Oh Lord, Help Me Keep My Panties On

Lynda Burton

Copyright © 2009 by Lynda Burton.

Library of Congress Control Number:

2008905854

ISBN:

Hardcover

978-1-4363-5432-5

Softcover

978-1-4363-5431-8

Ebook

978-1-4500-4591-9

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

This book was printed in the United States of America.

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Contents

Cover Page

Oh Lord, Help Me Keep My Panties On

Copyright Page

Dedication

PREFACE

This Book Is Dedicated To The

Memory of My Mom

Doris Broglin

1926 - 1992

PREFACE

All women, sooner or later, come to terms with “the other” person that lives in their body. That person is armed and dangerous and under the right circumstances can overrule head and heart. Until discipline is achieved, hopefully somewhere around thirty, women spend their time in a vortex somewhere between Oprah, Jerry Springer, church, and the Brady Bunny Ranch. With an assistant from the unruly tenant, the game can be called on account of pregnancy.

What’s a girl to do? She’s expected to make reasonable choices while preparing to be chosen. She feels like a flower opening and closing literally. The heart is opening sexual doors that promise relief from the constant secret heat, while the head is closing off memories of lessons learned in ladylike behavior. This confusion is set to the music of “What’s Love Got To Do With It?” It’s a hell of a dance.

The survivors will tell you to learn to balance all aspects of womanhood with the desire to have no regrets. The tenacious tenant tells you to “do whatever floats your boat.” Time will teach you that tomorrow will come and that shit floats too.

Jordan,

As I look back on all of my past relationships that I was involved in, I realized that you are the one person that I will always cherish in my heart forever. Never before in my adult life had I experienced love, peace, harmony, and passion with anyone until you walked into my life. Your gentleness filled my every void. The strength of your soul gave me the courage to open up mine, and from that point, I wanted nothing else but to be loved by you. And if I had to interpret or describe to anyone what we had, I would say, “Our love affair was perfect in every way”.

We were brought together that night to experience each other’s need for love, and to bond as one, and we did. I believe that you were the reason why I was put here on this earth, to know true love, in the purest form. When you went away on tour and I on vacation, I could feel you near me, and I still do. I fell in love with you from the very start of our relationship, and learned to appreciate the arts and a variety of things I was never exposed to before.

On February 20th, you felt it necessary to turn your back on us (our relationship) and walk away from what we shared. You left and went seeking to rekindle a past that had soured due to an unexpected and unplanned pregnancy. You went hoping to be the father you didn’t have and to be the man in someone’s life other than mine. Since then, we moved in different directions and no longer keep in touch.

I just want you to know that the memories and love we shared not only bring a smile to my face, but also makes me laugh and shed a tear when I think of you. That’s how I know what I felt for you was real and unique. I’ll call it UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. Jordan, thank you for loving me the way you did, and thank you for letting me love you.

I had just been dumped by a guy a few hours ago and needed to celebrate my freedom again. “Free at last!” I shouted. It was a strange relationship from the start with John. John and I grew up together and lived two doors away from each other, in total, sixty-five steps from door-to-door. He was three years older than me and a real buff. Yeah, I know, what the hell was I thinking! My family and friends thought I was crazy for dating a guy that lived next door. But it didn’t bother me at all, well, at least not in the beginning. I had nothing to hide, and it was real convenient. I came and went as I pleased and so did he. If I went out with my other friends, I extended him the courtesy of a phone call, and he did the same. After high school, he attended Brown University and recently moved back in with his parents. His plans were to find an engineering job in Manhattan and to live in the city. But as things go, he settled for a job in law enforcement. So he buckled down and started saving his money for his dream house. To make the down payment, he allotted himself three years to save $10,000.

He stuck to his budget for the most part and only splurged on special occasions. He did everything he could not to deviate from his goal. He was frugal in every sense of the word! I, on the other hand, had already purchased my first house and was working on the many renovations it needed. But suddenly I was forced to move back into the family house after the untimely death of my mom. I grew up in a spacious 4 bedroom ranch, with two fireplaces, on a quiet culdesac and that’s where I was moving back to with my dog, Hobbs. I don’t know how John and I started seeing each other, but I was glad as hell when it ended. Don’t get me wrong! John was a likeable guy. He was well educated, handsome, a good cook, and family-orientated. In fact, John was a handsome, 6'3" brown-skinned, thirty-six-year-old, 240 pounds of yummy delight. He had the kind of body a girl would turn around and lick her lips at, while she was with her man!

But the only thing was, he had issues! For instance, he would have temper tantrums. He couldn’t make a decision without sitting down and discussing it with his parents first. What a drag, whatever happened to living for the moment? He would sometimes call his parents from my house and ask them to wash and iron his clothes or to make his bed because he was going out with me and his friends. Weird shit like that! When he got the things he wanted, things were great. But when you didn’t agree with him, said “no,” had another idea, or came up with a different suggestion, he became angry. He would rage hotter than a smoking gun barrel, sometimes even throwing objects around. I remember one Friday, John and I played hooky from work and planned to spend the day together before going to a concert at Madison Square Garden. Well, it was about 10:00 AM when I received a frantic call from my office. One of my co-workers had gotten sick and was rushed to the hospital. My boss desperately needed this presentation finished and asked me if I could finish it from home and e-mail it to him. He assured me that it would only take a couple of hours, and he would compensate me by giving me another day off.

When I hung up the phone, I explained the situation to John. I apologized for not spending the whole day with him as promised, but I assured him that I would still be able to hang out before we went to the concert. His eyes became small as he glared at me. Then he started flailing his hands in the air, stomping, and cursing at me. “Why in the hell did you answer the phone? Why are they calling you? Isn’t there anyone else they could have called?” Then he grabbed his clothes, dressed, then and stormed out of the front door.

He jumped into his car, started it up then left a good fifteen feet of tire tracks down the block along with a trail of smoke. I was speechless. John knew that I was the senator’s personal secretary. What was I supposed to do, leave my boss hanging? I don’t think so; this was my bread and butter. I pulled out my laptop sat down with a cup of coffee and got to work. I finished up around 1:00 PM and still had plenty of time to hang out with for John since the concert wasn’t until 8:00 PM. So I called John and let him know I was finished and that we had the rest of the afternoon. He was so upset; he told me that he was already in the city and to take the train into Penn Station and he would meet me at the concert. I asked, “Why did you go to the city so early?” He replied, “Because I was upset because you had to work.” Duh?

Another problem I had with John was our sex life. Aside from being shortchanged, he was in the beginning stages of erectile dysfunction. He was so crazed about his up and then down condition, he would surf the web for all kinds of gimmicks to correct the problem. He purchased stay-hard creams and lotions, in addition to some kind of harness to stretch his penis. His medicine cabinet was full of all sorts of pills, health food products, and antidotes that promised youth and penis vitality. He became so obsessed that he would measure it on a daily basis. Then he would put this harness thing on his penis under his clothes for a couple of hours each day. That shit freaked me out! One day while hanging out with him in his room, I knocked over a stack of magazines and discovered that he had a couple of brochures advertising male enhancement products. As I started to pick them up, he snatched the magazines out of my hand and said that he’d pick up the mess. When I confronted him about the literature, he stated that he was looking to please me more, then denied that it was because he couldn’t keep a hard-on. He assured me that the reason for his nonperformance was partly because of the medications he was taking and nothing more. John was in an auto accident shortly after we started dating and was taking all kinds of medications for pain. He stated that the medications were hindering his mojo and not to worry and that he would be rock steady soon.

He slowly weaned himself off the drugs and said he was feeling like himself. He went back to work and cautiously returned back to his recreational activities of swimming, golfing, skiing, and running, but no fucking to avail! So you can believe for almost nine months, sex was not a part of our relationship. We would do the foreplay thing for hours, and on a few occasions when it got to the “okay, I’m hard now; hurry up!” the dick would never stay hard enough for the condom to go on! Damn. One night, John surprised me. We had just come from a party and were a little intoxicated. John decided to stay the night and followed me to my bedroom. I slipped off my clothes and walked into the bathroom. When I came out, John was standing in front of the mirror. “Come and get it, baby!” he demanded. I walked over to John and started stroking his balls.

John looked at me in the eyes and smiled as he rose to occasion and then reached for a condom. He slipped it on and then pushed me up against my dresser. He pushed his penis between my legs and pressed his body against mine and started pumping. He started to sweat and grunt as he grinded against me. “Oooooh baby, is it good? Is it good to you?” Then he started making strange all kinds of animalistic sounds, then came to an abrupt stop. “Ahhhhh, that was good,” he said. Then he staggered to the bed and fell asleep. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that he never made full penetration. His penis was rubbing the inside of my thighs and never entered my vagina. And to think I did this for almost a year. I started getting migraines after our foreplay session, and I knew why; I needed “Dick,” and the Dick was in la-la land. Rubbing the corn was becoming a thing of the past and substitution for dick was no longer an option.

Don’t get me wrong; I wasn’t out there fucking around. I was self-sufficient and took things into my own hands when necessary. But that too was getting old. Even when I tried to show him what excited me John refused to change his routine. He just refused to admit or acknowledge that what he was doing was simply not enough to satisfy my hunger. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings nor did I want to challenge his manhood, so I kept quiet, praying that this dilemma would come to a head, so to speak. I remember one day John and I were walking along Seventh Avenue in the West Village when out of the blue, he suggested that we stop in a sex store and purchase some goodies. He went straight for the cock rings and penal enlargers and suggested that I pick out a small inconspicuous panty vibrator. You know, one that would work with a nine-volt battery and could be worn and used when I had the urge. “What!” I exclaimed. John stated that he and his parents were going to Arizona for two weeks for a family reunion function, and he wanted to make sure that I was sexually satisfied while he was away. He hinted that with him gone for such a long time, he didn’t want me to stray. I damn near tripped over the curb with laughter. A battery-operated vibrator, for me. Oh hell no! I laughed again and assured him that a battery-operated panty vibrator was out of the question.

I thought to myself, that shit would not only make me crazy, it would probably make me mad, and frustrated as hell. Shit, he would probably have a heart attack if he only knew I was already working with 110 volts when he wasn’t at my house. Damn, I’ve already gone through two vibrators in six months! A battery-operated vibrator wouldn’t have a chance. Shit, I dropped the first one and broke it. The second one’s another story.

One weekend while John was off playing golf with his friends, I was on a mission with my vibrator. In fact, it turned into “mission impossible.” I had a melt down, or should I say, it had a melt down. Just right before my orgasm, it went haywire. So I got up, put my clothes on, and drove straight to the city with the mighty wand in hand. Since it was still covered under the store warranty, I rushed back to the store to exchange it for a more durable model. When I handed the vibrator remains to the store clerk, he gasped for air and clutched his chest. “Girl, are you okay?” he asked. Then the store clerk asked laughingly the what, when, and why questions.

I explained to the clerk that I was on my ninth orgasm, the vibrator was on overdrive, and I was going for the ultimate vibrator marathon. Then there was a zzzzzzing sound, but couldn’t identify where it was coming from. Then I smelled an unfamiliar pungent odor and looked over at the wall. Holy shit! I could see white smoke emanating out of the wall outlet. I jumped up and pulled what was left of the plug out of the outlet. Melted plastic, sex, and the smell of singed pubic hairs filled the room. “Ugh! Shit, I just set my shit on fire! Oh shit! The vibrator had seized up and the tip fused itself to my pubic hairs! Holy shit! I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom, grabbed the scissors, and performed emergency surgery on myself. When I got myself together, I dressed and packed the rest of the vibrator up and here I am,” I said to the store clerk. He laughed so hard, he started crying, grabbed his crotch, and ran around the store laughing hysterically. I guess he was about to piss in his pants because ran in the back and came back to the counter adjusting himself with tears in his eyes.

“Girl . . . after that story, not only am I gonna hook your ass up, Miss. Make-me-cum-till-I-kill-myself, I’m gonna bring your horny ass something from our new catalog.” He assured me that he had what I needed. I, on the other hand, didn’t want anymore mishaps nor did I want to be found electrocuted with a smile on my face by an out-of-control vaporized vibrator. We laughed another five to ten minutes. He held his stomach and staggered back to the inventory room laughing and farting with every step. After a few moments, he returned with three boxes for me to inspect. It seemed like it took us an hour to read the info on the boxes. Every few minutes he’d burst into laughter and have to run to the bathroom. Finally after running to the bathroom six times, we were able to read the specs on all the models that were on the counter.

But I still wasn’t able to make a decision. Then he flew in the back and returned with a silver and gold box. “Here, girlfriend, we got this in this morning.” He assured me that this vibrator was what I needed. The “titanium special” better known as the “T 1000” and it came with four attachments.

Then the clerk suggested that I go into the back room so I could have some privacy and to give it a try. He laughed and said to me a satisfied customer is his best customer and smiled. I replied, “No thanks, but if I have a problem with this one, I’ll bring this one back too.”

“I have no intentions of rushing my orgasm or muffling any moans and groans in your back room. Besides, could you imagine the looks on your customers face if they heard me!” So I gave the clerk a big hug and thanked him for his help and expertise. “I’ll try this one out in the comforts of my bed, and if I am not completely satisfied, I’ll be back.” He smiled and placed my new T 1000 in a bag along with an assortment of flavored condoms, two tubes of motion lotion, a cock ring, and sexy thong all compliments of the store. He waved good-bye as I ran out the door with my package tucked under my arm.

Now back to John, the other problem I noticed about John was, besides being a crazed Mama’s boy, he was a stalker. For instance, John would sometimes call me from his cell phone and would either be sitting in his car in front of my house or standing on my porch peeping through my windows! One hot summer night while Hobbs was sleeping in the backyard, I left my front door open. John sneaked into my house unannounced and hid in the dark. Then he called me from his cell phone while I was in the kitchen cooking.

As I turned around to answer the phone, I saw an eerie shadow standing in the corner of my dining room in the dark. I screamed, dropped the phone, and ran out the back door. John jumped out of the dark and ran behind me laughing. He told me that my front door was open so he wanted to see what I did when I was home alone. That’s when he got the bright idea to call me on the phone. That scared the shit out of me, and it also cured my bad habit of leaving the door open. John tried to play it off by saying that he had just walked in the house, but I knew differently; and from that moment on, I couldn’t shake the weird vibes I was getting from this brother.

Now this is the tie breaker, get this. John and I went food shopping late one Friday night in Pathmark. While in the store, he did one bizarre thing, he unzipped and pulled down his pants and mooned me as we walked down the aisle. He thought it was funny as hell and ran with the cart down the next aisle. When I ran into him two aisles over, he had his dick out and wiggling it at me.

Yes, you read it right. After that night, John’s dick-waving episodes became more frequent. On summer night, he appeared at my front door with his pants unzipped and his penis hanging out, and says that his dick was hot and needed air! Another night, he walked to my house butt-ass naked, and didn’t bring a stitch of clothes with him. I guess he thought it was amusing. I, on the other hand, was speechless, embarrassed, and disgusted. When I told my friends, they swore that I was lying!

I tell you, he turned out to be just plain crazy. So I was glad when he initiated the break up, but was pissed off for the bullshit reasons he gave. Nevertheless, by him initiating the break up saved me from annoying phone calls and those unexpected, unannounced knocks at my door.

So that night, he told me that it was over between us, and I closed my front door to him for the last time. I wanted to celebrate surviving the break up with my psycho boyfriend from next door. So I decided to celebrate. I jumped in the shower and headed to an underground house club in the city called the Shelter. There I could shake off the memories of John and get back to being my old self.

September 8th was the night; the man of my dreams danced his way into my life. I had arrived at the club somewhere around 2:00 AM and was blowing off steam when out of the blue this tall, dark, handsome man danced his way into my space. The magnetism was unbelievable, and inasmuch as I wanted to ignore his presence and walk away, I could not. His seductive movements put me in a trancelike state, and I began to sway my hips to mirror his movements.

As I placed my hands around his waist, he pulled me close to his body. He began to slowly move his hands up and down my spine, tickling my arms, and gently grabbing my legs. I closed my eyes and let go of my fears and enjoyed the dance of a stranger. The longer I danced with him, the more I needed him to put his arms around me, to hold me, to kiss me.

This man in a matter of a dance opened and unleashed something in my heart. Not believing what I was feeling, I tried to convince myself that I was just lonely and was imagining the feelings I was feeling. But I had to admit to myself, I did want to be with him. This man brought a strange sense of security and comfort to me. He stimulated feelings inside my body that I thought had died years ago, which would never return. It seemed like a lifetime had passed since I was in love or someone wanted me flaws and all.

He motioned to me that we should take a short break from the dance floor, and then gently grabbed me by the hand and we headed towards the bar. He grabbed two bottles of water, while I found us a huge oversized chair in the back of the VIP lounge. He sat down first, spreading his legs wide then motioned for me to sit between his legs. I sat down and pushed my buttock up against his body and slowly sipped my water while resting my back against his chest. The heat that radiated off his chest was intense! Without uttering a word he wrapped his legs around me and began to rub my shoulders and arms. His hands were large and strong. He worked my tight muscles with care and caressed me when he finished. I was sitting there in a meditative state accessing my past relationships.

Damn, I said to myself. Some of my relationships started out good, some started out great, but why didn’t they ever last? They never even got to the love thing. I remember guys would ask me the do-you–love-me question. I didn’t mean to sound heartless, callous, and cold, but I never hesitated with my reply, “No.” I didn’t want to hurt their feelings so I always threw in some lame comment like “I’m not there yet, but I like you a lot.” But that was as vocal I could be about my affection. It had been a long time since I said “I love you” to anyone and meant it.

I knew deep down in my heart, I was bitter from my past relationships, and I promised myself never to open my heart up to anyone again. I knew mentally I couldn’t endure the disappointment, the heartache, and feeling of being inadequate in love. There was no need to allow anyone into my space and heart, and I constantly reminded myself of that. I had already prepared myself to live a loveless life, and at that time I was okay with that. I had accepted the fact that men were tainted with the greed of flesh, fast women, and consumed with lies and false appearances. I refused to let myself get pissed off with their assorted lies, their thirst for infidelity, the head games, and their lack of being responsible for their actions. My mind-set was to not give a shit and to play the game the way they did.

Just then, I felt a kiss on my neck and snapped out of my meditative state. I turned around and looked at this handsome man that had engulfed me in his arms. He leaned over and whispered in my ear, “What’s your name?” “Haley,” I replied. “My name is Jordan,” and smiled showing those perfect pearly whites. Just then my heart fluttered, and I could feel my heart racing. He asked, “Are you presently dating someone?” A big smile came across my face and I said no, loud and clear. I told him that I had just broken up with a guy and that was the reason why I was out at the club alone.

Jordan stated that he had just ended his relationship with the mother of his son and had recently moved to New York from Detroit. I told him that I lived in Long Island and worked in two locations in Manhattan. One office was in the State Department building on 125 Street and the other office was located across from city hall on Broadway. I told Jordan that I was a personal secretary for a state senator. Jordan told me that he dances professionally. “Tap, modern, jazz, which is it?” I asked. He laughed and stated that he did all the above, so to speak. “I dance for a ballet company.” I smiled and thought to myself, Damn, a man in tights! Oh, my god, and smiled from ear to ear! We sat for a few moments in silence taking in what we said to each other. Jordan stretched his legs and motioned for me to stand. He pulled me close to him, and we walked back to the dance floor hand in hand.

For the rest of the night, we danced what I would call a mating dance. Our bodies gyrated and moved to the beat of the music. My strap slid off my shoulder exposing a lot of cleavage and a portion of my breast. The look on his face was full of anticipation and excitement as if he was about to see the show of his life. But thank god for firm tits, my top didn’t move any further. By the look on his face I knew that I had his attention and maybe even excited him. He couldn’t keep his eyes off my size 38Ds. I turned around in a grinding move and bent down in front of him. Jordan placed his hands on my hips and started to rub his manhood across my ass to the beat of the music. We were caught up in the moment and entwined in a cannibalistic, hot sweaty animalistic trance.

We stared into each other’s eyes, and he pulled me close to his hot glistening body. I don’t know whose heart was beating the hardest, his or mine. But I was scared to death! There was so much that radiated between us; I couldn’t deprive or deny its presence. Then all of a sudden, the room was still. Jordan had bent down to kiss me with his soft tender lips, and I held my breath. Only once in my life did a kiss hit me deep in my heart like a bolt of lighting, making my knees buckle and my head spin. I was having hot flashes, and my emotions took on a life of their own. With a single kiss, my world as I knew it had changed.

After what seemed to be an endless kiss, we came up for air and released our embrace. We looked around and realized that we were right in the middle of the dance floor, and they weren’t playing slow songs either! I looked at Jordan and realized, from the moment we started to dance with one another, there was a mysterious bond between us. We both smiled at each other and continued to dance our mating dance. The lights went black, and when they came back on, Jordan was removing his shirt. I nearly fainted when I saw his perfectly sculptured chest that was adorned with black curly hair. From the look on my face, you would have thought I hit the $100,000,000 lotto quick-pick jackpot!

Oh, shit! I have a thing for men with hairy chest! Damn, Jordan’s not only got a sculptured body, but he’s got a hairy chest too! I was to taken by his physique; I couldn’t coordinate my steps and tripped over my own foot. Let me tell you, I wanted to jump on top of him right then and there, no holds barred! I was thinking to myself, Jordan, I’m all yours. Anyway you want it. My body is under your command. All I could do was to shake my head and say to myself, Oh lord, help me keep my panties on! I hadn’t had sex in over three months and contemplated on the celibacy route. But I can see right now, that’s out of the question. From the looks of Jordan, I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to last another week without having sex. I was so worked up with the hornies I knew when I left the club I had to rush home and get out my trusty “T 1000.” Shit, I hope that bad boy is up to it, because this will definitely be a long masturbation session.

As we all know, time stands still for no one. The club lights began to flicker on and off signaling that the club was 9:00 AM, and they were about to close. Jordan and I walked to the coat room to retrieve our bags then he walked me to my car. Jordan asked me for my number, and I inquired if he had an e-mail address. I was so tempted to give him the wrong number until he pulled out his phone and programmed my number in his phone. He pulled out some paper from a book from his backpack and wrote down his e-mail address.

Jordan said that he lived uptown, Harlem to be exact and would catch the train from Canal Street. I couldn’t resist his charm and offered him a ride to the train station, and he graciously accepted my offer. We sat in my car on the corner of Greenwich Street and Canal and gazed at the morning traffic and talked. I could tell that he didn’t want to leave, and to tell you the truth, I didn’t want him to leave either. Finally, Jordan leaned over and began to kiss me, and my head started to spin. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but he was different. His mouth consumed mine, and I felt my heart skipped a beat, and in that moment, I knew I was falling in love with a total stranger. I couldn’t rationally explain why I felt this way about this tall, dark, handsome man, but I did. At that moment, I said a prayer and asked God if this stranger was for real. I prayed that if he was tired of all the bullshit, the game playing, and the lies people do in relationships, he could have my heart.

It had been a long time since a man made me burst with emotions all at once from every direction. One moment I was in control, and the next I was out of control. There was a hunger to make love, another to be held and kissed with passion, another to be touched, Jordan had taken me to a higher plain. I didn’t know if anything would come of it, but I was sure as hell going to find out. From the bowels of my soul, we had a mysterious connection and somehow from within, I knew Jordan would restore my faith. I felt like I had finally new the meaning of soul mate. That’s crazy! But, whatever it was, it had an uncanny power over me, that I dare not question. All I could do was thank God for my ninth wonder of my world, Jordan Williams.

Thirty minutes later, Jordan slowly exited my car and disappeared down the subway steps. I sat for a while in deep thought. When I looked up, I realized that it was 11:30 AM Sunday morning. I had to go home! Sunday morning traffic on the Long Island Expressway can be challenging, but I sailed through it. I jumped on the Cross Island Parkway with the greatest of ease and went into warp speed as I approached the Southern State Parkway like I was on the Autobahn in Germany. Hell, I was home in no time. The rest of the day I reminisced about my evening with Jordan. He was in my thoughts while I showered, cooked, ate dinner, and prepared my clothes for the upcoming week. Damn, I hate Monday mornings, I thought to myself. They always came earlier than I wanted them to.

It was 5:00 AM, and I was on my way to work, and I was still thinking about this man! I pulled into the underground parking lot and made my way up to the ninth floor. Much to my surprise, the senator decided to take the day off which meant I was going to have a quiet and uneventful day in the office. Around 10:00 AM, while my coworkers were busy on their coffee break in the conference room, I decided to check my e-mail. As I scroll through my mailbox, I noticed an unfamiliar sender. All of a sudden I connected the dots; it was a message from Jordan! He wrote something that brought a warm feeling to my heart and will stay in my mind forever. He wrote,

Thank you for an enjoyable evening. I haven’t been able to understand the attraction between us, and I know you felt it too. For some reason, GOD BROUGHT US TOGETHER, and you have a purpose in my life. Have a good day, and I’ll call you later.

Jordan

I sat there rereading and daydreaming about his e-mail for almost an hour. I fantasized about his kisses and how he held me that night. Damn, hope he was right about us being together! Much to my surprise, Jordan called me around noon and hinted if I could get to City Center Midtown by 3:00 PM, I could catch his dress rehearsal. He said that all I would have to do to get in was to give my name at the box office clerk and walk in. At 2:15 PM, my day was over, and I was outta there and running for the downtown train. I could run the risk of running into traffic or searching for a parking space so I left my car at the office and ran for the train. I arrived at City Center in record time and made my way to the front mezzanine. I was in luck, the lights were dimming, and the curtain was on its way up. Now mind you, I had only seen Jordan once, and fully clothed at that. I sat in my seat for almost twenty minutes searching the stage for him. There were about a half-dozen, half-naked men on stage, all with bodies to make a girl go crazy. I sat on the edge of my seat looking left then right, and then all of a sudden, I shrieked and gasped for air! I raised my hands up and thanked the stars above, I spotted Jordan! Thank goodness no one was sitting near me they would have thought I was having some kind of an attack crazy or a little crazy.

This brother’s got a beautiful body. Strong muscular arms and chest, thick-defined muscular thighs, a round basketball ass, and a bulge I can clearly see from my seat from the second floor! I became hot, sweaty, and horny in a matter of two seconds. I had a grin on my face from ear to ear all through the show and couldn’t keep a straight face. After the cast received the final applause and the curtain closed, I made my way to the ladies’ room to freshen up and get myself together. I had the shakes and was sweating from all the excitement. I rushed out the front door and waited near the front entrance of the theater with the only smile on my face and chewing my gum as fast as I could. I had to suppress my nervousness. I had to calm myself down before I scared him away. I waited about fifteen minutes before I noticed Jordan walking thru the lobby of the theatre, exited the theatre. For a moment, he was looking around to see if I had made the rehearsal.

Here I am, I waved and walked over to him. We walked to the bank and then off to a restaurant on Eighth Avenue. We only had a few hours to spend with each other before his 8:00 PM show and wanted to make the best of it. I was nervous, he was nervous, and our conversation was choppy and uneasy, but we got threw it. After dinner, he walked me to Fifty-seventh and Seventh Avenue so I could catch the train uptown. It was 6:00 PM, and he had to hurry and get ready for his 8:00 PM show. He gave me a light kiss on the cheek, then two on the lips and told me that he would call me when he got home from his show, then took off running for the theater. I ran down the steps and caught the train back to my office. As I entered the state office building, I greeted the security staff with a song and headed down the stairs to my car. I was driving at the tail end of the rush-hour traffic and arrived home about 7:30 PM. I showered, tended to Hobbs, and got my clothes ready for the next morning. Around midnight, my phone rang. Jordan apologized for calling me so late and explained that the show ran a little late. We talked for the next two hours and made plans to see each other on Wednesday after his rehearsal.

Wednesday took forever to come, but at 4:00 PM, he was walking out of City Center back stage door. Jordan was nicely dressed and so was I. We decided to leave my car and to walk to a theme restaurant on Seventh Avenue and have a quiet dinner. This time, we were full of conversation about our dreams and goals. Jordan wanted to be a world renowned dancer and choreographer and to have his own dance company, a building located uptown or downtown with individual studio space. Jordan was full of so much enthusiasm and passion; I could envision his dreams. We left the restaurant and walked to my car. I didn’t want to leave his company, and he seemingly didn’t want to leave mine. He suggested we drive to Central Park West, somewhere around the Museum of Natural History and 79 Street and get a night cap.

We had a couple of drinks and decided later to take a walk in the park. We found a bench to lean on and began to kiss. I placed my hands inside his coat and held him tight. The heat that radiated off his body was intense. I could feel his manhood awaken and move slowly in his pants. To my surprise, he had more will power than his manhood and mentally put it in check. Jordan remained a gentleman, and he kept his hands around my waist. We did this about twenty minutes until I couldn’t take it anymore!

“Jordan,” I said softly whispered in his ear, “I have to make love to you tonight.” He let go of his embrace and looked me in the eyes. “What did you say?” he asked? I took a long breath and repeated, “I have to make love to you tonight.” He shyly smiled then asked, “Where are we going to do this? I don’t want to bring you to my house tonight. I would like to properly introduce you to my three roommates and not have the guys think you’re a jump off.” On the other hand, I didn’t want to drive him all the way to Long Island and then have to bring him back to Harlem after being sexed out. As Jordan and I walked to the car he suggested that we should be able to find a place uptown.

We drove around awhile before we found a hotel on St. Nicholas Avenue. It reminded me of a cold-water flat apartment. The room was inexpensive, small, and definitely no frills. So no-frills that the bathroom was in the hallway! He went to the bathroom first to wash up. Then I sneaked out of our room and ran to the bathroom. Once inside the bathroom, I paced around in a circle talking to myself, What in the hell was I doing here! After a few minutes, I regained my composure and remembered that it was my suggestion and washed up. When I walked back into the bed room, Jordan was sitting on the side of the bed in his briefs. He could sense that I was nervous and suggested that if I was that uncomfortable, we could leave. But the hornies had me, and I needed the dick now! “No, it was my suggestion, and I want to be here with you,” I said softly.

Jordan slowly stood up, than walked over to me, and began to kiss me on the lips. His lips slowly moved to my neck then my shoulders. He picked me up with the greatest of ease and gently placed me on the bed. With his body on top of mine, I could feel his manhood growing on my thigh. We explored each others mouths with licks and long kisses. Then Jordan started to suck and nibbled on my neck and then the rest of my body. We must have spent a good hour performing foreplay on each other.

This man found sensitive spots on my body I never knew existed and worked me like a pro. I was lost in the moment and on my way to heaven! When he decided it was time to enter me, he slipped on a condom and began his journey. My nipples were at attention; my loins quivered and throbbed with anticipation. Jordan slowly entered me with slow strong thrust until I was able to accommodate all of his manhood. We started out in the missionary position then I put my legs up and over his shoulders to get maximum depth. We maneuvered our bodies into so many positions; I lost count. It was nearly two hours before he released his passion. Exhausted from our lovemaking, we lay in each other’s arms. Jordan was incredible! He was just the man I needed to make love to and maybe “that’s why God brought us together!” Twenty minutes later, we were off to round two. We made love just like we did the first time, but with a little more passion. After we finished making love this time, we looked at the clock and realized it was five-thirty in the morning. I reached over and pulled my phone out of my pocketbook, I had to call work.

My coworker Alex was usually the first in, and thank goodness he was. “Hey, Alex, are you the only one in?” I asked. “Yeah, what’s up?” “Well, something unexpected came up,” I said with a giggle, “and I need an emergency day off.” “Sure,” he said, “I’ll place your name in the day off column on the office calendar,” and hung up. I turned to Jordan and said, “I’ll be right back,” as I slipped on my shirt and jeans ran out the door to the bathroom. When I opened the bathroom door, he was standing in font of me with a smile on his face. “I got to go too,” he said as he laughed and scooted past me.

Then we were ready for round three; we were going to get our monies’ worth out of that hotel room! Then we were onto number four! I had to laugh to myself because I wondered how many condoms Jordan actually had in his backpack. It was like he had a never ending supply of them! Well, I can honestly say Jordan certainly gave me exactly what I had been lacking . . . dick! He cured me of the hornies, and I was sore as hell. In fact, I couldn’t even close my legs because I was so swollen. We lay exhausted on the bed and drifted off to sleep. Around 1:30 PM, the telephone rang signaling our stay was up, and we had to leave. We staggered to our feet and took turns going to the bathroom for the last time. We dressed in silence and checked the room to make sure that we had all of our belongings. Once outside the hotel, we were blinded by the afternoon sun. “Damn, we were in there almost eight hours!” I said. Jordan held me close and helped me walk to the car. He turned towards me, kissed me on my forehead, and asked if I was okay since I was having a hard time walking. I laughed and replied, “I’ll be okay just as soon as I am able to soak in the tub.” He opened my car door then said, “I had a wonderful night, and I will call you later after work to check up on you.” I smiled, started up my car, and looked around to see if the coast was clear then made a U-turn on St. Nicholas. I tell you, I sang all the way home. I was sore, energized, goofy, and excited about our rendezvous. As soon as I hit the door, I let Hobbs out and ran upstairs to start my therapeutic bath.

Jordan called me around midnight and talked until I had to get up for work. He invited me to the last show of the season which happen to be that coming Sunday. I asked Jordan if he had any pending engagements for the weekend and he said no. So I invited Jordan to my house for dinner after the show and to spend the night. He eagerly accepted.

I got up early Sunday morning and decided to make Jordan a special dinner, so I pulled out my apron and cooked my ass off. I finished around eleven o’clock and hurried to get myself ready and drove into the city. The show was spectacular, and I know Jordan was at his best. He knew that I was in the audience and danced his ass off just for me! I watched him bend, stretch, flex, and contort his body in ways that made me wet all over again. I was so excited! After the show, I rushed around the corner to the stage door to meet him, and we were off to Long Island.

