethical and treated as such because they perfect the art of exploiting a person’s unawareness.

CHAPTER 9: WHAT IS

PSYOP?

Definition of Psychological Operation

The term “psychological warfare” is often used interchangeably with “psychological operations” or “political warfare.” The techniques are similar, but the terms have distinctive meanings.

According to the United States Joint Chiefs of Staff, psychological operations are synchronized and coordinated activities, planned by military leaders, targeted against enemies, that are designed to instill in their target audiences the desired reaction in support of a military operation or larger strategy.

Psychological operations (PSYOP) is considered a sub-set of psychological warfare and are designed to influence human psychology to the point of view of change and/or action in support of an agenda. The objective of military psychological operations is to induce or reinforce foreign beliefs and attitudes favorable to the originator’s objectives.

The term is often used by the military to refer to the use of propaganda techniques including leaflet drops, radio broadcasts, and loudspeaker broadcasts.

Psychological Operation in Everyday Life

Here are simple examples of the techniques used in everyday, ordinary life.

Think about how a police officer will direct traffic. They will position themselves on the street corner. They will direct you where to go.

Think about how a police officer will stand on the corner of the road. He will be seen frequently enough to seem like he is doing something. He will seem busy. He will also direct traffic off the road and into the parking lot. He will direct traffic to a specific parking area for a specific person, like the President of the United States or a celebrity.

These people are practicing a time-honored technique that has been used by this group of special people; those who were trained in psychological operations.

Think about how you may be directed to the parking lot in an airport or for a big event. They will direct you and change your way of thinking. You will be directed another way, to where they want you to go.

The Psyop Person

The psyop person may look the same as someone you know or any normal person. The person may be someone from your workplace or your friend. The person could be a co-worker. They could also be your leader. The person may be working under an identity, a so-called personality, or even a new appearance (such as a new hairstyle and new facial hair).

They could be a person of influence in your religious and your spiritual activities. They could also be in your police station and your court system. They could be placing themselves inside your armed forces and the military.

They can be ministers, pastors, police officers, tax collectors, doctors or nurses, lawyers, judges, teachers, social workers, and many others of importance.

The psyop person is someone who is disguising themselves as a normal citizen. They are not a real citizen and they are just playing at being a citizen.

They could be someone you have known for a long time. They could be your friend or acquaintance. You may trust them. They may have asked you to trust them. They could be someone who has been building a relationship with you for a long time. They could be your counselor, a working partner, your confidante, or even a close friend.

They could be someone you work with who you know to be one of the good guys, but who has actually been altered to believe something different.

Consequences of Having a Psyop Person Around You

When you have a person who you know and trust, who is planning to cause you harm, you may not see it coming and you will not be able to avoid it.

The person who you know and trust will explain why they have to hurt you in order to further their agenda. They will explain how they “have no choice” and that you “would understand” if they explained the reasons.

When you believe that your loved ones have done something harmful to you, what do you do? You want answers. You want to understand what happened. You want your voice heard. You want to be informed of what transpired. You want the truth and you want the truth to be known. You don’t want to be deceived or lied to. You want to be acknowledged.

If you are close to a psyop person, they will want you to remain close to them and they will want you to remain as you are.

Ways to Overcome a Psyop Person—Face the Psyop Person and Speak the Truth

When a psyop person speaks with you, they will try to lie to you. When a psyop person is lying to you, they will be nervous. When they know that you know, they will become nervous and they will try to hide/mask their nervousness. This will be a giveaway that they are hiding something.

If the psyop person wants to harm you, they will be more aggressive when they hide/mask their nervousness. This will also betray them.

Another thing will be when the psyop person speaks words that are not related to your conversation (words that are irrelevant). When you speak to a psyop person and their response veers away from the “main” conversation, this will betray them as well.

CHAPTER 10: WHY DO

PEOPLE JOIN CULTS? HOW DO

CULTS WORK?

What is a Cult?

Ask 10 people and you will receive 10 different answers.

For some, it's the mindless groupies of a rock or sports star who hang off their every word.

For some, it's a religious sect that chooses to worship in a non-traditional way or at non-traditional times.

For others, it's an umbrella term that encompasses a variety of supposedly dangerous non-traditional beliefs or ideologies that are considered to be in some way damaging to the followers of that belief system.

I prefer to think of a cult as one person who has found so-called “truth” and then, spreads the word, not to seek criticism or further knowledge, but to bring everyone else in line to have the same belief system.

Cults are a breeding ground for easy prey. They target people who are desperate to escape from their lives, to be part of something bigger than themselves.

They are led and fed, fed and led. They give their lives to their cult and, if they were never to leave, they would never have to think for themselves again.

People crave leadership, they crave instruction.

How Cults Work

Instead of demanding that people think for themselves, they change the definition of leadership and teach people that to be happy and healthy, you must become just like their cult leader.

The leader instructs people to be followers, but also to be the teachers of the next generation; to tell the new generation that their leader is always right. You cannot question or doubt a leader. No, I don't think it's even possible.

By the time the teaching has finally filtered down through the generations of a cult, the last few generations have been lured to think like perfect little minions and pledge their lives to a leader they barely know. And the cycle continues.

This is the nature of cults; they slowly increase their membership with each new generation that is taught the same way of thinking from the teachers. And a leader will push their membership up further and further as they grow.

A cult is, therefore, one person who has the power and the means to make sure that everything they believe is disseminated on a wide scale so as to become larger and larger and become as “true” to a society.

Why Do People Join Cults?

From the outside looking in, there are four main reasons:

1) The hope of a better life

2) Power

3) Money

4) Closeness to a higher power

As humans, we need optimistic belief systems to help us get through the strains of our day-to-day lives and we are drawn to strong personalities that lead to a sense of togetherness, security, community, and safety.

People love to be part of something special and they will pledge their life to that special thing, be it a sports team, a religion, or a cult.

Correlation between Cults and Brands

There are many cults born from the corporate sector, i.e. a brand that is sexy and cool at first glance, but once you get into the details, it may be highly conducive to a certain type of group that the CEO secretly wants to grow.

The cult leader will have a vision and plots to implement that vision at all costs.

If you are a small independent company, you can choose to watch your competition and copy what they are doing in order to grow your own customer base. This is fine.

But if you are a large corporation, you may be in a position where you do not have that luxury.

As you grow, so too must your market. If you have a cult-like style of management that you have chosen to propagate, you will be stuck with this model of management forever and you will never be able to change.

Corporate cults are, therefore, highly dangerous. They lead to a defeatist attitude for employees.

Brands are more of an ideological system; a religion more than they are a product. If you think you cannot let go of any belief system that you've embraced, you are probably trapped in your institution.

Brands and Self-Concept

In 2004, the “real beauty” campaign was launched by beauty brand Dove with the purpose of redefining the beauty concept by taking into consideration that in real life there are natural variations in beauty. The brand image of Dove was given symbolic meaning by this campaign. Specifically, by consuming the Dove brand, women had the opportunity to communicate to their social environment that they shared Dove’s notion that our current society’s beauty values need to be reconsidered and reformulated. As this example shows, a brand is not only a schema or category that directs attention and information processing, but it responds to identity-based motives in that it communicates consumers’ characteristics, values, and attitudes to their social environment.

For example, a consumer can use a brand to express the opinion that the pursuit of a sustainable and healthy lifestyle is important. Consequently, when a consumer observes another person using a brand that is associated with identity-relevant attributes, such as a healthy lifestyle, he or she may make similar inferences about the characteristics, values, and attitudes of the brand user. Because brands provide consumers with a way to express their identity and socially categorize themselves, it is reasonable for consumers to prefer brands that are consistent with their self-concept.

The idea that individuals are motivated to perceive themselves as consistent in their values, attitudes, and behavior is a central idea of early theories in social psychology, such as consistency theory or dissonance theory. In connection with these and more recent approaches, several studies have demonstrated that individuals invest resources such as effort, time, and money to appear consistent and thereby verify their self-concept (self-verification).

To be able to classify and organize their experiences and to guide their behavior, an individual is enabled to this by a consistent and stable self-view. Also, consistent behavior that promotes a coherent environment for social interactions increases predictability by others. For instance, a consumer holding values of sustainability might actively avoid driving a car brand that is linked to power (and gas consumption) and might instead choose a brand that is known for its low gas consumption. By doing this, the consumer provides a small window into his or her personality that others can “peek into” to predict his or her future behavior, which in turn influences their responses to the consumer and makes the environment more predictable for the consumer as well.

