Table of Contents

Title page

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

THIRTEEN

www.beautifultroublepublishing.com

Copyright © 2011 by Thirteen

All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or shared in any form, including but not limited to: printing, photocopying, faxing, recording, electronic transmission, or by any information storage or retrieval system without prior written permission from the authors or holders of the copyright.

This book is a work of fiction. References may be made to locations and historical events; however, names, characters, places and incidents are the products of the author’s imagination and/or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons (living or dead), businesses, events or locales is either used fictitiously or coincidental. All trademarks, service marks, registered trademarks, and registered service marks are the property of their respective owners and are used herein for identification purposes only.

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www.beautifultroublepublishing.com

Cover Art: Marteeka Karland

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Proofreader: Novellette Whyte

http://authorgurunovellette.blogspot.com/

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E-book Conversion: Jim & Zetta, http://www.jimandzetta.com/

ISBN: (e-book) 978-1-61788-193-0; (print) 978-1-61788-194-7

To Rob, a man of honesty and candor. I knew this story rang true when you named it your favorite.

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CAVEAT

This work of erotica contains adult language and sexually explicit scenes, which are smoking hot. This book is intended only for adults, as it is defined by the laws of the country in which the purchase is made. Keep this book out of the hands of under-aged readers.

CHAPTER ONE

“Liars!” It was the high-watermark at Bud’s Basement, that hour when the bar was almost a quarter full; which meant that a few of the chipped, Formica tables were occupied and most of the nine bar stools were taken. The night wasn’t old, but it was no longer young, and Roy was finishing off his second shot of tequila. “All women are fucking liars. It’s all we ever get from them.”

“Tell it buddy!” That from a trio of beer-guzzlers at one of the tables. Roy knew they were mocking him; that was to be expected at a dive like Bud’s. Usually he haunted hotel bars, but tonight he wanted to get drunk and the dingy “Basement” was a very good place to get drunk. It was also a place where he could rant and no one would give a shit.

“Airbrushed lies in magazines,” he went on, “corseted-mascaraed lies on dates. Lies about what they like. About what they want.”

“Yeah!” His new buddies raised their mugs to him.

“‘Are you happy?’ you ask them,” Roy pointed to his empty glass and the jaded bartender obligingly poured him another finger of Curveo Gold. “‘Of course, I’m happy,’ they tell you. Next thing you know, they’ve left you for some asshole with a bigger bank account. Why? ‘Cause you’re not making them happy! Liars!”

“And you guys are so up front?” a woman’s voice suddenly demanded.

Roy straightened up. What the hell? “I beg your pardon?” he snapped.

“The first thing every asshole in high school learns to say to a girl is ‘I love you,’ instead of ‘I want to fuck you,” she went on, and that’s when he saw her. The bar was a half-square shape and she was seated at the corner opposite him, a raven-haired woman in an ivory colored dress.

“Whoa.” There were a couple of ladies at the billiards table knocking about the balls. They’d been pointedly ignoring Roy, but now they were looking up. The one who’d spoken was grinning.

“Oh, and talk about hiding your feelings—” the woman at the bar continued, gold earrings swinging. “That’s all men ever do. They won’t tell you what they’re thinking or feeling or want or need. It’s not ‘manly.’ Not manly. That’s just an excuse for keeping secrets.”

“Oooo!” approved the ladies at the billiard table. “You go girl!”

Roy scowled. He wasn’t about to let some cunt ruin his tirade. “Better than hiding the truth behind all those gushing confessions,” he lobbed back. “‘I want more tenderness. I want more attention. I want more pretty things.’ And what she really wants is to fuck someone else!”

“Score!” One of the beer guys hooted.

“Oh, please,” the woman at the bar sneered. “You guys do exactly the same thing. ‘Wear this, it’s sexy. Shave your crotch that’s sexy. Act like a slut, that’s so sexy.’ And then you complain that we’re not the girl you fell in love with. Why can’t you just come out and admit you’re tired of us?”

“Gotcha!” a billiard girl crowed.

“At least we give you ladies a chance,” Roy grumbled. “The moment you lay eyes on a guy you’re thinking of ways to change him. Maybe we should start the date by handing you a portfolio? Height, weight, allergies, salary, bad habits. And if you don’t like what you see, the date ends. No need to even try and remodel us.”

“Dude!” another of the beer guys approved.

“Not a bad idea,” the woman, surprisingly, nodded. “Everyone looks so damn good on a first date, wearing their Sunday best, talking themselves up. We should all be required to show ourselves at our worst. Full disclosure. Then we could dump or get dumped before things got serious.”

“Yeah,” Roy found himself agreeing. Maybe it was the tequila, but the more he thought about it, the more sense it made. Brutal honesty. Full disclosure. What would it be like to go on a date like that?

From his front pocket came the sound of a ring. He pulled out his phone and checked the name. He was hoping for a call about an overseas transfer, but this was from one of his well-meaning friends. The ones who kept wanting to know how he was “holding up,” God save him. This was why he was throwing back tequila shots in a dump like Bud’s instead of enjoying cosmopolitans with them.

Roy directed the call to voicemail and slipped the phone back into his pocket. His gaze wandered over to the woman at the corner of the bar. She had black hair—straight or straightened—hanging almost to the shoulder and large hoop-earrings. It was hard to tell as the lighting was poor and she was hunched over her drink, but she didn’t seem bad looking. The more he eyed her, the more the idea took root in his head. After trying without success to shake it, he paid for his drinks, sucked in a breath, adjusted his tie, and slipped off the stool.

Janet felt the contentious bastard coming her way. Sipping at her margarita, she cursed herself for getting his attention, but—damn it!—she’d come here to get quietly drunk, not listen to misogynistic claptrap. Well, she was in it now. She stiffened her spine and readied herself for an all out fight as he stopped beside her and cleared his throat.

“Roy,” he said, and she saw his hand, offered to her quite politely. She hesitated, in part because it was so unexpected, in part because she was suspicious. Would he try to crush her fingers? She’d known idiots who pulled that kind of crap. In the end, however, she was not going to be intimidated. She accepted his grip. The hand was square and fleshy, surprisingly warm and firm. She released it as quickly as she could. “Janet.”

He slipped onto the empty stool next to her. He was one of those square sort of guys, broad in shoulder and chest, average in height. Dark hair fell over a high forehead, and an arrogant nose separated wary eyes. He didn’t look temperamental, not like he’d sounded a moment ago.

“So you got dumped, too?” he ventured.

“End of last month,” Janet said cautiously.

“Beginning of this month for me,” Roy said.

“My condolences,” she muttered, then, warily, “I hope to hell you’re not going to suggest we pair up. Last thing I want to do is go out on a pity date.”

The bitterness in her tone was raw enough to scare Roy. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea? Hmm… and it was a good idea to spend the night getting sick on Tequila?

He licked his lips. “Better than that. I think we ought to go on a Full Disclosure.”

She took a sip of her drink. “Come again?”

“What do you do on a date?”

“Get to know the other person.” She shrugged. “Spend time together.”

“Try to impress each other,” he pointed out. “But here’s my proposal: we do the exact opposite. Instead of presenting our best attributes, we lay out our worst. No trying to fool each other. Complete honesty.”

She had dark, arching butterfly brows. They rose, intrigued. “Okay. And after we know why we don’t want to be with each other, what then?”

“No, no. You don’t get it. We were dumped. And I don’t know about you, but there were all these things that my ex never liked about me. Stuff she was always complaining about and trying to change.”

He heard the ire in his voice and checked it. He didn’t want to scare her away. “I think you and I should build our whole evening around those things. Our flaws and bad habits. Bring it all out into the open. That’s full disclosure. I mean, now that our exes have left us, why bother trying to hide or avoid doing all that shit? It’s not like they’re around to make us feel wrong about it, right?”