When he walked into my house, I directed him to go upstairs to freshen up and to put his things in my bedroom while I ushered Hobbs out the back door. When he returned after taking a shower, I introduced him to my dog Hobbs. I suggested that he sit in the living room and turned on the TV while I put dinner on the table. Everything is ready! I walked into the living room and led Jordan by the hand into the dining room. He stopped dead in his tracks; his eyes scanned the room with the lit candles on the table. I turned up the lights so he could see the feast that sat before him. There was fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, potato salad, baked Cajun turkey, spinach with Feta cheese, and his favorite, banana pudding! Jordan looked at me with amazement. “Haley, you did all of this for me?” he asked. “Yes, I did,” and directed him to take a seat at the head of my table.

After dinner, I showed Jordan the rest of the house and ended up in the basement sitting on my futon sipping on a couple of cosmopolitans. Jordan suggested that we dance and put on a CD. As we danced, he sang softly in my ear while playfully running his hands over my breast. We began to kiss passionately until the CD was over. Jordan suggested that I go upstairs take a shower and to come back down so he could give me a massage. He pulled out a couple of CDs from his bag and placed them in the player. I quickly ran upstairs, showered, and put on my favorite perfume. I grabbed a short sexy cover-up and started down the stairs. As I walked into the kitchen, I noticed that Jordan had come up the stairs and turned out the kitchen lights. I started downstairs and noticed a flicker of lights emanating from basement. I made my way slowly down the stairs to find my entire basement adorned with candles, and on the table next to the futon bed, there were bottles of massage lotion. Apparently Jordan had found my stash of candles and strategically placed them around the room. I looked over at Jordan and almost cried. He walked over to me and took me by the hand then handed me a chilled glass of champagne. There was the most romantic CD playing in the background which set the mood for another night of outrageous lovemaking. That night, “Romantic Adagios” by Samuel Barber became my psychological connection to Jordan. He removed my robe, and placed me on the futon. He picked up a bottle of the massage oil and poured it in his hands. Jordan said that he was my personal masseuse and would give me the best tension relieving massage ever. He started on my neck, then focused directly on the muscles in my shoulders, then moved to my back, kneading each muscle with the utmost care till he reached the soles of my feet. Damn, I was whipped, and we hadn’t had sex yet! Jordan had me screaming and squirming when he alternated the massage oil with an ice cube. I couldn’t take it anymore and had to get him to stop before I lost my mind. So I turned over, unbuttoned his shirt and kissed him tenderly. I closed my eyes like I was committing his muscular stature to memory. I nibbled at the nape of his neck, and then kissed and licked my way down his shoulders till I reached the middle of his back.

Turning him around, I placed my lips on his manhood, and he moaned and sighed with passion. Jordan was of enormous size as I held his manhood with both hands. He cupped his hands around my face and slowly pulled me up to kiss his lips. I sat him down on the bed, and I straddled my legs across his. He flipped me over onto my back and entered me with a hard thrust. He grabbed my legs and placed them over his shoulder, then pulled out halfway then slowly worked his way back in with short strokes. Over and over we made love, just like the first time. That night, Jordan told me that he was in love with me, and I told him I was in love with him back. When we woke up in the morning, we were still exhausted from the night before. I had enough energy to make us breakfast and go back to bed. But this time was for sleep. We slept for almost five hours in each other’s arms. I was glad we remembered to turn off the ringers on our phones; we didn’t need or want anyone disturbing us. We wanted to give each other undivided attention and solitude. We needed to sleep and recharge our bodies without interruption.

Jordan decided to stay for the whole week, and I was glad he did. I would leave for work around 5:00 AM and would be home by 4:00 PM. Jordan felt right at home and comfortable being there with Hobbs. Three of the five days he spent there, he had dinner cooked when I got home from work. He was amazing! By the end of the week, we both had to take care of our much neglected chores and business, so for the first time in almost a week, we had to separate for two days. It seemed as it was the longest two days of my life too! I paid my bills, washed clothes, took Hobbs to the veterinarian for his shots, and went grocery shopping. Jordan went back to his apartment and painted his bedroom, put down new carpet, and prepared his room for me. He wanted me to come to Harlem, to meet his three roommates, and to stay with him for a few days.

The following weekend, I received my invitation to Jordan’s apartment in Harlem; I was so excited! I called Dawn, my girlfriend, who lives around the corner and asked her to check on Hobbs while I was away. I packed my belongings and was on my way within the hour. Harlem, here I come! The doorman called up to apartment, smiled, and directed me to the elevator. As I stepped off the elevator, Jordan was standing in front of his apartment with his hands folded across his chest. Then he held his arms out and gave me a big hug and kiss. Damn, I don’t know what kind of cologne he was wearing, but damn, he sure smelled damn great! As I entered the apartment, his roommate was coming out of the kitchen. “Haley, this is my roommate, Xavier.” Xavier was a fine (aka fine-fine-fine) brother! He was a little shorter than Jordan with a smooth almond complexion, hazel eyes, and a similar physique as Jordan’s. He took my bag into Jordan’s room while Jordan poured me a glass of wine. “Come on in, I’ve heard so much about you,” Xavier said.

Jordan took me by the hand and gave me a tour of the apartment. It was the biggest apartment I’ve seen in Harlem in a long time. It had four large bedrooms with oversized closets, a large kitchen, a super sized living room, a moderate sized dining room, and three bathrooms. We returned to the kitchen and talked with Xavier while he cooked.

After an hour, Jordan and I went into his room and started fondling each other. “If we keep this up, we won’t get to the club tonight,” he teased. He grabbed a towel and marched into the bathroom. Xavier knocked on the bedroom door and entered with two glasses of wine. Xavier and I hit it off right from the start. He told me that their other roommates Michael and Tyrese were out, and I would meet them later. He also gave me the 4-1-1 on them. Michael was an entertainment lawyer, and Tyrese was an aspiring tenor. Damn, there’s talent up in here, I thought to myself. I knew if I was going to spend anytime in the apartment, it was important to get along with his roommates. Well, it seemed as if I was doing great with Xavier, and from what Jordan told me, Xavier didn’t like his female friends. But he seemingly liked me and that was a big thing!

Xavier and I talked the whole time Jordan was in the shower. He told me that he was also a dancer like Jordan. He also told me funny stories about him and Jordan during their college days. He talked about the dance companies, the dancers, and the difference choreographers he liked working for and the ones he didn’t. Right in the middle of one of his stories, Jordan walked in to the room, clothed with only a towel on. Xavier got up, gave me a wink, and excused himself as he closed the door.

Jordan took off the towel exposing his exquisitely sculptured naked body. His body glistened as the water rolled down his chest and legs. Oh my! I almost choked and walked to window for air. I thought to myself that this man was going to be the death of me! He slowly dressed, and the two of us headed downtown to Club Shelter. The club was packed, and the music was pumping. We checked our bags in the coatroom then made our way through the crowded dance floor and danced the night away. We danced like we did the first night we met. Our mating dance had now elevated to the love dance. I playfully danced circles around Jordan grabbing at his butt and rubbing my chest on his back. He teased me by grabbing me from behind and rubbing his semi hard cock across my ass. Damn, that’s exhilarating! We danced for what seemed to be hours, nonstop. Near exhaustion, we found a seat near the VIP section and drifted off to sleep in each others arms while the club continued on. We were in our own world and no one or nothing else mattered but us. Around 9:00 AM, we woke up and decided to go home, and he would make breakfast. As Jordan was putting the key in the door, Michael, Jordan’s other roommate, was reaching for the knob. “Hey, man, what’s up?” “Nothing, man,” he replied. “Hey, Michael, this is Haley. Expect to see a lot of her around here,” Jordan bragged. Michael replied that he has already been given the 4-1-1 on me and that I was welcome in the apartment anytime. He said he was on his way to the airport and would see everyone when he returned from Detroit. Michael and Jordan shook hands, and Michael reached over and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “Look, Haley,” he said, “I don’t know what you’ve done to my boy, but keep on doing whatever it is. It’s like he’s a new man!” “Has she meet Tyrese yet?” Michael asked. “No, she will when he comes back from his tour,” Jordan replied. Michael reached for his jacket and made his exit. Jordan turned around and looked at me with a whimsical smile. “Tyrese is a real character, we grew up together, and in fact we all did. But I’ll tell you about them later.”

This is exactly what I hoped for, a beautiful relationship. Everything, and I mean everything, was going great. We liked the same things, from food to music, to music to books, to religion, everything was in sync, and we complemented each other in every way. We could sense from each other’s eye jesters or body language if the other was uncomfortable and made the adjustment without uttering a word. From that night on, we were together. I was either at his apartment or he was at the house with me and Hobbs. He brought clothes from his apartment, and I brought my clothes to his apartment. We made space in each other’s closet and started living together in two different residences.

I couldn’t believe that seven months had gone by already, and things were great between us. But unfortunately all good things must end. We had to separate. Prior to meeting Jordan, I had planned a ten-day vacation to participate in the Athens marathon in Athens, Greece. I had mixed feelings about the trip. One reason was because I knew my ex-boyfriend John had also planned on going to the marathon. I hadn’t spoken to John since we broke up and was unsure how he would act. The second reason why I was uncomfortable was Jordan would be leaving for his tour two days after I return to the States with his dance company. He had scheduled performances in Hong Kong, Phuket, and Bangkok and would be away a total of six weeks. And my last concern was that Jordan would return to New York two days before Christmas then fly to Arizona and visit with his parents. Then on Christmas day, he would fly to Ohio to visit with his son for a couple of days. So I had one day to see him when he got home, and then he’d be off again. I knew that it would be a difficult adjustment, but that’s what I was faced with.

Anyway, November 2 came faster than I had expected. I had to be at the airport that evening so Jordan and I decided to spend the day making love. At 5:00 PM the alarm clock went off signaling for us to get up. I struggled to my feet and started getting my things together while Jordan fixed dinner. We left the house somewhere around six-thirty heading for the airport. Jordan held my hand tight as he pulled up to the departure terminal. He grabbed my bags out of the trunk; we kissed our good-byes. I slowly made my way through the terminal, checked my bags, and made my way through the security checkpoint. Once seated at my gate, I looked cautiously around to see if John was nearby and was relieved when I didn’t see him. At eight-thirty, the stewardess made and an announcement that we could board the plane. I held my breath and prayed as I walked down the ramp and made my way to my seat. It was ten minutes to take off and my psycho ex-boyfriend was nowhere in sight. I held my breath and prayed that he changed his mind and cancelled. All of a sudden I looked up, and there he was, standing there right before my eyes.

“Excuse me, Haley,” John said. “My ticket shows that I have the window seat. I don’t think that’s a good idea if I sit there because of my long legs. You, on the other hand, have an aisle seat, so would you mind changing seats with me? I need the legroom to stretch my legs.” I looked at John, smiled, picked up my things, and moved over. Once in the air, I ordered Gray Goose and orange juice from the flight attendant and settled down in my chair for that nine-hour flight.

Once we arrived in Greece, the charter director for the marathon took a head count as we gathered our bags. We were a group of twenty-eight men and women who entered to participate in the marathon. We boarded a tour bus and made our way to the Delice Hotel which is located in the center of Athens. Everyone swarmed the side of the tour bus waiting for the driver to pull out their luggage. My bags were close to the front of the bus and one of the first off the bus. I made my way into the lobby and patiently waited my turn while the clerks feverously checked us in one by one.

When it was my turn, I stepped to the counter and told the clerk my name. “Good morning! My name is Ian. Welcome to the Delice Hotel, your passport please.” I passed the clerk my documents and continued my conversation with the ladies next to me. As he began to enter the information in the computer, the clerk looked up. He beckoned for the manager to review his entry. “Oh! Ms. Haley, an exquisite package was delivered here for you.” As he picked up the telephone said something in Greek. I looked up from signing the registry and turned to the ladies next to me with a perplexed expression. “What? What did he say, a package?” The ladies and I thought he was kidding and laughed. Seconds later, a clerk appeared from the back holding a gigantic vase filled with two dozens of red roses! I was stunned and couldn’t utter a sound. The ladies standing next to me made such a fuss. The clerk made his way around the desk with the vase and handed me the card. I was caught up with emotion; tears filled my eyes as I held the card close to my heart. Everyone behind me looked and made comments amongst themselves. The women next to me started asking all kinds of questions as they smelled the flowers. In fact, everyone admired their beauty, everyone except John. “Someone must really love you a lot,” the lady next to me said. As I ripped open the card and read the card. The card read,

I love you, have a good time, take a lot of pictures, and hurry back to my arms.

Your sweetheart,
Jordan

Oh, my god, I said to myself. The tears were flowing nonstop down my cheeks, and I struggled to keep my composure. I wiped my tears away, and I replied to their questions. “Yes! The flowers are from someone special in my life,” And signaled to the clerk that I was ready to go to my room. The desk clerk signaled for the clerk to carry the flowers while the bellman held the elevator. Meanwhile, my psycho-ex sucked his teeth and mumbled something from under his breath as he hurried to the elevator.

My room was on the fifteenth floor with a spectacular view. I tipped both clerks and reread the card again as I sat on the side of my king-size bed. Damn, Jordan must really love me; I can’t believe that he went out of his way to wire me flowers to Athens, Greece. I screamed! I knew that there was an eight-hour time difference, but I didn’t care. I reached for the phone to call New York! I needed to hear Jordan’s voice! I needed tell him that I loved him, and I had received his flowers. Xavier answered the phone and rushed to wake him up. “Hey, baby,” Jordan said with excitement, “You’re there already, he asked? “How was the flight, did you have any trouble with anything?” “The flight was okay, Jordan,” I replied. “I just wanted to tell you, I love you, and thank you for the flowers!” I said with excitement. We talked for almost an hour professing our love to one another then it was time to let him get back to sleep.

Around 10:00 AM, everyone was to meet in the second floor conference room of the hotel for the welcoming brunch and pick up the itinerary for the next nine days of our trip. We were to travel to the Panathenian, the Acropolis, and the city of Haeronia and Adelphi. Then cruise to the island of Aegina, Poros, and Hydra. My days of sightseeing were filled with adventure and excitement of the fascinating past along with modern day Greece. At night, when I would return to my hotel room, I was greeted by the sweet smell of the roses which made my heartache with loneliness. I missed the hell out of Jordan. All I could think of was I wanted to be held, kissed, and made love to. I would lie in bed and smell the sweet aroma of the flowers and dream of being in his arms. Every morning, I would talk to Jordan from Greece. My phone bill was adding up, but I didn’t care. I needed to hear my man’s voice to keep me sane; I needed the connection.

One of our conversations was most disturbing. For some reason Jordan wasn’t his self. His voice was uneasy and distant. It took a while but when I finally got him to tell me why, I almost cried. Jordan told me that he didn’t want any more kids and feared that his selfishness would someday come between us. I hadn’t even thought about kids! But if that meant so much to him, I was willing to forego children to save our relationship. So I promised Jordan something that I would have never promised anyone else. I promised Jordan, I would never get pregnant. With Jordan at my side, I knew my life was complete; and by promising him never to have kids would be a sacrifice I could live with. “Baby, are you sure you won’t change your mind or have regrets later on?” he asked “I’m sure.” To this day I have no idea where the baby conversation originated from, but I assured him that I was in the relationship for the long haul. Even though deep down inside I someday wanted to be a mommy, I wanted to be with him more. But now, it would only be Jordan and Haley together forever. After we hung up, I took a walk to clear my head.

When I returned from my walk it was time for me to meet the rest of my group for our excursion to Mount Olympus. I was in no mood to be sociable; I didn’t want to speak with any of my fellow tourist including John. On the last night of the trip, I ventured into the city to do last-minute shopping and ran into John unexpectedly at a café. As I walked thru the door, he was sitting at the first table by himself. I made contact and backed out of the door. About a block away from the restaurant, John caught up with me and asked if we could sit down and talk.

John expressed how hurtful it was to be in such a beautiful city with me, and we couldn’t even be cordial to one another. He wanted to rehash our failed relationship and point out the things that he felt went wrong. Then he did the unexpected, he told me that he wanted this trip to be our honeymoon! In a matter of two seconds, the blood rose to the top of my head and I went off! How dare he try and justify the mind games, better yet continue the mind games and attempt to make me feel guilty. And as far as marriage! Being married to him was out of the question! When I finished getting everything off my chest regarding our so-called relationship, I had a crowd around us. He apologized for his actions and asked if we could call a truce. Reluctantly, I agreed then shook hands. He suggested since it was our last night in Greece, as a peace offering he wanted to take me to a jazz club. So we walked back to the hotel dropped off my bags and met John in the lobby. We walked to a club about five blocks away. The music was great! It put me in a good mood. Ironically, the band that was playing was from New York too. After four drinks we were feeling no pain. After the band’s third set, John suggested that we head back to the hotel because we had an early flight. I agreed and we finished our drinks. As we walked back to the hotel, we talked about all the beautiful ruins of Athens. He walked me to my room and said good night. Like I said from the beginning, he was a gentleman despite his shortcomings!

At 6:30 AM I could see land! All I could think of New York here I come! I had two days to spend with Jordan before he left on tour, and I was going to make them memorable. As soon as the plane landed, I made my way to the baggage area and prayed my bags would not be the last ones on the conveyor carousel. Ten minutes later, I grabbed the last of my bags and rushed outside to catch a cab home. Luckily, rush hour hadn’t started yet and was able to make it home in twenty minutes. I ran in the house looking to greet Hobbs, only to find a note from Dawn. She stated that she had Hobbs at her house and would bring him back later if I wanted. I kissed the note, ran upstairs, and jumped in the shower. I didn’t tell Jordan when my flight was arriving because I wanted to surprise him and be at his house when he got home for rehearsal. No one was at the apartment when I arrived, so I used my key and made myself at home. I dropped my bags in Jordan’s room and walked to the kitchen to scan what was in the refrigerator. Seeing nothing I wanted to cook, I decided to walk across the street to the grocery store and picked up a couple of things for dinner. While I started dinner, I changed the sheets on the bed, put fresh towels in the bathroom and vacuumed. I packed up all of the dirty laundry and ran to the laundry mat at the corner. I paid the attendant to wash, dry, and fold his clothes to save me time. Around four thirty, I picked up the laundry and neatly put everything away. That would give us more time alone when he got home from work. So I showered and put on a beautiful La Perla nightgown that I picked up in Greece, turned on the TV and sat down in his oversized chair. I noticed that he had left his itinerary on the night table and decided to return the surprise of a gift when he arrived at his hotels. So I called the Vermont Teddy Bear Company and ordered a personalized teddy bear for Jordan. I decided on the one with a tee shirt, sunglasses, blue jeans, and Timberland boots. The company promised that the bear would be expressed mailed that night, and that it would arrive in Hong Kong before Jordan did. Then I called the Hilton Resort in Phuket and ordered a bottle of champagne and fresh fruit for his room when he checked in. My last call was to the Marriott Hotel in Bangkok, and arranged to have two dozens of white roses to be placed in his hotel room when he arrived. I didn’t care what it cost; he was worth every cent and more. After I was done I curled up and took a nap.

Around eight-thirty, I woke up after hearing the front door close. I heard footsteps walking past the dining room and continue down the hall. Jordan yelled, “Baby, I’m home!” He dropped everything at the bedroom door and ran over to me and kissed me as if he was starving. We must have been mauling each other a good five minutes and only stopped because we heard a voice say, “Take it inside!” We broke from our embrace to see Michael, Xavier, and his other roommate, Tyrese, standing in the hallway laughing at us. “Hey, Tyrese,” Jordan said. “This is my heart; my heart, this is Tyrese,” and laughed. “Well . . .” Tyrese said, “I was hoping that’s who she was, especially since you were in the death lip-lock,” and laughed. Michael and Xavier walked over to me and greeted me with a hug. Xavier stepped back and said, “Haley, Jordan was unbearable to live with when you were gone, and I’m glad you’re back.” Michael chimed in next with another smart comment. “Look, man, we know you two haven’t seen each other in a while so we’re going to leave and give you some alone time. So the three of us are going to check out a movie, and leave you two love birds for a while. As soon as the door closed, it was on. Jordan and I made love on the bed, the chair, standing up; against the wall, you name it. The lovemaking that night was spectacular, exhausting, and very noisy. Just as I expected!

Jordan spent the better half of the next day getting his affairs in order and packing. The following morning came too soon! Jordan had to be at the airport by 5:30 AM so we didn’t get much sleep. We were up by three o’clock and heading for the airport by five. When we arrived at the terminal we noticed that most of the dancers in his company were on line and checking their bags. We kissed and he exited the car as I popped the trunk opened and grabbed his bags. He blew me a kiss and then walked thru the revolving doors.

I made my way through the airport traffic and headed to my office. The day dragged on; work was hectic and my boss was in a bad mood and very demanding. All I could think about was going home to Hobbs and my bed. Around four o’clock, I called Dawn and told her that I would pick up Hobbs from her house around 6:00 PM, and she agreed. Finally, my day was over, and I was on my way home. I stopped at the store and purchased a raw hide bone for Hobbs. I arrived at Dawn’s house, scooped up Hobbs and took my tired ass home.

It was 3:00 AM when I was awaken by the phone. It was Jordan calling to thank me for the teddy bear and chocolates. “Hey, baby, I just got in my room . . . damn, I love this teddy bear and where in the hell did you find boots this small to fit his little ass?” He apologized for not being able to talk longer but he had to meet with the rest of the group and promised to call me later. He made several kissing and moaning sounds and hung up. We spoke to each other every day sometimes twice a day. We needed that fix, that connection and even thought we were miles apart no one else mattered.

Finally, the six weeks were over and Jordan was on his last leg of his trip. He flew into New York and made his connection to Arizona without any delays. When he arrived at his parent’s house he called, and I met his family over the phone. I spoke with his mom, his two sisters, and his little brother and wished them all a merry Christmas. While we were on the phone his mother handed him a UPS package which was marked urgent! “Go on, Jordan, open it now!” his mom yells. “Oh shit, baby, you mailed a Christmas present to my mother’s house?” Jordan exclaimed. I could hear him ripping the paper from the box and then dead silence. “Let me see, let me see,” his family yelled. “It’s beautiful, baby!” his mother shouted. “A Ulysses Nardin watch, damn, baby, I’m speechless. Okay, so now that you surprised me, I’ll surprise you,” he said. “Go to the closet in you office, on the top shelf and look in the box on the top left corner.” I dropped the phone and went screaming into the other room. I tore the box off the shelf and screamed. I ran back to the phone and held the box. Inside, I found a platinum ring with a marquis stone. “Baby, I was waiting till I got home to make it official, so you have to wait for the second half of your present till I get home,” Jordan said. I couldn’t talk! I started crying on the phone and tried the ring on. I didn’t want to keep him away from his family anymore than I had. We agreed to speak later on that night and hung up so he could enjoy Christmas dinner with his family and I could enjoy mine.

Later on that evening he called to see how the rest of my day had gone. “Just think I’ll be home in two more days, baby!” Jordan said. “I’m not sure if I’ll get a chance to speak with you when I get to Ohio, but I’ll try. My son’s mother Angie has been giving me hell lately about Jayden, and I’m not comfortable calling you anywhere around her. Angie still thinks that she can hold on to me, and I think its best,” Jordan whispered. I was shocked, no, how about stunned, that was probably the most he’s ever said about his ex-girlfriend. When I tried to talk to Jordan about his ex-girlfriend in the beginning of our relationship, he would always change the subject. But he did mention that she was supposed to have had her tubes tied, sterile, or some physical problem, then boom . . . there’s Jayden! She didn’t even call him at the apartment, at least not when I was around. I didn’t want to stress him out, so I let it go. But deep down inside in the pit of my stomach I could feel an uneasy churn.

Okay, it’s December 26, and I’ve got to wait one more day I said to myself. This was the day that he did the daddy thing and hopefully not the: we are family thing. I went the whole day without hearing from Jordan, and it was making me nervous. I tried to catch up on some work on my computer but couldn’t concentrate. I was fidgety, short-tempered, and just not myself so I decided to go to the spa and to get the knots out of my body. That didn’t work. So I decided to make an extra strong Cosmopolitan and curled up in bed.

The next morning, I woke up at around 10:00 AM and rushed to the airport to pick up Jordan. As he walked out of the terminal, I was standing by the car with open arms. He threw his bags in the trunk, and we stood kissing until the port authority police pulled up and asked us to leave the area. We drove to my house and spent an enchanting evening together. We played catch up for two days and was exhausted and lustfully fulfilled.

There’s nothing more rewarding than waking up to the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. Jordan is the man who satisfies my every desire, who is mentally challenging and stimulates my dreams. But deep down in the bowels of my heart I knew he was distracted by his ex-lover. I could sense that he had changed. The kisses were different, the way he held me was different, and the way we made love was different.

It was Monday morning, February 12, 2005, and the alarm had just gone off, and I hit the snooze to catch an extra fifteen minutes. Jordan nudges me and said, “Don’t you have to get up?” “Yeah, but I thought I could lie in your arms a little longer,” I said as I rolled over. I hated to get up without making love first. But this was Jordan’s first day back to work, and I knew he had to dance. Unfortunately, like athletes, sex before game time or in his case his shows are a no-no. So I slowly got up and made my way to the bathroom. I jumped in the shower and cooled my loins before I changed my mind and rushed back to the bed and seduced him.

As I stood in the shower, something came over me, and I started crying. I had a sleepless night, I tossed and turned dreaming weird dreams that I couldn’t remember. I felt as if my soul was no longer at peace, I was hurting inside. As I grabbed for the towel and dried myself off, I tried to shake that eerie feeling. Was it my sixth sense kicking in that made my hair on the back of my neck tingle and my stomach queasy? I couldn’t concentrate and I was afraid to ask why!

Just three weeks ago, Jordan came home different after his tour. No, I take that back, after visiting with his son Jayden and his ex-girlfriend. There were times when he would act distant, unresponsive, and distracted, almost like a spell was cast upon him. I didn’t want think it, to admit it, or believe it, but deep down in my heart I knew someone had come between us. His ex . . .

I couldn’t hold back, so I told Jordan about my feelings when I came out of the bathroom. Jordan walked over to me and asked me to sit on the side of the bed with him. Then he told me something that would shatter my world. What he said tore into my heart like a lightning bolt tearing my heart into a million pieces and caused the light in my heart to die. Jordan told me that he was confused. He was confronted with a serious decision to make. He began to explain that while visiting with his son during the Christmas holidays, Angie hit him with this. She stated that she was sorry for deceiving him, that she and Jayden needed him in their lives. That she needs a man, and her man back. She wants her son to know the sense of family, and the three of them could work past their problems. When Jordan resisted her offer, Angie threatened to move from Ohio, and he would have a difficult time or never see his son again. Then Jordan dropped the bombshell; Jordan confessed that he was in love with the both of us! My head was spinning, my stomach was tied up in knots, I was nauseous and became light-headed; I tried to talk but couldn’t.

This was great timing, I had an important meeting at work and if I didn’t leave within the hour, I’d end up right in the middle of the rush hour. Shit, I didn’t have time for fifty questions. God, just give me the strength to get dresses without asking anymore questions. But I couldn’t help myself; I had a million questions running through my head. I held back my tears and walked over to Jordan and held him tight. As I looked up at him, tears came from everywhere, and I began to shake uncontrollably.

He wiped my tears and told me to get dressed, and we would talk about it when we both got home from work. Jordan’s words were cold; his demeanor was uncaring and strange. The voices in my head kept saying, We have such a beautiful relationship. He loves me and I love him. How can he throw this away? He told me that I was perfect for him. The next thing I knew, I was looking up at the ceiling, and Jordan was kneeling over me with tears in his eyes. I guess I was so overwhelmed; I passed out. He gently picked me up off the floor and placed me on the bed. He went into the bathroom and brought back a cold wet wash cloth and began to wipe my face. He climbed on to the bed, held me in his arms, and we both cried. I was a wreck; there was no way I could drive, and I definitely couldn’t go to work. Jordan called my office and told them that I must have a 24-hour bug and that I wouldn’t be coming in. He, on the other hand, had rehearsal then a show that night. It was getting late; Jordan kissed me on the forehead and asked if I’d mind if he drives the car into the city. “Go ahead; take it,” I said as I turned my back to him. I cried and drifted in and out of sleep all day. I was a mess. All I could do was think of how I had given my all to Jordan and this relationship, and now it’s over? I woke up somewhere around 9:00 PM and couldn’t open my eyes, they were swollen shut, from crying all day. I staggered to the bathroom, splashed water on my face, and tried to pry my eyes open. I was a mess, no, I was hideous! My eyes were so swollen that I looked like a sci-fi monster. I grabbed a couple of ice cubes from the freezer and sat in the living room. Jordan arrived home around eleven-thirty. He sat in the living room with me for a while. Then said he had a lot of thinking to do and was going to his apartment.

He called a cab then went upstairs to pack a bag. By the time he finished packing his bag, the cab was in front of the house blowing its horn. He ran down the stairs, kissed me good-bye, and walked out the door. The next three days I was in limbo. I know the sun rose in the morning and set in the evening, but that’s all I could tell you. I didn’t eat, drink, or bathe. The only normal one in my house was Hobbs. He knew something was wrong with me and stayed by my side. All I can remember is that my phone rang that Friday night and it was him.

The first thing he said was “Please don’t interrupt me, Haley, and I love you very much. I wish that I had met you a long time ago. The love we share is so special, pure, genuine, and unique. It’s everything that I would want in a relationship. You are the perfect woman for me, and I would do anything for you.” He continued and said,” Remember when we met I told you that God brought us together for a reason?” I answered, “Yes.” Then he said; now he knew why. Jordan paused a moment and then said, “God brought us together so I could see what I had left behind. A woman who loves me and made a mistake, and a son who until recently never was held by his father. Even though we have the perfect relationship, it doesn’t fill the void in my heart that I have for Angie. Besides, I always hated the fact that I never knew my father. I don’t want my son to go through what I did. That’s why we can’t see each other anymore.”

What was I hearing? What the hell? What? I became hysterical! I dropped the phone and screamed at the top of my lungs. I ran into the bathroom and was sick to my stomach. I couldn’t stop throwing up. I guess I scared Jordan because he called a close friend of mine from his other line. “Hello, Dawn, this is Jordan. Please do me a favor. Please go over to the house, I think she needs help.” Jordan’s phone call startled Dawn and she dropped everything and drove directly to my house. As Dawn was pulling up to my house another close friend of mine happen to be stopping by. “Sean!” Dawn yelled. “Did Jordan call you too?” “No. Why? What’s wrong?” Sean asked. “I don’t know! All I know is that Jordan called me a few minutes ago and asked me to come over here because Haley may need help!” Dawn nervously opened the front door. Sean walked in behind her and started yelling my name. With all the commotion Hobbs started barking while running down the stairs. They both ran upstairs and found me on the floor in the corner of my bedroom, still shaking and crying hysterically. “Oh, shit! Are you okay? Are you hurt?” they both asked. Dawn picked the phone up off the floor, “Hello, Jordan, are you there?” Sean kept asking me was I hurt. Did I need a doctor? He jumped up and looked around to see if someone had broken into the house and hurt me. “Haley, please tell us what’s wrong!” Dawn pleaded.

I didn’t mean to scare the shit out of them but I was zoned out. It took them almost fifteen minutes to calm me down and understand what I was saying. When I blurted out that Jordan had broken up with me, Dawn held me in her arms and stroked my hair. Sean looked as me with annoyance at first then became sympathetic to my pain. “You’re gonna be okay, don’t worry, he’ll be back before you know it.” At the same time this was going on another one of my close friends, Nia was walking into my house. “Hey, guys, what’s going on up there?” Nia asked. “Hey, girl!” Dawn and Sean yelled back. “We’re up here!”

Nia and Dawn were able to calm down long enough to tell all of them about the conversation I had had with Jordan. Damn, that’s fucked up! Nia and Dawn signaled for Sean to go downstairs and to make some tea while they put me in the tub. Nia walked into the bathroom, found some bath gel, and ran a hot bath for me. Meanwhile Dawn undressed me, brushed, and pinned up my hair to make me feel more comfortable then covered my shaking body with my fuzzy robe. “Come on, girl, relax in the tub for a while,” and walked me into the bathroom. I couldn’t even tell if the water was too hot. I was numb, my brain was numb, and it was like I was in a catatonic state. I can clearly say that was one of the worst days of my life. I now understand how someone can be sane one day and flip the fuck out the next. If you ask me, I was on the edge; all because I had lost the man I truly loved. I had the shakes, I was nauseous, and I couldn’t catch my balance. My heart felt as if it was going to burst through my chest. One minute I was okay, the next I was crying hysterically. My god, help me pull myself together.

Dawn sat on the side of the tub and watched Nia bathe me. When she was finished they stood me up and turned on the shower to rinse the soap off me. Then they dried me off and put me in bed. In the meantime, Sean was making us drinks, I guess after that madness, we all needed drinks. Lots of drinks at that! Sean tucked me in and they all sat around in my room and waited for me to fall asleep. I woke up sometime around 7:30 PM and found Nia fast asleep next to me. I gingerly eased my way out of the bed, trying not to wake her and went downstairs where I found Dawn making breakfast.

“Hey, Haley, are you okay? I’m gonna make up some coffee, how about it?” Dawn asked as she hugged me. “No. I don’t want anything right now,” I replied. We sat in the kitchen and I gave her a blow-by-blow account of the whole Jordan, Angie, Jayden saga. She assured me that things would work out, and I would be okay. But I knew in my heart things wouldn’t be okay and that Jordan was gone, gone for good and out of my life for ever.

Just then Nia walked into the kitchen. “Hey, bitches!” We turned around and laughed. It’s a term of endearment that we use amongst ourselves. “Hey, girl!” Dawn shouted. Nia walked over to me and gave me a big hug for support. I knew I had great friends, but it wasn’t till then I realized how blessed I was. I believe Sean, Dawn, and Nia turned into my guardian angles over the past two days. They don’t realize that they truly saved me from a fate worse than death.

The next three days were unbearable for me. Everywhere I looked I saw things that reminded me of Jordan. He had things all over my house. There were photos, artwork that he brought back from his trips hung on the walls, clothes in my closet, and other countless possessions. The essence of Jordan was everywhere.