To some degree, the self-concept that drives consumer behavior is flexible wherein it will depend on which aspects of the self are accessible in a given context. The accessibility of self-concept components is higher if the components have been repeatedly activated in the past and if they have been made salient more recently. Also, it is not necessarily the case that the self-concept has to be conscious of it to influence consumer behavior.

A self-concept can represent a consumer’s viewpoint (how a consumer sees him or herself) or the viewpoint of significant others (how the consumer thinks others see him or her). As a consequence of this dichotomy, consumers think of the discrepancies between their own self-views and the way others perceive them. In connection with the consistency theories mentioned above, consumers are usually motivated to reduce such discrepancies. Using brands that are in line with their self-view helps to resolve this conflict because such brands bring other individuals’ representations closer to an individual’s representation of his or herself by allowing consumers to publicly display who they are. A consumer who possesses the self-view that he or she is a creative person but thinks others do not share this self-view may, for example (consciously or unconsciously), use brands associated with creativity to signal his or her creativity to others.

The best-known example of a brand application to influence others’ views of one’s identity is the application of brands as status symbols. When you think about it, it seems irrational that individuals would buy expensive brands that fulfill the same functions as cheaper brands. However, this is usually due to subconscious thinking of the fact that since a consumer can afford to buy expensive brands, it symbolizes his or her possession of resources such as money or power. Furthermore, in evolutionary psychology, the use of status symbols is described as a costly form of signaling that men might apply to appear attractive to females.

Indeed, some studies have found that men are more interested in purchasing conspicuous luxury goods that signal wealth when mating goals are primed compared with when such goals are not primed. However, some research opposes this idea and has also shown that this is a short-term mating strategy that is also perceived as such by women. An interesting finding is that the social-signaling function of brands is not limited to luxury brands. For example, green products such as hybrid cars can similarly be regarded as status symbols, but only when it is transparent that these products are more expensive than comparable non-green products.

Most importantly, not only might symbolic brand benefits communicate a person’s actual self-view, but they also provide consumers with an opportunity to express their personality as they would ideally like it to be and to reduce a possible conflict between their actual and ideal self. This idea can be derived from the self-discrepancy theory. It says that consumers can use brands for symbolic self-completion and self-enhancement and that brands can become part of the self. An interesting thought, a reduction in self-discrepancies is related not only to a consumer’s ideal aspects of the self but also to the personality aspects that a consumer thinks he or she should possess.

For instance, a consumer might think that it is his or her duty to take care of the environment, but he or she might sometimes also feel that he or she does not fully live up to this responsibility (discrepancy with how he or she perceives herself). Consumers are prompted to use brands to reduce this discrepancy as well. For instance, they are inclined to purchase products from a supermarket associated with sustainability such as Whole Foods.

Similarly, the feeling of uncertainty about one’s self-concept can motivate brand use. The feeling of uncertainty about one’s self-concept is supposed to yield the motivation to reaffirm the self. In one study, participants were more likely to choose a product consistent with an activated self-view (competence or excitement) when participants felt uncertain about their self-view.

CHAPTER 11: PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE AND

STRATEGIC THINKING AT WORK

Not all manipulation is a bad thing. There are times when you might want someone to agree with you on something. You probably don’t want to take it to the extreme and make your victim do everything you want and take over their lives. But there are certain moments when you may need someone to agree with you on something, such as when a vote is going one way or another, if you need help with a project, or something similar.

This chapter looks at some of the different ways you can manipulate the people near you in order to get the things that you would like.

Similarities Are Key

The first thing you should concentrate on is finding similarities between yourself and the person you are manipulating. Nobody is going to want to be around you or do the things that you want them to if they have nothing in common with you. You need to find the places where you mesh together and can form a bond of some kind, if not a friendship.

There are a lot of different ways that you can work to find similarities between you and the person you want to get on your side. First, consider how you will be able to help them out with something they need.

Take the time and have a lunch break with this person, if you work with them.

Work is not the only place where you can start to make a bond with someone. You can bond after work without all of the stresses that come with work.

Of course, you need to ensure that you are doing something that the other person enjoys. You don’t want to seem like a bother or go around just inviting them to things that you like.

Once you are able to build this bond, it will be easier for the two of you to get along and you will be able to convince them to do the things that you want later on.

Give Them a Reason Why

No one will have any desire to help you out unless there is something in it for them. This means that you need to look through the situation and make it work out well for the both of you.

There are two ways this can go. In most cases, when you are being manipulated, both of you are going to get something out of the deal. One person might get the better thing, but you are still going to be rewarded for your hard work.

Then there is the more evil way of manipulating someone. A manipulator may promise something that is going to entice you to help them out. The issue with this, though, is that the manipulator doesn’t actually plan to give you anything in return.

But in most cases, when you want to manipulate someone, you will want to go with the first method so you can keep them as friends in the long run. This means that you need to make sure they have a good reason to help you out.

Language Patterns

The words you use in your speech and communication will determine whether someone is going to listen to you or do what you would like. A simple thing like switching around words to make them sound positive can make a huge difference in the way that people associate with you.

Take Small Steps

This means you need to take things slowly. You need to go from step one until the final step without skipping anything in between. But what are some of the steps you may have to take in order to get to your end goal? Here are some ideas to ensure that you are getting people on your side in the right way:

1) Get to know the person—the best cases of manipulation happen once you know at least a little bit about the person.

2) Determine if they will meet your goal—before you put in too much effort, make sure that they are willing to go along with your goal.

3) Start laying the groundwork—now that you have someone who is going to be on your side, it is time to start laying a bit of groundwork to help you out. Let them know a bit about the plan and see if they are interested in helping you out.

4) Show them what they can get out of this process. If they feel like they are going to do the work and you are the only one who is benefiting, they are going to run away and find something else to do. Start out with all of the benefits that they are going to receive, perhaps limiting the information about what you will receive, to ensure that you are getting them on your side.

5) Work towards the goal together—during this time, you both need to be doing the work. While an evil manipulator will require their victim to do all of the work on their own, this is not going to work in most situations, and you should spend time working together with the other person so that you reach the goal.

6) Reap the rewards together—if this goes as plan, you and your partner are going to see all of the rewards possible. This can make your bond closer and will make it easier to influence your partner later on.

When you take small steps together, it becomes much easier for you to get to your goal without having to pull your hair out.

Go for the Emotions

One thing that you should always try when you are trying to get someone to work with you is to go for the emotions. People are more likely to follow and do something when they feel emotional about it.

There are a lot of different emotions that you will be able to play with. It is important to realize that the emotions that people respond to the most are anger, joy, and sadness. In most cases, you might find that it is easiest to manipulate someone if you can get them angry about the same kind of topic as you.

If Your Friends Jumped Off the Bridge…

With this option, you are going to try to convince the person that your goals are in their best interests. This is the “everyone is doing it” method of thinking. You want to portray this as something that everyone is doing, or at least that if they do what you want, they are going to be envied by everyone else.

Be the One in Control

No matter which method you are using, you need to make sure that you are always in control. If you let someone else be in control, you are no longer the manipulator; you are pretty much giving this power to the other person. You want the other person to start relying on you, to start coming to you for their questions, or even just for company. This can help to make you into the most important person in their lives.

There are many techniques throughout this book that you can use to make sure you are the one in charge. Establishing this early on will make things so much easier in the long run.

CHAPTER 12: PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE AND STRATEGIC THINKING IN RELATIONSHIPS AND

THE POWER OF WORDS

Many master manipulators have psychopathic tendencies, but not all are true psychopaths or sociopaths. Some persons do not even understand that they are trying to exert their will onto another against that person’s wishes, though there are those who have the express intent of manipulating others. Psychopaths will actually go out and prey on individuals to manipulate. But again, not every manipulative person has a mental defect, nor does every manipulator acknowledge or understand what they are doing.

Being able to determine when someone is attempting to sway you is a fine art. By learning to master the arts of manipulation, influence, mind control, and NLP, you are also mastering the art of spotting these tactics sooner and saving yourself from undue influence.

The techniques in this book cover an array of relationships, from strangers and new acquaintances, to persons that you may already be close to. The most difficult aspect of these tactics to digest is when they are employed against another person in an intimate relationship. The psychological damage that these techniques may cause to a significant other or spouse who has been victimized or targeted by a manipulative person can last for years. Many persons manipulated in intimate relationships need to seek out professional psychological help to move past this kind of emotional and psychological abuse. And make no mistake, these techniques when employed against a loved one without a doubt can be identified as abuse.

So, how do you keep from becoming involved with a master manipulator before the relationship develops too far? Well, it depends if you are engaging in a relationship with someone who just has manipulative tendencies but means you no harm, or a master manipulator who explicitly wants to control or manipulate you.