“That…that sounds—” she tilted her head and he held his breath ready for the word “ridiculous” “—remarkably therapeutic,” she finished to his surprise, “A big ‘Fuck you!’ to them and their demands.”

“Does that mean you want to do it?”

“Do I want to do it?” she echoed. She had a thoughtful way about her as if she was trying to keep things balanced, but he noticed that a smile was twitching at her lips, and her dark eyes were gleaming. “Why the hell not? I haven’t any other plans.” She drained her margarita. “Where do we start?”

“Where most dates end,” he said, hopping off his barstool. “Come on. We’re going to the bathroom.”

“What?” Janet grabbed onto her seat. The man’s enthusiasm had wooed away her apprehension, even seduced her into feeling devil-may-care—or maybe that was the margaritas. Now, however, her very sober suspicions slammed back into her.

“Nothing’s going to happen,” he sighed, and eyed her as if she were a child scared of jumping off a diving board. “Scout’s honor. Come on. Don’t chicken out.”

Turning from Janet, Roy made for the restroom. Either she was going to follow and they’d do this, or she wouldn’t and he’d wash up and go home. He was almost to the door when he heard her heels clicking behind him. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw her standing a few steps back. She clutched her purse, looking ready to run. There was something both brave and vulnerable about her that touched him and made him want to do right by her. Glancing side to side, he made sure no one was watching, then opened the door and slipped in.

Janet, stung by Roy’s remarks about being chicken, followed him into the bar’s toilet even as she wondered if she was being a total idiot. As bar toilets went, Bud’s wasn’t horrible. Not so good smelling, but fairly big and clean enough. Heart pounding in her ears, she shut and locked the door but kept her back to it, one hand on the knob. Her other hand kept her purse close. She had a can of mace in it; if Roy made one wrong move she’d not only be out of there, but she’d leave him blind and screaming.

In the harsh, bathroom light, Roy finally got a good look at Janet. She appeared to be around his own age, and nearly the same height, probably a bit shorter without the heels. Her figure had a lot of soft curves, very much to his taste, and her off-white dress revealed nice cleavage and smooth, sexy olive skin. Moving up he saw high, elegant cheekbones and full lips. Thick lashes surrounded eyes that were beautifully black, like smoky quartz.

She still had her hand on the doorknob, and Roy, in turn, stayed as far from her as he could in the small restroom. There was no reason she should trust him after the less than sterling first impression he’d made on her. It occurred to him, in fact, that what he was about to do might make an even worse impression. He could end up being kicked in the nuts for this, but like running down hill, he felt it was too late to stop now.

“Okay, first, you need to wash off your make-up,” he said.

“My make-up?” she echoed, and then her expression lightened. “Oh! I get it.” She fished packaged cleansing wipes out of her purse and shifted to the sink.

“Now, I don’t want you to panic,” Roy went on as she erased shadow from her eyelids and lipstick from her mouth, “But I’m going to take off my clothes.”

“What?” She shot a look back at him.

“Nothing’s going to happen,” he insisted. “I know how I sounded out there. But I’m a gentleman. Really.”

He put down the toilet lid, sat and got off his shoes, then his jacket, tie and shirt. As he started to unbuckle his belt, Janet finished up and turned to watch. Her eyes looked less large without the make-up, the lips less full, but her naked face was very nice indeed.

“You take your clothes off, too,” he urged.

“Why?”

“Full disclosure.”

“Look, I don’t want to—”

“Not sex!” Roy sighed, dropping his pants. “Most couples see each other in glamorous clothes, get drunk, go to bed in a dark room. It isn’t till the next morning that they see what they’ve fucked. You are not going to have to do any of that. Full disclosure. I’m going to show you all my imperfections upfront. And I kinda hope you’ll return the favor. Unless you’ve changed your mind?”

There was something in Roy’s voice that made Janet check her impulse to leave and forget all about this screwy idea. The angry tone was back, the one deriding women. Only it didn’t sound merely angry this time, it sounded resigned. He was standing there in his tighty-whiteys, face flushed as if she’d just made a fool of him. If she didn’t go along with this, she would make a fool of him. Hell if she was going to let him think she was like that. She sat down on the toilet seat and removed her shoes and stockings.

“Could you unzip me?” she turned and he obligingly got her out of the dress. The casual intimacy of that moment, as if they were lovers rather than strangers, struck her as bizarre. She hung the dress up on the wall hook, then turned. The quiet between them turned thick, and awkward as they eyed each other in embarrassment. Roy in his briefs, Janet in black panties and bra.

Roy glanced down at his unflattering love handles, at the fur on his belly and legs. Fuck it. “I’ll go first,” he said, shoving down his underwear to expose a nest of pubic hair. His penis and balls had shrunken up, trying to hide away; the rosy tip of his cock peered out. He stood up straight, hands at his sides.

“There,” he said. “This is what I look like. This is me. All my flab and hair and moles and flaws. This is what my ex, Lila, no longer wants to fuck.”

Janet’s eyes flickered up and down, taking him in. Roy felt a flutter in his gut. He’d never been so naked in his life. His courage fled and his throat went tight. He had a sudden fear that Janet was going to laugh. Lila, he mused, would have. And then Janet reached back and snapped off her bra. Her breasts came down, not sagging but past being pert. There were some stretch marks. He saw brown areolas and large, heavy nipples. She slipped off her underwear, exposing a black triangle.

“Here I am,” Janet said as bravely as she could. She would have never imagined the angry guy at the bar could have gotten her to do this—could have amazed her with his boldness into doing it. She turned to display her ass. “This is one of the reasons Billy, my ex, left me. Cottage cheese thighs,” she pointed out, “And this.” Her hand brushed her belly. “I’ve tried everything, diet, exercise. I can shrink it down, but I can’t get it firm. It’s always going to be soft.”

“Hey, I like women with some give,” Roy said, which she thought was very gallant of him. “Shall we get dressed?”

Roy helped Janet snap on her bra and zip up and she handed him his shirt. They were silent and awkward as they tugged and adjusted fabric back into place, she leaving off the stockings, he pocketing the tie. Roy guessed Janet was feeling like he was, uncertain about what they’d just done. Anonymous sex couldn’t have been more intimate.

They got looks as they stepped out of the toilet. Their partisans in particular—the beer drinking guys and the billiard ladies—didn’t seem to know whether to snicker or frown.

What we’re up to is none of your business! Roy almost snapped and protectively took Janet by the arm. She pointed out her coat and he helped her on with it. After getting his on, he held the door open for her and they stepped out into the cool, windy night.

“Where do you live?” Janet asked and looked him in the eye for the first time since the bathroom.

He told her. She nodded sagely. “I think I know what we should do next. We’ll both need to change. You head on home and put on something comfortable. I mean lazy Sunday comfortable. I’ll swing by to pick you up. Have you had dinner?”

“Um, no.” He’d skipped dinner thinking he’d just nosh on happy hour freebies—that was, until he’d seen what Bud’s Basement’s offered on that score and decided to just drink. “Where are we going?”

“Someplace where there’s no hiding from the awful truth.”

CHAPTER TWO

Tricky Dog was certainly the opposite of soft lighting and elegant dining. The tables were small and plastic, as were the chairs.

”Do you like onions?” Janet asked as the counterman set their chilidogs on a second orange tray.

“Love them,” Roy said.

“Pile them on then,” she said, taking up the other tray, the one with drinks and chili-cheese fries. “For both of us. I want us to reek of onions.”

“Yes ma’am!”

Lifting the second tray over to the condiment table, Roy added spoonfuls of chopped onions to the dogs. He was amazed. Janet, now dressed in worn yoga pants and a baggy sweater, was a completely different woman. Cheerful, relaxed, confident. Nothing like the contentious bitch at the tavern.