The following weekend Jordan called and asked if I could bring him the rest of his clothes. What fucking nerve! “Yeah, I’ll bring your things to the apartment after I get off work on Friday,” I said under my breath. It was unnerving, and I couldn’t do it alone. So I called Dawn and Nia to help me. It took us all night long to go thru the house and to pack up his stuff. Then I ran out of space in my car! I had to make two trips. Oh hell no, if he wants the rest of his things, he’ll have to come and get them himself. It was a long and lonely drive from Long Island to Harlem. I was nervous the closer I got to Harlem, the more I started to perspire.

When I arrived at the apartment, Xavier answered the door and greeted me with a hug and kiss. He noticed that I had two suitcases in hand and jokingly asked if I were running away from Long Island. I forced a smile and went straight to Jordan’s room without answering. I knocked on the door and entered slowly.

There in the dark sat Jordan. He got up and gave me a hug. He sat me down and held my hand and took a deep breath. Jordan felt it necessary to talk about our last conversation, and to rehash what happened over the Christmas holidays. I was getting upset and went into the kitchen and poured a large glass of Tequila and started to throw it back. I walked back into the bedroom; I looked around the room and truly didn’t know where to start. As Jordan talked, I drank; in fact, I drank so much I was having a hard time standing up. I hadn’t eaten all day; so between having an empty stomach, crying, and the tequila, I was drunk as a skunk in no time.

I was so fucked up! I stumbled to the bathroom, and cried myself to sleep while sitting on the toilet. I don’t know how long I was in there, but it must have been a long time. The next thing I knew, Jordan was banging on the bathroom to see if I was okay. I cracked the door open, and he pushed his way in. He tried to get me to stand up, but I slid to the floor. “Leave me on the floor,” I slurred. I need the coolness of the floor tiles on my body to sober up. I was a hot mess! Jordan walked out of the bathroom and came back ten to twenty minutes later and hoisted me up over his shoulder and carried me to his room. He laid me down on the bed and undressed me.

I woke up around midnight and found myself wrapped up in his arms. As I began to move around, he woke up and gave me a kiss on the arm. He got up without saying a word and walked out of the room. I tried to sit up but couldn’t. My head wouldn’t let me. So I laid down, closed my eyes, and prayed when Jordan went into the kitchen to get me aspirins. A short time later, he entered the room caring a tray with coffee and toast. “Aspirin, aspirin,” I whispered. Jordan turned to me and pointed to the tray, aspirins. Around 2 PM we got up, I showered and dressed while he got himself together. The last of my packing was finished around 6 PM, and we slowly took my bags down to the car. After five trips back and forth, we were finished.

It was now official, my life with Jordan was now over, and so was my dual residency. I went back upstairs for the last time and ran into Xavier and Michael in the hall. They had no idea what was going on, so when they went to give me a friendly hug. I told them both that this would be the last time that they would see me and to take care of themselves. Michael and Xavier looked at each other then turned to Jordan who was standing in the doorway. I was choking on my words and started to hyperventilate then I burst into tears. Jordan walked over to me and held me tight. He walked me back to his room and closed the door. There, we held each other and cried in each others arms. I was falling apart again. I didn’t want to go, and I didn’t think I could drive, but I knew I had to go. I regained my composure, stood up, and gave Jordan a kiss. I held him tight and held my breath as long as I could. Finally, I let go, turned around, and then walked out of the apartment.

To tell you the truth, I don’t remember anything about the ride home. But thank God my car knows the way home! I staggered up the front walkway and into the house. I had enough energy to feed Hobbs and to let him out and before landing on the couch. My head was spinning, and I could feel my stomach churning. An hour later, I pulled myself up, let Hobbs back in the house, and made a beeline for the bathroom. I couldn’t bring myself to remove my things out of the car so I ended up driving around with my shit in my car for a week. I didn’t know if I was coming or going, and I’m sure my friends and neighbors didn’t know either. My coworkers noticed that I was having a hard time coping and suggested to my boss that I needed to take some time off. But I forced myself to hang in there, and I threw myself into my work. A week went by before I noticed that I hadn’t eaten a thing. I had gone without food subconsciously and was starting to lose weight. I had no appetite, and the smell of food made me sick. I knew what I was doing wasn’t healthy, but it was also the perfect opportunity to jump on a diet.

I had attempted a high-protein diet the year before and failed miserably. So I might as well give it a shot now. I ended up losing a total of thirty pounds in two months, and I looked great! September October, November, and December came and went, and my life before Jordan was returning.

Then on March 1, he called. “Hello, Haley. This is Jordan. How have you been?” I stopped everything I was doing and sat down at my desk. It was like my heart stopped, and I became flushed. “Was it really Jordan? My Jordan?” I said out loud. I guess he could sense the tension in the air and asked, “Was it a good time to talk?” “Hold on,” I replied and got up and closed the door to my office. “Yeah, we can talk; I just needed a moment,” I replied. “What did I do to deserve the phone call?” I asked. “Well . . .” He mentioned that his dance company would be in town for a one week engagement and asked if I would come to one of his shows. “I’ll be on tour in Europe on your birthday in May, and this would be the only time I have to see you. Besides it would be like a pre birthday gift from me,” he said. I accepted his invitation and got the directions to the theater.

I was nervous and had a hard time concentrating the rest of the week. Finally, Friday night arrived. I was wearing a tight, low cut, sexy black dress, come-fuck-me pumps on and headed to Jordan’s show. The show was great and his performance spectacular, just like I remembered. After the show, I stood outside nervously pacing by the stage door waiting for him to come out. I guess you could say it was deja vu all over again. Jordan approached me from behind, grabbed my waist, and spun me around. “Damn . . . Haley, you look great! I miss the hell out of you!” Then kissed me on the lips and held me tight. We talked and held hands as we walked to my car. He suggested eating a light dinner downtown so off we went. We found a little Indian restaurant in the village and had a romantic meal. After dinner, Jordan suggested we go back to his house for a night cap. I was a little apprehensive at first, but willing to take a chance. As I entered the apartment, Jordan beckoned for me to go to his room and to get comfortable. I walked down the hall and stopped at the door before entering. I took a deep breath and entered the room. Everything was just like I remembered. Jordan walked in behind me holding a bottle of red wine and gestured for me to sit on the bed. I slipped off my shoes and sat on the side of the bed while Jordan poured the wine. It was uncomfortable and awkward at first, but we warmed up to each other eventually. We laughed and talked about the good times we shared. When we finished the bottle, I was woozy but ready to go, but Jordan insisted that I was in no condition to drive, and I didn’t argue. I stood up and slipped my dress off. Jordan stood up, walked over to me, and kissed me all over my body. I started unbuttoning his shirt and pants as he unsnapped my bra. He kissed my hand and led me to the bathroom.

We stood in the bathroom and held each other tight. Jordan reached over, turned on the water, and pulled me into the shower with him. We began to kiss as we washed each other’s bodies. We stepped out of the shower and without drying off Jordan picked me up and carried me back to his room. He gently placed me on the bed and began kissing me all over my body. Jordan sucked and nibbled at my neck, arms, and stomach. He parted my legs, placed my legs over his shoulder, and pushed his penis deep inside me until I screamed with passion. I wanted to return the favor and make him feel as good as I did so I rolled Jordan over on his back. I kissed, licked, and sucked him from head to toe. When he was at his hardest, I placed my mouth around his erect penis and began to suck wildly. When he was about to reach his climax, I pulled his throbbing penis out of my mouth and gently rolled on a condom. We made love in every imaginable position and utilized every inch of his room. We went from the bed; to the chair then the dresser, from laying down to standing up and the last position I can remember I was upside down! It was much more intense than our first encounter. Oh, it was a freaky fuck fest that night! We woke up early the next morning and started again! Damn . . . Damn . . . that was the best of Jordan I had ever had!

When the alarm clock went off at nine o’clock, I knew the fairy tale was over. We got up not uttering a single word to one another, showered and dressed in silence. I couldn’t read his face. Was he upset for making love to me or was he rethinking our relationship? I knew that I was still in love with Jordan, even if he wasn’t in love with me. But I had to keep it real. I had to convince myself that it was just sex and nothing more. As much as I hated to admit it, our lovemaking that night was nothing but a bootie call for him. I looked at the clock, and realized that I had to get to work. I kissed Jordan on the lips and left with my heart in my hands. I knew Jordan was leaving soon, so when I didn’t hear from him I knew he had probably left the States and was on tour in Europe.

I had settled back into a routine and was getting my life on track. I hit the gym three days a week after work and went to the club on Sundays. That was my new life until Saturday afternoon. My car was just about empty when I pulled up to the Exxon gas station on Peninsula Boulevard. As I jumped out of my car, I noticed a beautiful black on black S500 Mercedes Benz; with tinted windows to my left. As I walked passed the Mercedes and headed for the attendant’s booth, the driver of the Mercedes yelled, “Excuse me Miss, you have a beautiful Mercedes, love that model. It’s a 300E right!” I turned around and saw this handsome black man dressed jeans, a cut-up sweatshirt, and timberlands. We made small talk as I made my way to the booth to pay for my gas. I turned around to take another look at the guy; he was in his car and about to pull off. I watched the car pull to the driveways, back up, and then park. This mystery man exited the vehicle and walked right up me where I was pumping gas. “Hey, I couldn’t pull off without introducing myself. My name is Kavon Emory,” And reached for the gas pump in my hand. “Hope you don’t mind if I pump your gas,” he said with a smile. “Besides I couldn’t drive away without knowing what your name was and asking if you’d have dinner with me tonight.” I blushed and told Kavon my name.

He pulled out a pen and a piece of paper from his jeans pocket and wrote down his home and cell numbers. I had his home number, how could I go wrong! So I returned the favor and agreed to have dinner that night with him. He smiled and finished pumping the gas in my car. When he was finished he walked back to his car and waited for me to pull off. We both headed down Peninsula Boulevard, when we got to the second light, he turned left and I kept straight. I couldn’t wait to call my friends and tell them about my mystery date. I made a conference call to Sean, Dawn, and Nia. Sean thought I was crazy to give my phone number to a total stranger. He stated that he would be at my house when the guy showed up and act like my brother. Then if he didn’t like the guy’s vibes, he would follow us to make sure I was safe. Dawn and Nia agreed with Sean and wanted to do the undercover sleuth thing with Sean.

Kavon called around two-thirty, and suggested that he pick me up around 5:00 PM and to dress casual. I gave him the directions to my house and started getting ready for my date. I showered, washed my hair, and tore through my closet for something not sexy and not too revealing. I decided on a navy blue spandex jogging set. The front of the top was a square cut and the entire back was mesh. The pants fit my shape, and they weren’t too tight. Not to be conceited, I looked damn good!

Kavon arrived promptly at 5:00 PM. When I opened the door Kavon was standing there with a single red rose in his hand. “Here, Haley, this is for you,” Kavon leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek as he stepped though the door. I could tell that Kavon was impressed with my outfit because he walked around me licking his juicy luscious lips. I invited him into the kitchen while I searched for a vase for the rose. I noticed that he was wearing sweats and another cut off top that exposed his well-defined six pack and biceps. He was truly a hot piece, and I was going to make sure I got a slice. Kavon was thirty-three years old, with a smooth bronze complexion with dark brown eyes and a bald head. He stood approximately five feet ten and about 180 pounds of muscle with a tattoo on his right shoulder and a hairy chest! He had this clean cut look about him but also displayed this “bad boy” image. Damn, all the things to make a girl like me happy. I pinched myself and chuckled. Did I just strike it rich or what? I asked myself. I found a vase in the bottom of my china cabinet and walked back into the kitchen to join Kavon. I checked on Hobbs to make sure that he was okay, refilled his water and food bowl, and walked out the door.

Kavon took me to a restaurant near Jones Beach where we ordered lobster and shrimp pasta for two along with a bottle of wine. Even though he told me that he wasn’t seeing anyone, his phone was ringing nonstop! After the sixth call, he shut off his phone or put it on vibrate. From what I could tell by his one-sided conversations, two of the calls may have been from his male friends, the other calls seem to be from females. If had to bet, they were all wondering what he was doing, who was he doing it with, and when he was going to do them. All wanting to stake a claim on his ass, and what a nice ass he had indeed! After dinner, we decided to go back to the car, get a blanket, and to sit on the beach.

Kavon told me a lot about himself that night, it was as if he wanted me to know all the dirt up front! He started off by saying that he was thirty-three years old, single, never married and had two kids. A daughter, thirteen years old, named Latrice and an eleven-year-old son named Chase. Kavon stated that he and his family migrated to the United States from Trinidad when he was fifteen years old and that he and his family moved to Brooklyn with his aunt and uncle. Being new in the neighborhood and one of the finest ones, he had girls all over the place. He met a girl named Grace and fell head over heels in love and boom, Latrice was born. Kavon stated that Grace didn’t want the baby so when his parents were able to move out of his aunt and uncle’s house and moved to Long Island, she gave him full custody of his daughter. Kavon and Chase’s mother, Karen, had a little more history. They met when he was a senior in high school and moved in with each other after graduation. Kavon said he didn’t want to go into any details about Karen on our first date. But did say that he was tired of the bullshit and left. I’m not quite sure if he got mad at himself for telling me all of his business or that he was mad about his past, but he quickly changed the subject then continued.

Kavon mentioned that he worked in Manhattan as an assistant manager for Chase Bank. My first impression of Kavon wasn’t too far off from the real deal. Kavon was a cross between a perfect gentleman, a loving father, a b-boy, and a player all rolled into one. Saying that meant that Kavon had piqued my interest. He made me curious, and made me contemplate on finding out what made him tick. Around ten-thirty, we decided to pack up and to go back to my house. After we got back to my house, I fixed drinks and a light snack. We sat on the couch and watched a movie. It was a nice feeling to sit on the couch and watch a movie in someone’s arms again. For a brief moment, I thought of Jordan and realized that he had someone to watch movies with and forced him from my thoughts. Kavon seemingly had the right chemistry that I was looking for, and I desperately needed to get on with my life. But I wasn’t sure if I was going to take the chance with Mr. Kavon Emory.

Especially after finding out that he had two kids by two different women, I wasn’t sure if I would be up for the “baby mama drama,” and I sure as hell didn’t need it. One kiss turned into two, two turned into ten. The next thing I knew, I was wet! The heat from Kavon’s body was intense, and we both started to sweat. My body began to tell me “Girl, Get some of that Dick and stop frontin’.” On the other hand, my head was saying, “Keep your damn legs closed and your panties on! Besides it’s our first date! I had an angel on my left shoulder and the devil was on my right. I hadn’t had sex in who knows when! I was in need of a stiff dick, and I couldn’t and wouldn’t deny myself from the pleasures of sex any longer.

I broke away from his kiss and sat up on the couch. I looked in Kavon’s eyes and stood up. I was nervous. I took a deep breath and held out my hand. Kavon stood up, and I started to unbutton his shirt. Then I turned around and led him upstairs. Once inside my bedroom, I finished undressing Kavon and he began to undress me. I hadn’t noticed it before but, we had sand all over us, so we opted to take a shower first. After a quick shower we were ready to resume what we had come upstairs to do. I didn’t even let him dry off! I stepped out of the shower and led him back to my room, pronto! The foreplay was magnificent! He was gentle and caressed my body with care. He kissed and licked my body from head to toe! I returned each kiss and lick the same way. About an hour into the foreplay, he reached for his wallet and pulled out a condom, which I took from his hand and placed it around his rock-hard penis.

I was wet, tight, and needed to be fucked! Kavon pulled me to the edge of the bed and placed my legs around his neck and slowly entered me. His thrusts were forceful and full of rhythm. He pulled my legs from around his neck and pulled me to the edge of the bed and spread them as wide as he could. “Damn, your flexible; you do Yoga and shit?” Kavon asked. Kavon pounded me like a construction worker with a jackhammer chopping his way through cement! He flipped me over onto my stomach, hoisted me up onto my feet then bent me over and tried to enter me from the rear. “Oh hell no! No baby, I don’t do that,” I calmly said. “Okay, just stay like that,” he whispered and then smacked me on my ass. Damn that stung! I just knew that I was going to have his hand print on my ass, just like a tattoo! I had a sex maniac on my hands, and he wasn’t about to stop or let go. Somebody up there must have known that I needed to catch my breath because all of a sudden, the condom broke, and we had to stop. Kavon gently pulled out and reached for his wallet. I, on the other hand, was trying to catch my breath and get my footing. As Kavon attempted to slip on the second condom, it busted. “God damn!” he yelled and looked to me for help. I wanted to finish what I started, so I told him to open the top draw of my nightstand and grab one from the silver box.

I had enough time to regain my composure, and this time, I was ready to attack! So Kavon likes it rough and wild, I said to myself. I’ll give him rough and wild! I pushed Kavon down on the bed and straddled myself over him, and we went at it. Then we moved to the wall where I was able to stretch my leg over his arm while standing. I gyrated my hips and pumped my ass up and down with force. Then when he was about to erupt, I squeezed my muscles like a vice and made him scream obscenities then watched him drop to the floor from exhaustion. His breathing was erratic as I watched him struggled to catch his breath. “Damn, girl. Are you trying to kill me?” he asked. He pulled himself up off the floor, crawled into the bed, and beckoned for me to lie in his arms. About thirty minutes later, I got up and went downstairs to get us something to drink, and Kavon went into the bathroom. When I returned, I could hear the shower running, so I knocked on the bathroom door and entered. As I held out the glass for Kavon to take a sip, he pulled me into the shower. He washed me from head to toe, and I washed him. We dried off, went back into my room to watch TV, and fell asleep in each others arms.

“Hmmm, what’s that smell?” I rolled over and noticed that Kavon was MIA, and then I realized that he was in the kitchen, making breakfast. My, my, my, he got real comfortable, real fast, I thought. I got up and went into the bathroom. When I came out, Kavon was walking up the stairs with a tray of food. “I just let your dog out and gave him some fresh water, so please go back to bed so I can feed you your breakfast,” Kavon said. How thoughtful. Breakfast! The man was phenomenal in the kitchen! He had made French toast garnished with confectionary sugar, sausages, bacon, eggs, orange juice, and coffee. Damn, a great fuck and a culinary master. I hit the jackpot and laughed to myself. Where had this man been hiding all my life? Shit, I know damn well, there’s some female, if not three or four, ready to kill for this man. Kavon was sure nuff, a walking, talking, licking, eating, and fucking gold mine! I knew if I continued seeing Kavon I would be in for drama and maybe forced to throw down.

When we finished breakfast, Kavon decided not to wear out his welcome, so he jumped in the shower and got himself ready to leave. We walked down the stairs holding hands and stopped just short of the front door. “How’s your schedule this week? Would I be able to see you?” Kavon asked. “I do have a hectic week ahead, but I should be free after six.” We kissed a long passionate kiss and watched him as he pulled off as I leaned against the door frame. I had to laugh to myself; that I met this man the day before and had the time of my life. Only thing was, I had a funny feeling that the drama was about to begin. As fast as I could blink my eyes, the weekend was over, and I was back to my routine. I got through four days of meetings, deadlines conferences, and briefings. Ugh! Where does the madness end! The bright side of my week was the daily phone calls from Kavon.

It was Friday morning around 9:00 AM when a girlfriend of mine called. Toni and I go way back, about fifteen years in fact. Toni has always been and inspiration, a motivator, a go-getter, and a good friend to have when I need someone to talk to. Toni was a five feet and seven inches bombshell with a fiery personality to match her beauty. She started her own construction company a few years back and was doing very well for herself.

The first thing Toni said to me when she called was, “Haley, I need you to do me a big favor. If you’re not busy, please get on the computer or call the airlines for me. I need to find a flight leaving late this afternoon to the Caribbean. I don’t care where it is, Bahamas, Puerto Rico, Dominican Republic; just find the sand for me, girl. I need to get the hell out of here, and I don’t have time to do it.” Oh shit, she must have had a fight with her boyfriend Thomas again, I thought to myself. “Yeah girl, I have some free time to surf the web. I call you back when I get some numbers,” I said and hung up. I called Toni back about two hour later and left the information on her voice mail. Around twelve, I decided to go to lunch with my coworker Lynn and left the office to grab a bite to eat and to do a little window shopping.

Lynn and I had just sat down to have lunch when Toni called back. She confirmed my suspicions, about her having a fight with her boyfriend. Toni stated that she was fed up with his shit and wanted to get away. So she booked us a three-thirty flight to Nassau, Bahamas. I looked at the phone and then asked her to repeat what she had just said. “Girl, you’re going to the Bahamas for the weekend, so get your shit and let’s go. I already paid for your tickets, just meet me at the airport at three o’clock. Don’t be late; we’re boarding at three-forty-five sharp.” Then she hung up. Oh shit! I looked at my coworker, then my watch. Damn, it was 1:30 PM! I had to drive from my office in upper Manhattan to Long Island and then back to LaGuardia airport by three o’clock, shit! I grabbed my bag, then grabbed my coworker’s hand, and ran back to the office. We ran into the building, waving our security IDs at the guards, and made a mad dash for the stairs. We jumped into my car and made our way to the bridge. The faster I tried to drive, the slower the traffic went. Oh my god, was I going to make it? It took me almost an hour to get home. I pulled into the drive way on two wheels, jumped out the car, and ran to the front door in a panic. Once in the house, I ran to my safe, seventeen—right, thirty-nine left, nine—right! Shit! What’s the damn combination! It took me almost three minutes to get the damn thing open. I grabbed my passport and ran back to the car. I had thirty minutes to get to the airport and fifty-five minutes till take off. Lynn held on for dear life as I zipped in and out of traffic. I drove my car like my life depended on it, and it did. When we arrived at the airport twenty-two minutes later; Lynn was clearly shaken and sweating. I took my house keys off the ring, leaving the key to the ignition, and jumped out of the car. “It’s yours for the weekend if you want to drive it,” I said to Lynn.

That’s when it hit me! I don’t have any fucking luggage! No toothbrush, no underwear, no nothing! At that same moment I looked up and saw Toni walking toward me with a big smile on her face. I introduced her to Lynn and then turned to her with tears in my eyes. I didn’t have time to pack, I don’t have any clothes! Toni looked at me and gave me a big hug and said, “Don’t worry; I got you covered for the whole weekend.” She grabbed my arm, and we ran through the terminal like wild children. We had less than ten minutes to get our electronic tickets, get past the airport security metal detectors, and board our plane. We were going to make it! We were sweaty from all the running when we reached the gate. As we stepped on to the plane I remembered my fur-child Hobbs. So I used the phone when we were airborne to call Sean, to see if he would take care of Hobbs for the weekend. Sean laughed when I told him about the last-minute trip. He agreed to stay at the house and take care of Hobbs. He also agreed to call Dawn and Nia and let them know that I was in the Bahamas.

Toni and I talked and giggled as we sipped on our drinks. Then Toni surprised me and said, “Well, Haley, I know that I put you on the spot by calling you at the last minute, and I know you didn’t have time to pack. So I stopped by the bank, and made a little withdrawal. The only problem we might have is finding a hotel! Neither one of us made reservations, so we have to find one when we get there! I’ve never been here before, and I don’t know where we’re going to stay, but I don’t think that will be a problem. With that, Toni opened up her purse and showed me that her pocketbook was full of $100 bills, fifty of them in fact. I almost choked on my drink, and spilt the rest in my lap! “What the hell!” I said, all excited. “Shhhhh . . . Look girl, don’t say a thing, just enjoy the trip. Besides, I said I got you!” Toni said as she looked at me with a devilish grin and closed her eyes. Once the plane landed, we had to find a hotel. We made our way through the Bahamian customs line, then found an airport employee and asked about the islands hotels. We were advised that the taxi drivers would be the one to ask. So as we stepped out of the terminal, a white stretch limo pulled up and stopped right in front of us. “Where you beautiful ladies going tonight?” the driver asked. We told the driver about our dilemma, and he came up with the perfect solution. It took us no time to drive to the one of the island’s finest hotels. Toni insisted on nothing but the finest and requested the penthouse suite for our stay. Lady luck was on our side. The hotel clerk was able to accommodate us with our room request as well as give us a discount rate for our room.

There was no need for a bellman, we didn’t have any luggage! So we grabbed the keys from the receptionist and walked to our room like royalty. “This is the life for me!” Toni shouted as we looked around our room. “I would love to do this with my boyfriend, but sometimes we can’t even talk to each other like civil human beings,” she said to me sadly. We checked our makeup then headed for the nearest restaurant; we were starved. I ordered fried shrimp, and Toni ordered red snapper. After dinner, we went back to our hotel to have drinks around the pool area. Neither one of us could enjoy a midnight swim or soak in the poolside Jacuzzi; we didn’t have anything to wear. And no, we weren’t going skinny-dipping, at least not that night! So we settled for sticking our feet in and ordered a few rounds. Before retiring to bed, I washed out my thongs so I could have something clean to put on in the morning and drifted off to sleep while laying across my bed.

The morning sunrise was spectacular as I gazed at its magnificent beauty from my bedroom balcony. We got up around six-thirty and ordered breakfast on the terrace. After breakfast, we showered and dressed in yesterday’s clothes then headed into town to buy our wardrobe. We purchased clothes and other essentials for our weekend stay, underwear, toothbrushes shorts, tops, you name it, and we bought it. I can’t believe that I jumped on a plane with only my pocketbook and an American Express card. Shit, I should do a commercial for them! We shopped the better part of the morning and returned with enough clothes for a week. While I was hanging up my newly acquired wardrobe, I decide to check my voice mail and ended up calling Dawn, Nia, and Sean. They all said that Hobbs was fine, have a good time, and not to worry about anything. I thought about calling Kavon but quickly decided against it. In the meantime, Toni was engrossed with the hotel’s activity brochures and decided that she was going to plan some of our activities. We had four days of fun ahead of us, and we were ready to let our hair down.

The first thing we did after we got our clothes together was to hit the beach wearing our new sexy beachwear. The water was warm and calm, just what the doctor ordered! After a couple of hours of sunning ourselves to a golden brown color, it was time for lunch. We walked back to the pool area and rinsed off under the outdoor shower. Then we located two vacant chairs under a beautifully decorated cabana adjacent to the pool and ordered lunch. Toni and I couldn’t decide on what water sports we were going to do first; snorkeling, scuba diving, or jet skiing. Whatever it ended up to be, I was game for all the above.

I decided to take a dip in the pool and then relax by the hot tub. Meanwhile, Toni decided that she would take a walk around the hotel to see what amenities they offered. She made several inquiries about the water sports on the island and was introduced to a man who had a boat for hire. Nelson was the boat’s captain, a handsome Bahamian man, somewhere in his early forties. I don’t know how she found him so fast, but she did. Toni gave him a list of the water sports that she was interested in doing, and he assured her that he would be able to have all the necessary equipment. Within the hour, Toni was back to the pool area informing me of our afternoon adventure. At two forty-five, we met Nelson on the beach, and ten minutes later, we were off to sea. The first thing she wanted to experience was snorkeling. Nelson calmly instructed Toni on the concept of snorkeling and entered the water with her as I watched from the starboard side. Toni never told me that she couldn’t swim a lick! But I have to give it to her, that didn’t stop her from jumping in. She got in the water and gave the fish hell by thrashing around like she was in a water fight. She wrapped her legs and arms around Nelson as if she were a squid or octopus and held on for dear life. It took Nelson a good five minutes to get Toni to stop slashing around and to relax. She slowly let go of the death grip she had on Nelson’s arm and tried to mentally relax. I could tell that she was scared to put her face in the water, but she did her thing. After an hour of nervously bobbing up and down, she relaxed and went with the flow.

When I felt Toni was confident and comfortable enough to hang out in the water with Nelson, I strapped a tank on my back and jumped in. Even though it’s a no-no to dive alone, I couldn’t resist the beautiful water. I couldn’t get down with the snorkel thing after diving for almost ten years. I made sure not to stray too far from the boat or Toni especially since she couldn’t swim. Damn, she’s got a set of big brass balls, I thought to myself. After two hours in the water, Toni decided that she had had enough and wanted to try the Jet Ski that Nelson had tied to the boat. Nelson brought the boat a little inland then dropped anchor. Nelson jumped in the water first, and Toni followed. They made their way over to the Jet Ski, Toni clutched the sides as Nelson skillfully climbed on top then held out his hand for Toni. I watched as she climbed on the back and again apply the death grip on poor Nelson. After they got settled on the Jet Ski, they waved at me then took off. I walked to the stern of the boat, got comfortable on a lounge chair then grabbed a sandwich and a cold beer and watched the two of them jump the waves.

I was chugging down a mouthful of beer when I heard Toni scream. I guess they must have been going pretty fast because all of a sudden her wig flew off her head like a bird in flight! Beer came out of my nose, my mouth, and I think my eyes. I laughed so hard. In fact, I almost wet my shorts! Toni motioned for Nelson to stop and to circle over the area where her wig flew off. After several attempts and unable to locate anything but seaweed; it was clear to see that her wig was lost at sea. Nevertheless, Toni didn’t seem too upset, she held her head up high and motioned for Nelson to continue. They took off again, jumping wave after wave. Our day had been filled with everything it should have been, fun and sun. By the time we got back to the shore, Toni and I were not only exhausted, but also tanned to a dark golden brown. Personally, I prefer the dark golden brown skin tone especially when it’s accented with the exotic colors of the Caribbean. When we docked, we re-charted Nelson’s boat for the following day, paid him, and rushed back to our room to get ready for dinner.

Toni wore a white short set and wrapped her head in a colorful scarf. I dressed in a colorful Bahamian sarong two-piece set that showed off my midriff. We hailed a cab and headed for the Hotel Atlantis. The Atlantis hotel was of enormous size and beauty that was built not far from our hotel. “What a beautiful place,” we said in unison as the taxi pulled up to the front of the hotel. We ate at an awesome and scenic restaurant in the hotel; the entire wall of the restaurant was the aquarium, with all kinds of fish and marine animals of every size. After dinner, we walked around the hotel for more than an hour then decided to head back to our hotel. Toni was still full of energy and wanted to talk and have a nightcap by the pool before turning in. We ordered three rounds as we sat on the side of the hot tub and laughed about the day’s events. After our fifth drink, it was time for us to call it a night. We staggered into the hotel and made our way to the elevators laughing about her fly away hair. I showered and fell asleep before my head touched the pillow. While Toni stayed up and called her boyfriend.

The smell of the ocean and the sound of the waves woke me from a restful sleep. I got up and walked slowly into my private bathroom and showered. When I opened the door, I was greeted by the aroma of fresh coffee and pastries. I guess Toni heard me when I got up and ordered room service. It was the start of our second day in paradise and off to a perfect start. I decided to call Sean while I munched at the pastries, but I got no answer on his cell phone. So I opted on calling his office. His coworker answered his line and informed me that he had taken the day off. Never giving it another thought, I called Nia, no answer on her line either. Then I tried Dawn’s number. Well when Dawn answered the phone all I could hear was her yelling at the top of her lungs. “Fuck you, go to hell! Fuck you, motherfucker! Get your shit, and get the fuck out of my house and never come back!” I looked at the phone then at Toni. I don’t think Dawn realized that she had picked up the phone. So I hung up and called her on her house phone. “Who the fuck is this,” she yelled. I yelled back, “It’s me, Haley, what’s wrong?” She calmed down after she caught my voice and broke down crying on the phone. She calmed down enough to say, she wasn’t feeling well yesterday at work and decided to come home early. There were two unfamiliar cars in her driveway causing her to park hers on the street. As she walked around to the side door; she heard music playing from inside. She entered the kitchen and the smell of marijuana was so strong that it could have knocked her down. Then she noticed two empty bottles of wine on the table alongside a small mound of marijuana. She went from room to room looking to see who in the hell was in the house. When she opened the door to their theater room, she saw her husband Peter on his knees boning her so-called best friend William, while William was performing oral sex on a girl.

You could have knocked me over with a feather! I couldn’t believe my ears! I screamed and dropped the phone. Toni came running out of the bathroom to see if I was okay and to find out what happened. I was sitting on the side of my chair with my hands over my mouth. I was speechless and couldn’t say a word. I listened to her as Dawn went into detail about the sordid tale. After a good ten minutes, I couldn’t take it any longer; I had to hang up the phone. I told Toni about the conversation as we sat on the balcony and finished the pot of coffee.

All we could say for the next few hours was, that’s some shit! I hope she doesn’t kill his ass! I knew Dawn had suspected that her husband was out there fucking around, but damn! Not like that! And with William! Oh hell no! I think if she killed his ass, the jurors wouldn’t elect to convict her, they’d just accept her temporary insanity plea, I’m sure of that

Either way, I knew when I returned home I was going to be there for Dawn. Toni and I finished the pastries then dressed for day two of water play. Once again our day was spectacular! We did the same things as the day before and more. For some reason, Toni was hooked on the water sports, she snorkeled and I went scuba diving. She went jet skiing while I sunbathed and listened to music on the boat. We were living the life of the rich and famous and loving it!

Around 6:30 PM, we headed back to shore so we could relax and take a short nap before we made dinner plans. We thanked Nelson for another wonderful afternoon and tipped him a generous $150 for his personal attention. He helped us ashore, and gave both of us a strong hug and said good-bye. We gathered our things and made our way slowly to our room. We had been out there so long that I had gotten sunburned on my shoulders. Once in our room, I plopped down on the couch and turned on the TV to catch the last segment of the news while Toni went into her room and called home. “Shit! Thomas still isn’t answering the house phone or his cell phone,” Toni yelled through the door. She seemed calm and unconcerned when she exited her bedroom and plopped down on the couch beside me. I didn’t want to ask anything about her relationship with Thomas nor did I want to mention Dawn’s name for fear that she might think that situation could be happening in her household so I kept my mouth shut and finished watching the news. When it was over, I took a long hot bath in the whirlpool tub and called Sean as I wrapped my self up in a towel. Again no answer, so I called Nia. Nia answered on the third ring and told me to hold on while she let the cops out of the house. “What? Oh no! Now what? What the hell was going on in New York?” I didn’t know what to expect so I decided to light a cigarette, pour myself a double, and take a seat on the balcony. When Nia came back to the phone, she told me I was in for a long story and to make myself comfortable.