Most intentional manipulators have a few characteristics or traits in common. Lack of empathy is normally an ear-mark for a manipulator. They are narcissistic or self-absorbed, and they truly are indifferent to others who suffer for any reason. Their indifference may extend to everyone, and that may make anyone feel special. But special or not, you will eventually be just another person they feel indifference towards. If you experience a little setback that upsets you, a loss, or an illness, take note of your new partner’s actions. Do they state that they care verbally, but refuse to engage with you in person or excuse themselves from you to avoid you during your time of duress? If you notice an indication that they might not care as much as they say they do, pay attention to other signs.

While we are on the subject of their words and actions, another easy way to separate the manipulators is not by what they say, but in what they do. Master manipulators are known for being charismatic and saying all the right words at precisely the right times but rarely do their words and actions match each other. Look for unfulfilled promises, saying one thing and then doing another, and opinions that flip-flop, depending on who else is around to hear what they are saying. Manipulators may seem to be all-encompassing to their partners, but in public, they may tend to stay in the background for the purpose of observing others or completely change their stances, opinions, or ideas to fit others, whom they are engaged with. Watch out for inconsistencies.

Manipulators who intend to cause harm will tell you they adore you, but find small ways to shoot digs at you that may hurt your feelings. If you are currently in a relationship with someone who states that they want to spend every minute of their free time with you, then calls you “needy” or “codependent” when you want to spend time with them, it means that individual is sending mixed signals that you may try to excuse away. There could be different reasons why neither of you can spend every day together, but there is never a good excuse to indicate that you are the one with issues, particularly when they are the ones who initiated the response from you.

Another consideration is the right and wrong in a disagreement, and what the manipulator will say and do during an argument. Manipulators will fight dirty, insult you, try and use information you have given them against you, and will never plead guilty. At times, master manipulators will deny words or actions that they have said or done, hoping that this confusion will make you question your view or beliefs on events that have occurred. They may continue to speak about things that you have expressly stated, but no longer want to discuss, creating unease in you regardless of your discomfort.

Master manipulators will disregard the emotions you express to them. They may refuse to validate the way you feel or express to you that the way you feel is not accurate or correct. Some manipulative people will start to completely refuse to acknowledge the feelings of their significant others as the relationship progresses.

Despite all of these negative aspects of the manipulator’s persona, many individuals will find that even though they know the relationship is unhealthy, they will continue to engage in that relationship or have an extremely hard time cutting loose from the manipulator. The soaring thoughts that excited you at the beginning of the relationship will make you all the more likely to fear losing those strong emotions, and therefore fear losing the manipulator themselves. You may find yourself increasingly unsatisfied in the relationship, and the loved one may notice a change in your mood too.

Despite your unhappiness, you may find yourself dreading life without them. Your own mood will directly correlate to the mood of the manipulator, and you may find yourself attempting to find favor with this person, even though you have done nothing untoward or wrong. Because of the conflicting and confusing aspects of the relationship, you may find yourself overanalyzing. You may notice an increased state or level of anxiety in yourself, as you are unsure of what is happening or where you stand with the manipulative partner. Apologizing or compromising who you are regularly, whether you understand why you feel the need, feel insecure about yourself in general, or are experiencing feelings of guilt or inadequacy are often strong indicators that you are in a manipulative environment.

The best way to protect yourself from engaging in a manipulative relationship is to be aware of your partner’s subtle manipulation tactics.

CHAPTER 13: PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE AND STRATEGIC THINKING FOR ENTREPRENEURS

AND BUSINESS

Principle 1: Embrace the War Game of Chess

The metaphor for war strategy is chess, not checkers.

Checkers is a simple game with few possibilities and ramifications for each move. There are few if any differences between the pieces. And victory is often easily judged in retrospect as having been brought about by a single logical error of the loser.

Chess, on the other hand, is far more complex. There is a much greater variance in the power of the pieces. Pieces can move differently and can work powerfully for or against you in combination. Your king-piece is incredibly vulnerable. When you lose at chess, it's not always as easy to pin it on a single erroneous move.

The war game, like chess, can be mentally and psychically draining, but you must learn to play it if you wish to protect or advance your self-interest.

I urge you to at least understand the principles of war strategy waged against you or you'll be completely exploited. Well, you'll probably be completely exploited anyway, but by understanding the patterns behind the strategies waged against you, you'll be better prepared to find true peace of mind and have a much better chance of self-protection.

Do not be afraid of the chess-like war game. It's a lot less intimidating than you may have been led to believe. You have all parts inside of you to be a master at this game.

Principle 2: Embrace Master Plans and Strategies

Many people today have attention deficit disorder (ADD). Having access to the Internet often means that you have ADD. If you own a smartphone, then you have ADD. In today's age, we are all bombarded with enormous distractions. Thus, no one thinks they have time to think several steps ahead and it's a rare opponent who can competently think consequentially. Use this to your advantage.

You may find it helpful to think through things in writing. It can be done  manually using a pen and paper or a word processing application on your computer, tablet, or smartphone. Keep your brainstorming and plans in hidden locations where your opponents cannot reach them. Thinking things through while writing will allow your plans to reach a much higher level than trying to think through everything in your head.

The strategy doesn't have to be complicated or intricate. It is simply a series of sub-goals and items which come together to achieve a larger goal. Embrace this strategic planning process and you will become brilliant at war.

It's important to stay flexible and constantly revisit your plans as the battlefield is constantly shifting, and you must stay adaptable to the moment at hand. Nonetheless, master planning will allow you to stay ahead of the game.

Principle 3: Engage in Small Scale Test Attacks to Assess the Opponent's Skill and Game Plan

If you sense someone might be an opponent, then it may be worth it to test them in order to get a sense of what they've got in them.

Let's say a new person enters your social circle. If you wanted to do a test attack, then you could pay them a backhanded compliment or mild insult to test how they respond. If they attack back ferociously, then your test attack was successful and you uncovered their true villainous nature before they could surprise you with it. If they respond with grace or apologetic insecurity, then they are likely not a threat to you.

I know the above scenario may sound petty and even vile. But it is done in a myriad of ways all the time. Watch for it. Oftentimes an opponent will test attack you first to see how easily you can be exploited.

When someone comes at you with a test attack, it is usually worthwhile to counterattack them in a similar way. Simply mirror them and this usually does the trick, unless they have a more complex master plan in store for you.

Principle 3: Feign Peace, but Anticipate Attack

Act like a peaceful person and you may be able to avoid large-scale attacks, for opponents won't view you as much of a threat and will only come at you with a small amount of their might. Thus, when you put on the pretense of peace, you'll typically be attacked in only small and predictable ways. In other words, the king is only mildly exploiting you, because he can.

You must, however, quietly prepare yourself for being attacked so that you are not caught off guard. There is a fine line here. You must remain psychologically strong, which means anticipating being attacked without becoming paranoid. If you do become paranoid, tthe opponent has won a major psychological battle against you. When you anticipate an attack from an opponent without giving in to paranoia, it tends not to catch you off guard, and therefore its psychological effect on you is next to nil.

When you are attacked after feigning peace, the best defense is usually, again, to mirror the opponent. This typically gets them to back down. You can also choose to gracefully ignore them if you don't feel the exploitation is very severe.

Feigning peace is ironically a master tactic when it comes to psychological warfare. Master the art of this tactic.

Principle 4: Boldly Attack First, but Pretend

You Are the Victim

This is a classic technique of psychological warfare and can go a long way toward psychologically wearing your opponent down.

Come up with a rationale that makes you look like the victim of your opponent, then boldly attack them. It's best to attack them privately or confidentially so that others will see you as the victim should the opponent try and attack you back.

Often your opponent will be furious and threaten you with many things. Here you can shout in your opponent’s ear that you are already a victim of their wrath and that everything they threaten you with will only make you appear more of a victim. This can have a powerful demoralizing psychological effect on the opponent.

Playing the victim card while fiercely attacking the opponent is high art in the world of psychological warfare.

Principle 5: Use Bald Morality to Shame

Your Opponent

Most people in life who attack you have little or no shame. However, shaming them to their face can sometimes have a strong effect. Try to guess their insecurities and shame them for succumbing to them. If you are bold, then threaten to go public with broader shaming of them, as you reveal their hypocrisy and exploitation to others.

Be careful if you live in a glass house here, for many opponents will shame you right back. It helps if you have done nothing close to what you're accusing your opponent of. This is tricky stuff here, so be careful.

Shaming is usually best applied as a threat of embarrassment for the opponent. For example, if a vendor threatens to not refund you or to not fulfill their pledge, threaten to go public to their other customers with this shame.