Janet picked out a table, and Roy reconnected with her there. She couldn’t help but see him in a new light, literally as well as figuratively, as the illumination at Tricky Dog was harsh fluorescents. Wearing tatty jeans, a stained tee-shirt, and hooded sweatshirt, Roy seemed a normal guy. Easy, friendly. Quite a change from the belligerent barfly in the business suit.

“Full disclosure,” she told him, as they settled in their seats. “That means we get to see each other at our messiest. So don’t be afraid to get the food all over your face.”

“Between your teeth!” Roy rejoined, lifting his chilidog in a toast to her. She lifted hers and they jointly bit in. The chili spilled all over the plates. Janet laughed. She had, Roy reflected, a great laugh.

“I’d better warn you,” he said, “I’m waiting for this call about an overseas transfer. So I might have to answer my phone. But I’ll keep it short. I work for a law firm that specializes in global patents—”

“That sounds interesting.”

“It would be,” he shook his head, “except I work in the billings and collections department. Boring, huh?”

“No more boring than what I do,” Janet shrugged. “I’m the multi-media editor for Splendor. You’ve probably never heard of it. It’s a beauty magazine. The poor-girl’s Cosmo. I have to make sure all the pages go the way they should when read on a tablet, all the links are right, that sort of thing.” She snatched up a fry, gooey with cheese and let the tendrils trail over her chin.

“God, this is great,” she said. “Getting naked like that was really tense. But now I feel so free! I mean this—” she touched on the sweater. “Billy hated me in this. He always wanted me looking feminine. And I understand that. I do. I mean, you’ve gotta believe me, most of us women want to get all gussied up for you guys. We like wearing that dress that makes us feel pretty, shoes that get our hips swinging when we walk…but you really can’t wear those things to mop the floor.”

“He treated you differently when you wore that?” Roy guessed.

Her expression grew hurt. “He wouldn’t kiss me or flirt. If I tried to tease him, he ignored me. It was like I’d been transformed into the cleaning lady. Did your girlfriend treat you different when you dressed like that?”

Roy nibbled on a fry. “Lila kept threatening to burn my old tees. She liked to dress me up, and don’t get me wrong, that was fine. It may not seem like it but we guys can get into dressing up, too. You shrug on a pressed suit, put a clip on that silk tie, see the polish on your shoes and you feel like, I dunno, like a king, like your lady’s going to be proud to be seen on your arm. And to be fair, Lila had great taste; what she picked out usually made me look great. But sometimes a guy just wants to get...ratty.”

“Like a girl wants to get floppy,” Janet agreed, biting into her chilidog. She had red stains all about her lips and, from her smile, seemed to know it. “Make sure you eat with your mouth open,” she advised him.

“Will do,” he said crunching loudly on the onions. “Good choice by the way. Lila liked expensive restaurants. She wouldn’t have been caught dead at a place like this. I like upscale dining, too, but now and then I get a hankering for cheap tacos or a sloppy burger.”

“Lila didn’t let you have them?”

“She did, but she let me know that she didn’t approve. I had to sneak around like a drug addict every time I wanted a slice of pizza.”

“It was the opposite with Billy,” Janet sighed. “He’d go for cheap food, he just wouldn’t take me along. Places like this were for him and his buddies, like watching sports on Sunday. I mean, I want you guys to bond, but if your friends can’t come over that Sunday, then why can’t I watch sports with you? I like to watch sports.”

“He didn’t want you there at all?” Roy felt a pang.

“All he’d ever do is complain. ‘The chips are stale!’“ she mimicked an annoyed male voice. “‘Hey, there’re no pickles on this sandwich! The beer isn’t cold enough!’“ She sucked on her soda. “I bet he doesn’t notice if Tiffany leaves the pickles off his sandwich. That’s who he dumped me for. A girl named ‘Tiffany.’ Can you believe it?”

“You brought him sandwiches and beer?” Roy almost moaned aloud. “Jesus. I couldn’t get Lila to fetch me a cola.” He went falsetto: “‘I’m on the phone!’ Get it yourself during the commercial!’ Bitch! She used to call my requests ‘obnoxious demands.’ Can you believe that? Bet she pours Mr. Moneybags a cola. No, wait, he probably has someone to pour it for him so neither of them has to be bothered.”

“Mr. Moneybags?”

“I refuse to say his name.”

“How long were you and Lila together?”

“Year-and-a-half,” Roy muttered, “Give or take.” He finished his chilidog and grabbed paper napkins to wipe at his face. Janet snatched a handful and did the same.

“This would really bug Billy, seeing me use all these napkins,” she observed. “He had this weird idea that it was unladylike for a woman to use more than one. I think it had something to do with dainty eating. Maybe that’s why he went for Tiffany. She doesn’t look like she eats at all. Is that what men really want? To believe that women never eat?”

“Never eat or fart or take a piss,” Roy agreed. “Air brushed girls in men’s magazines never do. Busty girls in raunchy male comedies never do. Our fantasy women never do.”

“Our dream men do eat,” Janet said, “But they never take a shit or belch.” She burped loudly.

Roy gave his own belch. “There. I’m not your dream guy.”

“I’m convinced,” Janet laughed. “Please don’t think you have to show me anything else to prove it.”

Roy chuckled along. It was an honest laughter, not patronizing like Billy’s, Janet thought, leaning back in her chair. God she felt good, and more at ease than she had in weeks. Like herself, too, she realized. “Shall we move on to the next part of our agenda?”

An eager gleam came to Roy’s eyes. “I can’t wait!”

CHAPTER THREE

Roy sat in his underwear on the hotel room bed, clipping at his toenails. He made sure to let the clippings fall onto the rug. “There. I’m getting them all over,” he shouted into the bathroom. “This used to annoy the fuck out of Lila.”

”I can hear the clicking,” Janet acknowledged, then said something more he couldn’t hear. Roy put the clipper on the nightstand and crossed to the bathroom door.

“What?”

Janet was up to her neck in a tub of bubbles, painting her fingernails. The stink of polish mingled with the floral of the bubblebath.

“I asked,” she said, “if you left your clothes all over the floor.”

“Shit. I hung up my shirt. Bad habit I got into with Lila.”

“Well get it down.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He took in the lipstick and make-up containers on the bathroom sink, the pink razors and hotel-provided blow-dryer. Lingerie was draped about. “I see you’ve cluttered up the bathroom good and proper.”

“Exactly as you suggested.” Janet smiled blissfully. “When I was with Billy, I’d take short baths and tuck my stuff away in drawers. But he’d still natter on about how I was monopolizing the bathroom. It was like—like if he saw my stuff, it would ruin the illusion for him. I mean, is that what you guys want? To believe your lady is naturally hairless? Or that her skin doesn’t need any help staying smooth and sweet-smelling?”

“Oh, yes. We want to believe all that and more. Like, that make-up just appears on your faces every morning. Knowing how it’s done ruins the magic.” He grinned. “Also, I think seeing all this—” he waved at the sink, “Makes us feel guilty. We’re forced to realize how much effort you put into looking nice for us.”

“Well, here’s hoping pretty Tiffany leaves mascara and powders and creams everywhere. And that her lipsticks roll onto the floor so Billy ends up stepping on them,” Janet said.

Roy went back to the bedroom. In truth, he found the lingerie and feminine clutter comforting. Annoying as such things could be, they reminded him that a woman was there and he...he really liked that. Getting his tee off the hanger, he dropped it down beside his scattered socks, sweatshirt and jeans. He was about to sit down on the bed, but decided he wanted company. He went back, lowered the toilet lid and took a seat. For a while, he silently clipped at his nails while watching Janet lacquer hers.