Nia said, “Sean had gone to the gym for his early morning workout; he ran a little late and in a hurry forgot his bag in the locker room. When he got to work at 7:00 AM; he called his girlfriend Monica and asked her if she had time to stop by his gym before she went to work and to pick up his gym bag. Monica agreed and picked up his bag from the gym around eight-thirty, placing it in the trunk of her car. Then she headed off to work. Two hours later, Sean called Monica at work and inquired about his gym bag. ‘Honey, it’s in the car,’ Monica replied. Sean insisted that she immediately go outside and to double check her truck for his bag. Again, Monica stated that the bag was safe in her car and questioned Sean about his concerns. Monica decided to appease his request and to check her truck for his bag, only to discover that the bag was missing from her trunk. The bag is gone, fuck! As she yelled at the top of her lungs! Monica forgot that her estranged ex-husband still had the keys to her car and was sneaky and pathetic enough to do something like this. Monica called Sean back and told him that the bag was missing from her truck. ‘I’m sorry, baby; I forgot that my bastard ex-husband, Neil still had keys to her car. That bastard!’ she yelled. ‘This time he’s gone too far!’ Monica yelled. Not only did Monica’s ex-husband have Sean’s driver’s license, he had his money, his credit cards and other important items such as bank account numbers that were also in his wallet. Monica was a wreck, and Sean was pissed off and ready to kick Monica’s ex-husband’s ass. Sean immediately left work and was on his way back to Long Island to file a police report when he received a call from a lady claiming to be the manager of a restaurant in Westbury. She stated that she was in possession of his gym bag. She said that two of her workers were sitting in their car on a break and observed a dark blue jeep driving suspiciously through the parking lot. The jeep pulled up to the dumpster that services her restaurant, and watched a male Hispanic exited the vehicle, looked around then throw a black duffle bag inside the dumpster. The man looked around again, got back in the jeep, and took off like a bat out of hell. The manager further stated that her employees exited out of the vehicle they were sitting in and retrieved the bag from the dumpster and brought it into the restaurant. The three of them looked inside the bag and discovered Sean’s wallet, containing his license, money, credit cards and other papers including his business cards. Thank goodness his business cards were in the bag and had his new cell phone number on it. I thought to myself. Sean exited off the Grand Central Parkway and headed towards her restaurant. My head was spinning, and I didn’t want to hear another word about this mess.” I told Nia that I had to hang up, because the long distance phone charge was expensive, and I would get a phone card and call her back later.

Holy shit! I had been gone for two day! Just two days and all hell was breaking loose in New York! I finished my drink, and then decided to reiterate the story to Toni when she came out of the bathroom. After reiterating the details of the story I needed another drink. By then it was close to 9:00 PM and we decided to go to the Poop Deck for dinner. The Poop Deck turned out to be one of my favorite restaurants in the Bahamas. The ambiance of the restaurant had a quaint and stylish atmosphere overlooking the water. I also give my compliments to the chef and to the rest of the staff and kudos to the waiters they’re cute as hell! Nice eye candy to look at while you eat! If you know what I mean! When we arrived at the restaurant we were seated at one of the last tables on the outside deck over looking the water. “How beautiful everything looks from here,” Toni exclaimed. “I need to get my mind off what’s going on in New York, and this will do just fine,” she said laughingly.

“There’s just too much drama back home for me,” I replied as I looked over the menu. “In fact, I’m almost afraid to go back home,” I said jokingly. As I looked up I noticed a handsome dark-skinned man standing next to Toni. He introduced himself as Julian and advised us that he was our waiter for the night. Julian was about thirty-one years old, maybe six feet and two inches tall and about 190 pounds of muscle with zero fat. We struck up a conversation with him as he waited on our table and ended up monopolizing most of his time. We talked so much with him, that we ended up being the last customers in the restaurant. Overhearing our conversation about looking for a dance club Julian offered to show us around the island since we were in search of adventure and good music. We were a little hesitant at first but quickly disregarded our doubts and accepted his invitation. We waited outside the restaurant for Julian to get off work and change his clothes, and then we were off. Julian took us to three popular clubs that the locals go to, one better than the last. We danced, talked and drank the night away. It had been a long time since Toni and I hung out together and had this much fun. By 6:00 AM we had to call it quits, my feet were throbbing, Toni couldn’t shake her hips another shake and Julian had to get some sleep so he could go to work that afternoon. When the three of us stumbled out of the last club we were blinded by the sunrise in the horizon. Julian drove us back to our hotel and walked us to our room; he kissed the two of us on the cheek then left. What a gentleman! Toni stated as she closed the door. It’s nice to know you can still go out with a guy, and he not ask or insist on pussy, because he spent a dollar on you. Toni said. I plopped down on my bed and began to rub my sore feet. Say, Haley, Toni said. I’m hungry, why don’t you call room service and order us some breakfast before we go to bed. I let go of my aching foot and reached for the phone and called the kitchen. Toni showered first while I waited on the balcony for our breakfast. Ten minutes later there was a knock at our door and our meal was being setup on the balcony. I was chewing with my eyes closed when Toni walked onto the balcony. After a cup of coffee and Danish, I was ready for a shower and a catnap.

We had one day left in the Bahamas and were already making plans to come back. Today was our beauty day, Toni had secretly arranged for us when we arrived at the hotel. We were scheduled for a facial, pedicure, manicure, and a massage to complete the weekend. We arrived for our appointment promptly at twelve-thirty and were ready for the overhaul. I started with the facial, and Toni started with a massage. We emerged four hours later, relaxed and limber as hell. It was all we could do to go back to the hotel and lounge by the pool the rest of the afternoon. This was our last night in the Bahamas Toni said sadly. It’s getting late so let’s get up and get ready to catch the booze cruise, she ordered. The boat left every night at 9:00 PM from a near by pier. Remembering that we had not eaten all day we grabbed a quick bite to eat at the hotel then got dressed. Toni put on a seductive low-cut black chiffon dress and cute little gold sandals and I slipped on a multicolored crepe halter and white skin tight slacks. The evening sky had a mysterious glow that cascaded from the full moon onto the water, which made the atmosphere enchanting. When we arrived at the pier, the partygoers were already boarding the party boat. We made our way up the gangplank, jumped aboard, grabbed two glasses of red wine, and looked for a table on the portside of the boat. Julian spotted us we made our way toward the center of the boat and motioned for us to join him on the upper deck.

Julian arrived at the pier early and reserved a table for us near the bow of the boat. He escorted us to our table and ordered a bottle of Bahama Mamma. As we toasted our glasses together the boat started to pull away from shore and music began to fill the air. I don’t think we got a chance to sit down for five minutes. The next thing I knew the boat was docked and they were escorting us off the boat. The night was still early so we opted to go to the casino and give lady luck a chance to make our night. We did all right, Toni won $2,500 and I cashed out with $950, and Julian was the biggest winner. He had the company of two beautiful women. Bahamian law does not allow, permit, or condone gambling for its native countrymen, and if caught doing so, they are imprisoned by the government. Imagine that! Toni and I cashed out our winnings while Julian waited for us in the lobby. We had already packed and had our luggage picked up by the bellman. We had three hours before we had to leave for the airport and decided to eat. Julian brought us to his house for breakfast, and we ate corned beef with a bowl of fish stew complimented by grits. Oh, we ate like pigs! We headed back to the hotel to check out and to pick up the rest of our things before heading to the airport.

When we arrived at the airport, he jumped out and walked us to the door. Julian turned to give Toni a kiss on the cheek and a big hug. Then he turned to me and asked me for my phone number. “Julian, you do know that I live in the United States, and the calls will be expensive,” I said. “I don’t care,” he said softly. So I wrote down my number on a piece of paper that he handed to me then placed it back in his hands. Then he gave me a tender, long and passionate kiss. “I’ll call you,” he said as I walked to the terminal with Toni. As I turned around to look at him one more time before I walked into the terminal, he blew me a kiss and waved good-bye then he drove off. One metal detector, two metal detectors, three metal detectors, four damn, airport security is crazy!

Our flight back to New York was fast, or maybe it felt like that because I didn’t want to leave the Bahamas; in no time, we were landing. Toni and I hugged and I thanked her a million times for a wonderful getaway. She jumped in a cab and rushed home. I on the other hand jumped in a cab and headed for my office. I had no idea where Lynn had parked my car in the underground parking lot of the state building. I entered the building, passed though the security checkpoint and then caught the express elevator to my floor. As soon as I entered my office I ran into my boss. “Good morning, Senator,” I said. He looked at me and smiled. “Haley, I heard that you went to the Bahamas for the weekend, and I want details,” he asked with a sly grin. I gave him a quick overview of my weekend then went into my office to locate my car keys and to make a few calls.

The first call was to Dawn; she answered on the second ring. “Hey girl, how are you? I came straight from the airport to work and called you right away. She stopped me in mid sentence and said. I don’t know if you heard, but I came home Friday early from work and found that motherfucker. Peter was in bed with William and a girl. Girl, I went crazy up in here! I think I blacked the fuck out! I went back in the kitchen, grabbed two bottles off the kitchen table and smacked that shit across the back of his head. Peter ended up with an orange-sized knot on the left side of his head. William should have a permanent dent in the back of his head from the other bottle and the bitch jumped up and got away before I could nail her with something,” Dawn said. We talked a few more minutes then I had to hang up. The senator and I were scheduled to attend a community board meeting in twenty minutes and I was his chauffer for the day. I grabbed my things and headed for the ladies room to take a quick shower. I had no time to spare and was dressed within 15 minutes. I walked out of the bathroom at the same time the senator was walking out of his office. He was putting on his jacket and giving last minute instructions to the receptionist. Phew, that was close, I thought to myself. He turned to me and his travel staff person and asked if we were ready to go. “Yes,” I replied and the three of us hurried out the door.

When we arrived at the meeting, I suggested that I stay in the car so I could make adjustments on my laptop and update his schedule for last minute changes. For the next two hours, I rearranged and updated his schedule and talked on the phone. My first was to Sean to get latest info update on his gym bag episode involving Monica’s ex-husband. Sean was at the barbershop and stated that he couldn’t talk, but would call me back. My next call was to Kavon. I wanted to touch base with him, maybe suggest dinner or even the movies, but he didn’t answer his cell phone, so I left a message.

The rest of the week was filled with meetings, appointments, luncheons, and speaking engagements that I either attended with the senator or arranged for him. Up to Albany, down to DC then back to New York. Damn, what a week! I was glad as hell when Friday rolled around. I finished work sometime around 10:30 PM and for some reason, wasn’t quite ready to go home. So I decided to change up my routine and go downtown to the club that night. The bouncers looked at me as if they couldn’t believe their eyes. “Hey, Haley, what are you doing here on a Friday night? It’s not Sunday night!” they asked. “I’m out slumming,” I replied. I paid my admission and made my way to the dance floor.

The music was all right, but nothing like Sunday nights. I was there maybe an hour before I decided to leave. On my way out the door, I saw one of my long time friends, Joey who is the head of security for the club. Joey walked with me outside and introduced me to the bouncers I didn’t know. “This is Jamie, Ali, Terrence, and Cory.” “What’s up, girl, you the one driving that fat Benz?” Jamie asked. “Yeah, that’s me,” I answered. I took a seat on the steps and talked with the guys until Joey was called on the walkie-talkie. As I stood up and announced to the guys that I was leaving. Cory jumped up and asked if he could walk me to my car. “No harm in that,” I replied and graciously accepted his offer. We walked up the block and around the corner to my car. I thought it was going to be a quick conversation, but it wasn’t, we talked at least an hour. Cory was a nice-looking brother; I’d say about thirty-five years old, six feet, and 235 pounds and built like a pro football player. The thing that attracted me most was he had a sexy smile. Before jumping in my car, he reached in his coat pocket and pulled out his business card that advertised that he was a personal trainer. Just then, I had a nasty perverted thought about Cory training me. Humph . . . I bet you he could train me too and laughed to myself. Cory turned to me and said he would like for us to be friends, and there was no pressure if I didn’t. I laughed and told him that I was the president of the He-Man Haters Club, and wasn’t looking for romance. Cory laughed and said that he wasn’t mad at me, and just wanted to get to know me a little better. I gave him a nod and told him that I would be back on Sunday for the real party, and then I drove off.

When I got to the corner, I opened my sunroof and looked up at the full moon. Damn, what was going on? In the short span of two months, I met Kavon, Julian, and now Cory. I didn’t know why, but men were coming at me hard. We’d have a connection, and then I’d lose interest after a conversation or two. My mind then drifted off to Kavon. Sometimes I’d have an uneasy feeling when I was around him. It’s hard to explain; it’s like my body is pushing me toward him one minute, and my brain is pulling me away the next. Besides, if he thinks that I’m gonna start sweating him when he doesn’t call or show up on time, like his other female friends, he’d better think again. At this point, I could drop him like a hot potato and never look back. Now as far as Cory, I’ll wait and get the low-down on him from Joey. By the time I finished analyzing my recent suitors, I was pulling into my driveway. I walked in the house, greeted Hobbs, and put him outside while I poured a glass of juice. It took Hobbs no time to do his thing outside and was back at the door waiting to come in. I grabbed two doggie cookies for Hobbs and my glass and headed straight for my bed.

Well, thank God, it was Sunday again, and I was ready to go back to the sanctuary and dance the night away. I found out that Cory wasn’t working that night so I didn’t have to worry about being sociable or distracted. The night was going to be about the dance and nothing but the dance. Joe was playing his ass off on the turntables and raising the spirits and mood of the crowd. As I entered the club, I heard screams and stomping coming from the dance floor. I made my way to the coat check and checked my duffle bag. I walked to the entrance of the dance floor, closed my eyes, and felt a sense of euphoria consume my body. As the music took control over my body, I stepped onto the floor and made my way over to my favorite spot on the dance floor. Gwen McCrae was singing “Funky Sensations” and had my hips swaying to the grove. When out of nowhere, this dark-skinned man danced his way into my space. I tried to focus my eyes on his face, but it was obscured by the baseball cap that he was wearing. He grabbed me by the waist and spun his body around and began to grind his body so seductively I stopped dead in my tracks. From what I could see, this man was fucking gorgeous and letting me have it! He grabbed me by my waist and pulled me close to his body as he twisted and shook his body close to mine! I pushed away and spun around. He again grabbed me by the waist, this time pressing his body against mine and began to spank my ass to the beat of the music. Before I knew it, we were doing what one would interpret as the vertical mumbo without clothes on! Take away the clothes, and you’d swear that we were fucking! I rubbed my hands over his muscular chest and down his thighs as he grabbed my hips and gyrated against me. We were out of control!

The music slowed down, and he held me close, caressing my body with the tenderness and gentleness it was craving for. He empowered my body with his and had me anxiously yearning for more. I placed my head against his chest in an attempt to regain control. He made me horny and intimidated the shit out of me at the same time. I couldn’t take it anymore and pulled away from him and walked off the dance floor. I was a wreck! I couldn’t believe that this man, this total stranger intimidated me on the dance floor like that! I made my way through the crowded floor and walked to the ladies’ room to wash my face. As I looked at myself in the mirror, I shook my head in disbelief. I couldn’t believe that this guy made me nervous, and sent chills up and down my spine; then made me walk off the dance floor before the song was over! It took me a few minutes to get myself together and walked back on the dance floor. When I did, he was dancing in the same spot and sucking on a lollipop. He looked at me with a devilish smile and made a sexual gesture to me with the lollipop. He laughed at my facial expression and walked up to me, nose to nose! That did it! I turned around and walked off the floor again, this time in a cold sweat! What the hell is going on with me? I asked myself. This never happen to me before, what the hell was going on with me? This man had unnerved my cool calm demeanor, and he knew it! He did it with confidence and elegance, and I couldn’t let him get away with it. So I got up my nerves again and marched back on the dance floor to set the record straight. Only to find out he was gone! I looked around the dance floor, then around the VIP room, but he was no where to be found. My mystery man had vanished! No name, no phone number, and no nothing! I had only a face and a beautiful smile to remember.

All week long I dreamed about this man. I couldn’t get him out of my mind and thought about him day and night. I told my friends and coworkers about this mystery man and how he worked my nerves on the dance floor. As a joke, I decided to nickname him Chocolate Man because of his dark sexy complexion. From that point on, nothing or no one else would peak my interest but him. Even when Kavon called midweek, I was a little standoff-ish and ready to end our friendship before it started, so to speak. Sensing my nonchalant attitude, Kavon suggested that I go for a ride to the beach then stop off somewhere for dinner with him. I had nothing else planned for the evening so I accepted his offer.

I was upstairs in the bathroom when I heard a loud roar in front of my house and looked out the window to see what all the commotion was. It was Kavon on a red and black Suzuki motorcycle! Girls, girls, girls, I was back in heaven! Not only did this man have a bad ass Mercedes, he also had a motorcycle! I have always had a thing for bikes since I was little. My father purchased a motorcycle during my senior year in high school, and I pestered him to death to teach me how to ride, and he did, but I never bought one for myself. Now here comes Kavon with a bike, and I’m sure the desires to buy one will probable come back. Anyway, Mr. Kavon Emory might work out after all, and if not he’ll be a suitable distraction that I need till I find my mystery chocolate man. I ran down the stairs and swung open the front door. He looked at me and smiled with a devilish grin as he walked through the door. “I like what you’re wearing, but I need you to change your clothes,” he said. “I need you to coordinate your outfit to match mine; it’s a bike thing,” he stated. So we went upstairs to my bedroom so I could find the appropriate attire for the occasion. I grabbed a pair of black jeans, a red midriff top, and my black timberlands. He liked the outfit so much, that we almost didn’t make it out of my bedroom.

After ten minutes of fondling each; we decided to cut it short and to head downstairs, or we wouldn’t be going anywhere. Kavon asked me if I had a jacket to put on. So I grabbed my black leather jacket from the hall closet as Kavon headed out the door. “Have you ever been on a motorcycle before? He asked, as he un-strapped the spare helmet off the backseat. “Yes,” I replied. “I use to ride with my dad all the time.” “Okay, so you know how to move with someone?” he asked. I looked up and smartly replied. “Haven’t I shown you that already?” I said and laughed. “Well, since this was the first time you’re riding with me, I still need to tell you my rules of the do’s and don’ts while riding as my passenger,” Kavon said with a serious face. He explained how to mount, dismount, and how to sit on the bike. Then he explained what I should do if when he took a corner or sharp turn. I patiently listen and smiled to myself. I was entrusting my safety to this man and impressed that he showed concerned for my safety and welfare unlike some of the guys I’ve ridden with. He placed the helmet on my head, tightened the straps under my chin, and handed me a pair of gloves for my hands. Then he put on his helmet then his gloves then zipped up his jacket. He got on the bike first and when he was ready he motioned for me to get on. I placed my arms tightly around his waist, leaned my body close to his, and we were off. We jumped on to the Southern State Parkway headed toward the city. We zipped in and out between cars and vans with little or no effort. Eighty, ninety, a hundred and forty miles an hour on the straight a ways; in the matter of a blink of an eye! Damn, this bike’s fast, I thought to myself. We ended up at Coney Island, and everyone and anyone who had a bike was there. In fact, it looked a lot like Bike Fest in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Bikes were everywhere! There were Ducatis, Aprillias, Kawasakis, Suzukis, BMWs and Harleys. Men, women, blacks, Spanish, whites, young and old; you name it, they were out there.

Kavon zigged and zagged down the street until he recognized a few of his friends. He tooted his horn at his friends then made a U-turn and looked for a spot to park the bike. He backed in between two cars and turned off the motor. I slipped off the bike and pulled off my jacked and helmet while Kavon secured a lock on the front wheel. When he finished, he smacked me on my ass and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Then we made our way through the crowd to meet up with is friends and greeted them with handshakes and hugs. Everyone seemed to be enjoying the sights and sounds of the beach. After a while, the guys decided to take a ride to Manhattan. Kavon and I walked with his friends to their bikes and watch them get suited up. His friends pulled out of their parking spaces and lined up two by two in front of where we were parked. They gave each other the high sign and sped off down Coney Island Avenue in unison. Kavon and I grabbed a frank from Nathan’s then took a stroll on the boardwalk before returning to his bike. It was damn near ninety-eight degrees outside and hot as hell! After a half hour or so, we headed back to the bike and decided to go back to my house to finish what we had started earlier. Damn, the ride home was exhilarating! What a rush! It was like I could feel my pulse rushing through my body or better yet; like I had gulped down ten cups of espresso all at once.

I couldn’t wait to get home, besides my legs and ass was sore, and my back was starting to bother me. So when we Kavon pulled into my driveway, I eagerly jumped off as soon as it was safe to do so. He pulled the bike behind the gate and came into the house after he locked up the bike. “How did you like the ride?” he asked. “I loved it, but my body didn’t,” I said as I rubbed my legs. “You’ll get used to it,” he said as he took off his jacket and placed it on the back of the kitchen chair. He walked up to me, kissed me on the neck then started to massage my sore arms and back. “Come with me, I know just the remedy for those sore muscles,” then gently took me by the hand and escorted me up the stairs to the bathroom. He undressed me slowly and then himself. As he slipped off his pants, he reached into his wallet and pulled out a condom and placed it strategically on the edge of the tub. As we stepped into the shower he reached for the soap and washed my body from head to toe. Then he bent down and lifted my leg as high as he could and began to massage my clitoris with his tongue as the water cascaded off of my shoulders. When I reached my climax, he stood up and placed my back against the wall and reached for the condom. He fumbled with the condom for a second then entered me with such force that he almost lifted me off my feet. There was nothing gentle about his movements, it was clear that he wanted to fuck and not make love! His moans became louder as his thrust became harder. He whispered in my ear that he had been holding his come all day and had to get it out. He finally let out a scream and let my leg down as his body shivered against mine. We stood under the shower and held each until the water started to get cold. Then we rinsed off and stepped out of the shower. As Kavon dried off and gathered up his clothes, I slipped on my bathrobe pulled out the baby oil. We walked into the bedroom; plopped on the bed and fell asleep. About a half hour later, I woke up to Kavon rubbing his hands over my back. He turned me over and made love to me again. Around 9:00 PM, we woke up to the buzzing of his cell phone. I guess the search for him was on. I laughed to myself and sauntered into the bathroom to freshen up. When I came out, Kavon was dressed and still on the phone. He looked at me like he wanted me to keep quiet while he finished his conversation. When he finished his ever-so-intense conversation, he said that he had to go and would call me later. He kissed me on the lips then dashed down to the stairs and out the back door. By the time I reached the bottom step, he was closing the door and ready peel out of the driveway. To tell you the truth, I think he was in for baby mama drama! Oh well, he’s got to handle that problem all on his own! Anyway, I’m not down with it, and if it should come my way, I’ll get rid of him. I walked back up the stairs, ripped the sheets off the bed, and replaced them with a fresh set, then got back in bed.

Hobbs woke me up fifteen minutes before my alarm clock went off. Damn, I had a good nights sleep, I thought to myself as I let Hobbs out. I made a cup of coffee and set out fresh water and food while watching the morning’s news. Since I was up, I decided to leave for work a little early in hopes to beat some of the morning traffic. Well, I guessed wrong. The drive to work was long and hectic due to the numerous roadway construction crews and half-asleep slow-ass drivers. After fighting the traffic for over an hour, I was sitting at my desk scheduling and confirming the senator’s weekly appointments. Around eight-thirty, I decided to give a quick call to Cory to see what he was up to. He answered the phone on the second ring with a deep sultry and sexy voice. Boy, if he only knew that his voice sent chills up my spine and made me squirm in my seat! We didn’t get a chance to talk long because my boss walked into my office inquiring about his daily briefing. So I quickly rushed Cory off the phone and promised to call back when I had more time to talk. My morning schedule consisted of seven back-to-back meetings with the senator before 3:00 PM. Then I had to make sure the senator’s travel staff had all the necessary paperwork needed for the hearings he was presiding over. By 6:30 PM, the senator and his travel staff were on their way to Albany for the next four days. Near exhaustion, I leaned my head back in my chair and began to reminisce about Jordan. Then my thoughts fast forwarded to that mysterious man I danced with in the club. It was sometime after 9:00 PM when I left work. I was mentally drained, and needed to release my stress, so I packed up my briefcase and headed for gym before going home. I arrived at the gym shortly before 10:00 PM and set out to put in an hour or two before going home. I needed to put in an hour of cardio in, so I switched between the elliptical machine and the stationary bike. Then I switched off to stomach crunches, leg lifts and finished off my workout with a couple of laps in the pool before calling it quits. I was determined to keep this body in shape and worked at it every chance I could.

For the next two weeks, my schedule was back to its regular routine and moving at a steady pace. I went to work, the gym and the club on Sundays. For the next five consecutive Sundays, I scouted the club for my mystery man with no results. Then on the sixth week, almost as soon as I walked to the edge of dance floor I spotted his handsome face from across the crowed room. Oh shit! It’s him! This time I was prepared for what ever came my way. I took a deep breath and danced my way though the crowd in his direction. I was trying to act nonchalant and pretend that I didn’t recognize him. I looked at him with a straight face hoping that he would remember me, and he did! He stopped dancing with his friends danced over to me, gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek then motioned for me to swing my hips against his. Oh was I ever excited! Shit, I was so worked up. Damn, he really is cute, I said to myself. If he made a move on me, I certainly was going to give him a chance to get it! But first, I have to find out his name. Well, he must have had the same idea because as soon as that idea popped into my head, he asked me my name. Shit, the music was so loud; I couldn’t hear what he had said. So after asking him six times to repeat his name, I felt stupid and stopped asking him, what his name was!

So again I danced with the nameless chocolate man. We danced the same way, we did the first night we met, bumping, grinding, and sweating; it felt like deja vu. We danced at least two hours before we took a break. He headed in the direction of the bar, and I excused myself and walked to the ladies’ room. When I returned to the dance floor to continue my bump and grind with chocolate man. I noticed the house lights were flickering on and off and the club’s security were walking onto to floor. After frantically looking around the floor, I observed my mystery man, my chocolate man; walking away from the coat check line with his coat and heading toward the exit door. Shit! I couldn’t get past the crowd fast enough to stop him and I couldn’t call out to him because I didn’t know his name and refused to yell out hey you! By the time I made it to the coat check line, it was twenty people deep. I couldn’t wait, I had to get my things and fast! So I pushed my way to the front of the line and passed a $5.00 bill along with my ticket to the next person. “Please would you take my ticket, I have to get out of here,” I said softly. The guy looked up and gladly took my money and ticket and passed it to the attendant. It took a few minutes to get my things and when I did, I ran thru the crowd and waved at the club’s security as I reached the front door.

I looked down the street I spotted chocolate man and his friends heading down the street toward Hudson Street. Luckily, my car was parked across the street from the club; I jumped in and headed for the corner. I noticed him entering the grocery store on the corner so I pulled up to the front door and parked my car. Perfect, I said to myself. I fumbled around inside scrounging up loose change to purchase a bottle of water and bag of chips. After counting out $3.00 in loose change, I was set and shut off the ignition. As I reached for the door handle, chocolate man was walking out of the store. He looked at me then my car and flashed those pearly whites at me and walked over to my car leaving his friends. “Did you enjoy yourself this evening?” he asked. “I sure did, how about you?” I replied. He laughed and gave me a devilish grin. “As a matter of fact, when I get a chance to get out and come to the club I look for you. I like how we dance together,” he said. I felt kinda silly to have a conversation with this guy and not to know his name. I figured if he gave me his number, he would not only write his number but also his name! So I played it cool and acted like I was in the know. Then he bombarded me with a series of questions. Was I single, was I dating anyone, where I lived? Then, just as fast as he asked the questions; he flipped the script and volunteered his personal info to me. He told me that he was an architect, owned his own business, and was single. He also stated that he lived uptown and in the same sentence asked if I would go out to dinner with him? I replied to his invitation. Yes! We noticed that his friends were getting impatient and starting to walk off. He turned to me and asked me for my phone number. I reached into my car and pulled out a pen and piece of paper to jot down my number. Then I handed him some paper to jot his number down. Call me Tuesday, and maybe we can set something up for this weekend.” He said. He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and a long hug then rushed down the street to catch up with his friends. I ran in the store, purchased a bottle of water and some chips and walked back to the car to program his number in my phone. I turned on the ignition, reached for my phone, and turned on the interior light. I unfolded the paper and gazed at it in amazement, I could read the phone number, but he wrote his name in hieroglyphics! What the fuck! I pulled out my glasses and that didn’t help, then I turned on all the interior lights; and I still couldn’t make out. Damn, I still didn’t know his name! Well, I figured that when he called on the following Tuesday I could play it off and he would never know the difference. So I tucked the paper safely in the glove compartment and made my way home.

The following day the World Trade Center was bombed and New York City was in shambles! No phone service, train service was suspended, and the roadways were a disaster! It was nonstop chaos all over the city and all over America. When the phone service resumed, I called family members and friends, making sure everyone was accounted for and those who I didn’t call called me. I contemplated on calling Jordan, to see if he was okay but took the chicken way out and e-mailed him and prayed that he was okay. Two days later, Jordan responded with what seemed to be a generic response, “Thanks for being concerned I’m okay,” and that was it. Well, at least he was alive and okay, I thought to myself. After hearing about the thousands who were missing, my thoughts turned to Chocolate Man, and I picked up the phone to call his number but the call never went through. Was he okay? Was he hurt? I refused to have negative thoughts about him and prayed for his safety.

A couple of days later as I was stepping out of the tub, I received a call from Cory. “Hey Haley, I was reaching out to my friends and thought of you. I know you work all over the city, are you all right? Were you anywhere near the World Trade Center when it went down?” he asked. “Thanks for thinking about me, Cory,” I replied. “No, I was home when the towers went down, and as far as anything else, I’m surviving. Look, I’m just getting out of the tub, and I’m dripping wet, do you want to hold on or should I call you back? I’ll hold on if you don’t mind, my phone has been acting kind of funny after the bombing,” he replied. So, I put the phone down and dried off. It took me a couple of seconds to get myself together and return to his call.

Cory confessed to me that he had been eyeing me for the past couple of months and was unsure if he should approach me or not. Then out of the blue, he asked me out on a date. Shit, that’s what I was afraid of, I thought to myself. Maybe some other time, some other place but not now! I had just set my mind and heart on being alone again and didn’t want to be let down or disappointed again by a man looking for someone on the down low. “Look Cory,” I replied, “I’ll accept your invitation on one condition. I’m not interested in dating, and we could only go to dinner as friends. I’m kind of interested in someone, and I don’t want to do anything behind his back, and if it doesn’t work out with us. I am going to take a break from men for a while.” “So please don’t get any ideas and try to change my mind if that should happen,” I asked. Cory laughed and said that he would try to respect my decision, but wouldn’t guarantee that he wouldn’t be tempted to change my mind. Then he decided to make small talk and told me about himself.

Cory told me that he was a Sagittarius, born December 1 and had a five-year-old daughter and broke up with her mother two years ago, and he hasn’t dated anyone seriously since. Besides he doesn’t have time to date, since he works two jobs. Then he dropped a bombshell on me. He said that he still lived at home with his parents and younger brother and doesn’t plan on moving out. What’s going on? What happened to independent living? I don’t understand. How does a grown man bring a girl home and expect her to give up the goodies while his parents and little brother are in the house? Why are men so lazy? They no longer have the ambition to move out of the house and find an apartment of their own. For the life of me, I don’t understand why men feel like they don’t have to get their own shit anymore! In saying that, I guess men don’t think they should be our providers anymore. In fact, a lot of guys I know only date females that have their own houses and apartments and move in with them. Anyway, this confirms my original statement to Cory, we can only be friends and as far as going to his house, that’s out of the question. And as far as coming over to my house and getting comfortable, well that’s out of the question!

Right in the middle of my thoughts, I heard Cory’s voice. “Haley, are you still there?” I replied. “Oh, I’m sorry, Cory, something caught my attention, and I wasn’t paying attention.” Cory didn’t get the hint and kept on talking. In fact, he started to pour it on thick and told me that when I came to my senses that I was going to be his girlfriend!

Oh well, I had my sights set on my Chocolate man anyway I thought to myself. Even though when I first met Cory, there was a moment when I might have considered him as a possible suitor. Even though our hours didn’t mesh, he would always take the time to call me. In fact, I remember him saying to me that no matter what, someday I was going to be his woman and the sooner I realized it, the faster he could restore my faith in men. He would say things like; I don’t care how long it takes me, I’m going to get you out of the he-man haters club. He would give me endless compliments like you’re so smart, intelligent, independent, beautiful, sexy, and sensual, and you’re everything I would want in a woman. In turn, I would tell him to take it down a notch and remind him that I was thinking about taking a break from the dating seen. Cory told me not to worry; he would wait for me to get out of that damn man haters club. We had been on the phone for nearly an hour and it was getting close to the time he had to pick up his daughter. So he reluctantly agreed to end our conversation and said goodnight.

I sat on the side of the bed and decided that I needed a quick getaway. Air travel had resumed shortly after the WTC attack and airfares were at an all-time low. My boss would be in Albany for the next ten days, I didn’t have anything pressing to do at work, so I took advantage of him not being in the office and booked a flight and hotel reservations for Las Vegas. Once that was done, I jumped in bed. I tossed and turned all night.

I kept having visions of my chocolate man. I still hadn’t heard from him, and I still get through to him on his phone. Finally after tossing and turning for hours, I drifted off to sleep. I woke up before my alarm clock went off with hornies like you couldn’t imagine! I was wet and juicy. So I got up, put on a porn DVD on, pulled out my vibrator, and dildo. I began to gently squeeze my breast. Then I turned on my vibrator on high, closed my eyes, and envisioned my mystery man lying on my bed as I licked and sucked his body. Then I began to rub my fingers over my stomach and played with piercing. Ahhh, the sensations were getting stronger. My fingers moved up and down over my clitoris causing me to moan and squirm. I took my dildo and inserted it deep inside me, imagining that it was chocolate man. I grabbed a pillow I tightened my thighs, and I began to sweat and shake. I relaxed my body and moved the vibrator on to my stomach to prolong my pleasure and intensify my orgasm. Sweat began to form all over my body, and I could feel the sensations getting stronger. It had been a long time since I had an orgasm, and this was going to be a good one! I gently pulled the dildo out and rubbed it on my breast and relaxed my body. I reached for the vibrator again and turned up on high. As the sensations grew stronger, visions of Jordan’s face flashed in my mind as I released my orgasm. Over and over again, I released multiple orgasms with thrusts and screams. When there was nothing left, I switched off my “T 1000” and lay motionless on the bed. After resting a few minutes, I was ready for round two. This time, I took the vibrator and placed it in my mouth, pretending that it was Jordan. I turned the vibrator on high and screamed, as my body jerked and shook from the vibrations of my vibrator.