Principle 6: Stay Adaptable and Agile;

Maintain an Escape Route

Victory often goes to the nimble and deft, not the powerful and strong. Being adaptable to changes as they occur is paramount. And in a world that is constantly shifting and transforming, being adaptable and agile is now more important than ever.

This is another reason why creative brainstorming is so important. Your rational and analytical mind is your most powerful weapon, and when you are engaged in creative brainstorming, you are strengthening your plan and your arms. Use creative brainstorming to rationally and imaginatively conceive of as many tactics and contingencies as you can.

The strategic planning process is not as complicated as you've been led to believe, so please do not be intimidated. If you were smart enough to seek out and read a book like this, then you are smart enough to be strategic and agile.

When you launch your attacks, it's often useful to have an escape route, so that you can quickly backtrack and retreat if you are confronted with enormous resistance. In general, you always want to leave yourself some room to escape, if necessary.

Principle 7: Embrace Retreat

Retreat can be an effective tactic during an intense battle, as it can allow you an opportunity to reflect and regroup, and can sometimes have a psychological deflating effect on the opponent—at just the moment they think that victory is imminent, you retreat and take away that opportunity from them.

I can't tell you when the best time to retreat during battle is. It's something that comes with experience. Just remember it is a tactic available to you in the heat of battle. As such, it's best to give yourself an escape route so you can easily retreat if necessary.

This is why the best lies stay as close to the truth as possible. When your lie begins to get you in trouble, you can fall back on the parts that are true. In general, though, I don't recommend lying, but it is a tactic available to you when attempting to defeat an opponent.

Principle 8: Scare Your Opponent with the Unknown

Make vague references to your opponents about resources and allies you have at your disposal. Put up appearances as though you are powerful, strong, and a force to be reckoned with. Feign relationships with powerful figures so your opponent will think you have powerful allies.

Most of all, keep your opponent in the dark. Make attacks that would suggest you have more resources and allies than you do. What you want is to evoke fear in the opponent. You want their mind to wander. You want them to imagine and fear attacks upon them that you haven't even thought of.

CHAPTER 14: DEFENSE STRATEGIES IN PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE

Psychological warfare is out there and it is real. You may just find yourself a victim at some point in life. Or you have already been a victim without even realizing it. After reading this book, you may become aware of psychological warfare attempts that have been made on you. You are not defenseless. Awareness is the first step to victory.

Who are your potential abusers? They may be neighbors, exes, or even family. Anyone who has an agenda against you may be trying to run your life and influence your actions unfavorably. If you feel like a victim, then you probably are.

Prevent Psychological Warfare

Choose what you allow into your life. You do not need to give certain people or situations the time of day. You are very busy and your time is precious. You need to protect your energy, resources, and intellect by associating only with the positive. Being selective about the people that you associate with also helps you keep your reputation intact so that you can preserve it in the event that your enemy attacks it.

You should also be selective about the media and information that you take in. Psychological warfare is usually very covert. If you take in lots of information, you raise your risk of exposure. Only choose a few reliable sources of news, and avoid listening to people that do not seem trustworthy. Do not believe everything that you read; question everything and perform your own research on even your most reliable sources of information and news.

Choose your relationships wisely. You really cannot trust anyone. Avoid trusting people. You never know what information they may glean about you to use against you. As you have learned from employing psychological warfare, manipulative and emotionally abusive people are able to glean the tiniest clues about you from your conersations. They then use this information later to hurt you in some way.

Always be wary of people who try to bait you or distract you. Usually, their actions are not innocent. Why do they want your attention? By distracting you, they may be trying to give you a subliminal cue or they may be trying to control you through the power of suggestion. Either way, they are trying to dominate and monopolize your time. You can ignore or politely but firmly tell them no when they demand your attention.

When people try to exert power over you, they may begin by stating you have glaring flaws. They do this to lower your self-esteem and make you sensitive. You do not need to fall for this. Just change the conversation or suggest that they have the same flaw. If someone says you have a bad temper, for instance, you can grin and say, “I know! But at least I don’t hold everything in like you do. It is actually healthier to have a bad but controlled temper like mine. How is your project coming along, by the way?” This is called deflection and it works miracles.

Remove yourself from drama and conflict. Stonewalling people is better than arguing with them. When you argue with people, you fuel their anger and animosity. You add power to the fight. When you pull away and act like a stone wall, you become unreachable. You win through silence. You also avoid making the enemies that may eventually attempt to perform psychological warfare on you by using stonewalling.

Do not let the opinions or actions of others change you. It is a natural human instinct to mirror the behavior of others to earn social approval. But social approval is highly overrated. You will be more at peace if you keep to yourself and do your own thing. Act the way you want to act. Be who you want to be. By not buying into the need for social approval, you lower your risk of falling victim to mass fads. People can be controlled through things like social proof and fads. If you are not one of the herd, you can avoid falling into trends that are created for mass control by the government or some other untrustworthy agent. You can be more discerning and determine what is safe, rather than blindly following other people’s leads.

Avoid all contact with enemies. Again, this is important because your enemies may be trying to get pertinent information from you. It is also important because your enemies may be trying to poison you with their negative vibes. They may even be performing psychological warfare on you. Limit your exposure to avoid any harm. You don’t need to waste time with people who do not care about you.

Establish a good reputation. This will make it difficult for your enemies to discredit you. People are more likely to believe your claims and rally for you if you have a good reputation. You can create a good reputation by always being nice and kind to others. Always be honest so that you look like a good person with unfailing integrity. You want to be someone that other people like.

Protect Your Mind and Your Heart

Protect your mind and your heart; they are the main targets of psychological warfare, more so than your physical body. By overturning the fear and hurt that your psychological war-monger inflicts upon you, you essentially win the war. Fear and pain are the primary weapons of psychological warfare. They are aimed at the primary targets; your heart, and your mind. The only way you can defeat psychological warfare is by blocking the fear and pain. If you can reverse the fear and pain back on your attacker, you are even more of a victor in a psychological war.

Avoid falling victim to the power of suggestion. If someone suggests that you have a flaw or that you should do something, understand that they are using the power of suggestion to make you believe a self-limiting belief. Someone is trying to plant a bad thought about yourself in your head. By believing what they say, you become a victim. But you can fight their beliefs by believing in yourself. Undermine self-limiting beliefs that others try to plant into your mind by suggesting an alternative truth.

Also, continue to hold positive beliefs about yourself. Know that you are a good person and that you are loved. Believe that you are smart and capable. Think positive thoughts that build you up, rather than tear you down. When you do this, you give yourself the power and deny others the ability to take control of your low self-esteem. You protect your mind from bad suggestions and your heart from the pain that these suggestions can cause if you believe them.

Search for your enemy’s weaknesses. Psychological warfare is very successful and effective, but its use suggests that your enemy is too weak to actually attack you. He or she can only employ covert methods.

Likely, your attacker uses the power of intimidation. This power is great and it can make you cower in terror. But realize that intimidation is usually just a front that a scared bully erects for his or her own protection. Has your intimidator ever actually attacked you or anyone you know? Or is it all a façade? Test intimidation and see how easily your intimidator’s façade crumbles when you challenge it.

Try relaxing and reducing your stress level. Your attacker probably knows just how to get to you mentally and emotionally. Because your attacker has designed careful attacks on your heart and mind, you take these attacks very seriously. They hurt you and trouble you. But come to think of it, you may realize that these attacks are really nothing you need to worry about. Maybe these attacks are based on lies, or maybe they do not matter in the overall scheme of things. Take a day to yourself at some relaxing place, far away from the person who is using psychological warfare on you, and think about the attacks and whether or not you are blowing them up in your mind. When you begin to relax and let go of stress, you take back power from your attacker. Things stop bothering you so much and your heart will feel better.

Your heart and your mind are usually the victims of psychological warfare, not your body. If the psychological war-monger really wished you dead, he or she would have killed you already. Considering the fact that you are still alive today suggests that either your antagonist does not want to kill you, or else they cannot get away with killing you. Perhaps he or she does not have the means to get away with murder and is terrified of legal repercussions. You are at least temporarily safe from bodily harm. Do not let your attacker instill fear of death in you.

But time is of the essence. You cannot let your temporary safety give you a false sense of permanent security. Things can quickly change as your antagonist’s plan unfolds. You need to act to protect yourself immediately, in preparation for future physical harm. If someone hates you enough to perform psychological torture upon you, then that person is also capable of murdering you.