“Is the smell of nail polish bothering you?” she asked. “Billy always had me put on the fan.”

“Naw. I think Lila must have gotten high on the smell, she used so much.”

“Maybe the stink will poison her new boyfriend.”

“What a nice thing to say! We can only hope.”

“So,” Janet ventured, “not to undermine our intent here but, what was good about Lila? There must have been something right or you’d never have been together.”

Roy shrugged. He was still so angry, so wounded over Lila’s betrayal that it was hard to recall the positives. “She was one of those women all men want to be with at least once in their lives. Charismatic, full of joie de vivre. You meet a woman like that and you want to follow her lead and trust her judgment, even when it feels wrong. You’d rather doubt yourself than doubt her because you want to keep believing she’s wonderful. Perfect. Until, of course, the day you find out how long she’s been cheating on you. Then you realize what a gullible, lame-assed sucker you’ve been. What about Billy?”

Janet shook her head. “I’m embarrassed to say it, it sounds so cliché, but he was exciting. He had an irresistible charge about him, the sort that blinds a girl to his shortcomings. And he had many, many shortcomings.”

“So he was one of those bad boys?” Roy asked cautiously.

“Oh, yes.”

“Can you explain that to me? Women’s fascination with bad boys?” He worked to check the anger in his tone, to keep it civil and not accusing; Janet, after all, was just being honest as they agreed, she wasn’t rejecting him. It was hard, though, because she had gone for the guy who treated her like shit instead of someone like him who might have treated her well.

Of course, he’d done the same with Lila, but he didn’t want to think about that right now.

“It’s pretty simple, actually.” She put aside the polish and blew on the finished nails. “It’s more prestigious if we come in with a wolf on a leash than a dog—not meaning any offence there.”

“None taken. So it’s the female version of the trophy wife or girlfriend?”

“Exactly. No other lady can get the lone wolf to stay faithful to them, but you can. That not only makes you feel special, but proves to all the other women that you are special.”

“Don’t you ever think that if you do get him to be faithful—tame him—he won’t be a wolf any longer?”

“Oh, but we expect to have it both ways, don’t ya know?” Janet sighed to herself. Musing on all this was making her feel like she was gazing down on herself from some distant height. Amazing how silly and deluded she’d been. “He’ll still growl at other guys who look our way, and roughly grab and kiss us in public, as only the wild wolf does, making other women jealous. The sex will be unexpected, keeping things exciting.”

She sighed again, and gazed up at the ceiling. “That’s the one flaw in your Full Disclosure, Roy,” she added.

“What?”

“It’s easier to be honest with others than it is with yourself. When a woman like me hooks up with a bad boy, who she knows has a history of going from female to female, she fools herself. Even if he comes right out and says he’s not going to be faithful, she’ll tell herself: ‘he’ll be different with me.’”

“Like playing the lottery?” Roy’s tone was wry, which made Janet relax. Of course he’d understand.

“Like that, yeah. You go for the long-shot because you’re so sure that you’re unique; you alone can beat those odds. You lie to yourself, because if you don’t, you know you’ll feel…not special.”

“Do you think, then, that people can’t change?” he asked and shifted, as if unsettled.

“Oh, no. They can change. Being, however, older and wiser now than I was back at the bar,” she offered him a smile, “I think the mistake is thinking they can change how we want and when we want.”

Roy checked over his toes. They were as clipped as possible. “My clothes are all over the floor and so are my nails. What now?”

“You could leave the toilet seat up. Billy always did.”

”Um...nope. Can’t do that.”

Janet blinked at him.

“Can’t? Are you telling me you’re the one man in the world who puts the toilet seat down?”

“Always,” he shrugged.

“Oh, my God.” She faked a faint. “I’m in love!”

“Very funny. But seriously. I don’t see what the big deal is. I can aim and even if I couldn’t, I’ve gotta have that seat down sometimes, too.”

“Damn. A reasonable man. I thought you guys were extinct. I got so fed up with Billy bitching about my ‘annoying requirement’ as he called it and his right to leave the seat up if he wanted to that I made him a deal. Whoever scrubbed the toilet got to decide.” She snorted. “Like he was ever going to scour the bathroom. He didn’t complain after that, but he still acted like he was doing me a favor.”

“He’ll probably leave the seat up with Tiffany,” Roy observed. “And late at night she’ll sit and her skinny little ass will fall right in.”

Janet’s eyes gleamed with delight. “And he won’t have flushed! Hah!”

“He didn’t flush?” Roy winced. “No wonder you’ve a low opinion of guys.”

Janet airily waved her freshly painted nails. “You guys have to put up with our tampons and mood swings every month. That has to be as bad. Now that would be full disclosure,” she added. “If I were on my period or pms-ing. I mean, as far as showing you what I’m like at my worst.”

“Do you yell and scream?”

“I get weepy, actually. Anything remotely sad or wrongly said can make me cry. Like, if you advised me to get more exercise, I’d burst into tears thinking you thought me fat.”

“I bet Billy didn’t like that,” Roy said.

“Nope. Now how does that work? Why do you want women to be feminine...but not crying? Isn’t crying a part of femininity?”

“Yes, but you have to cry for the right reasons at the right time,” Roy pointed out. “Like when we’ve done something wonderful for you—or when you’ve made a terrible mistake and want us to forgive you. Then it’s sexy.”

“Or when you’ve given us the greatest sexual pleasure of our lives?” Janet asked coyly.

Roy felt his cock jump at her sultry tone. Damn. He tried to smile. “That hasn’t happened to me yet, but yes, I think that would qualify.”

Janet shifted in the tub and crossed her arms on the edge. Roy couldn’t help noticing how her breasts pressed up, glistening wet. “Was the sex good?”

“Huh?” He blinked.

“Sex. With Lila. Was it good?”

Roy shook himself. “Oh, yes. Very good. Until…well.” He felt his face go hot and squirmed inside. Full disclosure, he reminded himself. “Until she started having sex with Mr. Moneybags and decided she didn’t want to give me the same quality fuck she was giving him.”

Janet winced. Shit. Why’d she have to go and ask a stupid question like that? Roy looked as if he’d just been emasculated. Damn Lila. No wonder Roy was so down on women.

“I’m sorry. No one should have to face that kind of bullshit.” She hesitated. “Billy...wasn’t happy in our relationship. I mean, nothing I did satisfied him and he was always saying as much. We should have split months ago. But I don’t think he wanted to be on his own. Every time we talked about it, he’d imply that somehow or other I could fix what was wrong if I wanted to.”

“Because you were the problem?” Roy growled.

“Well, yeah. I was to blame and it was up to me to make things better. Then he met Tiffany and finally put an end to us.”

“That’s fucked up.” Roy said, genuinely angry. Janet was a great woman, sexy and funny. Kind. He couldn’t believe anyone would do that, keep her dangling and hoping and doubting herself till they were ready to leave. “While you were together, did he at least try to...satisfy you?” he asked awkwardly.

“You mean, sexually?” She offered a self-deprecating smile. “Yeah, but he almost never went down on me. I don’t know if he didn’t like it, or just didn’t want to with me.”

“What a shit!” Billy was sounding worse and worse to Roy. “It’s something a guy should do, no question. Or if he isn’t going to, then he shouldn’t expect anything in return.”

“I know, I know. I should have refused to suck his cock, but he had such a beautiful penis.” Janet shut her eyes and sighed. Oddly, that stirred something else in Roy, lust and something very like jealousy.

“Did you swallow,” he heard himself asking crudely. Janet’s dark eyes came open at his tone and the innocence in them made him feel guilty. What business was it of his if she had liked Billy’s cock?

“It wasn’t my thing,” she shrugged, “but Billy got off on it, so, yes, I did.”