What an orgasm! I hadn’t had an orgasm like that in weeks! And all I knew was I wasn’t satisfied with just one or two. So for the next two hours, I did this over and over envisioning both Jordan and then chocolate man. I think I had a total of eight orgasms before I fell off to sleep. Before I knew it, my alarm clock was going off. I was exhausted, but straight and able to face the world another day. I slowly wobbled my way into the bathroom. I couldn’t stand to straight because my legs were still weak. I brushed my teeth while I sat on the side of the tub. Then I popped in a stick-up (a vaginal cleaning insert) then showered. I watched the morning news as I dressed, fed Hobbs, and let him out, then headed out the door feeling like a new person.

Even though I was still a little light-headed from the multiple orgasms, I jumped in my car and made my way through the traffic effortlessly. I arrived at work around eight-thirty and immediately started revising my days schedule when Cory called. “Good morning, Haley,” Corey said. “I have to take care of some business in Manhattan today. I’m not sure, but I think I should be finished early. Do you think you can take a break around two?” “Let me check my appointment book, hold on,” I said in a nonchalant tone. I placed him on hold and did a dance around the office. Before I picked up the phone I regained my composure and cleared my throat. “Hello, Cory,” I said in my best business voice, “I should be free around that time. Do you want to meet me halfway or do you want to pick me up from my office?” “Where exactly in Manhattan is your office,” he asked. “Cory, I work uptown, Lenox and 125 Street,” I stated. Hesitantly, he responded, “Well, that’s kinda far for me to travel, if it’s okay with you, would you meet me halfway?” I cleared my throat and said, “Sure, no problem, in fact you just gave m an idea.” So I told Cory about a Mexican restaurant in midtown that I frequent regularly and he agreed to meet me there. Around one-thirty, I informed my coworkers of my lunch date and gave them the name of the restaurant just incase an emergency arose. I hopped on the train and was in midtown within ten minutes. Cory had already arrived and was already seated when I walked in. His face lit up with excitement when I walked over to the table. He stood up and greeted me with a kiss on the cheek and extended his arms to greet me with a bear hug. “Damn, girl, you dress like that for work? Damn, am I over my head or what? Never the less I’m impressed with that corporate flair you have going on.”

I laughed and said, “You have to keep this part of my life a secret. Cory, as you can see I lead a double life,” and smiled. I had on a navy blue cotton-tailored suit, with an off white off the shoulder top, navy pumps, and my hair was pinned up in a bun. Corporate down! It was defiantly a big change from my casual club attire. Cory and I laughed all throughout lunch. He was full of stories, and before we new it, two hours had passed, I had to go back to work. I kissed him on the cheek, and thanked him for lunch then headed back to my office.

After having such a wonderful and entertaining lunch, I decided to give Cory a quick call and thank him again for a wonderful lunch again. Only to find out that his cell phone had been disconnected. Damn, Cory needs to take care of his business, I thought to myself. How could he possibly expect me to take him seriously and date him? Damn, Cory can’t even keep his phone on, and he’s out trying to impress me with lunch, I thought to myself. The brother’s got to get his priorities straight! I finished up my day around 6:30 PM and gathered my things, locked up, and alarmed the front door then headed home. Out of nowhere, my thoughts shifted from work to Jordan, and I began to cry while sitting at a red light. I pulled over and contemplated on whether or not I should call him. I also thought about driving past his building, but decided to do neither. It would be just my luck for him to be out walking with his girlfriend and the baby and see me in the vicinity. I didn’t want him to think I was stalking him or obsessed. I knew I had too much pride to make a fool of myself, so I dried my eyes and continued to head home.

I was on the Grand Central Parkway fast approaching the Cross Island Parkway when Kavon called. “What’s up, Shortie, are you home from work? And by the way, got plans for later, he asked?. “No, I’ll be home shortly, but I do have a couple of things that I have to take care of, but I should be finished around eight o’clock,” I replied. “Okay, I’ll come by later,” then he hung up. As I pulled into my driveway, I noticed Sean’s car was parked in front of my house. I unlocked the front door and walked into the kitchen where I found Sean and Monica seated at my kitchen table. “Did we have plans that I forgot about?” I asked. They turned around and looked at me as if they were about to commit murder. Sean told me to have a seat while Monica reached for three glasses, grabbed a bottle of wine that was chilling in the refrigerator popped the cork and poured.

“Okay, Okay, the suspense is killing me, what the hell is going on?” I asked. Monica looked at me and said, “Don’t say anything until I tell you what happen today, please.” Then with a straight face she said that she was going to kill her ex-husband. I took a long sip of the wine, lit a cigarette, and kicked off my shoes and listened quietly. Monica also took a sip of wine then began her story. “This fucker must be watching my house. He’s either hiding out in the bushes or in a car down the block watching the house. Earlier this afternoon, Sean came by my house to pick me up and we went shopping then to the movies. Sean was in my house no longer than fifteen minutes and when we came out. His car was spray painted with white paint and mine was spray painted with red paint!” I looked at both of them then took a long swallow of my wine. I couldn’t say a word, what could I say! At least he didn’t bust out the windows and flatten the tires, I thought to myself.

Just then the doorbell rang, I got up and looked out of the dining room window and saw Kavon’s car parked across my driveway. I yelled from the kitchen for him to come on in and join us. Kavon slowly opened up the screen door and made his way into the kitchen. He introduced himself to Sean and Monica and then sat next to me on the breakfast nook. “Am I interrupting something?” he asked. “No,” Monica answered as she reached into the cabinet for another glass. “We’re trying out some new wine, have a glass.” About a half hour later, Sean and Monica decided that they were hungry and decided they were going to grab something to eat. “You guys want to join us?” Sean asked. Kavon and I looked at each other and shook our heads then declined their invitation. So without saying another word, Monica stood up, reached for her pocketbook as Sean shook Kavon’s hand good-bye. After they left Kavon and I took it upstairs to my bedroom. He sat on my big oversized chair and watched TV as I finished packing for my trip to Las Vegas. I had just finished zipping my bag when Kavon said he had something important to talk to me about. He stood up and lifted my suitcase off the bed then motioned for me to sit down next to him. “Haley, how about us taking a trip somewhere?” he asked. I smiled and said, “Sure, where do you want to go?” “I don’t know, Kavon replied. I’ll tell you what, why don’t you check out some places on the Internet, while I fix us something to eat I said. I turned around and showed Kavon into my office and I went downstairs to make us a couple of sandwiches. When I returned upstairs he had booked us a week in the Bahamas. We called it an early evening, showered and fell asleep in each other’s arms.

The sound of my automatic sprinklers woke me up around 4:40 AM. I got up and took a shower, applied my makeup, and dressed while Kavon lay fast asleep in my bed. I let Hobbs out and was almost finished making breakfast when I heard Kavon coming down the stairs. “Why didn’t you wake me up?” he asked. “I got up early and didn’t think it was necessary to wake you up so early.” He smiled and reached for the refrigerator and poured himself a glass of juice. We ate breakfast then headed for the airport. Have a great family reunion Kavon said as he dropped me off at the terminal. Then he headed for his office. I made my way through the series of airport screeners and walked slowly toward my departure gate. Within in the hour, I was airborne and Las Vegas bound. Just before we landed, the pilot made an announcement over the PA system. “Welcome to Las Vegas, the current temperature is 107 in the shade, and may you all have a pleasant stay.” Damn, I’m going to get black as a piece of coal, I thought to myself. I stepped off that nice air-conditioned plane and into the oven of Vegas. “Damn, it’s hot as hell out here,” I said out loud as I pulled my carry-on suitcase through the terminal.

When I exited the terminal, I spotted my cousins Butch and Ralph from Maryland at the end of the platform looking for me to exit through the doors. I waved to them and walked in their direction. Welcome to Las Vegas they said in unison as they greeted me with kisses and hugs. Butch threw my suitcase in the trunk and Ralph jumped behind the wheel and we headed down the strip. Butch and Ralph had flown in to Vegas two days earlier and checked into the Mirage Hotel. Then Butch informed me that he met with the manager of the hotel and arranged for a whole wing of the hotel to be set aside for the other ninety-two family members who had arrived the day before me. Damn, that’s great, to have all of our rooms on the same floor. Las Vegas was all of that and a bag of chips! It’s truly all about the nightlife! Nonstop go!

For the next four days, it was fun in the sun with ninety-two of my crazy relatives! During the day, we would break up into groups. Some of us would spend the morning at the hotel pool or go sightseeing. The others would try out their luck at the casinos or taking in one of the many shows. At night, we ate together in one of the reserved dining rooms and cut it up! All in all, I had a great time seeing my long lost relatives. I tell you, family reunions are great! Well, before I knew it, my five days were up, and I was back on a plane, this time with fifty-six of my family members. Now can you imagine how these folks acted up on the plane after four days in Las Vegas? Shit, as they say, what goes on in Vegas, stays in Vegas! My mouth is zipped. Our plane landed at Kennedy Airport around 10:30 PM, and as we made our way to the collect our luggage at the baggage area, we kissed and hugged each other good-bye. As I turned around to say good-bye to my aunts, I spotted Kavon standing near the end of the baggage area gate holding a bouquet of flowers in his hands. I rushed over to him and gave him a big hug. We waved to the rest of my luggage retrieving relatives and grabbed my bags and walked out of the terminal hand in hand. When we reached his car, he whispered in my ear that he wanted to make love to me, and if I didn’t hurry up, he would pull over on the shoulder of the parkway and get in the backseat! I laughed at the thought and jumped in the car. Thank goodness, the ride home was fast because as we pulled in front of my house, I was already half undressed!

I opened the front door and was greeted by Hobbs. “Hi Hobbie, I missed you!” I said excitedly. I gave him a big hug and gave him a treat. Hobbs jumped around the room then motioned for me to let him outside. As I closed the back door, Kavon was bringing the last of my luggage in from the car. At that point, we didn’t waste any time, right there on the couch we made love. We woke up sometime around midnight and decided to go for a ride on his bike. Kavon dressed and went home to drop off his car and to pick up his bike. When he returned, I was dressed and ready to go. We jumped on the parkway and headed toward the city. We ended up on Sixth Avenue in the west village and walked around and ended up at a little jazz club off Seventh Avenue. We listened to music for about an hour then decided to take the long way home. We zipped around the traffic on the West Side Highway and slowed down when we traveled across town on 125th Street. After the riding the various parkways toward Long Island, we were back at my house. Kavon seemed a little distracted and opted to go home.

The next two weeks were uneventful. I went to work, to the gym, and the club on Sunday evenings. While at the club, I continued to search through the crowd for my mystery man, but he was nowhere to be found. Had something happen to him? I prayed he wasn’t one of the missing persons associated with the World Trade Center attack. In fact, I said a prayer every night for his safety. Sometimes I would dream about dancing with him, I could see his face and feel his touch, but I couldn’t open my eyes, and when I did wake myself up, I could feel his presence. Deep down in my heart I knew that he was okay and that I would see him one day soon.

The weeks and days zipped by and the next thing I knew, it was the day before my trip to the Bahamas with Kavon. I walked in the house around 4:00 PM to find Hobbie fast asleep on the back porch. I gave him fresh water and food then played with him outside till dark. I had a few last minute things to take care of before I went to bed. So I zipped up my bags and carefully lugged it down the stairs. I picked up my keys and then headed to the grocery store to pick up a few things to stock up in the refrigerator and some goodies for Hobbie. Then I shot back home to finish packing a few odds and end in my pocketbook. Kavon called around nine-thirty and said that he would be over around eight o’clock with his bags and that he would spend the night with me. Well, it was well after twelve o’clock in the morning when he called again. “Shortie,” he said, “I’m real sorry. I didn’t mean to be out this late. I stopped by a friend’s house and ran into a couple of my boys. We started watching the fight on HBO and I got caught up in the moment. I’ll be home in a little while. I still have to finish packing my things. He explained I held my breath and said okay, then hung up the phone and cursed him under my breath.

I was getting pissed, but too tired to react. I rolled over and went back to sleep. Around three o’clock my alarm clock went off, and I got up took a quick shower. Hump, still no Kavon! What the hell was going on? Kavon called at 4:00 AM. “Hey, baby, I’m sorry that I didn’t make it over last night. I ended up playing a few hands of cards after we spoke. But I’m packed and ready to go, so why don’t you take a cab over to my house, and we can leave from here together. I annoyingly answered Kavon with a simple okay then hung up the phone. I went downstairs and checked the windows and doors then made sure Hobbs had water and food. I dialed the phone for a cab and jotted down a note for Sean and Monica while I waited. The cab arrived at my house about a half hour later. I gave Hobbie a hug as I opened the front door, picked up my bag and walked slowly to the cab. I jumped in the back seat and gave the cab driver Kavon’s address. As the cab pulled up in front of his house, I noticed that there were lights on in the living room and that the front door was open. I didn’t feel like getting out of the cab so I reached for my cell phone and called his number. He answered on the first ring and said that he would be out shortly. Thirty seconds later, he walked out of the house with empty hands. “Shit! What now?” I said to the cab driver. I rolled down the window as he walked over to the cab. “Uh, baby, can I speak to you in private?” Kavon said cautiously.

Immediately my head started to pound, and I felt an attitude on the rise. I told the driver to wait a second and got out of the cab. Kavon walked me over to the sidewalk so we could be out of ear shot of the driver. “Shortie, I know that you’re going kill me, but I can’t find my passport. I had it sitting on my desk today, but now it’s not there!” Kavon said. I was speechless and about to lose my temper, but never changed the expression on my face. I swallowed hard, took a deep breath, rubbed my temples, and walked back to the cab. I reached into the cab for my pocketbook, pulled out his ticket and handed it to him. “Here’s your ticket, I hope you make the plane,” I said in a nonchalant voice. I got back into the cab, closed the door then instructed the driver to drive to airport.

When I arrived at the terminal I walked over to the first open newsstand I saw. I purchased a bottle of Advil and popped a double dose for my throbbing headache. Then I walked through the terminal to the check in and then through the security checkpoint. When I finally reach gate 9 my head felt as if it was going to explode! So I sat down closed my eyes and massaged my temples until it was time to board the plane. At five-thirty, an announcement was made that the plane was boarding passengers. Shit! Still no Kavon! I hope for his sake he makes it! When the second announcement was made, I got up and walked slowly to the line, handed the attendant my ticket and found my seat on the plane. Just as I sat down my cell phone rang. “Haley, what terminal are you at?” I looked at the phone and replied, “American, why, where are you?”

“I’m at Delta, aren’t we leaving from Delta?” he exclaimed. “No,” I said calmly. “Look at your ticket!” “Shit, I fucked up! I’m not at the right terminal!” he shouted. “Oh shit! I gotta run,” and then he hung up. I was sitting with my head against the window and eyes closed when Kavon rushed passed me sweating and breathing hard. He found a seat and sat down and tried to compose himself. He was seated a few rows behind me and didn’t notice that he had walked pass me as he rushed down the isle. After the plane took off and the seatbelt lights went off, I motioned for one of the stewardess. I pointed in his direction and asked her to let Kavon know where I was sitting.

He got up from his seat and joined me. Neither Kavon nor I spoke to one another during the whole flight, and I think it was best. When we arrived in the Bahamas, we were ready to have a good time. We caught a cab to the Marriott Crystal, where we registered at the front desk then walked to our room hand in hand. As soon as we reached our room, we grabbed our bathing suits from our bags, opting to unpack later and hit the water. We bypassed the pool and headed straight for the beach. The water was warm, clean and everything I needed to calm me down.

We swam and played in the water all afternoon. We ordered drinks and something to snack on when we went back to the pool area. It was almost nightfall when we decided to go back to our room after a day of fun in the sun. We showered, dressed casual, and went out for a quiet dinner. We found a restaurant within walking distance from the hotel and sat down for a romantic dinner. Walking back to the hotel we stopped at a liquor store and bought a bottle of Grey Goose and a container of orange juice for the room. Kavon ordered a late night snack from room service and made us a couple of drinks while I took a shower and changed into a soft pink negligee. While he showered, I sat on the terrace gazing at the reflection of the moonlight on the ocean and sipped my drink slowly. He exited the bathroom wearing only a towel and joined me on the terrace. He paced around for a moment then stated that he had something important to tell me. He seemed upset and nervous then took a long swallow from his glass. Kavon then took a long breath, and then dropped the bomb. “Haley, I want you to hear me out before you say anything, okay. I haven’t been totally honest with you,” he said. “Latrice and Chase aren’t my only kids. I have two more children that I didn’t tell you about.”

“Two years ago, I met this girl Channel, through a friend of mine. At the time it was no big deal. I hit it a couple of times, Channel was seeing some guy on the side and from what she told me he wasn’t very attentive to her needs. So, every now and then I stop by and take care of business and kick it with her. From what I understand now, I wasn’t the only one hitting on that. I found out by accident that she was doing a few guys. Anyway, the next thing I knew Channel was blowing up my phone saying that she was pregnant and that I was the father. This girl was banging so many guys at the time, I’m sure she called all of us. Well, she had the baby, but she never took me to court or anything. I never had a paternity test done and last but not least I don’t pay any kind of child support through the courts. Only thing is, the kid looks just like me!” Kavon said with his head down. So, let me get this straight. I said. One, you knew or had an idea that this girl was seeing someone else, and you didn’t use a condom? Two, you haven’t had a paternity test, and you don’t know for sure if this is your daughter, but you think the little girl is yours? “Three, you give the girl money monthly for the baby. I asked. “Yeah, I kinda feel deep down inside that she really is mine.”

“That’s not all,” he said. Kavon reached for the bottle of Gray Goose again and poured an extra shot and threw it back. Then he dropped the other shoe on me (a Timberland I might add). I also have a newborn son by another girl. He’s four months old. “What!” I exclaimed. “Please calm down, baby, I had no idea I would get so serious with you. I wanted to tell you this a while ago, but I couldn’t. I was scared,” he said sadly with tears in his eyes. “See, the baby’s mother Renee, and I broke up on bad terms around the time we met. Renee and I got into an argument one night over me hanging out. She started cursing at me, and then she started hitting me in the face. I slapped the shit out of her causing her to topple over and hit her head on the floor. I grabbed my coat and walked out. When I came back two hours later after cooling off, she was sitting on the side of the bed talking on the phone to one of her friends cutting up my clothes!”

“It took everything I had not to snatch the scissors out of her hands and stab the shit out of her. She told her friend who was on the other end of the phone to call the police if she heard her scream. So I had to back off and keep my cool. Then she threatened to have me locked up if I hit her again and to leave the keys to the apartment on the table and to get the fuck out. So I walked out with only the clothes on my back. I left everything. Even though we lived together in the apartment, I knew she would fight me for everything. The TV, the computer, the furniture, everything, so I decided it was better to leave it all. So, I left empty-handed. I called my parents, told them what happened and moved back home with them that same night. I changed my phone number, closed out our joint bank account, changed my job and went on with my life.”

“At the time, I didn’t know that she was pregnant, and to tell you the truth, I don’t think she knew either. Anyway, one day my man Ali ran into one of her friends at some party almost six months later and told him that Renee had had a baby boy and that the baby was mine! That’s right after I met you,” Kavon said. I sat in the chair stunned! Instead of baby mama drama, I had gotten involved with a man with four baby mama’s going on at the same time!

I couldn’t utter a word; I was numb, speechless, and just exhausted after that story, I had to regroup. All I could do was to shake my head. I walked into the little kitchenette area and grabbed a bottle of cold water, four aspirins and then lit a cigarette. I turned around and shouted, “Four Baby Mama’s! What were you thinking about? What was I thinking about?” I yelled. I walked into the bedroom and lay across the bed. I could feel a headache coming on, and I was trying to ward it off before my head exploded. I curled up in a ball and started to drift off to sleep.

When I woke up the next morning Kavon was sitting silently in a chair at the foot of the bed looking at me. He stood up and walked over to me and said, “Good morning, Shortie, I’m sorry to put all of that on you last night, but it was eating me up. I couldn’t keep that from you any longer.” He said softly, “I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want to see me again.” “Well, to tell you the truth, Kavon,” I said, “I don’t know what to say. I hate being lied to no matter what the reason is. I prefer that some one tell me the truth and let me decide what I want to do about the situation. To be manipulated and disrespected for you’re selfish, and personal convenience doesn’t sit well with me. And then, to top it off, four, I repeat four different women! Did you ever hear of birth control? Did you ever hear of condoms? Did you ever hear of AIDS? I know women play that game of I’m-on-the-pill. But damn! With AIDS being prevalent among blacks, as well as all the other diseases that you can contract for life, you really are playing Russian roulette with your life and all the girls you sleep around with!”

“Thank God I insist on condoms for sexual intercourse as well as oral sex, and for the life of me I don’t know why everyone doesn’t think the way I do. But, it’s your life. I thought you were smarter than that, Kavon,” I said sadly. “Babe,” Kavon replied, “I got it under control now, honest. I got tested just before I met you, and my test was negative. Look, I’m sorry. I never meant to lie to you, and I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he whispered. Angrily, I replied back, “You didn’t hurt me, you hurt yourself and all the girls you fucked.” “Look, I love my kids. Whether I have two, three, or four kids, I’m going to be responsible for all of them. So, if you want out, I’ll understand. No matter what you decide, I’ll always be there for you. I’ll go to the ends of the world for you if I have to; and don’t you forget it. I know that I fucked up big time, and I’m sorry. But then when I met you, I changed. I wish I had met you along time ago,” he said with tears in his eyes. Shit, I heard that before, I said to myself, as I turned around in disgusted.

Here I was in the Bahamas to get away from stress. But no, now I was here in the middle of some bullshit and drama. Look, Kavon I don’t have anything to say. Unfortunately, there are no available rooms in the hotel for you to move into and neither one of us have extra cash like that. So I guess for now you’ll have to make your bed on the terrace or on a chair, but you’re not sleeping with me. All I want to do right now is to chill and enjoy myself as best I can at this point. So right now, I don’t want to think or talk about what you said to me last night or this conversation right now. Then I got up and called room service and ordered breakfast then jumped in the shower.

When the food arrived, I was strapping on my sandals and ready to walk out of the bathroom. Kavon knocked on the door and yelled, “Shortie, the food is here!” I swung the door open and walked out wearing a white two-piece bathing suit under a cute little short set. I walked over to the breakfast tray and poured myself a cup of coffee while I eyed the assorted pastries and fruit. I decided to skip the pastries and piled the fruit on my plate as I reached for the phone to call Sean and Monica. Sean answered on the third ring and told me that everything was okay and to have fun. I didn’t mention Kavon to him or our conversation and hung up. The rest of the trip Kavon went out of his way to make up for his indiscretions. But it didn’t matter, our fling was over.

Just think of it like this, it was only day two of my vacation! Before I could even get out of New York it was stressed and now it’s fucked up beyond imagination! From that point I was cordial to Kavon, but beyond that, nothing. At night I would curl up in the bed, and Kavon would find his own spot. It was either the lounge chair on the terrace, the chair in the bedroom, or on the floor at the foot of the bed. In the morning we would get up, order breakfast then hit the beach or hit the pool. Then I would get my daily message, then lunch. Kavon decided to keep his distance but stayed close and eagerly paid for my daily expenses. I guess he didn’t want to pressure me and kept the conversation light when we did speak to one another. It was a long seven days, but I survived. I had no choice but to survive this nasty and despicable situation, I had no where to run.

The night before our flight home we ended up at the Casino and gambled the night away. We cashed in our chips about 4:00 AM, grabbed our bags then headed for the airport. Our flight home Sunday morning at 6:45 AM couldn’t come fast enough. But before I knew it the pilot made an announcement over the public address system that we were about to land and to buckle up. When the plane pulled up to the terminal and came to a full stop we jumped, grabbed our bags from the overhead compartment, and made my way through the crowd. We made our way through the maze of people to the curbside and waited almost fifteen minutes for a cab. I was anxious to get away from Kavon and anxious to get home to give Hobbs a big hug.

We found ourselves right in the middle of the morning rush hour and the cabbie maneuvered through traffic at a snails pace. Almost two hours later, we were pulling up in front of my house. I hopped out of the cab and rushed to the front door. I had held my bladder long enough and made a beeline for the bathroom. In the meantime, Kavon grabbed all the bags from the trunk and paid the cabbie. He placed his bags inside my foyer then brought my two bags up to my bedroom and placed them at the foot of the bed then went back downstairs.

I walked out of the bathroom and walked into my bed room and pulled out the dirty clothes from my suitcase. I gathered them together and proceeded down the stairs. I stopped before I reached the bottom step when I noticed Kavon’s bags sitting by the door in the foyer. I slowly entered the kitchen and observed Kavon standing on my back porch playing with Hobbs. I turned away and continued down to the basement to the laundry room. I sorted the whites from the dark then put a tub of clothes on to wash. I slowly walked back up the stairs as Kavon and Hobbs came into the house. He stood before me with his hands in his pocket and asked, “Shortie, did you make any kind of a decision?” I stopped dead in my tracks. “Did I make a decision about what? You’ve got to be kidding! This whole you and I thing doesn’t require any thought! There’s nothing I have to think about, let alone rethink. We don’t have a future. You lied to me, and that’s all I have to say. Besides, I know that I couldn’t and wouldn’t put up with the bullshit when the kids mom(s) find out about me,” I said sternly. I made that mistake one time before with a man with a ready made family and it didn’t workout. So, I know this isn’t any different.

He stepped back and looked me in the eyes then asked me to call him a cab. He knew that he had pushed me to my limit and dare not ask me to drive him home. As I reached for the juice in the refrigerator, he walked up behind me and turned me around to face him. “Haley, whatever you decide, I’ll have to live with. But I just want you to know that if we can work it out, I’ll never lie to you again.” “You must be out of your fucking mind!” I yelled. “You lied to me. That’s one thing that I can’t forget, and it seemed so easy for you to do.” Just then his cab pulled up and honked for him to come out. I turned around, looked him in the eyes and motioned for him to get his things and leave. He walked to the door and briefly looked at me then walked out, and I closed the door behind him. I made myself a drink then went back to finish my laundry. After everything was washed, dried and folded Hobbs and I returned upstairs, ate a light snack and ploped down on the couch to watch some TV together.

I was mentally drained and must have dozed off, because the next thing I knew, Hobbs was up and barking at the front door. I slowly pulled myself to my feet as my door opened. It was Nia and Toni welcoming me home from my trip holding up with a bottle of wine as they walked through the door. “Hey girl, we want to know how your trip to the Bahamas was with Kavon! So what’s the 4-1-1? I want to know all the details.” Toni laughed as she walked into the living room. Nia pushed past me and greeted Hobbs with a bag of his favorite snacks and plopped down on the couch. “Okay, no holding back, give up the 4-1-1 on Mr. Kavon,” Nia and Toni said in unison. “There’s nothing for me to tell,” I said. It was my time of the month, and I had terrible cramps the entire time so I laid low. I was so overwhelmed by Kavon’s lies, I couldn’t talk about it. They looked at each other then shrugged their shoulders then walked into the kitchen to get glasses and a bowl for the chips. My friends know me well enough to know that really wasn’t the deal and let my excuse slide for the time being. Just then the phone rang. “Toni, would you please answer the phone for me,” as I shut the door to the bathroom. “It’s Sean and Monica on the phone,” Toni yelled. “They said welcome home, and they want to know the details!” I yelled back, “Maybe tomorrow, I’m tired and have an early day tomorrow.” “Besides these cramps are kicking my ass,” I said. Nia and Toni looked at each other and poured the wine. “If you’re not willing to talk about it now, that’s okay, but just unwind with this glass of wine first, and we’ll get out of your way.” I looked at both of them smiled and sat down with them. Three glasses later, I was fast asleep on the couch and Nia and Toni let themselves out.

When I woke up the next morning, I was still on the couch and Hobbs poking at me to let him out. I was in no mood to go to work or be sociable so I called into work for an extra vacation day. I walked upstairs, took the phone off the hook, and crawled into bed. There I slept the rest of the day and half the night. When I woke up, it was almost midnight. I reached for the phone and saw that I had ten messages. Kavon called four times and the rest of the calls were from my dad, Sean, Nia, and my coworker Lorraine.

Lorraine and I met the first day I started working for the senator. She’s single, in her early thirties, about five feet and nine inches with a vibrant and charismatic personality. She’s also a single mom with a five-year-old. She’s what you might say my second pair of eyes and ears and the only one that I confide in at work. She’s also a night owl and I decided to give her a call. “Hey girl, I’m home, are you busy?” I asked. “Hey, your back already?” she said, surprised! So, how was your romantic vacation with that gorgeous man of yours? Do I hear wedding bells in the distant future? Are you in love, what’s up?” she exclaimed. “Girl, get a cigarette, pour you a drink, and sit down,” I said. “Nooooo,” she said.

After explaining the story in detail to Lorraine all she could say was. “You lying girl, you’re lying!” I think that this was one time that she truly didn’t know what to say. She knew Kavon’s baby-mama drama knocked the wind outta me. “Girl, I’m there for you, if you need to talk I’m all ears.” After a moment of silence I told her that I had to finish my hair and that I would see her at work in the morning. She agreed then hung up. I showered, pulled out a black dress, and changed the contents of my Louis Vuitton tote to my black Coach and got a jump on my morning rush. Then I jumped into bed and softly drifted off to sleep. My alarm clock went off promptly at eight o’ clock. I slowly got up remembering that my boss wouldn’t be in till around 2:00 PM. I had plenty of time for a work out at the gym before work. Ugh, this shit is kicking my ass, but its well worth it. 11 o’clock sharp I was walking out of the gym and headed home for a quick shower and to change for work. Damn, my day was long and by 10:00 PM. I was exhausted beyond imagination and ready to go home. I dropped the senator off at his residence and made my way to the parkway. Halfway home, I received a call from Sean. He told me that he had spent the entire day in court fighting with his ex-wife over custody of their two kids. “So, things didn’t go well in court again?” I asked. “No, they didn’t, not at all,” he replied. “Can you believe that the courts awarded her $2,800.00 a month in support from me? How in the hell am I gonna survive? How am I going to live?” he yelled. “They left me with virtually nothing in my pockets! I’m going to have to find a second job off the books so I can keep a roof over my head!” he said sadly. “Hey, I’m sorry to hear that, if there’s anything I can do, just let me know. In fact, I have a few dollars to tie you over if you need it.” “Look, we’re friends, and I’ve got your back,” I said, and then hung up. I said a silent prayer and took my time driving home.

As soon as I got into the house, I let Hobbs out and ran upstairs to run myself a hot bubble bath. I checked my answering machine then returned downstairs to let in my baby and fixed a cosmopolitan to enjoy while I took my bath. I slipped off my dress and stood naked admiring my body in the mirror. My workouts in the gym were paying off. My flabby butt and thighs were diminishing and a tight and muscular transformation was in the making. I turned on some soft music, lit a few candles and stepped into a tub of bubbles. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the moment. “Between the Sheets” by the Isley Brothers was playing softly and almost brought a tear to my eye. “Damn,” I said out loud. I would love to have that song playing and be in the arms of Jordan or my mystery man.

I stepped out of the tub, dried off and climbed into bed. Then I said my nightly prayers while holding my favorite pillow. I prayed for my family and friends and near the end of my prayers. I prayed that my chocolate man was safe and to let us one day meet again and if we didn’t. I thanked the almighty for that little burst of hope in finding someone to light my spark again. Then I fell into a sound sleep.

Hobbs woke me up around 6 AM. He had either heard another dog barking, or he saw a squirrel through the window, because he wouldn’t leave me alone until I let him out. “Damn, it’s too early for me to get up,” I said while wiping the sleep from the corner of my eyes. I wasn’t due in early today. The senator’s first appointment was a luncheon at 1 PM and a dinner engagement was scheduled for 7:30 PM. So my morning was free. I made a cup of coffee and went back upstairs and washed my face and brushed my teeth. While looking in the mirror, I decided that my hair needed a touch up and decided to call my beautician. I knew Pat was in the shop early on Tuesdays, so I showered and was at her shop when she arrived. Pat took one look at me and said, “Girl, you’re black as hell, what island were you at and what the hell happened to your hair? You need a touch-up like yesterday,” and laughed. “I know you want to adopt me as your dependant, she said and laughed again. “I was in the Bahamas, and the water is what happened to my hair,” I said. “And as far as having you as a dependant, no thanks, but I will take a man as one, maybe,” and laughed again. Pat permed, washed, and rolled my hair in record time as we watched the morning news and talk shows.

I was sitting under the dryer watching TV when a commercial aired about the Bahamas, and I immediately thought of Kavon. I remembered the few times that I was around him and his two kids; he seemed to be a great dad. He was patient, loving, understanding, and playful. Most of all he seemed to be a good example of what a father should be, at least on the surface. His practice of unprotected sex in addition to his seemingly noncommittal relationships just turned me off. Oh well, it’s over now, I thought to myself. The hair dryer was on full blast and it was making me sleepy.

Before I knew it I had drifted off to sleep and was dreaming of when I was married to Errol. I met Errol about eight years ago at a political event. He was a personal bodyguard of a prominent congressman, who will remain anonymous. Errol was a divorcee and had custody of his two kids. He worked in the same building as I but on a different floor. At work when we ran into each other, we were professional and kept our relationship on the down low. I preferred it better that way, and didn’t want to be in the office limelight of gossip. So we kept it all business while at work and let my hair down when I was off. It seemed like the perfect relationship. We liked and disliked almost the same things. We had similar quirks and wanted the same things out of life, so it seemed. I thought we were compatible and maybe we were the perfect match, but boy was I wrong!