Even if you are never physically harmed, mental destruction can be just as disastrous for your life as physical destruction. You may develop a host of mental illnesses in response to the trauma wreaked upon you. You will never be the same. You will deal with self-delusions, hallucinations, depression, and other issues for the rest of your life. Your mind will no longer be your property, but rather the plaything of another person or persons whom you do not know. As you have seen in this book, psychological warfare can take hold of you and transform you into another person. It is insidious and it is effective.

They are taking your life slowly but surely. They may as well kill you since they are stealing your willpower, your freedom of will, and your will to live. You need to put an end to it before they truly disable you and ruin your life. Take back your power now before more of it is stolen from you.

Protecting Your Loved Ones

Protecting your loved ones starts by limiting the use of social media and other forms of media. The less that they are exposed to certain media, the less likely they are to be exposed to any propaganda that can affect them adversely.

You can also teach your kids to think for themselves and to respect themselves. Teach them what manipulation looks like and tell them that it is never OK. Teach them to research everything that they hear, even in school, and to always be suspicious of things.

Be frank and open about the reality of psychological warfare with your loved ones. Provide plenty of real-life examples. This way, your family can become aware of the danger. Awareness can enable them to take steps to fight the problem.

CHAPTER 15: TRAIN YOUR

MIND TO BE CALM IN EVERY

SITUATION

Self-Hypnosis

One of the keys to entering your own mind and making changes is self-hypnosis. Self-hypnosis lulls your mind into a state where you can access your subconscious effortlessly. Once in the hypnotic state, you can make suggestions that your subconscious mind will hear and process. Self-hypnosis works by reducing distracting conscious thoughts, leaving your mind bare and free to receive more sensitive messages directly in the subconscious. Hypnosis also lowers your natural inhibitions so that your mind is more receptive to messages and does not argue with itself or block thoughts or messages out.

Here are simple steps on how to perform self-hypnosis:

Lie in a comfortable position or sit down. Now, look at a specific spot somewhere on the ceiling. It is important to strain your eyes a little bit in order to induce concentration so pick a spot that is behind you and hold your eyes on it.

Change your breath to be slow, firm, and deep. Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth. Feel yourself fill your chest and concentrate on the sensation of your lungs expanding with air. Then, let all your breath out and feel it rushing through your windpipes, over your teeth, out through your lips.

Recite out loud or in your mind the word “sleep” as you inhale, and then recite “deep sleep” as you exhale. Keep doing this until sleep overtakes your body. Your entire body should feel leaden with sleep.

Now is a good time to tell yourself to shut your eyes. Your eyes should just close without any effort on your part.

At this point, you are in a hypnotic state. Welcome! Deepen this state by counting. Tell yourself, “I am going to count to three and as I do that, I shall slip deeper into this hypnotic state. By the time I reach three, I will be more relaxed.” You can come up with your own version of this mantra, but just be sure to say something like that to yourself. Repeat your mantra a few times, either out loud or in the privacy of your own mind.

Count to three, all the while repeating the command with each count: “One… I am feeling more relaxed. Two…. I’m feeling even more relaxed…Three… I am feeling completely relaxed and I am truly in a hypnotic state now.”

Counting past three can help you enter a deeper hypnotic state. If your mind still wanders and you can’t focus, you can try longer counts. The more you practice self-hypnosis, however, the easier a short count will work.

Once in the hypnotic state, start telling yourself things you want to manifest in waking life. Some examples:

- “On the count of ten, I will overcome this grudge.”

- “On the count of ten, I will no longer hurt.”

- “On the count of ten, I will start chewing gum when I crave nicotine so that I can stop smoking for good.”

- “On the count of ten, I will start to crave healthier foods to lose weight.”

The more you use hypnosis, the faster you can slide into it. Also, the more you practice it, the more you can get into your deep mind and make a change. Finally, realize that you don’t have to regard the examples above. You can use this technique to achieve weight loss, quit smoking, letting go of grudges, or ending other bad habits.

Remember to always replace bad behavior with a good one. So instead of saying “On the count of ten I will quit smoking,” suggest to your mind that on the count of ten you will start chewing gum instead of smoking cigarettes. Find an alternative to your old habits. If you are working on changing your personality, you might want to suggest that on the count of ten you will become more of whatever you want to become.

Avoid using negatives like “stop,” “don’t,” etc. Your mind does not respond to negatives so well and will leave off the “Don’t” to adopt the following behavior. So instead of saying negatives, state positives. Say “I will” and “I am going to start.” Use lots of strong action verbs.

Mind Hacking

Whether you drink a little too much to deal with stress or you tear yourself down with overly critical self-talk, your bad habits are preventing you from shining at your very best. To end bad habits, you can start to hack your own mind. It is surprisingly easy to do and it helps you break bad habits by changing the patterns your subconscious mind follows on autopilot, as I mentioned before. Mind hacking is an excellent form of subliminal psychology to use upon yourself.

Mind hacking works by using loops. The concept behind loops is that you reach into your thinking and adjust it. Each thought you think leads to more thoughts of the same vein. So, to change your thinking, you want to create loops of positive thoughts rather than negative ones. Instead of following the loops you create with each negative thought, be innovative and chase the negative thought with a positive one to redirect the consequential thought loop.

So how can you use this to adjust your personality and change bad habits? When you start to reach for a bad habit that you normally turn to in order to comfort yourself, such as a drink, think a positive loop about how you deserve better. Follow that with another positive thought that will encourage yourself to do something else that you will thank yourself for later. For example, instead of drinking to unwind after a stressful day of work, do some yoga to relax or take a hot bath. You will not hate yourself when you wake up thoroughly well-rested and without a hangover. Find what you want to feel and then find healthy ways to encourage that feeling without engaging in your bad habits. The more positive loops you make in your own mind, the more positive emotions you feel. And then the happier you are.

Subliminal Trick for Waking Up

Waking up earlier is one of the difficult and elusive secrets to success. When you wake up early, you have more time to get things done. You are more productive. Even if it seems like you will get the same number of hours in a day no matter when you wake up, waking early is good for the human mind and allows for better productivity.

But if you struggle to get out of bed, you can try the exhaustive old advice of going to bed early and just forcing yourself awake at an earlier hour. However, this seldom works well for people. That is when subliminal psychology for self-improvement plays a fun little role. One excellent trick for waking up at an earlier hour is to chant the time you want to wake up to yourself as you fall asleep. So, as you begin to drift off into sleep, which is basically the hypnotic state, you should tell yourself, “I want to wake up at seven.” Say this three times.

Anchoring

You can start to train yourself using anchoring. Through this process, you teach yourself to reach for positive behaviors when you receive a stimulus.

So, to create an anchor, first set a clear goal.

Next, pick a stimulus. Anything can work, but a stimulus that already has a profound meaning for you will work best.

Once you choose the stimulus, you need to start playing it or expose yourself to it, and then immediately pick up the task you want to learn to perform by the anchor. Keep doing this until you have hammered it in. Soon, you will notice that when you see or hear this stimulus, you want to do a particular thing. That’s when you know it has set. Keep using it and the anchor will only get stronger and more infallible. After some training, it will start to work on its own to motivate you.

Continue Education and Further Experiences

Make it a goal to keep learning and experiencing life. This simple desire can really transform your attitude about life and your zest for doing new things. You will want to get out of bed if you dedicate your days to learning and experiencing more.

I love the saying: Do something every day that scares you. I think this is the best advice you could possibly apply to your life. Try new things, approach new people, and take advantage of new opportunities. Even if you feel scared, do it anyway and surprise yourself as your life improves. Do not be complacent and let your life get stale and stagnant.

Adjust Your Self-Talk

All day long, a monologue runs in your mind. Take a moment to listen to how you speak to yourself. How does your internal monologue sound? Is it the way that you would talk to a friend? If not, you need to change your self-talk to be kinder and more encouraging. Your self-talk is a direct reflection of how you feel about yourself, so it is very important to your overall mental outlook on life. To change your overall outlook, you need to start speaking kindly to yourself. You can vanquish lack of motivation, discouragement, fear, and depression by talking to yourself in a kinder manner and giving yourself confidence boosts throughout the day.

It’s OK to Be Mean

Sometimes it is just necessary to be mean. No, I don’t mean become the new bully in the office or an abuser to your family. But start to be a bit harsh and firm when you stand up for yourself. Be selfish and demand what you deserve without an apology. Give yourself permission to be mean when you need to be. Being nice will only open you up to being taken advantage of.

You must work to always stick up for yourself. Even if it requires being mean to someone, you must put yourself first.

It is also acceptable to ignore the conventional rules of social politeness to defend yourself. Take care of yourself and conserve your precious time and money by not tolerating sitting there listening to someone’s rambling.