“Lila never did. Most times I couldn’t even get her to...well.”

Janet shifted uneasily. Roy’s bitterness was back. “Some women aren’t into fellatio. Doesn’t mean anything.”

“I know. It’s just...I’d stimulate her till my jaw ached,” Roy pressed on, as if the truth were a venom he had to spit out, “And then she’d want to fuck. So I almost never got mine. And now I can’t stop wondering if she’s doing it all for Mr. Moneybags. I think,” he added softly, “that she faked her orgasms. At least during these last few months.”

“Oh, Roy!” Janet rose out of the tub, wanting to do something.

Roy felt his pulse speed up at the sight of her wet body. He saw her nipples harden in the cool air. “Here,” he snatched down a towel and wrapped it around her. Without intending to, he rubbed her dry, his hands lingering on the line of her back, the curve of her ass. He felt her warmth through the damp towel. Swallowing, he let go and stepped back. “Um—”

Janet adjusted the towel, unexpectedly charmed. Roy had copped a feel, but he’d done it so...thoughtfully.

“You know what I hated most about going down on Billy?” she said, stepping onto the bathmat, “I hated the way he talked to me while I was doing it. He’d say, ‘Yeah. Like that. That’s it!’ It was like he was masturbating. I mean, I was right there! Would it have been too much for him to say, ‘Oh, babe, you’re so good! Thank you!’?”

“I would have said it,” Roy murmured as he followed her into the bedroom. His face was red and his cock had gotten thick. He could feel it pressing against the cotton of his briefs. Janet sat on the bed and chewed on her lip. The hotel towel didn’t cover her very well. With each breath, her full, damp breasts rose, and the outline of her nipples poked through. Roy’s eyes drifted to where the towel parted. He saw her ample thighs and caught a glimpse of her pubic area, that dark, promising arrowhead. He was suddenly very much aware of her fragrance; the flora bubble bath mingling with that feminine incense.

“Take those off,” Janet abruptly said, nodding to his shorts.

“What?”

“I’m going to give you a blowjob, and no matter how good or bad it is, you’re going to say nice things to me.”

“Whoa, wait!” He started to step back, but she was already on her knees and pulling at his waistband. She got his shorts half down before he could stop her.

“Hey, hey!” He cried in alarm as his semi-erect cock bobbed out.

“For Christ’s sake, I’ve already seen it!” She slapped away his hands and dragged the shorts to his ankles. With insistent pulls, she got them off his feet.

“This is different—”

“Relax,” she insisted, setting her hands firmly on his love handles. For all her initial rush, however, she hesitated and just stared.

“What?” Roy demanded, insecure. His dick—sticking out as it was—looked like a cartoon nose on the face of a bearded muppet. At least, that’s how Lila had once described it. That had been back in the days when Lila had made them both laugh, before such comments started sounding like put-downs rather than jokes.

“You don’t know how beautiful a sight this is,” Janet’s breath warmed his cock. Roy blushed. No woman, certainly not Lila, had ever complimented him like that.

Janet inhaled deeply. Roy’s musk was different from Billy’s, earthy rather than sharp. She brushed her lips over the velvet of his crown, liking how it twitched for her. The feel of his flesh under her hands was different as well, softer, furrier. She was eager to give him a taste. Even as her lips kissed that rising head, however, Roy pried away her hands.

“I can’t.” Roy swallowed, then felt bad as Janet blushed and clutched at the towel self-consciously.

“I’m sorry. That was thoughtless of me—”

“It wasn’t. I mean, I’m not in mourning over Lila or anything like that, and, honestly, I’d love some, um, release but—”

“No, I get it,” she said and the hurt in her eyes nearly broke him. “You don’t…don’t have to reciprocate. I only want to make you feel better.”

“No, no, it’s not that!” he said quickly, “I like you and I want to reciprocate. I really do. It’s just...ladies first.”

“You’re kidding.”

“That’s the way I am,” he shrugged. “If you started on me—I’d love it, but it wouldn’t feel right.” He leaned down to draw her up. “You have to come first.”

“My God, you are a gentleman.”

Roy answered that by slipping the towel off her. Then he kissed her. Onions. He almost laughed. He tasted onions. But that was all right. She kissed him back, tentatively at first, then meltingly, not at all like Lila. Lila had been a fierce kisser; Janet was a very patient and inviting one, like she wanted to savor the touch of lip to lip and tongue to tongue. It was strange, also exciting; it made Roy feel daring to be exploring someone new.

Janet probed, testing these new waters. Roy came back with a caress of his tongue over her parted lips, sensuous enough to make her shiver. She couldn’t get over how gentle he was, lightly caressing her bare shoulders, moving her down onto the bed. She scooted back onto the pillows, knees bent. Inside, her belly fluttered nervously. Sex with Billy had been rough and raw. She wondered what kind of tune Roy would play.

Settling beside her, Roy brushed a hand over her breasts. He liked how weighty they were. He gave one nipple a pinch as he continued to kiss her. A satisfying intake of air. He stroked down to that triangle, that wonderful bush. It was still damp from the bath and felt warm against his hand.

Licking over the nipples, he made his way to her belly, tasting the cleanness of her skin. Unlike Lila’s, Janet’s tummy had give. Soft as a feather pillow. He paused to nuzzle it, then he smelled her. That tropical fragrance of a woman. Her thighs quivered as he moved between them. He stroked that inner skin, it was softer than silk. She moaned at his touch. Lowering himself down onto his belly, he felt the rough fabric of the quilt against his cock and saw the enchanting sight of Janet’s pubic hair sparkling with captured drops. Below that waited her pussy, deep red with excitement.

Roy sucked in a breath and ventured a taste. The feel of those wet lips over his tongue made him shiver, made him pulse. And the flavor of Janet’s honey, all salty-sweet, was intoxicating. Any apprehensions he’d had about not enjoying this vanished, and he eagerly indulged in longer, slower strokes, enjoying her.

“Ah!” Janet couldn’t keep her ass from bucking as Roy’s tongue jolted her. She couldn’t remember the last time a man had gone down on her, and her nerves jumped and buzzed to experience that intimate kiss once again. Before she could even catch her breath, Roy’s tongue was exploring, circling, teasing. She cried out, unable to keep her hips still. Finally, Roy’s arm captured her thighs, and his clever tongue flicked just short of her clit to make her howl and squirm.

God! Roy thought as he heard Janet shout, and fell into rhythmically laving those swollen folds. Janet was luscious. Her juices were flowing and her moans were vibrating down to him, making his cock so hard it ached. No high, bird-like yelps as he’d gotten from Lila. Janet’s vocals came from deep within. They felt honest. And they were driving him wild.

The hum started in Janet’s pussy, then buzzed up her groin and belly to her swaying breasts. She clawed at the bed with her freshly polished nails, fighting against Roy’s strong hold to grind her hips against that tongue. He kept teasing her clit, sending her juices flowing down her ass crack to soak the bed. At last, she reached down and tugged on his hair, demanding he give her what she needed.

That’s when he finally clamped his mouth on her throbbing clit and sucked. The humming crescendoed, sending her body into convulsions. She jerked and screamed, orgasming again and again.

Roy held on as Janet’s body shook with pleasure. None of Lila’s delicate little shudders. Janet’s whole body clenched and trembled. He caught a glimpse of her face, dark and flushed. He felt the tightening in her thighs; he smelled the gush of ecstasy from her. And then she collapsed, gasping for breath.

Roy released her and pushed up. His dick was hard and high; as proud as if it had made her come. He could feel it alert and twitching, eager to do its own explorations. Its tense anticipation was spreading through him.

“FUCK!” Janet panted. Sweat glimmered across her skin. “Is that what you did for Lila?”