After two weeks of dating, I met his family, his parents, his siblings and then his twins, Denise and Kirk. After four months of dating, he asked me for my hand in marriage and insisted that the wedding take place within two months. Without really thinking about what I was getting into. I said yes. I knew that I didn’t love him like a woman should love a man that she was about to marry, but I felt I would grow to love him. Wrong! I should have followed my mind and said no, but I didn’t. But since this looked like my only offer of marriage and kids I said yes. I know now that this was a poor excuse, to get married but this seemed like the right decision at the time.

I knew that Hobbs and I were set in our ways, but I was willing to make a change in our lifestyle and prayed that things would work out. Errol’s finances were tight so instead of having our wedding in a catering hall we made plans for an intimate wedding in the backyard. With no time to spare I went full steam ahead with the wedding, the white dress, the invitations and all. Ugh, never again! A month before the wedding, Errol insisted that he and his two kids move in with me. That meant, we had to move fast! He gave his landlord a month notice that he was getting married and packed up. Errol and I moved all of my things out of my guest room and office and converted them into bedrooms for the kids. Next we rearranged everything in my basement to accommodate his living room furniture and placed my office stuff in the corner opposite his office stuff. We had two additional phone lines installed and a bamboo room divider to separate our space. The more stuff he moved in, the more uneasy I got. I began to feel as if I was suffocating, but quickly dismissed the thought and chalked it us as pre-wedding-jitters.

I should have followed my mind and called off the wedding when my wedding day turned into a near disaster. A week after Errol asked me to marry him I had hired a seamstress to design and make my wedding dress. I didn’t have time or money for anything elaborate, so I opted for a simple yet elegant dress. Well, as fate would have it, the seamstress got sick and was unable to complete my dress on time. Well, believe it or not, the morning of my wedding, I still had no dress! I was walking around the house in my bathrobe and panties and everyone was running late! The caterer arrived an hour late and was rushing around. My bridesmaid and the bakery company were two hours late and nothing seemed to be going right.

Last but not least, when my maid of honor arrived at my house with my dress an hour before the ceremony I was watching a movie on TV. Meanwhile, Errol was in the backyard drinking the champagne out of the bottle with his groomsmen while I watched them from my bedroom window. I was mortified! I was a wreck!

Now, if that wasn’t an omen . . . . I should have followed my mind. I should have stopped the wedding before it started and turned my wedding day into “I’m sorry, I’m not getting married and going down like that party. But, I wanted to get married; unfortunately it was for the wrong reasons. So, against my better judgment, I walked down the isle and said I do anyway.”

Damn, I was not only going to be a bride and a wife, I was also going to turn into an instant mother all in the same day! I thought to myself. Who would have thought!

I remember the first couple of weeks that we lived together. It was kinda fun. Then around month three reality set in. One morning I went to take a shower and when I came out of the bathroom I found the kids rummaging through my night table and dresser draws. I asked. Denise and Kirk why are you in my room and what are you looking for. Denise rolled her eyes at me then said. This is our dad’s room and we’re looking for his calculator. Mean while Kirk was looking at me like he was annoyed at the question. I informed Errol of the incident and was shocked when he ignored my complaint and never said anything to the kids. The next incident happened the week the kids returned to school after the Thanksgiving. Denise was caught stealing from one of her classmates and suspended from school. During her week’s suspension from school, she had boys in and out of the house without our permission. She was constantly rummaging through my jewelry box and helping herself to my stuff and not returning it. Then I found out that his son Kirk was fighting in school and also suspended the same time that his sister was. At the same time I discovered that Kirk was stealing money out of my pocketbook.

Last but not least was when Errol began sneaking money out of our joint bank account. One night while attempting to balance the check book I discovered several discrepancies. I would deposit our paychecks into a joint account, which was setup solely for our household bills. Then, without my knowledge Errol would go to the ATM and make withdrawals when ever he needed money! Then out of the clear blue sky, he started running up his Master Card account on all kinds of expensive stereo equipment.

Then when the bills started coming; Errol started making all kinds of excuses as to why he couldn’t pay the bills when they came it. Then the collection calls and delinquent notices started, I was going crazy! The life that I once knew was no longer peaceful; it had become everything I loath. It had become hectic, stressful, and I was soon surrounded by lies and deceit.

The straw that broke the camel’s back was the day I found out my husband (of eight months) was cheating on me! Shit, he didn’t waste anytime did he! That bastard! I had taken my car to the dealers for a tune up and to get a couple of things checked out and was able to talk the service manager into letting me have a loaner car for the day. I had a little running around to do but decided since the kids were at the movies, Hobbs was at the groomers and Errol was probable bowling that I’d go home and nurse my headache. I parked the loaner car in front of the house, walked inside poured a glass of juice, and went directly to my room. I fumbled around a few minutes looking for aspirins in my night table. I took two pills then jumped into bed fully dressed. I pulled the covers over my head to shield the light from my eyes and got comfortable. My headache was so intense the slightest noise was magnified. About fifteen minutes later as the pain started to subside, and I heard Errol’s car pull into the driveway. I heard him open the back door and walk through the kitchen to the closet in the foyer and open the closet door.

I pressed my index fingers against my temples to help ease the pain and started to call out to him just as his cell phone rang. He was on his way up the stairs and talking on the phone louder than usual. I overheard him say, “You have to cover for me; I told Haley that we hung out together last night. Shit man, I took that girl Ryan out for a little dinner. Then we went back to her house, and I fucked the shit outta her. Damn, she got a tight pussy for a big girl! Shit, I hit that so hard, the rubber broke; I was tearing that ass up and just couldn’t pull out in time. I’ll tell you one thing, she’s a keeper!”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, what the hell! Well, I sat straight up in the bed and getting up when he opened the bedroom door. He swung the door open, looked me straight in the eyes, and dropped the phone. He was stunned and stood there motionless for a second; then reached down without taking his eyes off me, picked up his phone and hung up it up I was furious and my head was about to explode. Immediately Errol started to back peddle and get defensive. “Where’s your car? Why are you home?” he asked. I pushed past him and walked down the stairs and grabbed my keys. He followed me down the stairs and out the door to the loaner car. He grabbed my arm and swung me around. “Whose fucking car is this?” he yelled. “It’s the dealers!” I yelled back.

I got into the car and started to put the key in the ignition, but Errol grabbed the keys from my hand. “Where the fuck are you going?” he yelled. I yelled back, “Leave me alone! I heard every world you said while you were on the phone! You were out last night fucking some bitch! I’m getting away from your ass.” I guess he had gotten so mad with himself for shooting off his mouth; he punched the car window causing the glass to shatter in my face. There was glass everywhere! I was so shaken up, that it took me a few seconds to realize that I had glass shards in my eyes! As I tried to blink my eyes, I could feel the razor sharp edges of the glass cut into my eyes, and I started to cry. I reached up to look at my face in the rear view mirror and saw that my face was covered in blood.

“Errol opened the car door!” and pulled me from behind the wheel. “Baby, I’m so sorry. I didn’t think I hit the window that hard. Let me get you in the house and clean you up,” he frantically stated. I was temporarily blinded by the glass and blood and had no other choice, but to let him escort me into the house. We walked inside and went straight to the kitchen sink to rinse my face and hair. The water felt like someone was pouring acid over my face and scratching my eyes with a sewing needle. Errol grabbed a paper towel and reached up to dry my face. I pulled back and fought to focus my eyes on him. “No, don’t fucking touch me, just take me to the hospital, I have glass in my eyes!” I yelled. Errol held out his hand to guide me to the door and out to the car. All while begged me to forgive him.

I had to keep calm and think fast. I knew that if I told the emergency room personnel at the hospital what really happened to my face, they’d call the police. Errol would possible be arrested, lose his job, and would stalk me the rest of my life. Along with the fact, I’d be home with his kids! Or I had to think fast and make up a believable story as to how I got the glass in my eyes and get rid of his ass when I recovered from my injuries. Well, I went with the latter.

It was apparent that Errol was thinking the same thing because he asked me what I was going to tell them when we got to the emergency room. But I refused to answer him and tried to think of a convincing story. As soon as we walked in, I was ushered into the trauma section and given a gown. A nurse walked over to me and helped me undress then started cleaning my wounds while Errol was giving the clerk at the front desk my personal information and his insurance card. Soon an emergency room doctor walked in to my cubicle to examine my eyes. He quickly evaluated my injuries then called for an eye specialist. “Honey, what happen to you? Do you want us to call the police?” the nurse whispered in my ear in a calm voice. I held back my tears and took a deep breath and then calmly told them a pretty convincing story. It must have been a pretty good one because nothing else was said, and the police never showed up.

About ten minutes later, I was examined by two ophthalmologists who stated that I had glass fragments embedded in my left eye and that both of my corneas were scratched. “Will I have any long-term eye damage? Will I recover?” I asked. Just then Errol popped through the curtain and introduced himself to the doctors. “Uh, doctor, this is my wife. Is she going to be okay?” The doctors stated that they could remove the shards of glass from my left eye with minor surgery and assured both of us with rest and medication I would have a full recovery. One doctor then administered a local anesthetic into my eyes while the nurse finalized the paper work and prepared me for surgery to remove the remaining debris. Two hours later I was patched up like the mummy and rolled out of the recovery room in a wheelchair. The operation went well the doctor bragged to my husband. In fact we’re going to discharge your wife. As Errol walked out the door to bring the car up to the side door, the nurse bent over and whispered in my ear. “If there’s any discomfort with your eyes, don’t hesitate to call us,” and handed me my discharge papers. Errol and the nurse helped me into the car then handed Errol my prescription for painkillers. We drove straight to the pharmacy in silence and then home. Errol was scared to death and overly nice to me and apologize numerous times, but all I wanted to do was get into my bed and sleep. I would figure out the rest later.

When I woke up, I was so disorientated because my eyes were bandaged shut; I didn’t know if it was day or night. So I sat up in the bed and felt around for the TV remote so I could find out what time it was. Just then I heard footsteps coming up the stairs and sat there motionless. The door opened and Errol walked in and put something on the nightstand. “Baby, I made you something to eat, and sat down beside me.” “No thanks, I was just getting up to use the bathroom.” My stomach is a little queasy. I lied about not being hungry, but I had no intentions of eating or drinking anything that he served me after the bullshit I had just gone through. He helped me to the bathroom and waited for me outside the bathroom, then helped me back to bed.

He sat down next to me and insisted on talking, he wanted to say his piece. I sat quietly listening until he finished talking and decided to keep my comments to myself. At this point the only thing I could do was to rid my life from this miscreant from hell and to get his despicable ass the hell out of my life for ever. My eyes had to stay bandaged for a week, and I was scared to death and truly helpless. Sean and Monica had gone away on vacation. Toni had flown to Ohio on business. Dawn was attending a seminar in Atlanta, and Nia was on a photo shoot in Italy. So, I was on my own. The next day, I fumbled around with the phone until I was able to master calling. I called my boss and told him about the accident, leaving out the gory details. He assured me that he would pull another staff member from the office to fill in for me until I was able to come back to work then wished me well. Then he hurried off the phone to answer another call.

My next call was to my bank branch manager Tara. I had to wait almost five minutes before she picked up her line. I asked her to temporarily suspend all tractions on my joint account while I was recovering. My last and final call of the day was to my lawyer’s office. I scheduled a consultation for the following week. My mind was made up, and there was nothing on this earth that was going to change my mind. It was a long and grueling week, but I made it through it. I got my neighbor next door to come in and feed Hobbs for me in addition to sneak me something to eat too. Errol was doing everything he could to make me comfortable and make amends for his fuck up. His kids tiptoed around the house and acted like perfect angles. That following Tuesday, I got up after Errol and the kids left for school and work and got myself ready for my day. I had a ten-thirty appointment with the ophthalmologist and was hoping to have not only the bandages removed but thumbs up on my vision. My neighbor drove me to my appointment and helped me to his office. Go, I’ll be fine, you’re going to be late for work I insist. I said. She held my hand tight and then gave me a hug then rushed out the door.

Dr. Carter removed the bandages with care then dimmed the lights. His examination was thorough and fast. When he finished he assured me that my eyes had not suffered any permanent damage then wrote me a prescription. He instructed me to wear dark sun glasses for a while so the wind and dust wouldn’t further aggravate my eyes sensitivity and scheduled me for a follow up appointment the following week.

I paid my co-pay deductible at the front desk then asked the clerk to call me a cab. I slipped on my darkest designer sunglasses and walked out the office. A few minutes later, the cab showed up and whisked me to Brooklyn to my lawyer’s office, Wilson and Glenmore, LLP. I needed to get my life back and this was the only way.

The consultation took no longer than twenty minutes. I walked into his office literally with my checkbook in hand. I didn’t hesitate nor did I give a damn as to how much it was going to cost; I wanted out. So right then and there, the preliminary papers were drawn up and I signed them on the spot. As a precaution, I called my dog’s breeder and asked her to keep Hobbs for a couple of weeks. I explained my situation and didn’t want Hobbs to be a victim of foul play. She agreed and as soon as I got back to Long Island, I packed Hobbie’s crate, his toys, and food bowls and took him to the breeder.

I must have looked like I was under duress because the next thing I knew, Pat was leaning over me, shaking my shoulder. Inadvertently, I must have fallen asleep while under the dryer and dreamed about my ex-husband and his kids. Pat shook my shoulder again and kept asking me if I was okay with a concerned look on her face. It took me a moment to get my bearings and realize where I was. Damn, I had fallen asleep under that dryer and was reminiscing about my nightmare of a husband. I wiped the sweat from my face and adjusted my shirt; I was soaking wet from sweating. I lifted the overhead bonnet dryer from my head and shakily stood up, pulled out my rollers then placed a $100.00 bill on the counter, and walked out of the salon. I was suffocating and needed air; I was nauseous, light-headed almost disorientated. I had to get it together and get ready for work.

That was an ugly time in my life that I would only wish on my worst enemies. It was the only time in my life that I felt like I was looking up at the gutter. I was emotionally stressed, and I couldn’t get a hold on my emotions. But thanks to prayers and the support of my family and friends; I got through it. After three months my divorce was finalized and Errol and his kids were out of my life and I was back to being single again.

I slowly got into my car and carefully drove home. As I walked through my front door, I could hear my phone ringing. It was my coworker April. “Hey Haley, are you coming in today?” she asked. “Yes,” I answered. I just walked in from the hair salon and will be leaving here within the hour. “Why? What do you need?” I asked. “Well, when you get in the office, if you have time, stop by my office, I have a favor to ask of you,” April said. I agreed then hung up the phone and ran upstairs to get ready for work.

I walked into the office an hour ahead of schedule, dropped my coat and bag in my office then walked into April’s office. “Hey April, I’m here what’s up, girl?” I asked. She looked up from her desk with a smile and motioned for me to have a seat on the couch. “I’m having a small intimate dinner party this Friday night, and I’d like for you to come.”

“April, I’m not sure, I don’t have a date to bring. “That’s exactly why I’m inviting you over Friday night,|” April stated. “I have a house guest this week, and Darrell and I would like for you to meet him. He’s Darrell’s cousin Virgil from Colorado, and he looks like the type of guy you’d be interested in. He’s single, has no kids, and he’s looking to relocate to the city. So, please say yes and come over this Friday,” April said. “If it will make you more at ease, I invited two other people, so you won’t feel pressured like it’s a blind date or something. I promise there’s no strings attached. Just come over and have dinner, play some cards with us, swim in the pool, and have some fun for a change, damn girl, April pleaded.

“Oh I don’t know, April. Tell me a little something about him, I asked. “Well, his name is Virgil Leighton. He’s medium complexion, about six feet tall and about 180 pounds, and he’d really nice-looking,” April replied. “Hum, I don’t know, you may have to count me out,” I said. “Oh come on girl, do this for me, please,” April asked. “All of my other friends are either hooked up with someone or married. You’re the only friend I have that’s not dating someone.” “Let me think on it, and I’ll get back to you,” I said reluctantly. “Look, I have a half hour before I pick up the senator. I have a briefing at City Hall at 2 PM followed by a press conference. We should be back in the office around 5 PM; I’ll let you know then okay,” and then I walked out of her office and returned to mine. I was on my way to the senator’s residence when the office called and informed me that the briefing and press conference had been canceled. So I continued north on the Harlem Drive to the 155 Street exit and looped back down town. I called April and agreed to attend her party on Friday night. She was so excited that I had accepted her invitation that she wanted to do a conference call to her house and introduce Virgil to me over the phone. That’s where I drew the line. “Come on, girl, all you have to do is say hello!” she insisted. I acted as if I had a bad connection then hung up the phone. When I got back to the office, I gave her one of my famous dirty looks as I walked past her office. I walked into my office, closed the door and made a few calls. I finished up my odds and ends around 6 PM, locked up my office and headed home.

Just as I was getting off my exit on the Southern State Parkway, I remembered that this was the day Dawn had to appear in Family Court for her divorce case against her husband. I looped back on the parkway and got off at the next exit. When I pulled up in front of her house I noticed her kids were playing basketball in the driveway. “Hi, Haley!” they yelled. “We just have to warn you, mom is on the warpath, so be careful. She looks crazed and probably out for somebody’s blood,” they yelled. I acknowledged the warning and walked cautiously into the house anyway. “Hey, Dawn, where are you?” I asked. Dawn walked out of the bathroom with tears in her eyes. “Haley, that bastard never showed up in court today. I called his brother after they made me reschedule for another court date and he told me that Thomas flew to Santo Domingo last Wednesday with that bitch and wasn’t coming back for at least six months! He flat out refuses to give me money for the house, the bills, or the kids. The mortgage is late again; in fact, I’m still two months behind! I can’t do this on one paycheck, and I can’t work a second job. I have to take care of the kids.” she exclaimed. “Girl, I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say,” I said.

I suggested that I treat them to dinner so we called for take out and I hung out with Dawn and the kids for a couple of hours. We played a game of cards then watched TV. It was getting late and I had to go. “Look, Dawn, I’d love to stay longer but Hobbs is probably wondering what happen to me. If you need something, give me a call.” The kids and I straightened up the coffee table in the living room while Dawn collected all the glasses and placed them in the dishwasher. I made a pit-stop in the bathroom and secretly wrote Dawn a check for $3,000 and placed it on her kitchen table on my way out the door. “Oh yeah, if you get a chance, give Monica a call. I think she might be able to locate your fugitive husband and then walked out the door.”

Damn, I’ve got that headache again I said to myself as I drove down the street. When I arrived home Hobbs greeted me with his usual playfulness, boy was I glad to be home, I said to Hobbs. I poured a glass of juice and then went outside to play catch with Hobbs. After and hour of playing with him I was exhausted, and plopped down on the steps while Hobbs finished his dinner. There I sat, thinking about my friends that had or were going down the divorce road. For me, it was hell. But thank God, it was only six months of hell. After the incident with Errol breaking my car window and the glass shards getting into my eyes, he left quietly with his kids, and I haven’t seen or spoken to them since. That was a painful and ugly time in my life. I had put it all behind me, hoping never to relive again. It was getting late so I decided to go in the house, and watch the news and chill out before going to bed.

It was the beginning of the week, and I was doing my usual Monday morning quarterback thing. I rescheduled meetings and ran interference when it was necessary. The rest of the week went fast, and before I knew it, it was Friday night. I was on my way to the ladies room when April called out to me from her office. “See you tonight around seventy-thirty right!” I took two steps backwards and looked over at her with a puzzled expression on my face. “What happens at seventy-thirty?” I asked. “I know, you didn’t forget about my dinner party Haley, its tonight? You promised to come over and meet Darrell’s cousin from Colorado tonight,” April replied in annoyance. Damn, I had forgotten about meeting her house guest and didn’t want her to get upset. I laughed unenthusiastically and told her that I was playing and that I would see her later. After freshening up in the ladies room I walked back to my office, locked my desk and headed to the elevator.

Traffic on the parkway wasn’t bad, and the weather was hot and sticky. I threw in a hot CD and started driving to the music as I thought to myself; an evening in April’s pool didn’t seem so bad after all. I got home around six, fed Hobbs and ran upstairs to pull out my bathing suits. In the mean time, I made a couple of calls while deciding which one to wear. I decided on the black and white two-piece suit and slipped it on after a quick shower. I looked at myself in the mirror and smiled. My workouts are really paying off, and I’m proud of my transformation! I thought to myself. I grabbed my sarong out of the closet and tied it loosely around my waist, then headed out the door. The ride to April’s house was uneventful and short; and within fifteen minutes I was there. When I arrived, I pulled into the driveway behind the other cars and walked towards the back yard. As I opened the side gate, Darrell was walking out of the house with a tray of steaks. “What’s up, girl! Come on in,” Darrell exclaimed. He placed the tray down beside the grill then came over to me and gave me a hug. “Damn girl, you look wonderful and I see that you’re ready for a swim. You’re the first one here so if you don’t mind, help yourself to something to drink and get comfortable. There’s champagne, beer and wine in the cooler and the hard stuff is on the bar. I’ll be right back. April’s in the house, he shouted. I’ll tell her that you’re here.” I dropped my bag on the lounge chair, then walked over to the bar and poured myself a glass of champagne. “I hope you have enough food; I haven’t eaten all day,” I said jokingly. As soon as Darrell disappeared into the house a very nice looking man appeared and walked straight toward me. “Hi, you must be Haley,” he said while holding out his hand. “Yes, I am, and you must be Darrell’s cousin, Virgil.” Just then April popped out of the house and stated that her other two guess weren’t coming and that it would only be the four of us for dinner. “Shit, I said to myself under my breath. But from the looks of Virgil, it might be for the best.

Darrell prepared the steaks while April, Virgil, and I brought the rest of the food outside and placed it on the table. After dinner, April insisted that Virgil and I get to know one another better and insisted that we should enjoy the pool or the hot tub while she and Darrell cleaned up. So I grabbed my bags and spruced myself up in the cabaña while Virgil went inside to change into his swimming trunks. When he returned, I was already finishing up my second lap. He seductively slipped off his t-shirt exposing more of his muscular physique and sipped the rest of his drink. I swam over to the shallow end of the pool so I could stand up and wiped the water from my face, so I could get a better look at his body. He walked over to the diving board and jumped in with the proficiency of a professional diver. Virgil swam over to me then stood up. “Nice dive,” I stated. “I use to be on the swim team in college,” he replied. We fooled around in the water a little while then decided to sit on the side of the pool. I found Virgil to be interesting and funny, and I really enjoyed his conversation. April and Darrell joined us a few minutes later and challenged us to a game of water volleyball. Virgil and I kicked April and Darrel’s butt, we won two out of three games we played. After the tie breaker Darrell suggested that the four of us relax in the hot tub and enjoy the dessert he had prepared.

Virgil made himself comfortable in the hot tub while I went to the ladies’ room. When I returned, I noticed that Virgil was sitting in the tub sipping on a glass of champagne, and April was stacking wood in the outdoor fireplace. I walked over to the hot tub and slid my sarong down my hips while Virgil looked on. He smiled and nodded his head as if he was approving what he saw. I stepped into the steaming tub of hot bubbles and sighed with relief. Virgil moved closer and asked me to tell him more about myself in a seductive baritone voice. I laughed then gave him a brief bio. “Well, I’m thirty eight years old. I am divorced. I don’t have any kids, and I’m doing okay for a single female.” I didn’t want to divulge too much. I’m never comfortable giving out personal information to people I just meet. Maybe if I felt some kind of chemistry I would have said more, but he was starting to get a little creepy. Virgil kept looking at me as if he was about to devour me. He kept licking his lips at me and grabbing his shit! So I quickly turned the same question back to Virgil. “So, what’s your story?” “Well,” he slowly stated, “I’m also thirty-eight years old, originally from Harlem and about twenty years ago; my family relocated to Colorado. After college, I had a few jobs here and there. Then about four years ago, I lucked up and landed my dream job with a lucrative sports firm. My boss is great, the clientele are sometimes, a little high strung, but all in all I have a great job. It allows me to work and socialize with the rich and famous. It keeps me on my toes and my game tight. You know what I mean?”

“Anyway, the company recently merged with another agency located in Manhattan and I put a bid in for a transfer. So, here I am, mixing business with pleasure,” and smiled at me. “It’s kind of bad timing though. The merger was announced the day after I closed on a three bedroom townhouse. He said.” Then Virgil slid over closer to me in the hot tub and reached over and grabbed the half full bottle of champagne. He poured what was left in the bottle into our glasses and held his glass up to toast. After about three bottles of champagne between all of us, Virgil seemed to be a little tipsy and consumed with himself and his accomplishments. The conversation became all about him and that was okay until he started referring to women as bitches and whores. When he started spewing out those words, I was ready to go. Virgil apologized for monopolizing the conversation with his stories, but not for the bitches and whores comments. Maybe the look on my face told him that I wasn’t impressed or interested, who knows.

Just then, April and Darrell walked out of the house and joined us in the hot tub as the music played softly in the background. I reluctantly agreed to stay another twenty minutes. Finally, I said, “Look, guys, I have an early day tomorrow. I’m sorry but I have to call it an evening.”

The four of us walked to the gate talking and laughing. I hugged everyone and thanked them for a wonderful evening. I turned to Virgil and wished him luck on his interview and noticed April and Darrell trying to slip away. Virgil looked me in the eyes then said, “Look, I’m always flying back and forth to New York. So would it be a problem if we hook up sometime?” He reached in his pocket and pulled out a business card and wrote his cell and home numbers on the back. “Here, you have my numbers, you can call me anytime. I’m leaving in a few days and I’d like to meet you in the city one day for lunch or an early dinner.” “I don’t know what my weeks schedule looks like yet. As you know, as a personal assistant for the senator, I also have a demanding job. I go as much as you.

So if we’re not able to meet up this time, maybe we can meet up on your next trip. For some reason I started to feel a little uncomfortable with his persistence. “I’ll let you know how my weeks going.” All of a sudden Virgil grabbed me around my waist and tried to kiss me. I put my hands up defensively and gently pushed away and said, “Virgil, I don’t operate like that, don’t get it twisted.” I smiled, got into my car, and flew down the parkway. Halfway home, April called and asked what I thought of Virgil. “Thanks girl, but for my sixth sense is saying don’t do it. Besides, I don’t think he’s my type. Even if he was, I don’t want to date anyone right now.” By the time we hung up, I was home. I walked into the house, let Hobbs in then went upstairs to rip off my bathing suit and take a hot shower and got ready for bed.

It seemed as soon as I closed my eyes my alarm clock was going off. Damn, it’s six o’ clock already, I said to myself. I hit the snooze button for another fifteen minutes and then dragged myself out of bed when it went off for the second time. I showered, dressed, had coffee and was on my way to work by 7:45. I hate coming to work on the weekends, but, that’s how it is. I was right in the middle of an international call when April sashayed into my office. I whispered. “Have a seat April, I’ll be with you in a second,” and motioned for her to take a seat. Before I could put the phone in its cradle she was in my face. “Haley, you can’t be for real about turning Virgil’s offer down. Are you sure you don’t want any of that? Damn, the brother’s got money, he’s fine, he’s single, and he kept me up half the night asking questions about you!” April exclaimed. “Come on girl; don’t hate me for trying to hook you up!” “Look girl, I’ll admit, he is fine,” I said, “but I’m not attracted to him. Sorry, there’s no chemistry on my part. So, Ms. Cupid, please leave it alone,” I begged.

“Okay, I’ll leave it alone, but only after this question. Why is it that you still have Jordan’s picture on your desk? Look girl, I know it hurts but you have to stop acting as if Jordan might come back to you,” April stated. “I don’t want to seem cold and callous, but think about it, he’s probably with his baby mama right now!” Then she stood up, turned around, and walked out of my office. After that comment, I walked to the door and closed it behind her. After her snippy statement, I had to sit down and regroup, but I cried instead. She may be right, I thought to myself. It hurts! Knowing that I was still in love with Jordan, and there was nothing I could do about it, was devastating. He had moved on with his life and I had to accept it.

Around 4 PM, the senator called for me to drive him to LaGuardia Airport. He was headed to Albany without me for the next three days which meant I had some time off to myself.

I finished work around seven-thirty and was looking forward to a quiet evening at home. As soon as I walked in the house Hobbs was all over me. I put him outside and turned on some music. Then I changed into something comfortable and whipped up an extra strong cosmopolitan. By then Hobbs was standing at the door waiting to come inside. I turned off my cell phone and plopped down on the couch and put my feet up on the coffee table. Around 11PM, my hang out and music producer buddy Ann called and talked me into going to the club the next morning with her. Yea, I did say the next morning. Some New York House music clubs are so avant-garde. When we entered the club around 9AM, we were greeted by the mystical sounds of tribal music. I needed to get rid of the tension from my body and sweat a little. We checked our bags and danced our way through the crowd to our usual spot on the floor. The music was booming and the atmosphere was awesome.

I was dancing my ass off and just happen to look in the DJ booth and stopped dead in my tracks with my mouth wide open. There, standing next to the DJ stood a black Adonis. He had the face of a model and was fine as hell! He appeared to be six feet or so, with a honey-almond completion and shoulder length dreads. His chest and biceps bulged through his t-shirt showing off the sculptured masterpiece. I stared at him so intensely that I almost tripped over my own two feet trying to get Ann’s attention. I grabbed her by the arm and pointed to the DJ booth. “Look up, look up!” I shouted. She turned around towards the booth then turned back to me. “Oh shit! He’s fine as hell! I wonder who he is. Damn, look at him!” she exclaimed. We regained our composure and continued to dance with our partners. The DJ on the turntables was entranced in his zone, swaying and dancing to the music as he mixed in the spiritual sound of Odo oya. All of a sudden the crowd went wild, and began to dance frantically in a trancelike state. As I closed my eyes, I could feel the music sending a tingling sensation through my body until I climaxed from a musical orgasm. Oh my god! I was ripe and ready for sex after that, but that wasn’t in the plan. When I opened my eyes, I noticed the Adonis was walking through the crowd and headed in my direction. I quickly danced my way in Ann’s direction; and motioned for her to turn around.

As he walked past us, we looked at each other and smiled. I danced almost three hours non stop. I finally took a break and made my way to the ladies room at the same time, the house lights came on signaling that it was closing time. The DJ continued to play a few more songs and finally stopped about a half hour later. Ann and I slowly walked over to the VIP lounge to say good-bye to a few friends that were still hanging out and noticed that the Adonis was standing in the doorway. “Haley, that guy is really fine, look at is face, and look at his body. What a package! Damn girl!” she said. “I’m sure he’d make you forget all about Jordan,” she said with a sly grin. “I don’t know girl, he could be nothing but heartache and trouble. I said as I turned around and walked in the opposite direction.

“I have to grab a bottle of water before they close the bar, do you want one Ann asked. No girl, I’ll grab the coats and will meet you in the front lounge,” I yelled back. As I continued to make my way across the empty dance floor, I turned around to see which direction the Adonis had gone, but didn’t see him. A few minutes later, Ann came running up to me as I was retrieving our coats from the coat check. “Girl, I met him. I met the guy that was in the booth with Joe, that fine guy, girl!” “How did you do that? And when?” I asked. “When you walked away,” she stated. I went into the booth to say good night to everyone and as I walked away, I bumped into Joe and he introduced us. His name is Hassan, and he’s into music like Joe. He told me that he heard some of my music and wanted to know if he would do some engineering work on a couple of tracks he had, then he asked about you! “Oh shit!” she screamed. “He’s fine, fine, fine and with a perfect body and everything! From head to toe fine! Ann said out loud. Oh shit! She yelled again. He’s got a beautiful smile, nice teeth, oh my!” Ann was so excited that she screamed again and ran out the door. So I guess you know that I quizzed her all the way home.

Ann told me that Hassan was a long time friend of Joe. In fact, Joe was his mentor. He resides in New Jersey and is trying to get a residency spot in New York to spin in. He also said that he didn’t have plans tonight, so he and his other friend decided to come to the club and hear Joe play tonight. He wanted to continue the conversation about my music but his ride was leaving and he had to go. I was hoping that you would come back in the VIP lounge, and you could have met him. Anyway, that’s when he asked me for my number, and I gave it to him. “Ahhhhh shit, girl!” she said. He’s got the number and I’ve got his number! For the rest of the ride home, we laughed and screamed like high school girls. When we arrived at my house, it was almost 6 AM. Shit! I had to be at work at nine o’clock, I didn’t care. I had a great time at the club. Luckily, I had already anticipated not getting any sleep. So as soon as I walked through the door, I got myself ready for work and made the trip back to Manhattan. My first meeting was at 10 o’clock, and it ended somewhere around 1PM. The rest of the afternoon wasn’t bad, I had gotten a jump on my schedule the day before, and my boss wasn’t coming into the office, so I worked at my own pace and prayed for 6 PM. Damn, I was dead on my feet and too tired to drive home. So I took a chance and called Xavier and asked if it was all right if I stopped by. “Yeah, girl, Jordan won’t be home for another two weeks. You know that this is your home too! In fact, you can stay the night if you’re too tired to drive back to Long Island.” “No thanks, I’ll take my ass home. I’m taking a big chance coming over there as it is. But I’m so exhausted, I can’t think straight. If you had said no, I would have found a hotel and crashed there,” I said. “Come on over, I haven’t seen you in a long time, and I miss you,” Xavier said. “I’ll have some food warmed up and a bottle of your favorite wine on the table by the time you get here.”

I called Nia and asked her to check on Hobbs. All she had to do was to let him out, a little food and some fresh water and he was set. She agreed and told me that she would spend the night at my house. I made my way across town to Xavier’s apartment within fifteen minutes. When I rang the bell, Xavier swung the door open and greeted me with a big hug and kiss. “Girl, come on in, I miss you not being here,” he said sadly. I’ve got everything on the table. I dropped my bags in the living room then walked into the bathroom to wash my hands. When I walked into the kitchen, I was surprised by a plate of fried chicken, yams, macaroni and cheese, and green beans. We sat and talked almost three hours nonstop. After a glass of wine, I started seeing doubles. Xavier knew that I was in no condition to drive home and again insisted that I spend the night. “Look,” he said, “Jordan won’t be home for another two weeks, and you can’t drive home like that. Besides, I’m sure he won’t mind you being in his bed again.” “Nope, I’m not doing that!” I replied. “I’ll take the couch.” Xavier gave me a pair of sweats and a tee shirt then I excused myself and took a long shower. When I walked out of the bathroom, Xavier was on the phone in his bedroom with the door closed, so I walked into the living room and turned on the TV. When he finished his conversation, he joined me in the living room and told me that he had just spoken to Jordan and that he told him that I was there. Haley, Jordan couldn’t talk long because he was at rehearsal. But he told me to tell you hello, to make yourself at home and that you could sleep in his room. PS, I know that he still loves you!” I looked at Xavier with disbelief. “Why did you call him?” I asked. “No, girl, he called here, to check on a few things Xavier replied. “Look, don’t get excited, it’s okay, really.” I stayed up fighting sleep another twenty minutes then decided not to fight it any longer and headed to bed.