Similarly, stop letting people insult you. Maybe you have accepted it before to be polite. You know that you are supposed to laugh and take it as a joke even though it is not very funny to you. But why do this?

Say no when you want to. You may feel that it is polite to say yes, but doing so can really tax your resources and make you overextend yourself.

Fearlessly confront people when you feel you have been ripped off. Never tell people that you are sorry for what you say or feel guilty for sticking up for yourself.

Being mean can help you gain both dominance and confidence. It shows you that you are worth something, so your mind starts to believe it. Soon you will not even have to try. You just stand up for yourself because you know you don’t deserve any disrespect or poor treatment.

CHAPTER 16: PERSUASION

VS. MANIPULATION

Seeing how individuals structure assessments and contentions, and display and incorporate realities into their psychological models is key to your capacity to persuade anyone to become tied up with a thought and afterward follow up on that thought. That is the embodiment of influence.

The distinction between influence and manipulation lies in:

1) The expectation behind your craving to convince that individual,

2) The honesty and straightforwardness of the procedure, and

3) The net advantage or effect on that individual

Manipulation suggests that you are disguising a craving to move someone to see things from your perspective, such that it will profit you. What's more, if this advantage were uncovered, that disclosure would make the other individual far less open to your message since it would either:

Demonstrate a solid inclination towards their absence of advantage in the trade,

Demonstrate an ulterior thought process, or

Some mix of both.

So, for instance, suppose I was selling someone a vehicle. That individual strolled into my business with a group of six children, and it was evident that they were searching for and truly required a family-sized, reasonable vehicle.

In any case, I at that point utilized the entirety of my powerful capacities to persuade the parent that he shouldn't purchase a little van, but rather a two-seater convertible to relive his youth, knowing that I would make double the commission on that vehicle and it was totally unsatisfactory for the customer.

That Is Manipulation

Now imagine a scenario where that same parent came into my business with six children and said to me, "Man, I simply need to blow some money. I should purchase an eight-seater. I know it's silly, and I truly can't legitimize this. However, I'm only here for the two-seater convertible."

Also, imagine a scenario in which I then utilize my convincing capacities to gradually and deliberately drive this parent to comprehend the advantages of acquiring the more moderate and appropriate family vehicle.

That Is Influence, Not Manipulation

I utilized similar skills to persuade someone to accomplish something that I truly accepted was to their greatest advantage, rather than persuading them to accomplish something that was not to their greatest advantage.

It's the hidden expectations, the net advantages, and the veracity with which you breathe life into this toolkit that makes the distinction between influence and manipulation.

This has been a subject of discussion for truly a huge number of years. In Greece, during the fourth century BC, the father of influence, Aristotle, held a gathering of educators known as the Sophists. Aristotle conflicted with the Sophists over the way that they couldn't have cared less about truth yet would advance any thought for an expense. He stated that the Sophists were taking part in manipulation since they purposefully misdirected individuals and caused hurt.

Why Persuasion Is Good

To accurately perceive the distinction between influence and manipulation, it is fundamental to comprehend the morals that undergird influence. There are some scholars who have proclaimed that influence is morally impartial. In other words, that influence is neither acceptable nor terrible, however simply a fair-minded procedure. I don't acknowledge this position. I would argue that the Aristotelian perspective that influence isn't nonpartisan, however honorable, is right.

Influence is intrinsically acceptable in light of the fact that it is one of the essential methods through which truth gets known. Through the influential strategy, a thought is advanced with proof, and an individual is permitted to decide to either acknowledge or dismiss that powerful intrigue openly. Influence does, without a doubt, include moving individuals to a position they don't right now hold, however not by asking or persuading. Rather, it includes cautious planning, the best possible encircling of contentions, the introduction of distinctive supporting proof, and the push to locate the right passionate match with your crowd.

The conviction that influence is a fair and powerful method for landing at truth is seen in the way that it is the reason for present-day financial aspects, directing practices, and the lawful framework. What's more, influence is additionally the establishment of majority rule government. Majority rules systems utilize attentive moral influence at whatever point they choose pioneers, set up laws, or attempt to ensure their residents. Indeed, even the individuals who become alarmed with the thought of influence can't get away from it.

Influence is imbued inside human correspondence. When imparting their will, individuals both deliberately and unexpectedly advance certain convictions and practices. Thus, influence doesn't involve decisions; it is innate in social connection. Indeed, it is so inescapable in human correspondence that, on occasion, it turns out to be practically undetectable. The supposed individuals' callings – legislative issues, law, social work, advising, business the board, promoting, deals, advertising, and the service – should be called influence callings.

At its center, influence is the quest for truth. It is through influence that positive change happens. For instance, influential messages have been logically demonstrated to incite students to abstain from smoking, and from joining packs. Influence helps manufacture harmony between countries.

Influence persuades drivers to forgo driving when they've had a couple of drinks and are too drunk to drive. Influence is utilized to persuade a drunkard to look for proficient assistance. Influence is the manner by which the mentor of a dark horse group moves the players to give it their everything. Influence is an apparatus utilized by guardians to ask kids not to acknowledge rides from outsiders or to permit anybody to contact them in a way that feels awkward. So, influence is the foundation of various positive, pro-social attempts. Barely any of the decency that we find on the planet could be practiced without influence.

However, the integrity of influence and the way it is implanted inside human instinct isn't what causes concern. What causes nervousness is the debasement of influence. Undoubtedly, when influence is mutilated, it can get manipulative, which is perilous. Through manipulation, scallywags, religious pioneers, and tyrants have mishandled, oppressed, and even slaughtered millions. In any case, as unfavorable as manipulation may be, it ought to never be mistaken for influence.

Manipulation is the corruption of influence. It isn't worried about truth but instead based in double-dealing. Aristotle remarked on this in his acclaimed work, Rhetoric when he accentuated, "maltreatment of the explanatory workforce can work extraordinary evil, a similar charge can be brought against every beneficial thing spare righteousness itself, and particularly against the most helpful things, for example, quality, wellbeing, riches, and military aptitude. Properly utilized, they work the best gift; and wrongly utilized, they work the best damage.”

Therefore, the appropriate inquiry is how you might recognize influence and manipulation? Coming up next are the three clear, yet dependable ways that you can break down if a message is manipulative.

1. Intention

The aim is an essential factor in deciding whether a solicitation is manipulative. In the event that an individual endeavors to exhibit a thought or conduct that isn't to the greatest advantage of another, they are participating in manipulation. Unfortunately, this is very normal. Individuals habitually fall into the snare of manhandling others in the quest for what they want. One of the underlying drivers of this Machiavellian point of view is not seeing others with equity. The famous scholar Immanuel Kant expounded on this attitude when he recommended that the central statute of ethical quality is regarding an individual as a person and not as a thing.

2. Withholding Truth

Manipulation includes misshaping or retaining truth. Regularly, this is seen through overstating the upsides of conduct, a thought, or item. It was this type of manipulation that incited the expression Caveat Emptor, which is Latin for "Purchaser Beware". The expression was especially far-reaching during those chronicled periods when there was little responsibility for venders. The maxim was an admonition to potential purchasers to be suspicious of those selling merchandise, and to ensure that they confirmed, before buying, that the nature of the item was indistinguishable from the cases made by the dealer. Indeed, even today, a great many people have encountered being told about the highlights or advantages of an item, and afterward, in the wake of obtaining it understood that they had been misdirected. This isn't right, as something outside genuine portrayal is conspicuous manipulation.

3. Coercion

The pressure is the third and most clear segment of a manipulative intrigue. It is the expulsion of free decision, the final proposal – do it, or something bad might happen. Interestingly, influence includes impact, but never power. A characterizing facet of influence is free decision. At some level, the individual must be fit for tolerating or dismissing the position that has been encouraged by the person in question.

Interestingly, a manipulative intrigue is one that, whenever embraced, will adversely affect another. Manipulation is ethically off base and counterproductive to all included. The deliberate utilization of misdirecting impact strategies turns into a mentally and monetarily self-harming process. In this manner, through a precise and powerful comprehension of both the rightness of influence and the three essential components of manipulation, you will be ready to convince others morally and shield yourself from manipulative solicitations.

The Most Effective Method to Develop

Your Influencing Skills

We frequently need to convince and impact those over whom we have no genuine position. The question is how to do this in a viable and unpretentious manner.

Persuasion requires empathy

Give the other party the feeling that you have met them midway or further.

An inconspicuous, compassionate methodology is suggested as opposed to a more straightforward or powerful style.