“I tried to do that,” he said modestly.

“No wonder she had a hard time sucking your cock. I can hardly catch my breath.”

Roy, his cock still vibrating with want, felt his heart sink with disappointment. At the same time, his pride rose. So he was a good lover. Lila had left him doubtful.

“You just stay there,” he said, shifting over her.

“What? Hey no! Not before I get my chance!” she insisted, sliding off the bed.

“But you said—”

“Said I understood why a girl might be too tired to go down on you.” There was a breathless quiver to her voice that thrilled him. “Doesn’t mean I won’t. You sit here, on the edge.”

“Okay.” He adjusted and got himself into position. Janet settled between his legs, hands stroking over hairy thighs in a way that had his breath coming short.

“Now remember,” she said with a sly smile, “Every time you say nice things to me, you get rewarded.”

Janet was still trembling inside, thanks to Roy, but she did her best not to show it. It was Roy’s turn and she wanted to give him as good a time as he’d given her. Taking hold of his stiff cock in her sweaty hand, she flicked her tongue over the slit. He gasped and she felt the beat of the veins in his dick against her palm. Another lick, this one twirling around the tip, exploring its ridges and seams.

He gasped again, thighs jerking and his hands went right to her head, trying to press it down, but she kept hold of him, refusing. For a while, she toyed with the slit, tasting his musky flavor, loving the way she was getting his hips to thrust towards her. His hands stroked aimlessly over her hair.

God. She was good! Roy groaned as her sweet tongue explored him. The heat from his dick had flowed down to his thighs and ass and was now rising up his spine, demanding more, but Janet was resisting his attempt to fuck her mouth. She was torturing his tip, making it weep copious amounts of pre-cum. For a moment he didn’t know what to do, it’d been so long since he’d had his cock pleasured like this. Then he remembered what she’d said.

“Babe,” he gasped, “that’s—that’s wonderful, wonderful—”

Her mouth left him and he almost screamed in disappointment.

“Thank you, kind sir,” Janet said, and then she was bathing his dick, stem to crown, with her warm wet tongue.

“Oh, fuck!” Roy gasped, as the pressure within him spread from his spine across his chest.

Janet didn’t need to work up saliva, she was still drooling from the orgasm Roy had given her, and she was loving the velvet texture of his shaft. What was best of all was the feedback he was giving her with his moans and movements. He was with her, into it, losing control.

“You’re the best, the absolute best,” Roy murmured. He couldn’t keep his hips from thrusting. He hoped his flattery would get her to suck him, but instead she lapped at his hairy balls, shifting them in their sack. They tightened up at her attention. He could feel the skin crinkling.

“You’re marvelous, honey,” he moaned desperately, “Marvelous—”

Janet chuckled. Billy had taken her cock sucking so much for granted, it was a thrill to have a man begging for her skill. Her deflated ego swelled. Relaxing her throat, she returned to his tip and let his thrusting cock slide in.

Roy cried out as she took him, one of her hands milking the base of his stem, the other rolling his balls. Her head bobbed and that hot mouth sucked. His pelvis bucked as waves of exquisite pleasure glided up and down his sensitive shaft and sweat trickled down his back. Jesus! He felt himself quivering. She was wonderful! And he wanted her. Wanted all of her now!

“Lay down, lay down,” he gasped, pulling her off and onto the bed.

Janet barely knew what had happened. One minute she was concentrating on sucking Roy’s cock, the next she was on her back and he was rising over her.

His cock entered her, and her still sensitive nerves responded. She came again.

The agonizing loss of Janet’s mouth, of that delicious suction lasted only a moment. He was over her, and then, without a fumble or slip, he was gliding into the most delicious heat. His desperate cock was enfolded and he heard her cry out even as that impossible softness gripped him. He surrendered to the demand of his entire body to thrust, and he lost himself in pure sensation. The pull of that inner grip, the friction of his pulsing cock rubbing against those lubricated walls, all led to the explosion building in his body.

The two of them were grunting and gasping, they slid, sweaty skin over hot, sweaty skin. There was no holding back any longer. Roy sped toward the finish line. Janet gripped him, her nails digging into his back. She was still coming.

“Fuck me, fuck me!” she shouted.

He yelled incoherently as he jetted come hot as anger and then his body went rigid with singing pleasure and he hung there, released from every troubling thought and emotion. Another shot, and another; for what felt like a long while he just soared. Then his muscles relaxed and he came down, trembling. He couldn’t remember when he’d last come so hard, or felt so utterly satisfied afterwards. Like…like a man.

Janet felt Roy slip out of her, spilling juices and come all over her thighs. Shaking with exhaustion, she lay there, drifting on the hothouse aroma of their lovemaking. She assumed Roy would roll onto his back and bask, as Billy use to. Instead, he threw an arm over her and snuggled into her sweaty breasts. She felt his chest expanding and contracting with pants, felt his damp cock softening against her hip.

“Billy was a damn fool—” he gasped.

“Lila was an idiot—” she said simultaneously.

They laughed. Janet kissed Roy’s forehead, feeling strangely proud of him. “You are such a great guy. And a great fuck.”

“Not the misogynistic asshole you thought I was, huh?”

“Not while a girl’s sucking your cock. I wonder what other nice things I can get you to say about women—” she murmured reaching for him.

“Hey!” he grabbed her wrist, laughing and weakly wrestling with her. “No fair—”

The ringing of a cellphone broke the moment.

“Shit!” Roy glanced down. It was coming from his pants. “What a time for that call to finally come through.”

“Hey, at least they waited till we were done,” Janet said easily.

Roy reached over the side of the bed and fished his phone out of his trousers. Janet arranged the pillows behind her and snuggled into him. As he glanced at the number, his annoyed expression went suddenly slack. He hesitated as it rang and rang again, then answered.

“Hello?” He sat up and away from her.

Frowning, Janet sat up as well. She knew he probably wanted to concentrate on the call, but the way he’d just gone distant felt odd to her.

“This isn’t a good time,” he said tersely, and Janet heard the murmur of the voice on the other end rushing on.

“Jesus.” Roy winced and rubbed at his forehead. “Okay. Okay. I’ll...be there as soon as I can.”

Uh-oh. Janet felt the sweat chilling her skin. His hand holding up the phone fell and he glanced over at her, then quickly away. It was a guilty look.

Janet’s heart flipped over. “That wasn’t your overseas call, was it?”

“Lila,” he admitted, Adam’s apple bobbing. “It was Lila. I can’t fucking believe it. She’s at our...at my place. She wants to talk.”

A dozen different responses came to Janet, all of them starting with curses and ending with screams. Was he out of his mind? After all the shit that woman had put him through? But Janet knew how she’d react if that call had been from Billy. However much she resented her ex, she wasn’t over him yet. She’d want to talk with him. Roy wasn’t over Lila. That was the painful truth and there was no hiding from it.

CHAPTER FOUR

”She’s pretty,” Janet remarked as she turned off the ignition and Roy couldn’t deny that any more than he could deny what he was feeling at that moment. Lila was standing outside his apartment building, there under the streetlights. He’d almost forgotten how the waves of her daisy-yellow hair, perfectly coifed, could capture the light like a halo, or how her kittenish face, gentled with make-up could appear angelically sweet.

She was wearing a scarlet red dress, one of his favorites. With the help of a push-up bra, it made her slim waist look impossibly tiny, her curves curvier. Taken in totally, she radiated hot-but-innocent sexuality, glowed with it as earthy Janet did not. And Roy felt like a real shit for even comparing the two women. Janet didn’t deserve that…but he couldn’t seem to help it.

“Listen, Janet—” he tried.