As I opened up Jordan’s door, my heart started pounding as I looked around reminiscing. I climbed into bed and before my head hit the pillows, I was asleep. When I woke up the next morning I turned over and looked around the room. Nothing had changed; everything was just like I had left it. I got up, showered and dressed in a hurry. As I walked into the kitchen to get a glass of juice, Xavier was placing my breakfast on the table. “Coffee is on the stove or do you want a cup of tea?” he asked. “You know you have to have your nourishment before you start your day, so don’t say a word, just sit down and eat your breakfast.” He put a plate of bacon and pancakes on the table and we ate breakfast together.

“Girl, I know you had flashbacks last night,” he joked. He knew from the look on my face that he was right and smiled. I thanked Xavier for the hospitality and made a mad dash for work. But first, I had to stop by the cleaners first and pick up my suit. When I arrived at work, the senator was already in his office and on the phone. I waved to him as I passed his office. I called the airlines and confirm our AM airline reservations to Washington as I changed into my suit. Then I stepped into the doorway of his office and motioned to him that I was ready. The senator ended his call, grabbed his jacket and briefcase, and we were off. “We shouldn’t be more than two days in DC. If you like, you can either take a flight home or take a helicopter back with me on Thursday. It’s your call.” “Thanks, Senator, if you don’t mind, I’ll decide after the meeting is over before I make that decision. You may want me to stay,” I replied.

Working for the senator was the job to have. The hours were grueling, the work was never ending, but the exposure and personal contacts were phenomenal! Besides he was a great boss! He’s a personable, talented, well respected, resourceful, resilient and knowledgeable man with unlimited resources, and the world was at his feet. I thank God every day for the job of being his personal assistant/ bodyguard and friend.

I decided to stay until Thursday and ride back to New York with my boss. Just before we took off, I called Ann from the airport to find out what was going on with her. She was excited as hell! “Hey girl, I’m at your house with Nia and guess what? I have two complementary tickets for us tonight! It’s gonna be the shit!” she screamed. “I also spoke with Hassan tonight, and he’s going to be at the party too.” “Ahhhhh, I wonder what’s his story?” I replied. “I don’t know, but we’re gonna find out,” she fired back. When I got home, Hobbs wouldn’t leave my side. Around 6 PM, I decided to take a catnap and fell asleep across the bed. Before I knew it, my alarm was going off. I was dressed and ready when Ann arrived at my house. On the way to the city, we played catch up on the latest gossip as she weaved in and out of traffic. We bypassed the long line at the door and walked to the front of the line with our VIP status. Damn, the club was crowded!

As we made our way through the maze of people, a hand reached out and tapped Ann on the shoulder. It was Hassan. He must have spotted us as we made our way across the dance floor. The music was so loud that Hassan motioned to us that he was going to the VIP section which was at the opposite end of the club and to follow him. We danced and wiggled our way through the sweaty crowd. When we reached the other side, I went straight for the ladies’ room to freshen up my lipstick while Ann greeted Hassan and his friends. When I exited the rest room, I looked around and spotted her by the balcony staircase. I walked pass the club’s security and up the stairs where met up with Ann and Hassan along with his two friends, Bruce and Jeff who were already seated. We introduced ourselves and had a couple of drinks before going out on the dance floor. I must admit, Ann was right. He was fine, and a true Adonis in the flesh! It was obvious that guys wanted to do the male bonding thing so Ann and I decided to hit the dance floor.

Damn, the music was hot! After a night of hot seductive dancing with a few of our friends, Ann and I were ravenous and decided to grab something before we made our journey home. As we exited the club, we ran into Hassan and his friends and told them of our plans. Everyone agreed that they were hungry and so we jumped in our cars and met up at a diner on Fourteenth Street.

Hassan made sure to sit next to me; Ann sat across from me with Bruce and Jeff on the ends. The conversation was funny and entertaining, we were having such a good time; we didn’t realize that we were there almost two and a half hours until Bruce looked at his watch. Hassan paid the bill, and we grabbed our things and walked outside. “Shit,” Ann said to me, “it’s almost 5:30 AM. I have to hurry up and get my ass home!” Hassan was the last one out of the restaurant. He walked over to me, wrapped his muscular arms around me, and held me tight as he stroked my back. I could feel my body heating up and closed my eyes, and placed my face on his muscular chest while savoring the moment. Before we broke our embrace, Hassan whispered in my ear. “Damn, your body temperature must have gone up a few notches; your body is hot as hell! Are you okay?” he asked. Shit! If he would have held me a second longer, I might have had an orgasm! I backed away somewhat embarrassed and smiled. Then I turned to Jeff and Bruce and thanked them for accompanying us to the restaurant and the meal.

When we finished saying good-bye, Ann and I jumped in her car and hauled ass back to Long Island. We talked and laughed about the evening’s events the entire ride home. It was somewhere around 6:40 AM when I walked through the door, and exhausted. I walked in the kitchen and stripped butt naked in the kitchen. I threw my clothes down the basement stairs and let Hobbs out. Then I showered and jumped in the bed. I had to go into the office that afternoon and set my alarm for one-thirty. I was on my way into the office when the receptionist called me on my cell phone and advised me that there were no changes to my schedule. So I didn’t have to rush into the office. I had to finish up the final touches for my boss’s surprise party along with some odds and ends. By 6 PM, I was ready to collapse from exhaustion when I decided to call it quits. Halfway home, Ann called. She had just gotten off the phone with Hassan and was reluctant to share the info so I did a full court press on her and got the 4-1-1. She hemmed and hawed a bit then finally came with it. “Don’t get mad, girl. He said that you’re not his type, I’m sorry.” “You’re sorry for what? We met; we enjoyed each other’s company over a late morning breakfast, that’s all. That’s okay; I had fun with Hassan and his friends, and it ended there. Don’t sweat it!” I replied. I still have my memories and broke out into a big smile. We changed the subject laughed about something else. Midway through our conversation my phone beeped, and I clicked over to the other line.

It was Sean. “Hey girl, are you home?” I laughed. “Not yet I replied. Where are you, I asked? I’m two exits away, why?” “I’ll meet you at your house. If you don’t mind, I’ll let myself in, I need to vent a little and get this shit off my chest. I need to tell you what happened when I went to family court the other day.”

“Damn, my soon-to-be ex-wife is a real bitch!” Sean yelled. “I’m so fucking pissed off; I just need to sit down and talk and get this shit off my chest.” By the time I got off the phone with Ann, I was pulling into my driveway. As I walked up the steps, Sean opened my front door holding a chilled glass of wine. Before I could place my bags on the floor, Sean got started. “That bitch lied in court again! Now she’s saying that I didn’t feed the kids before I brought them back to her last week. She told the judge that when I bring them home, they’re dirty and their clothes are usually torn up! What the fuck!” Sean exclaimed. “I can’t wait for this shit to be over, I hate this bitch!” I listen quietly as he gave me a blow-by-blow play of his day in Family Court.

We finished the bottle while I made a couple of open face turkey sandwiches. I listened to Sean rant for the next two hours and was very sympathetic to his situation. He was pissed, but something tells me that something else must have happened for her to flip like that. But that’s none of my business, and I don’t want to know. When he left, I went upstairs to take a shower and relax. As I turned on the shower, my phone rang. I glanced over at my ID caller and saw that it was Kavon. I took a deep breath and answered. “Hello.” “Hello, stranger,” he replied. “I’d been thinking about you, would you like some company tonight?” he asked in a seductive tone. I looked at the phone and counted to ten. “I think you already know the answer, Kavon. No, no, thank you,” I replied. Then hung up the phone, in as much as I needed and wanted sex, I had standards, and Kavon was no longer an eligible candidate for my bedroom.

Shit, if I had a choice the only person I would make love to would be Jordan, but since I didn’t have a nickel in that quarter. I had to go without. Now if I had to have sex I wanted anyone else besides Kavon’s deceitful ass.

All night long I tossed and turned, I couldn’t sleep. It had been months since I had felt the warmth of a man’s body next to mine. My body was in heat, and my mind was racing. I got up to get a glass of water when my phone rang. I turned around, who in the hell is calling me at 2 AM? I looked at the caller ID and realized that it was Xavier. “Hello.” “Hey, baby,” he said. “I’m so sorry to be calling you so late, but if I remember correctly, you’re a night owl anyway,” Xavier said. I laughed and replied. “I couldn’t sleep anyway, what’s up?” I asked. “I wanted to invite you to a party over the holidays, in fact New Year’s Eve. I decided to have this party the other day, and I want you there. Jordan will be home, and I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you. Look, it wouldn’t be the same without you. Please, please, please. I miss you and most of all; I want you at the party. Don’t say no yet, just think about it,” Xavier pleaded. “I’d love to come, but what about Jordan. Won’t his baby mama be there? I’ll be there as long as Jordan is okay with it. Besides, I’m not into being uncomfortable, and I don’t want my feelings hurt again.” “You won’t, I promise, you’ll be my guest, and I’ll make sure everything runs smoothly. Besides, the two of you need to see each other,” Xavier said laughingly.

“Okay, okay, okay, I’ll be there just as long as it’s okay for Jordan. I’m not up for any surprises, and I don’t think he is either.” “Don’t forget your overnight bag when you come, because you know you won’t be in any condition to drive home,” Xavier said. We laughed and said good night then I curled up in the bed and fell back asleep.

The next two weeks zipped by and before I knew it, it was New Year’s Eve. I packed an overnight bag with a sexy long and flowing negligee, and then headed to Jordan’s apartment for the party. Sean and Monica had agreed to stay at my house for the weekend which gave me a couple of extra days at Xavier’s if I needed it. When I arrived at the party, everything was in full swing. The music was pumping and there was dancing in the living room. There was food from one end of the table to the other, and the desserts lined the counter top. There were cases of champagne, wine, and liquor everywhere. I had to laugh; there were only eight of us and enough food for an army. I turned around as Jordan came up behind me and greeted me with a hug and a passionate kiss. He held me tight and whispered in my ear, “I’ve missed you.” He held me so long, that I began to cry. He wiped the tears from my eyes then took me by the hand and escorted me to his bedroom. We kissed and held each other for what seemed hours. Then he kissed me on my forehead, and we joined the party and counted down the seconds to the New Year.

Around 7:30 AM, we decided to wrap up the party and clean up the mess. I decided to get ready for bed and walked into the bathroom to turn on the shower. Jordan walked in behind me and closed the door. He walked up behind me and yanked my panties over to the side, then forced his finger inside my vagina and began to kiss me wildly. The next thing I knew, we were ripping each others clothes off, I grabbed his dick and led him into the shower. He lathered me up from head to toe as I caressed his body. Jordan lifted me up, pinned me up against the wall, and forced his penis into my vagina. I stuck my right foot in the soap dish for leverage, and I wrapped my left legs around his waist. His kisses were intense and intoxicating. He pulled his throbbing penis out of my very wet pussy and gently let me down. I grabbed the liquid shower gel and poured a small amount in my hand then began to give him a hand job. We must have been in there a long time because we were interrupted by a knock at the door. “Hey, I want to shower too, so please hurry up,” the voice said from the other side of the door. We quickly dried off and exited the bathroom and walked hand and hand into his room. Once inside Jordan’s room, it was on! I pushed him softly on his bed and began licking and sucking him from head to toe. I straddled his body and pressed my dripping pussy against his thigh then kissed his lips gently. He grabbed my breast and caressed my nipples. He played with them until they were hard and erect then pulled them to his lips. He sucked on my tiddies while I massaged his balls. Jordan rolled me over on my stomach and kissed every square inch of my back. He bit me gently on my butt and rubbed his erect penis on my thigh.

Jordan turned me over on my back and placed his hands under my round ass. He pulled me to the edge of the bed then lifted my ass up arching my back as high as he could. He bent over and began to part my lips with his tongue and began to flick his tongue over my clitoris slowly. I let out such a scream; I was sure that his roommates heard me, but I couldn’t help it. He kissed, licked, and sucked me till I was about to release my orgasm. Jordan lowered my body to the bed and began to stroke my body with his fingertips. “Ahhhhh!” I yelled. Then I sat up and reached for his thick and massive penis. I opened my mouth as wide as I could and began to devour his dick slowly. I started at the tip and worked my way to the base as if I were feasting on my favorite meal. I swallowed Jordan’s throbbing cock whole and maneuvered my hands slowly across his balls. He grabbed me by my ponytail and held my head steady as he pumped his dick in my mouth. I gently pushed him off me before he could shoot his load in my mouth and reached for a condom. I took the condom from its package placed it in my mouth and rolled it slowly down his hard and throbbing penis. As I stood up to straddle myself over him, my juices oozed out on his leg. “Damn, Haley you’re fucking wet, baby,” Jordan said. I held his dick with both hands and placed the tip of his penis in the opening of my vagina as he grabbed my hips and pulled down. I squeezed and contracted my muscles as he guided my ass around in his hands.

He rolled me over on my back, spread my legs open as wide as he could and knelt between them. Jordan leaned forward and slowly guided his penis again into my dripping pussy. He grabbed my ankles and held them up in the air. Jordan rocked back and forth thrusting his penis into my vagina while massaging my clitoris with his thumb. Just as I felt myself losing control, he pulled his penis out and made me stand up. He stood me up against the wall with my back to his chest. I grabbed the wall and spread my legs and waited for Jordan to enter my vagina from the back. “Damn, your dick fits my pussy!” I yelled. Jordan smacked me on my ass and lifted me off my feet with his dick. Again he pulled out, trying to savor the moment.

I pulled Jordan back to the bed, this time facing him as I sat on his lap. I slid his penis in me again and bent over backward until my shoulders rested on the floor. My pussy started making slurping and sputtering noises, as his balls smacked against my ass. Then Jordan stood up; and it was nothing but full penetration. I squeezed my vaginal muscles so hard I unknowingly pulled the condom off. When we came, juices spewed everywhere. It took us a while to catch our breath, as we lay on the floor. Baby, the condom came off inside you. Jordan said softly. Then he rolled me over onto my back, spread my legs apart and stuck his index finger inside of my vagina to retrieve it. I can’t find it down there help me! He said with laughter. Just take your time; you’ll get it I said as I began to have another orgasm. When he removed his finger he also had the condom. Damn, this damn thing is torn to shreds. He laughed and placed it in the garbage can on the side of the bed. We were drained and just barely able to move. We crawled up onto the bed and as I rolled onto my back I felt a sharp pain in both of my shoulders. Shit! I knew that being in that last position I was surely going to end up with rug burns on both of my shoulders. But I didn’t care. Jordan pulled me into his arms and we fell fast asleep in each others arms. I was too tired to concentrate on the pain so I rolled over on my side, I was content and oh so satisfied!

The next morning, neither of us wanted to get out of bed, besides I couldn’t put my legs together and I couldn’t walk. When I did I only got up to go to the bathroom, and I was having a hard time at doing that. Around noon, Jordan got up and fixed me breakfast then it was round four or five, shit I can’t really remember. We slept, then we made love, then slept and made love again the entire day. It wasn’t until the second morning that I could stand on my feet without wobbling. We both felt like we had sea legs. We walked a few steps then we had to sit down. Damn, that was a lovemaking session to remember! I was able to get up and move around a little better on the third day. I had to get up and get myself ready to go home. I finally decided to get out of bed around 6 PM. Jordan fixed me something to eat while I showered and dressed. I hated the fact that I had to leave and decided not to pressure Jordan about his status with his son’s mother. I got myself together, kissed Jordan goodbye, and headed home. Around midnight, Jordan called to say good-bye to me again. His dance company was leaving for Portugal in the morning and he wanted to hear my voice again. We talked briefly then hung up. Never in my life did I ever think I would be into the booty-call thing but, with Jordan, I now had to rethink it.

The senator’s schedule for the next five months was so rigid; I didn’t have time for myself. I couldn’t go to my Sunday night ritual House party or go to the gym. I was on the road more than I was home, and before I knew it, memorial weekend was right around the corner. I was scheduled to work in the State Capitol office for the next few days and then I was on vacation for the next three weeks. I was glad, I needed a break. I desperately needed to get away, have fun, and regroup.

You know, being single isn’t all what’s it’s cracked up to be. For some reason, the past couple of months were harder to deal with than usual. I would find myself short-tempered and stressing out more and more. I frequently felt a void in my life, especially when I thought of Jordan. I wanted and needed the comforts of a man in my life, and I didn’t have that. And I didn’t have Jordan. In fact, I couldn’t find a single man that interested me. So in order to keep myself together, I frequently took trips. This time I had decided on the Cayman Islands. My three days in Albany zipped by without a hitch, and I was back on Long Island and heading home to pack my bags. I was two blocks from my house and on the phone with Sean when my call waiting kicked in on my cell phone. We ended our conversation and without looking, I clicked over to the call. That’s when I heard that familiar sexy, deep, sensual voice whisper in my ear. It was Jordan. “Hi, baby, how are you, how have you been?” he asked. I almost stopped the car in the middle of the street.

“Did I catch you at a bad time? Are you busy?” he asked. “Well, I’m on my way home from work and I have to finish packing, I’m leaving tomorrow on vacation, but I have time to talk with you I said. “Damn, baby, I almost forgot that you go as much as I do,” Jordan replied and laughed. “You’ve been on my mind, and I hope you don’t mind me calling you, but I just wanted to hear your voice,” he said softly. He caught me off guard, and I stumbled over my words. “I’m okay and I miss you too, Jordan,” I said. “So, what’s up with you?” “Well, we just finished up in Europe. As you know, we toured Portugal, Spain, and Italy.”

“Right now, we’re at the Charles de Gaulle Airport in Paris.” “Paris!” I yelled. “Yeah, we’re leaving for New York within the hour. When we arrive in New York, we have a short layover for a week and then we’re off again for Australia. Look, I just wanted or should I say needed to hear your voice,” Jordan said. “I miss you too, Jordan,” I said as I choked back the tears. “Is everything okay with you?” he asked. “Are you all right? Do you need anything?” Jordan asked. I just need you to love me; that’s all, I thought to myself. “No, no, I’m okay,” I answered. We talked another ten minutes then hung up. I didn’t want our relationship to be just about convenient great sex. I didn’t want our relationship to be over. I wanted it just like it was before, I wanted to be in love with Jordan and he in love with me, unconditionally.

I couldn’t contain my feelings and emotions any longer; and the tears exploded down my face as I walked into the house. I sat down on the living room floor with my head in my hands and had a good long cry. Then I wiped the tears from my eyes and began reminiscing about the wonderful times we shared as I walked upstairs and finished packing.

He says that he still loves me, and I really think he does. Shit, the way we made love I wanted to believe we still had a chance, but do we? I thought to myself as I climbed into bed and dozed off. I woke up to the clash of thunder and looked around the room at the clock. It was pouring outside and it was also time for me to get up, so I took a quick shower, dressed then brought my bags downstairs, and placed them at the front door. Monica arrived at my house within the hour and drove me to the airport.

I spent the entire week lounging around in the Cayman Islands. In the morning, I’d order breakfast in my room and sat on the balcony taking in the view. Then around 10AM I would set out to explore the island and do some soul searching. Most of the time I would find myself deep in thought as I either shopped or relaxed on the beach. I hated the fact that I wasn’t comfortable in my love life and finances. I knew that I was still in love with Jordan and hoping that I wasn’t an afterthought when his baby’s mama wasn’t in town. In addition to those woes and worries, I was starting to struggle with my mortgage. I just wanted to pack a bag and run away and start over, but I knew that was impossible. I had worked so hard on my house and it was almost finished besides I had Hobbs to think about too. I couldn’t run away. I had to go back to the rat race in New York and get my shit in order.

Sean picked me up from the airport around two-thirty the following week and dropped me off at my front door. When I walked in, Hobbs was all over me. I could see that he missed me and I missed him. It was good to be back home, but not so good to have to go back to work in a couple of days. I dropped my things in the hallway and decided to check my messages. Much to my surprise, there was a message from Hassan. He said that he had called Ann for my number and apologized that he had not called sooner. I looked at the phone in puzzlement. Wasn’t he the guy from the club who said I wasn’t his type? I asked myself. I picked up the phone and called Ann, but the call went straight to her voice mail. I reluctantly dialed Hassan’s number to see what the deal was. He answered on the second ring and took me by surprise. “Hey Hassan, this is Haley; I received your message, what’s up?” I asked. “I’m sorry that I didn’t have a chance to talk with you privately the other week when I saw you and your friend Ann at the club. I’ve been meaning to get your number and give you a call. I know your girl Ann must have told you what I said about you not being your type. But I didn’t want her in my business like that,” he stated. “Listen, I haven’t seen you out in the club in a couple of weeks, and I decided to ask her for your number anyway, so I hope you don’t mind me calling. Ann told me that you were on vacation; and I hope you had fun for all of us. Say, are you busy tonight? If your not busy, are you free for dinner?” he asked. “Uh, I just walked in the house and don’t want to drive anywhere.” “That’s okay; I’ll pick you up if you’re interested in having dinner with me,” he replied. I laughed to myself and agreed to have dinner with him. Hassan arrived at my house around 6 PM dressed in a nice pair of jeans and a pull over shirt. We went to a restaurant nearby and talked over a quiet dinner. When we got back from dinner, I invited him in for a night cap. Hassan opened a bottle of red wine as we made small talk in the kitchen. First, he told me that he was a supervisor for a public utility in Jersey in addition to his side gig as a DJ. Hassan then told me that he recently moved back home with his mother because of her poor health.

She’s been sick on and off for a number of years and I’m more at ease being close by just in case she need me. Hassan stated. Then he opened up a little more and revealed more of his personal information. He stated that he was thirty-nine years old, single, never married and has a six-year-old son. He and his baby’s mother dated for a while, she ended up pregnant, and then they broke up! What’s with people these days? Is sticking to a committed relationship or a commitment too hard? What ever happened to sticking it out or is that just a thing of the past. Why do they all run for the hill when it gets a little tough? I asked myself. It’s like the same story over and over. To tell you the truth, it’s down right scary, if you think about it, I thought to myself.

I guess I must have been day dreaming because when he mentioned that he dates occasionally and was interested in dating me. I looked at him with a puzzled look on my face. “Well, what do you say, would you go out with me?” he asked. I reluctantly asked. Date you? What does that mean to you? Date me and see other women as well or just me? He laughed and replied No I just want to see you and see how it works out if that’s ok. I agreed and then we sealed it with a kiss. This was election year, and I was working a crazy schedule. Over the next three months, we spoke everyday sometimes three to four times a day and only went out when I had days off. Dating Hassan was a pleasant change from doing the single thing. I thought we were moving in the right direction by taking it nice and slow. You know, getting to know one another before we got into the sex thing.

Well, this one particular weekend Hassan had car trouble and asked me if I could pick him up from the train station. I had no problem with that and agreed to pick him up around 9 AM. We made a day of shopping for DJ equipment and records in the city, and by late afternoon, we were exhausted and went back to my house. Around 5 PM, we ate dinner and fell asleep on the couch while watching TV. When we woke up and realized how late it was, I did something that I had not done before. I suggested that he spend the night and that I would drive him home in the morning. Hassan seemed a little uncomfortable at first with my suggestion but later agreed. Finally, after three months of dating, we had an opportunity to have sex! I couldn’t wait to feel his naked body next to mine and was immediately aroused. I imagined all kinds of nasty and sexual thoughts of us having hot sweaty sex. I figured that we would take advantage of the opportunity and have a memorable evening. Instead, Hassan shocked the shit out of me when he asked if he could sleep on the couch. I turned around and looked at him as if he were crazy, but decided to hold my tongue instead. To tell you the truth, I was stunned. “Well,” I said, “instead of sleeping on the couch, I have a guest bedroom you can sleep in, if that will make you feel at ease and comfortable.” Wow, it’s the first time he’s spending the night, and he wants to sleep on the couch! Oh hell no! I couldn’t hold it any longer and asked, “Hassan, are you celibate?” He turned around, smiled, and answered no, no I’m not. He never offered an explanation, and I refused to say another word.

I showed Hassan to the guest room on the second floor, turned on the TV, and placed clean towels on the dresser. “Hassan, do you want to shower first?” I asked. “No, no, go ahead, I’m gonna watch some TV first,” he replied. With a puzzled look on my face, I walked out of the guest room and into my bedroom, closed my door and stripped down. I grabbed my bathrobe, put it on and then headed for the bathroom for a cooling shower. I cooled my loins and prepared myself to sleep alone.

As I walked from the bathroom to my room, I noticed Hassan sitting on the side of the bed watching TV holding his towel in his hand. “Shower’s all yours” I yelled and walked into my room and closed the door. I threw my robe on the chair, slipped on my pajamas and turned on my TV, then climbed into bed. A few minutes later, I heard the bathroom door close and the water running in the shower. I was drifting off to sleep when I felt Hassan’s body slide into bed with me. For a minute, I thought I was dreaming and rolled over. But much to my surprise, I was awakened by Hassan as he started nibbling on my breast. Damn, I must have been exhausted because I was too tired to respond to his sexual advances. The foreplay was over before it started, and sex was in the air. I heard Hassan fumble around with a condom wrapper and roll it over his penis. He grabbed me by my arm and rolled me on top of him. Then he spread my legs open and pulled me by the waist to sit on top. He grabbed his penis then guided it between my legs and pushed his hips upward. “Ohh,” I moaned. I was awake now! He pushed and prodded until he was all the way in. Then I took over and rode him. He flipped me over on the bed and I assumed the missionary position. Wow, what a pleasant surprise to wake up to. Shit, I can’t imagine why he was acting so funny earlier. Hassan is a gifted and talented black man, I thought to myself and laughed. Before I could reach my orgasm, he turned me over and sat me on his lap. We fucked all over my bedroom, on the bed, the floor, and the chair. When he finally came, almost 45 minutes later, Hassan mimicked the roar of a lion.

We fell onto the bed, and he grabbed me up into his arms like a child grabbing hold of their favorite doll and drifted off to sleep. About an hour later, he woke me up in a panic. “Haley, get up, get up! You have to take me home right now; I got to go home immediately! I forgot that I had something very important that I have to do in the morning, and I can’t be late!” he yelled. “Okay, okay, okay,” I answered. I was groggy and disorientated for a few minutes while I sat on the side of the bed holding my head. I got up and stumbled my way to the bathroom and almost fell back asleep while sitting on the toilet. When I finally got it together, I washed my face and between my legs and walked back to my room. Hassan was already dressed and pacing the floor. “Can you please hurry,” Hassan asked. “Hassan, is everything all right?” “Yeah, yeah, I’ve just got to go now, I’m sorry. Maybe I’ll be able to stay longer next time, but right now, I’ve got to get back home.” Then he turned to me and asked, “Will it take you long to dress?” “Uh no, I’ll throw on a pair of shorts and a sweatshirt then we can go.”

I walked down the steps while putting on my shirt and walked toward the kitchen to let Hobbs out. Hassan followed and paced the kitchen floor. I decided not to rush Hobbs and left him outside. I grabbed my keys, and we walked to the car. I turned on the ignition and looked at the clock and thought to myself, shit, its 4:45 AM, what the fuck!

I got my bearings and headed for the parkway. Thirty minutes later, I was making my way onto the Staten Island Expressway. Another twenty minutes, I was turning onto Hassan’s block. I slowed down and came to a crawl. I was still half-asleep and trying to remember how to retrace my steps since I left my GPS home. This was only the second time I had driven to Hassan’s house, and still wasn’t familiar with the area. All of a sudden Hassan yelled at the top of his lungs. “Drive! Drive as fast as you can! Keep going!” Not knowing what was going on or why I should keep going and being startled, I hit the gas. When I turned around to look at Hassan, and he was gone! What the fuck was going on? As I took my foot off the gas, he yelled again. “No! No! Don’t slow down go faster! Don’t turn here, go straight! Faster! Faster!” I took a quick look around and saw Hassan scrunched and crunched down on the floor of the front passenger seat. It was like he and I were in a drive-by shooting, and he was ducking for cover! If you ask me, it looked as if he was trying to get underneath the carpet.

Here I am, half-asleep. My so-called boyfriend is yelling at me to drive, don’t stop, go faster as if his life depended on it, and I don’t have a clue as to why. I didn’t hear gun shots, there wasn’t anyone on the street, and the only other car on the street besides mine turned off on the last block. I turned around and looked at Hassan again. He was on the floor, scratching at the carpet as if there was a magic trap door! What the fuck! All I could do was sit there in the middle of the street looking at him as if he was delusional?

Well, all of a sudden from out of nowhere, a blue car appeared out of no where and was flying down the street behind us. The car fishtailed up to us as the driver hit the breaks and stopped. The smell of the rubber and smoke quickly filled the air, and I began to choke. Again, I turned to Hassan for an explanation. But as I turned to him for some kind of explanation, all I could see was fear in his eyes as he sat on the floor. I turned around in the direction of the car that had pulled along side of mine and observed a female sitting in the driver’s seat. She literally looked as if she was a cartoon character. She had a long cigarette hanging from the right side of her lip with smoke streaming out of her nostrils. The front of her head was covered with pink sponge rollers and the other half was sticking straight up. Her lipstick was smeared on her face, and her glasses were lopsided on her face. “What the fuck!” I yelled out loud. I turned back to Hassan and saw that he now had his hands over his eyes and mumbling to himself. I turned again to my left and heard her yell. “Hassan, is that you? Hassan, what the fuck are you doing in that car! Hassan, get your monkey mother fucking ass the fuck out of that car, now!” she demanded. I slowly turned around and watch Hassan unfold his body like one of the performers of Cirque Du soleil and emerge from the floor and reposition himself on the seat next to me.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing? You lying mother fucker!” she yelled again at the top of her lungs while exiting her car. “Uh . . . uh . . . hi, Robyn. Look it’s not what you’re thinking,” he said. “I was just getting a ride home from the party I told you about. You see, the guys that went with me to the party wanted to stay longer, so I got a ride home with her,” Hassan said while pointing at me. “What are you doing here?” he asked in a scared tone. I turned back to look at the girl and watched her slam the car into park then bolt out of the door with her fist balled up. At the same time, Hassan jumped out of my car and stood in the street. I was getting dizzy. Hassan and the girl stood in front of my car and began to argue. I sat behind the wheel of my car stunned and unable to move. Then without warning, the girl punched Hassan right in the mouth! She swung again and hit him in his eye. Then she hit him in the stomach all the while Hassan was yelling. “It’s not what you think. I was at a party!”

All I could do was to sit behind the wheel of my vehicle and say “Oh shit!” I didn’t know if I should laugh or put my car in reverse and back down the street where it was safe! All of a sudden Hassan started running around my car with the girl hot on his ass. Mind you, the light was still red, and now cars were coming up behind us. They moved up behind us, keeping a safe distance, and watched the show. Out of breath, Hassan stops and the girl runs up to him, rips off his shirt, and goes into the windmill fight mode. She bloodies his nose and scratches his arms and chest. When she begins to get tired she starts kicking him in the legs. Robyn turns to me and yells, “Girl, I don’t know what he told you, but this is my man!” She turns back to Hassan who’s limping away and jumps on his back and starts punching him in the back of the head like someone playing a conga drum. He reaches up and pulls her off and spins her around. She gets an arm loose and smacks him across the face again. “Wait till I get your fucking ass home! I’m gonna fuck your ass up! Get your damn ass in the car and let’s go!” she yells again.

Hassan walked over to his shirt, and picked it up off the ground then walked over to her car. Robyn looked at me while patting her hair down, and orders Hassan to get in the car then speed off down the street. I pulled my car over to the side of the road and sat laughing at what I had just witnessed. Oh my god! What the fuck just happened? I laughed out loud! I was glad as hell that she went after him instead of me. But I’m sure she saw from the look on my face, I didn’t have a clue what was going on. I thought out loud. I have to call somebody and tell them what happened!

Nobody’s ever going to believe me, I laughed to myself! I wanted to call Sean and Monica, but they were on vacation. Nia was at her boyfriend’s for the weekend. And it was a little early to call Ann. After I regained my composure, I realized that I had no idea where in the hell I was. So I sought out the nearest gas station for directions back to the Jersey Turnpike.

Shit! I was excited and pumped up! I laughed all the way home and waited impatiently to tell my story to somebody. It was 7:45 in the morning and I was on the phone. I called Ann’s number and prayed that she’d answered the phone. She answered the phone half asleep with a raspy deep voice. “Hello. Who’s this calling so early?” “Girl, it’s me,” I said. “I’m sorry to call you so early, but it’s real important!” “Is everything okay? What’s wrong?” “Look, make some coffee; this can’t wait! I’ll be over in a few minutes.” I hung up the phone, and made my way across town. Within minutes, I was standing on Ann’s front porch ringing her bell. She opened the door and invited me in. “Okay, so what’s so damn important that you have me up and making coffee at 8AM?” I smiled and walked through the door holding up the pastries. “Girl, Hassan got his ass kicked in front of his house this morning by his GIRLFRIEND.” Ahhhh, shit. Ann yelled. As I began to tell the story, Ann cut the coffee cake while I poured the coffee. She screamed, choked, laughed and cried till her stomach hurt. “I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe. Stop! Ahhh . . . Don’t say another word,” she yelled. “Let me catch my breath.” A few minutes later, she asked me to repeat the story again and we laughed all over again.