CHAPTER 17: EARN RESPECT

While life would be fantastic if it worked this way, you can’t snap your fingers and just decide to be more charismatic and confident. You can from a mental and psychological standpoint, but acting more confidently takes time and practice, just like anything else in life.

What I would recommend for is to read through this part of the book and let the information settle, and then start practicing a bit at a time. Some aspects will resonate more with you than others. Some things you might do already, and some you may never have thought of, so take the bits you want and work with them. If you’re feeling adventurous, then sure, try a bit you may not have thought about trying.

My point is, try things out and find what works for you. This way, you’ll be discovering yourself and your style of charisma along the way. Let’s go!

Method 1 – Becoming More Charismatic

To be charismatic means to have a charm and attractiveness about you, both physically and intellectually, that makes other people want to be around you and want to know more about you. You may draw people in with how you talk and the way you are, you may have people hanging off your every word, or you may inspire something in people that makes them want to be better.

I’m sure you know some charismatic people in your life; the kinds of people who make you feel like you want to be them, but not in an egotistical way—more in a natural way that just gives you a certain sense of peace around them. Fortunately, anyone can be this kind of person. It’s something you learn and practice, although it does come more naturally to some people. Here’s how:

Awareness of Your Values

This means you need to understand your values and what your abilities are. What do you stand for, what do you believe in, and what potential do you have to do amazing things in your life?

Own Your Integrity

Integrity is the ability to stick to your values and do the things you say you’re going to do. This is essential when it comes to trusting others around and believing in yourself.

Think for Yourself

The most charismatic people think for themselves, regardless of what the status quo thinks, which makes them such inspiring people to be around.

Have a Flame Inside You

There is nothing more satisfying than having a flame or a spark inside you that makes you go out and get what you want in the world.

Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

Charismatic people are comfortable with getting uncomfortable.

Be in Control of Your Emotions

Being emotional is not a great place to be. Now, I don’t say this because emotions are bad. Emotions are useful because they’re a clear indication of who we are as individuals and what we care about. However, if you allow your emotions to consume you and take over, this is where things can get problematic.

Method 2 – Everything You Need to

Know about Confidence

The official definition of being confident is having the willingness to act accordingly when meeting life’s challenges and having the drive to succeed. This goes hand in hand with stepping outside of your comfort zone, settling into uncomfortable situations, and even going on a journey to becoming more charismatic while believing in yourself.

If you don’t have confidence, you’re not going to have what it takes to be the best version of yourself. You need that passion and inner motivation to step forward into your true self and be yourself. Your relationship with yourself requires this, and it ripples out to every other relationship you’ll have in your life.

Find Your Limiting Beliefs

There will be moments where you are naturally confident already, so a great place to start when trying to expand this confidence “zone” is to take some time to think about where you are not so confident.

Define Your Confidence Style

The best way to do this is to think about the times in your life when you felt the most confidence.

Minimize Comparison with Others

Comparing yourself to someone else is only going to make you feel bad about yourself and diminish your achievements. The only person you should be comparing yourself with is yourself.

Keep on Learning

When you take time to learn something new, whether it’s a fact about the world or a new skill, you’ll give yourself a little boost in confidence because you’re proving to yourself that you’re enough and you’re fully capable.

Be True to Yourself

Suppose you’re masking yourself and pretending to be someone you’re not for the supposed benefit of others. In that case, you’re not going to be confident in yourself because you’re spending all your energy focusing on hiding this person.

When you can freely be yourself and truly embrace who you are, there’s no reason to spend energy on hiding yourself.

Method 3 – Your Outside Reflects Your Inside

It’s all well and good being a good, genuine person, but if you don’t look after yourself, you’re going to be pushing people away. More realistically, if you’re not looking after yourself, you’re probably not going to be confident in yourself, which will lead to you being even more socially anxious than you already are, which will ultimately make relationships harder to form and maintain.

It pays to look after yourself and to treat your body with respect, both for the attraction of others and for boosting the confidence you have in yourself. If you look and feel the part of the person you want to be, everything else will fall into place naturally.

Find Your Style

Everybody has their own style, so it’s important for your confidence and self-esteem to find yours.

Develop a Daily Routine

Proper hygiene is vital if you want to be confident in yourself, and if you want others to be attracted to you.

This means  taking the time to look after yourself, thus helping you love yourself more and making yourself incredibly attractive to the people around you.

Exercise Regularly

Endless studies prove that exercise is important for maintaining a balanced state of mental health, reducing stress levels, and building up your confidence. You'll also improve your social relationships when you exercise with a partner or friend, join a team, and improve your abilities to successfully create powerful and beneficial habits.

Eat a Healthy Diet

Eating a healthy diet goes hand in hand with exercising properly and making sure you’re keeping yourself healthy in the best possible way, therefore allowing all the positive benefits to come into your life.

Method 4 – Trust is Everything

If you’ve ever been lied to or betrayed by someone, then you know how much it hurts to have trust in a relationship broken. Having trust is fundamental to any relationship. Even though you might see yourself as a trustworthy person, it’s vital that you think about how you can be more trustworthy and prove this to the people around you consistently and naturally.

Think about how often you tell little white lies. The lies that don’t mean anything, but you tell them anyway. In sales, I used to say all the time that work on a project was done, and I’ll send it over Monday because my internet was acting up. The work wasn’t done. I was just at home feeling sorry for myself and was making up excuses to give myself more time. Now, you might think these lies are harmless, but when people can see through them, they create an impression of you, and they damage your relationships.

From the other person’s perspective, they see that you’re going through a rough time but don’t want to approach you. Obviously, you’re lying because you don’t want to talk about it. However, that person will feel negatively towards you because you lied to them, and while it may seem little, they’re not going to trust you on much bigger, more important topics.

A 2016 global study on some of the top CEOs in the world found that 55% of CEOs in the world’s biggest companies said that a “lack of trust” was among the biggest threats to a company's stability and success. Just like in my example above, if you don’t trust the people you’re working with, this creates a huge shift in the team's dynamic because nobody knows who is telling the truth. Problems are guaranteed to arise at some point.

The same applies to your relationships. If you break trust in a relationship, both romantic relationships or friendships, the person involved may never fully trust you again, and there’s no stability. It doesn’t matter what you say to that other person; they can just say, “I don’t believe you,” and there’s nothing you can do to make things better.

As a general rule of thumb, always be honest with people from the moment you meet them. Never give them a reason to think you’re untrustworthy. If people can trust you with their lives, your relationships will be stronger than you can imagine. So, how do you do it?

How to Be More Trustworthy in Your Relationships

People all have different life experiences, and if you meet someone who’s been lied to by the people in their lives for as long as they can remember, they may not trust you, even if you’re a trustworthy person. You need to have the integrity to prove that you are, and you can do this by following the points below.

Start Off Slow and Build Up Trust

Start slowly when you’re getting to know someone and build up to the more intimate and vulnerable details of your thinking as you go. Remember, while you want the other person to trust you, you always want to be able to trust them, so find the right balance between giving and taking.

Putting in the Time

If you want someone’s trust, you need to put in the time and have experiences with this person. The more positive time you put into the relationship, the more you’ll be trusted.

Avoid Emotionally Harming Someone

When someone tells you something that they’re trusting you with, you must pay them respect and avoid damaging them and hurting them, even if you do it unintentionally. This is one of the most assured way to break your trust with someone.

Remember, your words have the ability to create magic, and it’s up to you what spells you cast.

Be Honest with Your Feelings

The best and most fulfilling relationships are formed between people who can be open and honest, even if it would be easier not to. This will create a huge amount of respect for you among the people in your relationships, and the trust will only help strengthen these connections.

CONCLUSION

The message of the book is awareness of the various languages of psychology warfare including what they are, and who is fighting with these languages. Basic psychology involves a person's inner systems that can be used for a better and more positive result. Psychological warfare on the other hand has been termed as mind and behavior manipulation.

The art of psychological warfare is present due to the inherent dark side of all people. The book mainly emphasizes the dark “I” and its impact on the psyche of the person.

The book is about the manipulation of minds and how people live through the minds and the transformations it brings.

The book's main focus lies on the common person who is unaware of the powers that they have inside them.

There are different main arts in psychological warfare.

Deception is one of them. We must understand the various facets of deception as the word itself has multiple shades. For instance, camouflage is a part of deception. In camouflage, we learn to hide our inner self and give out the appearance that we are different from what we actually are. Another form of deception is to appear friendly on the outside and promote some other hidden agenda on the inside. This is but one of the many forms of deception used in psychological warfare.

Influence is another word used in psychological warfare. The art of influence is used for various purposes, but it can also be used for inducing some positive change in the person's behavior. Another form of influence that is used for psychological warfare is influencing the person to believe they are in control of the situation while they actually are not.