“Roy, don’t,” she cut him off. “The only thing I ever expected from you was the truth. Everything else was gravy. I mean, come on, we just met. But I will tell you this: you’d better not let her hurt you again. She almost turned a wonderful gent into a bitter asshole, and that’s not right. Hear?”

Her dark eyes had caught his and in that moment nothing, not even Lila doing a strip tease, could have made him look away. Janet’s voice, her expression, everything about her rang through him, letting him know she was completely in his corner and on his side.

“Yes ma’am.” He leaned over and gave her a kiss.

Janet returned the kiss as passionately as she could, then deliberately broke it off. It was the only way she could think to thank him while also making sure he knew that she respected his decision. There was no point dragging this out. Whatever they might have had was not going to be.

She heard, rather than saw, Roy getting out. Felt the cold breeze, sensed his hand lifting in good-bye before he shut the car door. Then she started up the ignition. This had been a good night. A great night. Chilidogs and ranting about exes, a luxurious bubble bath, some laughs and incredible sex. She had nothing to complain about. But it was still painful to know that yet another man was leaving her for a younger, prettier woman. She drove off, determined not to let that hurt snuff out the warm afterglow of the evening.

Roy glanced across the kitchen table at Lila. She was sipping half-heartedly at the coffee he’d brewed them. It was good stuff, but not the kind she preferred and the wrinkle in her nose let him know that. He resisted the urge to tell her he’d tossed her coffee into the trash the morning after she’d left him.

“Who was that who drove you here?” she asked not-so-indifferently.

He shrugged. “A fuck buddy.”

“Roy!” she gasped in a way that was curiously satisfying.

“Did you expect me to stay true to you?” He slumped in his chair, arms crossed. It was a defensive posture, he knew, but he felt wary—mostly because his body was reacting to her. The smell of her perfume, the rise and fall of her displayed cleavage and her cupid’s bow lips, wet with gloss, were stirring up old responses. He knew he was in danger of letting her completely off the hook.

“No,” she said, glancing down and then back up. Moisture glimmered in her pretty, blue eyes. “I don’t blame you, Roy. Leaving you was one of the worst mistakes of my life!”

“Was it?”

“Oh, yes! I’m sorrier than you can imagine for what I did!” The tears fell.

It ought to have been gratifying, Roy thought, to hear her say that, to see her crying about it, but he couldn’t help remembering what he’d told Janet: how sexy tears were if a woman was admitting to a mistake. Lila, he reflected, was very appealing at that moment: cheeks damp, lower lip quivering with remorse. Roy idly wondered if she knew how arousing her repentance was. Stupid question, he decided. Of course she knew.

“I’m not expecting you to take me back right away,” she went on earnestly, “but please tell me you’ll consider it. I couldn’t bear to think we were completely and totally done—forever.”

Completely, totally and forever? Roy almost laughed, then frowned as it dawned on him that Lila had said such silly things to him before and he’d gobbled them up like candy. Why was he feeling the opposite now? Repelled by her hyperbole rather than attracted?

He frowned, then blinked as it came to him. Oh. Because he’d spent the night with a woman who hadn’t tried to be what he wanted her to be. Janet had been only herself with him and he’d been only himself with her. And as short as their time together had been, it had given him a taste for candor and killed any patience he might have for lies. Even lies he wanted to hear.

Still, a part of him ached for Lila. She was lying to him, playing with him, but he yearned to have her back. He wondered, though, if he’d still feel that way if he could get her to be as honest with him as Janet had been. Did he have the courage to find out?

“I need to ask you some questions first,” he ventured, leaning across the table.

More tears. “Must you?” her voice had a heart-rending tremor to it. “I’ve already hurt you so much. I know you want to punish me, but my answers will probably hurt you, too, and I don’t want that.”

Damn. Roy did laugh this time, though silently. What a clever evasion. He’d forgotten how clever Lila could be. “I’ll survive,” he said dryly. “All I want from you is full disclosure. No evasions.”

Her pretty eyes dropped demurely. “I’ll try.”

“Why did you leave him? He’s better looking than me and he makes more money.”

“I didn’t love him!” she said, touching on Roy’s hand, caressing it. “I thought I did, but I don’t. I love you.” She was close enough to kiss, but he resisted.

“That’s not true, Lila.”

“Of course it is!”

He pulled back his hand. “If you’re going to lie, you can leave.”

“Roy!”

“Why?” he slammed his hand down on the table, making her jump.

She gaped at him, but her expression changed. It held less remorse and more consideration. She licked her lips. “He...wasn’t a gentleman. He expected me to wait on him hand and foot.”

This time, Roy chuckled aloud. “He made you fetch him a soda while watching the football game, huh?”

She glanced away. “Not exactly.” Her tone was petulant.

“Next question—”

“Roy, what’s the point of this interrogation?”

“Did you suck his cock?”

“I knew it!” Lila threw up her hands. “I knew you were going to go for the sordid details—”

“No. I just want to know this one thing. Did you?”

She shifted uncomfortably. “Yes. Every time we did it, if you must know. Are you happy?”

He felt his stomach turn. Suddenly, she was no longer desirable. It was like a light switch going off. Amazing what honesty could do. “Why would you do that for him if you didn’t love him?”

That gave her pause. It clearly was not the way she’d expected this interview to go. “I...don’t—”

“Why?”

She pursed her lips and crossed her arms. Ah. There was the stubborn Lila he knew so well. In the past, he’d just about gone to his knees to coax her out of this mood. This time he just waited.

“I wanted to please him,” she finally admitted.

“I see.” Why didn’t you ever want to please me? he almost asked, but the answer was self-evident. In their relationship it had always been his job to please her, not vice versa. “Last question—”

“Thank God!”

“How long were you planning on staying with me this time? Do you already have another rich, sexy guy lined up, or are you going to need a few months to search for one?”

She was so flabbergasted that she couldn’t even utter his name. Her expression, however, spoke volumes.

“Looks like I hit the nail squarely on the head,” Roy smiled bitterly. “Thanks for the offer, Lila, but I’m not interested in being a placeholder. The sex wasn’t that good.”

“You—you asshole!” She shot to her feet. “I thought you were a gentleman, but you’re just an angry little man.”

As he was taller than her, he got what the “little” was about.

“I can be,” he admitted. “A misogynistic son-of-a-bitch, ugly, hurtful and, as you say, small. But I don’t like that guy, and I don’t want to be him—not ever again. Lucky for me, I don’t have to be him. I know that now. Which is why I’m not going to take your duplicity personally. Putting a twist on it, Lila, it’s not me, it’s you.”

“Bastard!” She was almost speechless with rage now, her face as red as a child about to throw a tantrum. “I don’t know why I even bothered to come back!”

“Because you can’t stand to be without a man,” Roy sighed. “It damages your self-esteem if you don’t have one of us dancing to your tune.”

“Which you were happy enough to do,” she pointed out. “Because you knew how damn lucky you were to get a girl like me. You blew it, Roy. From now on, you’re going to be stuck with skanks like that fuck buddy of yours.”

“Instead of sluts like you?”

She snatched up her purse and made for the exit. “I saw her. She’s a frump and you deserve her.” She slammed the door behind her.

Roy, still sitting at the table, gazed at his untouched coffee. “She’s honest,” he amended, “and I don’t deserve her.”

CHAPTER FIVE

There was no angry barfly this time around to get under Janet’s skin. In fact, Bud’s Basement was so quiet it could have used a tirade or two. Sipping at her margarita, she wondered why she’d returned to this dive. She had, in fact, deliberately stayed away for a couple of weeks, afraid of she might feel hurt or regret. The flashbacks, however, had haunted her into returning: Roy lifting his chilidog in salute to her, clipping his toenails in his underwear, helping her on with her coat. Memories of those sizzling, loving licks he’d given her. Those were the most vivid, making her throat tighten and her pulse race. In the dark of her bedroom, her fingers would wander down to her pussy, rubbing at her clit in a vain attempt to relive those exquisite sensations.