Even though the situation was frightening and scary to be in, I was thankful that she took her frustrations out on Hassan instead of me. Not too many times women go straight to the source, which is usually the man or her man. He knows that he has a girlfriend. He knows he’s wrong and most time he knows he wouldn’t be in that situation if he hadn’t lied and fucked around! Oh well, I guess it was better to find out this way than to be embarrassed in front of my family and friends. I began thinking about my life and started to cry. I’d meet a guy, date a few months, and he’d either go back to his ex-girlfriend (for the sake of the kids) or I’d find out that he’s sneaking around with another woman. What the fuck!

Men talk about finding a good woman. Well, where in the hell are they looking? I’m right here! I thought to myself. Was I wrong to want a relationship? And why was I the only one without someone to love? It was as if every relationship soured before it got started, and I didn’t know why, I thought to myself. None of my friends knew how I truly felt and no one was the wiser. I guess because I showed confidence and displayed a “Don’t-give-a-shit attitude,” they all thought I was strong and invincible. But on the inside I was soft and pink all over. Yes under that tough exterior I was miserable, lonely, and felt empty and incomplete inside. It became difficult for me to attend functions with my friends and family and I became withdrawn. I would make excuses and started taking more and more solo vacations just so I wouldn’t be around my friends who were now all coupled off. I hated my life, and I hated the fact that I was alone. Most of all, I hated that no one wanted to love me back.

One cold afternoon in January while I was in my mind clearing therapy mode (painting my dining room) Nia called and said that she had a surprise for me. “Nia, I’m up on a ladder in the dining room, with a paint brush in my hand, can’t it wait?” I asked. “No,” she replied. “I’ll be over soon.” “Well, I’m just finishing up the final touches to the room and I’m not going to stop and clean up until I’m done so, take me as I am,” I responded back, and then hung up the phone. About fifteen minutes later, as I was climbing down the ladder. Phew I’m finally finished. I said to myself. All of a sudden I heard the roar of a motorcycle pull up in front of my house and stop, and then I heard Nia’s familiar voice. Then the door bell rang. I closed the top of the paint can and placed the paint brush on the paint tray and walked slowly to the front door. I peeked through the curtains to see Nia and a guy with a motorcycle helmet in his hands “Hey, girl, open up, you can stop your self inflicted therapy session for 5 minutes. I want you to meet someone,” She yelled. I opened the door, and she sashayed through the porch and into the living room followed by the guy with the motorcycle helmet. “Haley, this is my friend that I grew up with. This is Max. Max, this is Haley. As you can see, he has a motorcycle, in fact he has two. Nia said braggingly. I told him about you and your desire to buy your own motorcycle and decided to pay you a quick visit while we were out riding around. I know you don’t know a lot about them so maybe; Max can help you out a little and give you some pointers. When you’re ready to shop for your motorcycle silly, uh what do you say? Nia said all of that without taking a breath. Then she looked at me with a smile then broke out into laughter. I wiped my hands on my shorts, extended my hand to Max and then invited them in as we all laughed at Nia’s silliness.

I was a mess. I had on cut-off jeans with a million holes and a raggedy tee shirt on that barely covered my breast. My hair was under an old faded bandana, and I had on my old ass run down sneakers. Hell, I was in my house, and I was finishing up the final touches to the dining room. They followed me through the living room and into the kitchen. I offered them to take a seat and walked to the sink. As I washed my hands, I could see Nia’s and Max’s reflection in the window. Max was looking me up and down while giving Nia a nod of approval. I turned around and said. I’m glad that the two of you stopped by. I’ve been working for the past couple of hours and just finished and thirsty as hell. Then I offered them something cool and refreshing to drink. In unison the both said yea! I turned around and quickly whipped up a pitcher of my famous lemonade. Nia excused herself from the kitchen table and checked out my paintjob in the dining room as she pretended to make an important call. As I pulled the lemons from the refrigerator, Max sat quietly and watched me squeeze the lemons. Say, Haley. You’re going to make lemonade from scratch? He asked. I certainly am. I bragged. Damn. I didn’t think anyone made stuff like that from scratch anymore. Everything now is concentrate, or some other shit like that, that’s interesting Max commented.

Max was attractive but not really my type. But there was some sort of attraction. Max is about six feet -two, thin, no I take that back, he’s skinny as hell, bald, light skinned with round eyes and had one hell of a knock out smile. After I finished adding all the ingredients, I poured him a glass. He took a long sip and smiled. Damn, that’s good. In fact that’s great! We were both a little more relaxed and I sat down and started talking. Max was interesting, I must admit, the more we talked, the more I liked the guy. I dismissed the thought of Max being anything but a mere acquaintance, he’s not my type, I thought to myself. Then it came to me, like a light bulb going off in my brain. Maybe I’d have better luck with men if I changed up my standards from the normal mold. I thought. Yea, maybe that’s it! I’m always attracted to those tall, dark, muscular, well built, handsome, deep voiced men. So maybe if I change the blueprint I might get favorable results. “So, Nia tells me, you’re interested in buying a motorcycle,” Max asked. I looked at Max with a devilish grin. Yeah, I replied. I plan on buying one before the end of spring. The only thing is, I don’t know much about them,” I replied. Max reeled back in his chair and sat up then replied. “Well, if you don’t mind I might be of some help to you. In fact, there’s a bike show in Manhattan at the Javits Center this weekend, if you’re not busy maybe we can go together. There will be all types of bikes to choose from, sport bikes, cruisers, sport touring bikes, you name it,” he said in a sexy voice. So you have any idea as to what type you’re interested in? Max asked. No I don’t I replied. Well, how about it? Is it a date? Max inquired. “Yes, I’d like that, thanks. I have the weekend off so you have to let me know what day is good for you, and it’s a date,” I responded. Just then Nia walked back into the kitchen and joined us at the table. “So what have the two of you been talking about?” she asked with a sly grin.

Max filled her in on our conversation, and our plans for the bike show in the city. After knocking off the rest of the lemonade, Nia insisted that I put away the paint cans and to take a ride with Max. Max agreed and was thrilled when I said yes. “But you have to give me about an hour. I have to wash and put away the paint, plus I have to take a shower,” I stated. “It’s a deal,” Max replied. By the time I dropped Nia off, fill up my tank and stop off at the bike shop for a quick second, that should give you enough time to get yourself ready.

“Okay, it’s a deal. I said. Nia, let’s get out of here so Haley can get herself ready,” Max replied. Nia stood up, and we all walked to the door. I watched Nia put on her helmet as Max started the bike. He pushed down the rear pegs for Nia’s feet then climbed on the bike first and held out his hand for Nia, to hop on the back. As they pulled away, he tooted the horn, and Nia raised her arm to wave good-bye. An hour later, Max was back and ready to take a ride. I walked outside and stood patiently as Max checked the strap on my helmet as I zipped up my jacket.

He zipped up his jacket threw his leg over the seat and maneuvered his body around until he was comfortable then motioned for me to step on the rear peg and hop on. I leaned my breast on his back and placed my arms around his waist. He stood the bike up and kicked up the side stand, knocked the bike in gear then slowly pulled off down the street. We jumped on the parkway and headed toward Manhattan. We flew down the Grand Central Parkway then looped onto the Long Island Expressway and rode through Midtown Tunnel with the greatest of ease. Max was an excellent rider. In fact, he was better than anyone else I had ever ridden with. We rode through the west village and decided to stop and grab a bite to eat at a diner. He pulled up to the curb and backed it in. Max pulled off his helmet and turned off the bike. When we got off the bike, he turned to me and unsnapped my helmet. He stood close to me and caressed my face and gave me a warm smile. I thought that he was going to kiss me and was relieved when he didn’t. “Are you ready, beautiful?” he asked. “Yes, I am, are you?” I said, laughing.

After eating a couple of burgers, we decided to go window shopping and walk around for a while. Two hours later, we decided to head back to the bike and go home. We grabbed the helmets off the back of the bike, zipped up our jackets mounted the bike and took off. As we drove down Houston Street, I rested my head on his back and squeezed my arms tightly around his waist. I was so comfortable and confident in his driving skills; I decided to close my eyes, bask in the moment and held on tight. The next time I opened my eyes, Max was pulling into my driveway. He turned off the bike and got off first, then he held his hand out and helped me down. He waited for me to untie my helmet then secured it on the rear seat of his bike. “Uh, Haley, if you’re free tomorrow, would you like to have dinner with me?” Max asked. I turned to Max smiled and replied with a yes. He kissed my hand and said good night. Then he mounted his bike and rode off into the night. Hobbs greeted me as soon as I opened the door. He motioned for me to let him out and ran to the back door. No sooner than I kicked off my shoes and fixed myself a bowl of ice cream, Hobbs was at the door and ready to come back in. I turned off the lights and turned on the alarm then raced him up the stairs.

Beep, beep, beep, damn, this traffic has got to go, I thought to myself. I had one more exit on the NYS Thruway to go, and I’d be at the state capitol. My boss and I were on our way to the state capitol for the next few days, and I was exhausted from the long drive. Our first series of meetings was scheduled for ten-thirty, and we had arrived in plenty of time to unwind before they started. The senator insisted on going to his office first to catch up on a few calls. That gave me time to check-in at the Marriott Hotel and get myself settled before my day started. We were scheduled for two meetings that afternoon followed by a dinner engagement at 8 PM.

Just before the meeting, I received a call from Max. He wanted to know if I had arrived in Albany safely and to say hello. “Listen, Max, I’m staying at the Marriott in room 2912, and here’s the number. I don’t know about you, but my cell phone bill is outrageous, so call me from a land line after 11 PM. Okay.” “That’s a plan. How was your ride up? Did you hit a lot of traffic?” He asked. “Hell, yeah,” I said. I looked at my watch and realized that it was time to meet up with the senator. “Look, I’ve got to run, sorry I can’t talk longer, but I’ve got to run.” “Okay,” he said then hung up.

My second meeting of the day took up most of the afternoon, and I was exhausted by the time it came to a close. I asked my boss if he’d mind if I headed for my room and passed up the dinner reception. “No, Haley, go ahead. If I go myself, I won’t be long either,” he replied and waved me off. I left the Capitol building and headed for my hotel. I walked straight through the lobby and up to my suite without stopping. As I opened the door to my room and turned on the lights, I could smell the sweet aroma of jasmine. I looked around and saw the largest bouquet of mixed flowers sitting on my coffee table. I walked over to them and grabbed the card.

Haley,

Thank you for the wonderful evening the other night, I enjoyed your company. The sadness in your eyes touched my soul. I would love to be the one to make them sparkle and come alive. I’ve been thinking about you since. I’m looking forward to our next date, till then,

Max

Damn, nice impression and great taste in flowers. I thought to myself. Maybe it was a good idea to change my man blueprints. Let me call this man right now and thank him for the wonderful and sweet gesture. I walked over to the phone and called him. “Hello, Max. I’m sorry to be calling you so late, but I just got back to my room. Thank you so much for the lovely bouquet of flowers,” I whispered in my sexiest voice. “Hmmmm, that’s okay that you woke me up. I was sure I could make those pretty eyes of yours sparkle and to make you smile, and did I accomplish that? He asked? Wait, before you answer that, could you tell me why there’s so much sadness in your eyes?” Max asked. I began to choke up. “Max, I think that’s a conversation we’ll have another time. Okay?” I replied. “Okay, no pressure. I just think you’re too beautiful to have such sadness in those eyes. I’m not going to keep you; I know you had a long day. I’ll see you Sunday. Good night,” then, and hung up. Tears started to fill my eyes as I pulled a flower from the vase. I lay across the bed and wondered what kind of guy this Max was. I thought to myself. Is he really a nice guy? Does he also have bad luck with women cheating on him and fooling around like I have with men? Or is he a scumbag and uses women until he breaks their spirit? Is he another lying asshole that fucks up every relationship he’s in and blames everyone else when he get caught in his lies? Or is he a self indulging motherfucker who’s only out for himself? Oh, well, let me stop second guessing the guy and give him the benefit of doubt. I thought to myself, I was getting myself sick and decided to see what happens. I turned off the light and fell asleep.

I woke up around 9 AM and started repacking my overnight bag. The senator’s flight for Washington DC was scheduled for 1 PM, and I had plenty of time to go over last-minute details with him. I called Washington DC to find out that our two-day conference was rescheduled for the following month. So we could head home ahead of schedule. The senator decided that he wanted to get back to New York faster than we arrived so we took a flight back instead of making that four-hour drive. We landed at JFK International Airport just before midnight and were met by another staff member to bring us back to the office. While I stayed at the office to look over my next week’s appointments, the senator was driven to his residence.

I left the office somewhere around 3 AM and headed home for much-needed rest. I walked in the door and headed straight for the refrigerator. I heated up some leftovers and made myself a cup of coffee while I sorted through my mail. Then I dragged myself up the stairs and got ready for bed. Sometime that next afternoon I called Max and let him know that I was home. We made plans for that evening and decided on dinner and a movie. Max picked me up around 6 PM and took me to a quaint little restaurant in Manhattan.

During dinner, he did something unexpected that touched me. Max took the cork from the bottle of wine that we had ordered, pulled out a pen, and wrote the date and our names on it. Then he placed the cork in my hands and smiled. Then he said, “There will be more of these to come.” Then he smiled. When we got back to my house, he kissed me ever so gently and held me tight. “Would you mind if I spend the night with you?” Max asked. It had been awhile since I was with a man and decided to go for it even though it was against my better judgment. So I showed Max up to my bedroom, turned on the stereo, and put on soft music. I walked over to my dresser, lit two scented candles, and then walked over to Max. He kissed my lips then moved to my neck then my breast, nibbling, sucking, and tickling me with his tongue. He carefully undressed me until I stood before him naked. He walked me into the bathroom, and we showered together.

After we showered, he stepped out of the tub and reached for a towel and began to towel me off. He knelt down on his knees in front of me and placed my leg over his shoulder and began to lick my inner thighs. I placed my hands on top of his head to steady my balance and leaned back. He flicked his tongue across my clitoris and darted his tongue in and out between my lips till I began to shake. After a few moments, Max gently lifted my leg from his shoulders then stood up. He took me by the hand then led me into the bedroom. Then he picked me up and ever so gently placed me on the bed and began to kiss me as he climbed on top. He fumbled around a few minutes as he ripped open the condom then placed it around his swollen penis.

He tried to enter my vagina with a thrust that would have torn my delicate walls. “Oh . . .” I moaned as I grabbed his arm. “Gently,” I yelled. He slowed down and repositioned himself and tried it again. His initial entry was a little rough but then he relaxed, and I was able to open my legs wider. I can’t tell you how many orgasms I had that night, I lost count. All know is, I was exhausted when we finished some two hours later. The following day, we went to the bike party somewhere in Brooklyn and had a ball.

Eight weeks later, Max and I went to a bike shop in Queens, and I purchased my first bike. It was beautiful; I picked out a sixteen valve, 599cc, inline four, twin ram air induction, six speed gear box monster! The color was burnt orange, with a hint of gray with chromed out wheels. I was so proud! Since Max was so knowledgeable about bikes and had ridden most of his life, I let Max do all the talking with the salesmen. The salesmen agreed on a few modifications and changed the pipes, brakes, and brake-lines for a modest price. When the modifications were completed, the owner of the shop called and asked me if I would like to pick it up or have it delivered. You deliver? I asked. Yes we do. He replied. Well. Then, please deliver my precious bike to me please. I replied. We agreed on a time and date then hung up. I immediately called Max. Max! My bike will be delivered this Friday after 3PM, please come by and celebrate with me. I asked. Sure I will. He replied. Max knew that I had not ridden a bike in a long time and was glad that I was having the bike delivered. When it arrived that Friday afternoon he looked over the bike to make sure everything was changed to his instructions and gave the deliveryman a tip. He became my lover and mentor all rolled into one and patiently taught me how to be a safe rider.

It took me a little time to get the hang of riding my motorcycle. Looking back, I was a mess! The first week I had my bike I rode it up and down my driveway, because I was afraid to ride it in the street. The second week, I graduated from my driveway to driving it up and down my block, wobbling every step of the way. Then one day, I grew balls and turned the corner and around the block I went! I practiced with Max every day that the sun shined, and he was available. When the traffic died down at night he would take me to vacant parking lots and make me practice taking off, stopping, and turning until I was road worthy. He was patient with me from the first time I wobbled onto the Southern State Parkway till the time the cops stopped him because I was speeding. I was happy, very happy! I had a man in my life. I was happy to be dating a guy who was into me and we enjoyed the same things I did. I felt as if my life had turned around, and I was headed in the right direction. Max unofficially moved in with me that summer. What I mean by unofficially is, I didn’t give him keys to my house right away. He would patiently wait for me outside till I got home from work and after five months I made it official, I gave him the keys. After that, we became inseparable.

Previous to meeting Max, I had planned on attending a six-day family reunion cruise and was unable to include him on the vacation after we met. I would be leaving in a few days and suggested that he join me after the ship disembarked in Louisiana. He agreed and promised to take care of Hobbs while I was gone. That following Saturday, I was off for the reunion. The separation anxiety I was having was awful. I almost couldn’t enjoy myself. Late at night, while everyone else was having fun either gambling in the casino or watching a show, I was in the internet room writing to Max. I wanted to enjoy my vacation, but I also wanted to be with my man. I wanted to make love to Max and fall asleep in his arms. The reunion turned out better than I ever expected it to be. I had so much fun with my family. We sailed the Caribbean in style.

As fast as it started was as fast as it ended, and I was headed home. I was excited and couldn’t wait to see Max. After we docked and I searched the endless rows of luggage for my bags, I rushed out of the terminal searching for his face. As soon as I spotted him, I called his name out loud, dropped my bags, and ran into his arms. As we kissed, I told him that I miss him so much and to get me home in a hurry. When we walked in the house, I gave Hobbs a big hug and two of his favorite treats then put him outside while Max brought my luggage in. No sooner than he dropped my bags on the floor, I was all over him. I undress Max in the living room, and we made love on the couch. Phew!

Things were going good for us. Every now and then we’d have a little tiff, but don’t all couples have their good and bad days? From my perspective, I wanted this to last, I wanted to go to the wire with this man and make it work. Here, it was the end of the fall, and we were going stronger than ever. I learned so much from Max, and I felt honored to be his girlfriend.

Even though I knew that I loved him, I wasn’t in love and I was afraid to tell him that. Anyway, as far as he was concerned he was my knight in leather armor. Yes, he was my bike instructor, my mechanic, my friend, he was witty and a fun loving man, and he was all mine or so I thought! One night while we were shopping, we got into an ugly argument inside a store, and it blew out of proportion. I was mad at him, and he was mad at me. When he drove me home, he refused to come in and decided that he’d go back to his father’s house for the night. Being stubborn as I sometimes can be, I refused to take any of his calls the next couple of days. After realizing how silly I was and missing him, I made the first move and called him. “Max, we have to talk,” I said quietly. “Please come over tonight, I want to talk to you.” “Okay, I’ll be there in an hour,” he said, and then hung up. When he arrived, I met him at the door with a big hug and kiss. “Honey, it doesn’t matter anymore what happened and who was right or who was wrong. All I want right now is to be together, besides, I miss you,” he said.

Max held me close, and I had my man back in my arms again. Things went back to normal, and we were once again playing house.

The Christmas holidays were fast approaching, and I wanted to plan something special. But the plans were changed due to an unexpected emergency. Money was tight for both of us, and I didn’t want Christmas to become a financial burden. So I postponed my surprise for another time. At the last minute, I came up with some unexpected coins and was able to purchase Max that motorcycle jacket he’d been eyeing all summer. It wasn’t what I originally planned, but it was a nice gift. And as far as Max goes, even if he could or could not afford to buy me an expensive gift, his love for me was enough. Even though I knew that I wasn’t in love with him things between us were slowly headed in that direction.

I can’t begin to tell you how many times, he told me that he loved me. I was tongue tied and couldn’t get the words out. Sometimes while we were in bed, I would watch him sleep, and whisper ever so softly in his ear. “I love you, Max, but I’m not in love.” I wanted to open up to him but afraid my fears would come alive, and Max and I would fall apart. But I was determined to be strong, and maybe one day my heart would feel that way,

“Good morning, honey, wake up,” I said. “I wish we could stay in bed longer, but I have to get up,” I said while giving him a big hug. Max rolled over and said that he wanted to catch a few more hours of sleep. So I showered, dressed, and kissed him on the forehead as I headed out the door. Around noon I called Max. “Hey, honey, please do me a favor on your way home?” I asked. “Would you please stop at the liquor store and pick up a bottle of champagne for tonight. I think we’re running low, and I want to bring in the New Year in style.”

That’s when my world came crashing down again. “Uh, Haley, I have plans for tonight. I’ve been invited to a party, and I wasn’t planning on going with you,” he said. Stunned by what I had just heard. I asked Max to repeat what he had just said. “I can’t talk to you about it now. I’ll call you later,” and then hung up the phone. I became flushed and my fears almost knocked me over. “Oh, no, not again, it can’t be,” I said out loud. I began to cry, and I couldn’t breathe. I reached for my keys and asthma pump and walked out of the office without being noticed. I called my boss from my car and told him that I had an emergency and that I was going home.

I drove straight to Max’s father’s house and found him just in time. He was in his car and backing out the driveway when I pulled up behind him and blocked him in. “Max, what’s going on?” I asked as I walked up to his car. “Uh . . . would you like to come inside the house?” he asked. I agreed and walked slowly into the house and sat on the couch as Max sat next to me with his head down. “Well, I thought you and your friends were going out this evening together, and I decided to make other plans and to go out with my friends,” he answered. “I’m not going out with my friends,” I said sharply. “Besides, this is New Year’s Eve. I’m supposed to be with you, and you’re the only one I want to spend New Year’s Eve with,” I said. “Well, if you’re invited to a party, they know about me, right?” Max looked at me and replied, “Yes.” “So, why don’t we go to the party together?” I replied. As soon as I said that, I could see the blood drain from his face and decided to wait for his reply before I hit the ceiling. Max held his breath then brought me to tears. “Haley, my daughter’s mother invited me to a party, and I don’t think you’d be comfortable there.” “Oh, hell no, I’m not going down like that again,” I said to myself. I looked Max eye to eye and realized that there was more to the story. “Are you sleeping with her again? Have you fucked her?” I asked as my voice started getting louder!

Just then the house phone rang, and when he didn’t answer it, his cell phone started ringing. Then, they started ringing at the same time. “What’s up with the phone?” I asked. “Aren’t you going to answer it?” He looked at me and began telling me how they had gone out a couple of times while he was seeing and sleeping with me. “The ringing phones are getting on my nerves,” I yelled. “I don’t give a fuck what you tell that bitch on the phone, but you better tell her that your girlfriend said “That you’re not going to no fucking party tonight!”

“Tell her,” I yelled. “Tell her that since she’s the other woman on the down low, she doesn’t get holidays! And you’re staying with me tonight!” Tears welled up in my eyes, and I sat on the couch with my head in my hands while Max answered the phone. I heard him tell the girl on the phone that his plans had changed, and he wasn’t going to make it to the party, then he hung up. I was so enraged with anger; I wanted to forfeit my freedom and cause bodily harm to his arrogant ass. Max tried to lie about the affair but didn’t do a good job. My head was spinning, and my heart felt as if it were about to explode. “Max, I have to get out of here,” I said. Then I stood up and walked to the door. “Baby, it’s not like that, I’ll prove it to you,” he said. “We’ll be together tonight. Let me run inside and pack some clothes, and I’ll order something to eat, and we’ll have New Year together.” I looked at Max, and then walked out the door. I knew my mind wasn’t into driving, and I prayed that I got home safely. No sooner did I pull up in my driveway, Max was pulling up behind my car. We walked into the house together and sat quietly in the kitchen. In the meantime, his phone was still ringing, nonstop. He got smart and realized that this chick wasn’t going to stop calling and turned his phone off. Max knew that he fucked up and now had to redeem himself. He told me that he had run into her a couple of times. “When was that? I shouted. When did you run into her and where were you?” I asked. Max looked at me then turned away. “I ran into her while you were on your family reunion vacation,” Max replied. “I didn’t know where we were going with our relationship so when I ran into her, I asked her out a couple of times,” he said. “Oh, So you need a spare tire while I was away with my family?” I asked. “No, I don’t know, it just happened,” Max said.

I was so pissed off that I couldn’t think straight. As I got up from the table, I accidentally knocked over the ashtray and turned over the sugar bowl, spilling everything on the floor. “Shit!” I yelled. “I’ll clean it up,” Max said. “No, that’s okay. I’ll do it,” and walked to the closet and pulled out the vacuum. I rolled it into the kitchen and turned it on while Max cleaned off the table. It took me about three minutes to get the floor clean of sugar and cigarette butts. As I rolled the vacuum back into the hall closet, I smelled smoke. I looked around and didn’t notice anything burning, then all of a sudden. Poof, the bag inside my vacuum cleaner was a blaze and the vacuum cleaner was on fire. I screamed and pushed it back through the dining room and into the kitchen. Max turned around just in time to see a streak of fire run up my sleeve. I quickly ripped off my shirt, and threw it to the floor, then I grabbed for the spray hose and turned on the water. Max pushed me out the way then picked up the vacuum cleaner by the handle and threw it out the back door. My whole house was now filled with smoke, and my smoke detectors were ringing to beat the band.

We opened the windows and doors and aired the house out then ended up laughing about the whole vacuum cleaner ordeal. Max opened up to me and asked me to forgive him. “Baby, I’m sorry that I hurt you, but you never seemed to be into me, and I want to be loved. Every tine I told you that I loved you, you’d look at me and smile, but you never told me how you felt. So I assumed you didn’t. I love you, can we please work it out,” Max asked. I didn’t want to go into the New Year with hurt and hatred in my heart, and agreed to work it out with Max. We decided to start the year off on a clean slate and become a stronger and happier couple. So the rest of the night, we played music and watched TV until the ball dropped. Then we went upstairs to bed. I guess he thought we’d have make-up sex but boy was he wrong.

The next morning, New Year’s Day was part two from hell, and it came crashing down like a ton of bricks. We woke up sometime around 9 AM and wished each other a Happy New Year. Max was anxious to call his dad and the rest of his family and to also wish them a Happy New Year. As soon as he turned his phone on, it rang. I turned over and looked at him and sat up in the bed. “Is that her?” I asked. Max looked at me with his mouth wide open and then looked at the phone. “Answer it, and make sure the speaker phone is on. I want to hear this bitch, and I want her to hear me!” I said with venom spewing from my lips. Max looked horrified and complied.

“Hello,” he answered. All I could hear was a female screaming and cursing at the top of her lungs. When she came up for air and stopped screaming, Max told her that she was on the speaker phone and that I was listening to their conversation. Confidently, Max said “Haley and I are together, and what happened between us was a mistake. I didn’t mean to mislead you or give you the impression that we were going to work things out between us. I told Haley that we went on a few dates, so please leave us alone.”

I sat up in the bed and propped up my pillows behind me. Max was trying hard to convince me that he was innocent, and I started to believe his story. It was a strong and direct statement that he just spewed out to her, and if she wasn’t a stalker, she’d leave him alone. “What! What? What? Can she hear me? Is she on the phone right now?” the girl asked. “Yeah, she can hear you, you’re on the speaker phone, and Haley is right beside me,” Max again stated. “Oh, yeah mother fucker. She yelled back. Well, Haley, did Max tell you that we were sleeping together again? Did he tell you that we fuck all the time now? Did he tell you that we drive around in your new fancy car while you were away on business trips or when you’re on vacation? Did he tell you that I was pregnant?” she yelled.

I froze. I couldn’t move, and I couldn’t talk. My body began to sweat, and I saw red. I became flush, and I started feeling pains in my chest. Rage filled my eyes and I was on the verge of snapping. Max yelled, “Pregnant! How are you pregnant?” He started to argue with her then looked over at me. I had gotten out of bed and headed for the window. I opened the window as wide as I could then I grabbed as much of his shit as I could hold in my arms and in one swoop tossed everything out. I began grabbing everything and anything that was his and out it went. He hung up the phone in a hurry and ran over to the window to close it. “Baby, she lying,” he said. I had to struggle to get the words out, and when I finally did all I could do was to say why. “Why, Max? Get the rest of your things, and get the fuck out.” I wanted to slap, punch, kick, bite, shoot and stab him. I wanted to set his body on fire while he was tied to a chair. I wanted to slice his body a thousand times and watch him slowly bleed to death. I wanted Max to feel pain, and I wanted him to hurt.

But instead, I remembered my demons and cried aloud. “Why is it so hard for me to find a man I can trust? Why didn’t you just leave me alone, when you really wanted to be with her? What did I ever do to you, for you to treat me like this? If you just wanted to fuck me and not have a relationship, you should have said that from the beginning. I might have fucked you, and I might not have! But be honest, for goodness sake! Unfortunately and sad to say, there are a million women out there who’d fuck someone’s man because the man says he’s not happy! Is that it? You’re not happy? I yelled. I just don’t understand why lie about your intentions! Max, maybe someday you’ll realize that the word ‘love’ it’s not just a word you say or use casually. The word means that you have or share an intense affection with someone. How dare you say that you love me and treat me like this! I said annoyingly. Maybe one day you’ll be honest and stop telling those senseless lies and that you’ll think about someone else’s feelings before you hurt them. Maybe your life will be nothing more than a lie!” I yelled.

“I was warned by more people than you can imagine about you being a compulsive liar, but I didn’t want to believe them, and I’m sorry I didn’t listen, it would have saved me time and heartache.” Max lowered his head, picked up his things and then walked to the door. He turned around and said, “I’m sorry that you found out this way. I tried to end it with her, but I didn’t know how.” He said, “Your motorcycle is at my house. You can come and get it or if you want to leave it at my dads until you make room in your garage that will be fine too.” “Just get the fuck out!” I yelled. “I’ll pick up my bike as soon as I can, you can leave it outside, and I’ll pick it up within the hour!” I screamed. As soon as Max walked out the door, I walked out to the garage and made room for it in the garage . . . Then I called a cab and went to his father’s house to bring my bike home. When I pulled up to the house Max was opening the garage door. Haley, are you sure that you want to take you bike home? It’s ok if you want to leave it here. Max stated. Thanks, but all I want to do now is to steer clear of you and I’ll take my bike right now. Max rolled my bike out of the garage as I placed my helmet and gloves on. I turned the key to let it warm up a little, and then I took off. Usually there’s snow on the ground in January in New York. Thank goodness that the roads were clean and clear of debris.

When I got home I pulled into my garage, chained and covered it up. Then I called my boss and burst into tears when he answered the phone. When I regained my composure, I told him an abbreviated version of the story and asked for sometime off. “Haley, if there’s anything I can do, just let me know. Go ahead and take sometime off, the office will be okay,” he replied.

The next day, I got rid of all my sheets and comforters, and purchased new ones. I didn’t want anything on my bed that we had slept on. I threw out everything on his side of the medicine cabinet and restocked it with my toiletries. I checked my bank account and paid my bills for the next three months in advance. Then I called Nia and asked if she could stay at my house and take care of Hobbs for a while and she agreed. I checked the Internet for last minute vacation packages, packed a bag, and then headed for the airport. I needed to clear my head. I had to stop thinking about the demons that were controlling my life. I had to slay them all and take control of my happiness.

I managed to get a flight on standby and flew to Barbados that evening. I stayed in an upscale resort on Maxwell Coast Road and kept to myself during my stay. I decided to take one day at a time and to relax and to clear my head. I meditated everyday and thanked God for the things I accomplished in my life. During the day I ran on the beach and, took long walks. At night I dined and went dancing. I got my thoughts together and was able to shed my demons that had haunted my life. I felt revived and ready to take on the world. I wasn’t going to let Max or any other man take away my sunshine. I began to walk with my head up high, and I promised myself never to stress over a man again.

When I returned home a week later, I decided to give my home a thorough cleaning and came across some of Max’s belongings that I had missed. I packed them in a box and decided that I would drop it off before the days end. After I finished cleaning I noticed that I was running low on one of my favorite perfumes and decided to treat myself to a new bottle. So I showered and put on a nice pair a jeans and top then hit the mall. While I was at the counter sampling new fragrances, two of Max’s friends spotted me and walked over. “Hey, aren’t you Haley, Max’s girlfriend?” they asked. I looked up and acknowledged my acquaintance with Max. “Yes, but were no longer together.” “Oh,” one man said in surprise. “Damn, Max is always fucking up. We’ve known him a long time, and he’s always doing stupid shit. Well, it was nice to see you,” and then they walked away. I shook it off and continued my shopping. When I was finished I drove to Max’s house and left the package on the front step got back in my car and drove home.

I lit a fire in the fireplace then curled up on the couch and turned on the TV. I looked at Hobbs and gave him a big hug. I had to get reacquainted with living alone, and this time, I was going to take my time. Two months later, Hobbs died from old age. I was devastated and now all alone in the house. So I put my nose into my work and socialized only when necessary, Christmas, Thanksgiving, and maybe Mother’s day. Just short of that I was either at work or home. My friends were busy with their lives but always kept in touch and in contact with me.

I met a couple of guys here and there but shied away from any serious involvement. I decided to give celibacy a try and I am doing great. Just as long as I have no physical contact with men, I’m fine. That means, no hugs, and definitely no kissing, that’s out of the question. I can resist anything but temptation. I know me, if I allowed myself to indulge in that one kiss, especially if it was an intense one. It’s a wrap. So for the most part I stay away from any physical contact. In fact, I think its best.

Anyway, I stayed in a slump for a week or two then I snapped out of it. I had received a substantial bonus from work and decided that I’d treat myself to a new car. So I called Nia and Monica and a shopping we went. I finally decided on a pewter and cream SL 500. Then I decided to have an impromptu dinner party that weekend and to invite my friends over for a night of fun. I went food shopping and decided to put my culinary skills to work. Toni, Nia, and Monica pitched in and helped me prepare a scrumptious six-course meal with all the fixings.

Just as I was just about to remove the cheese cake from the oven my phone rang. I walked over to it and picked it up on the third ring. “Hello,” I answered. There was a long pause on the other end. Then I heard the caller whispered back, baby, I finally figured out why God brought us together.” I smiled and placed the phone against my breast then replied, “Here I go again.

Oh lord, help me keep my panties on!”

Table of Contents

Cover Page

Oh Lord, Help Me Keep My Panties On

Copyright Page

Table of Content

Dedication

PREFACE