Domination is another art used in psychological warfare. This art helps make the person feel disempowered. The art of domination is applied in psychological warfare through the use of high-ranking titles. The army generals are known by their ranks and so are the police officials. This, therefore, gives a sense of power to the people around them while they have lower ranks.

Blackmail is another art used in psychological warfare. It is one of the forms of fear used in psychological warfare.

Manipulation is another art used in psychological warfare. This is used to encourage a person to do stupid things that are in the interest of the manipulator.

Brainwashing is also another art used in psychological warfare. The art of mind control is used on those people who have witnessed trauma in their lives. The art utilizes that trauma for advantage. Due to the person's inner difficulties and fears, art like this is used to make them feel that they are controlled, and free from any responsibilities.

Psychological warfare is based on how to control the mental processes of individuals. This is done by the use of these arts. The goal is to direct the individual towards some purpose that is accomplished by using psychological warfare.

The techniques employed in psychological warfare can be applied at the workplace. This includes distract the employees by giving them some false promises. The employee ends up not focusing on the work because they have been distracted.

It can also be applied in relationships. The attachment created through psychological warfare is not a healthy form of attachment. In unhealthy relationships, the other person can be constantly trying to persuade the person to do some favors or sell their inner self.

Different principles of the art of psychological warfare can also be applied to entrepreneurs and businesspeople. The psychological warfare that aims at influencing the decisions of the people who invest in the business is an art that can be utilized to boost the economy by offering investors more value for their money.

The mission of the book is to raise awareness of the varieties of psychological warfare in order to protect people from these tactics.

The psychological warfare that we face every day is not at all as easy as it seems. These people try to manipulate our minds, and with that belief in mind, the author decided to write this book.

The dangers of psychological warfare are real, and the author wanted to raise the awareness of the readers to fight the art. It is about realizing your power, working with the art of positive psychology, and ensuring there is a balance between the inner and outer self.

We need to take note of the fact that we are on enemy grounds and we need to have defense strategies in place.

We need to raise awareness about the different psychic attacks that people are suffering. We need to create a balance between the outer and inner self and this is done by raising awareness of the art of psychological warfare.

Thank you for reaching the end and hopefully, I was able to impart a lot of knowledge to you.

Table of Contents

DARK PSYCHOLOGY AND MANIPULATION

Introduction

Chapter 1: What is Dark Psychology and How Does it Work?

Chapter 2: How to Use Dark Psychology in Your Daily Life

Chapter 3: Dangerous Dark Personalities

Chapter 4: The Dark Triad and Dark Tetrad

Chapter 5: Manipulation and Deception

Chapter 6: Manipulative Personalities

Chapter 7: Personality Traits of Victims

Chapter 8: Emotional Manipulation Tactics

Chapter 9: Mind Control/Brainwashing

Chapter 10: Neuro-Linguistic Programming

Chapter 11: How to Deal with Manipulative People

Chapter 12: How to Defend Yourself from Manipulation Techniques

Chapter 13: How to Avoid Being Manipulated

Chapter 14: Myths and Misconceptions About Dark Psychology

Chapter 15: Common Cons Worldwide and The Dark Psychology Behind Them

Chapter 16: The Internet and Dark Psychology

Conclusion

HOW TO READ PEOPLE LIKE A BOOK

Introduction

Part 1: Verbal And Paraverbal Communication

Chapter 1: Voice

Part 2: How To Understand the Body: Interpret the Most Common Signals

Chapter 2: What Is Non-Verbal Communication?

Chapter 3: How to Read Facial Expressions

Chapter 4: The Eyes

Chapter 5: The Mouth

Chapter 6: Interpreting Body Gestures

Chapter 7: Posture

Chapter 8: Breathing

Chapter 9: The Hands

Chapter 10: The Chest and Shoulders

Chapter 11: The Vital or Proxemic Space

Chapter 12: How to Understand Body Language: Interpret The Most Hidden Signals (Advanced Techniques)

Part 3: Techniques to Identify If a Person is Lying

Chapter 13: Beware of Bluffing

Chapter 14: How to Seduce and Attract Someone

Chapter 15: What Really Motivates Us?

Chapter 16: Personality Types

Chapter 17: Practical Application

Chapter 18: How to Fake Your Body Language

Conclusion

PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE

Introduction

Chapter 1: Why You Should Know the Art of Psychological Warfare

Chapter 2: What Is Psychological Warfare Theory?

Chapter 3: The Greatest Exponents of the Art of Psychological Warfare

Chapter 4: What Can We Learn From Sun Tzu and Machiavelli?

Chapter 5: Dangerous Dark Personalities

Chapter 6: The Psychology of Deception, Influence and Domination

Chapter 7: The Art of Blackmail, Manipulation and Brainwashing

Chapter 8: Manipulative Political Propaganda and Media Tactics

Chapter 9: What Is Psyop?

Chapter 10: Why Do People Join Cults? How Do Cults Work?

Chapter 11: Psychological Warfare and Strategic Thinking at Work

Chapter 12: Psychological Warfare and Strategic Thinking in Relationships and the Power of Words

Chapter 13: Psychological Warfare and Strategic Thinking For Entrepreneurs and Business

Chapter 14: Defense Strategies In Psychological Warfare

Chapter 15: Train Your Mind To Be Calm In Every Situation

Chapter 16: Persuasion vs Manipulation

Chapter 17: Earn Respect

Conclusion

Table of Contents

DARK PSYCHOLOGY AND MANIPULATION

Introduction

Chapter 1: What is Dark Psychology and How Does it Work?

Chapter 2: How to Use Dark Psychology in Your Daily Life

Chapter 3: Dangerous Dark Personalities

Chapter 4: The Dark Triad and Dark Tetrad

Chapter 5: Manipulation and Deception

Chapter 6: Manipulative Personalities

Chapter 7: Personality Traits of Victims

Chapter 8: Emotional Manipulation Tactics

Chapter 9: Mind Control/Brainwashing

Chapter 10: Neuro-Linguistic Programming

Chapter 11: How to Deal with Manipulative People

Chapter 12: How to Defend Yourself from Manipulation Techniques

Chapter 13: How to Avoid Being Manipulated

Chapter 14: Myths and Misconceptions About Dark Psychology

Chapter 15: Common Cons Worldwide and The Dark Psychology Behind Them

Chapter 16: The Internet and Dark Psychology

Conclusion

HOW TO READ PEOPLE LIKE A BOOK

Introduction

Part 1: Verbal And Paraverbal Communication

Chapter 1: Voice

Part 2: How To Understand the Body: Interpret the Most Common Signals

Chapter 2: What Is Non-Verbal Communication?

Chapter 3: How to Read Facial Expressions

Chapter 4: The Eyes

Chapter 5: The Mouth

Chapter 6: Interpreting Body Gestures

Chapter 7: Posture

Chapter 8: Breathing

Chapter 9: The Hands

Chapter 10: The Chest and Shoulders

Chapter 11: The Vital or Proxemic Space

Chapter 12: How to Understand Body Language: Interpret The Most Hidden Signals (Advanced Techniques)

Part 3: Techniques to Identify If a Person is Lying

Chapter 13: Beware of Bluffing

Chapter 14: How to Seduce and Attract Someone

Chapter 15: What Really Motivates Us?

Chapter 16: Personality Types

Chapter 17: Practical Application

Chapter 18: How to Fake Your Body Language

Conclusion

PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE

Introduction

Chapter 1: Why You Should Know the Art of Psychological Warfare

Chapter 2: What Is Psychological Warfare Theory?

Chapter 3: The Greatest Exponents of the Art of Psychological Warfare

Chapter 4: What Can We Learn From Sun Tzu and Machiavelli?

Chapter 5: Dangerous Dark Personalities

Chapter 6: The Psychology of Deception, Influence and Domination

Chapter 7: The Art of Blackmail, Manipulation and Brainwashing

Chapter 8: Manipulative Political Propaganda and Media Tactics

Chapter 9: What Is Psyop?

Chapter 10: Why Do People Join Cults? How Do Cults Work?

Chapter 11: Psychological Warfare and Strategic Thinking at Work

Chapter 12: Psychological Warfare and Strategic Thinking in Relationships and the Power of Words

Chapter 13: Psychological Warfare and Strategic Thinking For Entrepreneurs and Business

Chapter 14: Defense Strategies In Psychological Warfare

Chapter 15: Train Your Mind To Be Calm In Every Situation

Chapter 16: Persuasion vs Manipulation

Chapter 17: Earn Respect

Conclusion