Shifting on the barstool she felt a wetness in her panties and found herself squirming with desire. Shit! She’d been having reactions like that for two weeks. And that was why she’d finally come back to Bud’s. She figured she might as well indulge herself with remembering Roy rather than trying to forget him. Besides, she had him to thank for finally putting an end to her rollercoaster ride of furious ups and weepy downs over Billy. Ever since that night she’d been free of all cravings for her ex’s lean body and bad boy smiles. Instead, she dreamed of Roy’s love handles and his broad hands. His abashed grin and brave honesty; she even missed the bitter guy she’d initially met, raging against women and lies. She hadn’t known it then, but that silly rant had been a hint of how intensely passionate he could be as a lover.

What was most telling about her reflections on Roy, however, was that they left her with a deep, steady warmth. Even when she remembered that he was now with Lila, she felt no anger. Just the hope that he was happy combined with a small pang of sadness.

“Buy you a drink?”

Janet blinked up, and she couldn’t help herself. She grinned with delight.

The smile took Roy completely by surprise. He’d been hoping to find Janet at the bar, but when he’d seen her, he’d held back for a few minutes, not only to assess his feelings, but also because he feared she might not want to see him. At the very least, he’d expected her to be wary or distant. The delight on her face, however, took him totally aback. He couldn’t believe the pure joy in her eyes; why would any woman be that excited to see him?

“Roy! Hello.” She grabbed his hands. “Gosh, it’s good to see you.”

“‘Um, it’s good to see you, too.”

“How are things? Did you ever get that overseas call?”

Overseas? Roy blanked for a moment, then he remembered. “Oh, oh, yeah, I did. The transfer went fine.”

“Glad to hear it. How are you?”

“I-I’m all right.” His heart was racing. He couldn’t seem to stop scanning her features. Those beautiful dark eyes, the high cheekbones. Had she always been so radiant? “How about you?”

“Pretty much the same.”

“Are you with anyone?” he asked, glancing from one side of the bar to the other. There was no one sitting on either side of her, and the bar was almost empty, but he still tensed asking it. She might be waiting for someone, after all.

“Nope,” she sighed, but her smile never dimmed. “My cottage cheese thighs are keeping the men at bay. What about you? Can you sit down and talk for a moment? Or are you on your way to meet Lila?”

That struck him. She’d been that thrilled to see him, was still elated, and yet she thought he was with Lila? Oh, fuck me, he thought. Why did I ever part from this woman?

“I’m not with her,” he confessed. “It didn’t work out between us.”

“Seriously?” Her eyes filled with concern. “Oh, Roy, I’m so sorry. What happened?”

He lowered his voice. “You happened, or we happened. That night of full disclosure—”

“Jesus.” She gripped his hands harder. “Tell me.”

He shifted and swallowed past a knot in his throat. “Lila returned to me because Mr. Moneybags was too demanding. But after what you and I had that night...it was like I’d been given x-ray vision. I was still attracted to her, but I could see everything underneath. I knew, no matter what she said, that she really didn’t want to come back. All she wanted was a stand-in. Her new shoes had hurt her feet and she had no option but to wear her old, comfortable pair till she found others.”

“Fuck. That’s terrible.”

“It was pretty scary,” he agreed. “I saw this future with Lila: her leaving and coming back to me whenever she needed a stopgap. And I could see myself playing that role, worn down a little more each time till there was nothing left.” He caught his breath. “And do you know, even being completely aware of all that...I still almost said yes?”

Janet felt her gut tighten, especially when Roy’s gaze fell, and he turned his head away in shame. His honesty with her, his full disclosure, both moved and humbled her.

“Come on.” She slid off the stool and, glancing about to make sure no one was watching, drew him to the bathroom. She slipped them in and locked the door.

“Um,” Roy said, “I really don’t think—”

“No sex,” she smiled, and put her arms around him. “Scout’s honor. I just want to hold you and tell you it’s all right. You’ve nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Yes, I do,” he said, gripping her back. He’d been so afraid she wouldn’t want to talk to him again, let alone touch him. Relief nearly made him cry. “In one night you made me feel more like a man than Lila ever did. You were completely open and honest; Lila never was. Yet the second she showed up, I was running to her. I know I’m a shit. I just didn’t think I was that much of a shit.”

“If wanting to go back to an ex makes you a shit, then I’m one, too. I’d probably have done the same if Billy had shown up.”

“Well, he’d better not show up now,” Roy said fiercely, “Because I swear, if he does, I’ll beat the crap out of him. First, for treating you so bad, and second because I’ve no intention of giving you up. I’ve been coming here every night hoping to find you.”

“What?”

He shrugged ruefully. “I didn’t know where you lived, and you didn’t give me your number. Or your last name. Oh, Janet, you don’t know how glad I am to see you! Here. Sit down.” Roy lowered the toilet lid. When she’d settled, he knelt down before her. “I’ve a new proposal: I want to disclose even more of myself to you. Show you my tax returns, dental records, internet porn sites, anything you want to know. Just go out with me again and let me get to know you better.”

They were holding hands. Roy saw Janet concentrating on his fleshy palms, running her long fingers over them. She looked up and he saw the glimmer of tears in her eyes. She wiped at them as if refusing to cry.

“I—” she began, even as a pounding on the door interrupted them.

“Hey! Hurry it up in there!”

“Shit!” Roy stood up.

“Come on,” Janet said, rising to unlock the door, and he noticed that she was trembling. “Let’s get out of here.”

The man waiting for the bathroom scowled at them. “Get a fuckin’ room why don’t ya?”

“What a good idea,” Janet laughed and wiped at her eyes again. Roy noted, however, that she kept smiling even as she blinked back the tears. It was very sexy.

They put on their coats, and Roy held the door for her. It was another cool, windy night, but unlike the last time, the shakiness Janet felt had nothing to do with nervousness. In fact, she couldn’t remember ever being so happy. Or stunned. Roy must have felt the like, because he just stood gazing at her, like he couldn’t believe how lucky he was.

“You, um, never answered,” he finally ventured. “About my proposal. Do you...want to do it?”

“Do I want to do it?” Janet echoed. Then she leaned in and kissed him, long and slow. When she finally swayed back, he was breathing hard.

“Why the hell not?” she said. “What do you say to cheap tacos, lots of hot sauce? And maybe afterwards, a shared bath at my place? I’ve a tub big enough for two. You can complain about my girly soaps and the fact that you have to shave with pink razors.”

“And you can complain about my smelly socks and how loud I snore.”

“I snore too,” Janet said, as they strolled away from the bar. “And hog the blankets.”

“Of course you do.” Roy’s eyes were bright. “I am, however, going to make one obnoxious demand of you. Whatever else we do tonight, we keep our exes out of it. Not one mention of either of them. From now on, it’s just us. Me and you.”

“Mmmm. Sounds very therapeutic. I agree to your obnoxious demand, on the condition that you meet my, one, annoying requirement.”

“Which is?”

“Leave your cell phone off.”

Roy grinned and possessively slipped his arm about her waist. “Yes ma’am.”

THIRTEEN

THIRTEEN

In the Fall of 2005, Thirteen felt a desire to read some romantic erotica and went to an online website to indulge. Halfway through this indulgence, it occurred to her that she had a few erotic and romantic stories she wanted to tell. Six years, four awards—including one from a French website—and twenty-two stories later, she's still writing erotic romances. Who knew such large rewards would come from such a small indulgence? Thirteen lives in a seaside town with a cat, a strange but sexy man who says he's her husband, and a very romantic imagination.

Table of Contents

Title page

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

THIRTEEN